Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is the unhealthy coalition between a narcissistic parent and his or her children against the targeted, non-narcissistic, non
— Read on pro.psychcentral.com/recovery-expert/2016/06/children-with-narcissistic-parental-alienation-syndrome/
Tag: relationships
An open letter to Fathers of Our Children
It is not that I have not seen or witnessed or carried
your burdens , emotionally , deeply as a empathic
healer of deep spirit and faith , just surrendering
to vision , that I know is of DIVINITY and experiences
of having our children and grandchildren to whom
tethers or cords cannot be broken.
I witnessed the tears , last year , after many catch
up calls , that began with you can text and call me
now .. The happy girl , with her own trauma-drama
in an open hostility towards me that is so many
negative tentacles, as even as I was abused openly
by her , even when medicated , I knew her deep pain
and yours were equaled ..And much Harm would
result .. the reverb was I know there is a Divine
and there will be justice . I will speak up for millions
of erased families , that 1 prevail in all ways
as I continued my decent in hell on earth …
Mom’s Day brings this to mind ..
She left with so much undone , unsaid as it seems
you choose .. however , having witnessed as much
I could of Dad’s life , in his effort to spare me ,
his anger , were born of not knowing , of not
having support , of not being heard , while
keeping his independence . It was not until his
fall, outside nights and days for 4 days , and rebirth
as he was brought to , that I knew I had succeeded
and he was lifted from a depressed solitary existence
to hero.. I encouraged him to make changes in his
will , and add brothers , leave Jerry his car , funeral
plans , and tidied up his house, organizing , which
brought discoveries that still make me cry .
I found Mama’s Southern Living Magizine Books
annuals she cherished , and in another drawer ,
hidden , her jewlery box , the gold and diamonds
that disappeared the day of the funeral , along
with other treasures ..You were down for the
count , and walking , so was I. Trauma does
not cover the surreal experience of being estranged
in a knowing , of family , in addition to the death
of a Mother who was betrayed by her corporate
AMA employers , at 67 , as was her 1st born.
Sure cuts down on retirement , ya know?
Dad received a portion I believe ..wasn’t a lot .
And they got him , too ..
The time we did have , was magical and so
deeply held , and had I known he had end stage
heart failure , end stage COPD , and he was being
medically and spiritually and financially abused
I would have made more noise .
I did report to Social Services, Dad’s Dr went out
telling Dad he’d put him in nursing home and
Dad would loose all his money .
So no danger was found , I was limited in
seeing him in in prisoned, by drugs , hearing
how in and out he was, as he was paraded
before friends and church members, like
a banner of Christianity. He admitted his
situation , having received an in house hair
cut that was horrific , he was like a 2 year old .
I was returning a huge hand gun , he had given
me , like Clint Eastwood type , due to the
urging of his caretakers that I might kill my self
as I brought him a few things , including new
suit separates including socks , to replace
the suit , that had been preserved for his
funeral.
In discussions , he had never owned up to
we discussed caskets , as he was going to need
a larger one , but he was concerned over cost.
He did not recall having ordered his , when Mom
died in 99. I resolved that and so he was taken
by caregivers to change his will , that put my
nullified his existing will , which was out dated
and left everything to me after the bank
sold everything .
That was a bad idea , along with other , which
omitted sons and daughter , he had plans to leave
insurance polices . Stocks existed but were in
a safety deposit box , which caretaker accessed
after having Dad write that will naming him
executor of will , medical and financial.
I discovered this by a warning text to watch my
back 13 days before he died , notified 2 days
after he developed pneumonia, after a full day
out which included viewing a remodel of his
kitchen flooring , that a relative of caretaker did
without regard to dust ..COPD , and no immunity
.
He was begin morphine to bring forth death
and no longer communicating when I arrived
receiving a call in late afternoon , having to
prepare and driving 45-50 minutes .
For 12 hours , I sat with him , always with
someone with us .
Leaving once to call a friend , a professional
who helped me grasp what stage he was at.
I suggested playing music for him , as a conversation
was ongoing about his money or events , a phone
call negotiating money to aid getting daughter
in ..
As I wiped his mouth of foam, I owned that
this was all negatives , he was responsible for
leaving his body ..Bucket after bucket , of tissues .
Dose after dose of morphine ….
He looked up at the ceiling , startled , and I
rejoiced as I knew his angels and spirit guides
had arrived and explained to him and he calmed .
At least 6 times he looked up , and I asked
permission to removed his oxygen , from each
son . I received permission , and found later
this was proper end of life procedure .
He blinked in surprise , and I told him it was ok.
He trusted me, heard me , unable to see at
that point .. I am his Mom as he was mine ,
and his last moments on earth , gave me a
gift , and liberation , that allowed me to withstand
the aftermath ..
It affirmed behaviors of the father of our sons
that were never acceptable , but allowed me
to acceptable ..
This song of character , of owning one’s truth
and transforming non responsive failures
and non forgiveness, guilt , shame , regrets
abuses , in light and light that is the right of
each of us.
The feeling of running out of time , is pushed
but also shows up in ways that have opened
my visionary thoughts into a whole other
skill.
So I offer the CSN& Y, DM cellular response
and admit , I employ eye to eye , in an effort
to more cosmically connect ..
Dad had time, he transitioned , he exited
returning to the Great Mother , his Mother
waiting , Mom , so many welcome souls
and in that , who does not deserve this light
this Divinity ?
As I listened to the father of our sons
still clinging to falsehoods , he teared up
as he spoke of our sons , and his desires
to correct a few errors , and I saw the light
in him , which I choose to believe is in fact
his truth , not his shadow ..
©️
Blessings & Peace
Doña Luna
Financially Ever After: What to Do If You’re Being Gaslighted with Meredith Shirey
Last week, we talked about financial abuse and gaslighting. On this episode of Financially Ever After, we’re diving deeper into the topic of gaslighting with our guest, Meredith Shirey. Meredith is the founder and practice director of her New York-based private practice, and is a psychotherapist who specializes in relationship issues through couples therapy. Today we’re talking about what gaslighting is, what to do to get yourself out of a gaslighting situation, and how to help someone who may be a victim. What is gaslighting? Gaslighting is when somebody makes you question your own reality. This is not a difference of opinion, this is a deliberate and malicious attempt to gain control over you. For example, secretly dimming the lights with their smartphone while acting like they don’t notice anything when you bring it up. When a gaslighter succeeds in making you question your own judgment, that opens the door to thinking like, if I can’t trust myself, then I must trust you — allowing that person to wield a lot of control and power in the relationship. Meredith shares some real life examples of gaslighting, and gives insight as to specific reasons abusers may choose to do this. Grounding yourself If you think you’re being gaslighted, do some simple grounding to remind yourself of your reality. Remind yourself you’re in your body. Remind yourself that you know your truth. Meredith shares some exercises you can do, like labeling items in the room out loud (“microphone, coffee cup”), or doing things with your five senses (What can you physically feel right now? What do you hear? What’s something you can smell?). Narcissism and gaslighting Narcissism and gaslighting go hand in hand. They like telling themselves they’re better than other people, that they’re superior. So if they’re feeling fragile or terrified, their way of defending against that is to act in ways that are very controlling. They have a need for attention, and sometimes they’re willing to get that attention in terrible ways, like gaslighting. What to do If you recognize that this is happening in your relationship, do not confront the perpetrator. Don’t think that you’re going to be able to change them or their behaviors by going toe to toe with them. Find a therapist who can help you work through this, but do not search on your home devices, in case they’re being monitored. Do not go to couples therapy. Go to individual therapy. The way couples therapy is held, it may enable the abuser even more — so this is something you need to do on your own. As an added note, be sure to go to a therapist instead of friends or family. A narcissist who gaslights will tend to rally people to back them up, and they’re very good at making sure these things happen behind closed doors so it’s your word against theirs. Helping someone else If you realize someone else is being gaslighted, be very mindful of not putting them in a situation that’s dangerous. Do not contact, confront, or engage the abuser in any way. When you bring it up, allow for a place of openness and transparency and no judgment. Do not validate the abuse, but validate their feelings and let them know this is safe and you love them unconditionally. Resources Meredith Shirey (LinkedIn) Meredith Shirey (Website) Psychology Today
— Read on francisfinancial.libsyn.com/what-to-do-if-youre-being-gaslighted-with-meredith-shirey
Scapegoat : I had no idea it would go so far , trounce another generation 2 as well.
Ending this , is difficult, given the length and intensity
of the acceptance of erroneous information, drama
and hysteria , that lacks reason.. effectively having
revealed it self , and there is naught to do, but see
it through ..
Will I be heard ? Will I trigger some? Will retaliation be
the normal response ?
All is in perfect order ..
Revelations , open the wound to be healed , the best choice
and the free will to do what one chooses .
It was part of my experience in becoming
myself , interested , instead of the fractured , dislocated
disposed of , I know my dimensions ..And
what’s brought me to my knees time and time
again is love .
And light .
I am ever Thankful for this post of truth , the
Shadow , the deep study , taking time and
responsibility in transforming his life
as aiding others by sharing his experience .
©️
Blessings & Peace ,
Doña Luna
Should “Parental Alienation” Be Criminalized? | Psychology Today
Yes
There may need to be consequences for a “parentectomy,” but criminalization is not the best route.
— Read on www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inside-the-criminal-mind/201905/should-parental-alienation-be-criminalized
“Gaslighting”-The Mind Game That Manipulators Use To Make Their Victims Think That They’re Going Crazy
Had major lessons
Graduate ✅🙏🏼💯🎁
Mind Games : John Lennon Official Video
Have you found yourself questioning or own sanity? If someone led you to this, then you should be very careful. You may be a victim of gaslighting.
— Read on curiousmindmagazine.com/gaslighting-the-mind-game/
A releasing of what I was not knowing . 2006 Language of Babies
I personally had no idea of these facts , and heard each
sound , and knew it.. Did I then ?
I fought hard , and long to be there for our children .
The effort to just get along was thick with discrimination
like a 1940s , black and white . Nothing about me
had merit , I was a poor house keeper , did not bring
in revenue , but spent , a bookkeepers , accountant mentality
who did not participate in her drama.
I had her property, her creation , and so it was each
son was an asset to carry the family name.
That our sons where experiencing a targeted Mom
did affect them, as judgements , detachment were
normal in the contacts for networking .
So nurture was a sitter, school and tons of
activity and I was so not that.
Shunned doesn’t quite describe my experience
and perhaps I exposed myself , as rejecting it.
However , the professionals were educating
on detached parenting, as in allowing crying
for 15 minutes .
So , yea, I released a lot of regrets for not knowing
and allowing anything or anyone to guide me,
that wisdoms of ancients are best , when in
receiver ship of one’s highest self .
The adverse child experiences thus , come from
not knowing ?
We transcend that by knowing . I released my wounds
to the Universe , so many times and so many ways
I am weak , physically which is normal , in
a world in transition to the natural order
where babies have been coming in with ancient
wisdoms , that need no verbalization.. We are learning
that language, for those who have been induced in
varied mental states , by chemicals , made by
humans who profit on induction , rather that prevention
and cures that in harmony with our individual needs ,
survivors, of all that is dear, children , home, finances
the negative , catastrophic ripple is absorbed in all
of society that accepts this as normal..
As simple as hearing your new born, grasping what
harm is being done , on a soul level, but pushed
by a profession who did not know , or choose
not to know .
A huge question was answered , one I have researched
without success which I will discuss , in depth
ASAP.
This is a delicious Divine gift , my Moon 🌝 is in Taurus
and Mother gave me a huge gift 🎁.
WOW , a great day to receive , and release
as rain lightly sprays my windows like tears from
heaven. 🙏🏼👼🏼👼🏼👼🏼🙏🏼♥️♥️♥️🥰💡
Blessings & Peace ,
Doña Luna
Universal Sounds Babies Make, 2006
The song I was listening to on Pandora
Inner Journey – A path of Compassion
-Karunch couldn’t be found .
This is a sample of her Satam Kaur
Little Shaman ~ Narcissist & Children
This was disturbing , very much so..
I will have to watch it again, for clarity
and towards writing for a submission ,
before mid month ..
I am Thankful for this information .
Blessing on you Taurus New Moon.
It is my Moon’s home, balanced
harmonious , all home should be
in peace ..
©️
Blessings & Peace ,
Doña Luna
Sons of Narcissistic Father’s
Jealous is what I believe drove him to rape
6 days after the birth of child.
Marking his territory ; witnessing a profound
love and attachment .
Having to be told , to pick up his child.
None of this was normal..9 months of
his seething , feeling betrayed ..taking
no joy, only obligation in becoming a Dad
Acknowledging this in recent years , how
much he loves that word , in his mind clears
all of what’s discussed in this video.
Apologies , owing responsibility , healing
are not going to happen; nothing moves him
and that scared me silent ..
I have never ever witness anyone so void , so
self destructive, so holding his trauma .
A feminine version of this showed up for one
last lesson, in his alter masculine/feminine
recently and it was extremely enlightening
to grasp the inner views …
Adult children , witnessed addiction, co-dependency
alcoholic and co -dependence , ignored PTSD in
a highly superior , educated , successful maternal
for whom money is everything . No communication
about these major life efforts ,to her sons , with
holding ..friends instead , walking a fine line
having no support in lieu of a repeated lesson
of exactly the same amount of time.
Hearing this renewal on steroids ,after 6 years
where I would suddenly be blasted with negativity
that was so low energy , I gave er a go.
My reward was the takeaway , Understanding
the detailed thinking , planning , timing in
order to carry out plans , in exiting a current
situation ..Draining , yes .. the dynamics brought
my very essence up for a review by a toxic trauma
laden person , stuck, fear-filled , negative and
projecting .
Hours of phone , getting in a time warp
that I found disgusting , the afternoon came
and it ended .
Trusting in change , for her blueprint , is
close , I took myself out of the equation.
I have been on the receiving end of this
hysteria , shame and blame projected
you’re it, because I say so, from folks
who have no idea of the harm to self
and others . I was that person , medicated
floundering in what I sense ( time has ✅)
how my body, the whole of me responded
in core wounds that were not all mine,
but empathically felt..Add that to generations
of abuse in DNA ..I forgave myself, surrendered
all, and live a quiet peace-love-joy, balanced
life ..
Jealousy for this, not understand the personal
power advantage of being in this place , fears
of the harsh lessons inherit in non supported
states of change , like death .
Reviewing this, intensified this attack on me,
I get that..
I have great empathy and support , and know
what is desired in heart and head and soul
will win out , over who will take care of me.
I was forced to nurture myself .. ongoing , yes
and sacred ..
No one has permission to speak to me , in such
a manner, read my blogs . Bother to hear me
over your own inner voice, speak up at the time
of the infraction I might have made or trigger .
Puking those toxins out , spewing me as a target
give me a pretty good idea , of where your coming
from , but silencing ..and I cannot afford to be
anywhere in that space with anyone .
Ever again
Saying so much about inner thinking , I did
not mourn the failure , or lay in hope
of a reunification .
It is what it is..
I aim higher , shake it off and move forward .
Stirred , Shaken, but moving on..
Resolved to step out of the matrix that allows
one sniff of behaviors to be present ,
20 plus years is quite enough , 42, excessive
but so understood now , in all it’s tentacles
given the tools to rise above .
Gratitude to be on my way..
Sun is Shining , Birds are singing
as I step in to fresh food market day , 1st this
year , intent of bliss , seeing old friends
listening to music , a simple , drama
and abuse free heaven on earth..
©️
Blessings & Peace ,
Doña Luna
3 Powerful Steps to overcome Trauma Triggers & Shame~Lisa A Romano
I appreciate her shared experiences , and
common sense , combined with educated
knowledge 💝
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 