Silence

As a target of weaponized silence I am aware when anyone uses this against me .

As such I’m aware of the distortion within the heart mind and soul of such an individual whose actions do not keep pace with their words . Or these words are omitted thus a feeling of correctness for not having truth within and challenged resort to covert acts .

youtube.com/watch

Narcissist & Marriage

Totally agree; I was no more than a “place holder “.

His reasons for marriage were not normal and masked until it was undeniable after 1 year but we had a child 🧒 and I had no resources for safety or money which gave him power for 21 years and 2 more children that were his property and leveraged to continue the abuse and hold him on high for his $$& connections .

Triangulation was constant , stability was zip ,acting as the all knowing, all seeing perfectionist to whom I’d never ever be enough for, much less equal .

And he set this standard, modeled this malignant character to our 3 sons ,who fear and deny the facts/truths.

youtube.com/watch

Living Bereavement

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How does the Japanese animated film, Spirited Away, relate to parental alienation? For a start, the brilliant Studio Ghibli aren’t afraid to delve into the darker, more fearful aspects of childhood, much like the brothers Grimm in an earlier era. The film captures what it’s like to be a child who finds herself transported into a strange, bewildering place. Chihiro’s parents are turned into pigs for stealing food from spirits, and she has to find a way to survive a terrifying adult world by regaining her basic human rights, through toil and struggle, in order to find her freedom (and rescue her parents too). Also, the experience of alienation is like having our children spirited away from us by adults who put their own needs above that of the children. It is called a living bereavement. The sense of loss is huge, and we grieve. Our children are alive but taken to a place where we struggle to reach them, communicate, and keep our relationship with them alive. I get quite a lot of messages of despair, and my heart goes out to each and every target parent who is suffering through the experience of alienation. I’ve been there myself. But I am here to say you can survive it. I did, and I am now doing all I can to help others do the same.

What therapy should be ; Dan Edmonds Ed.D

When a distressed person enters the realm of modern psychiatric practice they are first confronted with what Laing terms as the ‘psychiatric ceremonial’. In this process, the experience of the person is not considered. Rather, the psychiatrist sits in a place of judgment, he being considered sane and stable, and determines by his subjective observation of behavior how the person is a deviant from what should be expected of him or her and then categorizes it and assigns it a label. There is no concern for the person’s experience, rather the person is seen as an ‘it’, as an object whose behavior is to be analyzed. Science is only able to examine what is, not what will be. It is based on duplication of results, but can we duplicate experience. When we merely look at behavior without understanding the context of it, we draw false conclusions. Understanding the context may lead us to see that the behavior is not truly meaningless after all. Frankl states, “An incurably psychotic individual may lose his usefulness but yet retain the dignity of a human being…a doctor, who would still interpret his role mainly as that of a technician would confess that he sees in his patient nothing more than a machine…but man is ultimately self-determining.”
Laing states, “behavior therapy is the most extreme example of such schizoid theory and practice and proposes to think and act purely in terms of the other without reference to the self of the therapist or the patient, in terms of behavior without experience, in terms of objects rather than persons. It is inevitably therefore a technique of nonmeeting, of manipulation, and social control.’ Experience is the soul of psychotherapy and we should note that the term psychotherapy literally means the ‘healing of the soul’. The therapeutic process should be a meeting of two human beings, it should be the sharing and understanding of experience. Laing states that “I see you and you see me. I experience you, and you experience me. I see your behavior and you see my behavior. But I do not and never will see your experience of me.” It is popular today to look at individuals’ behaviors merely as the result of chemical processes or the effects of so called chemical imbalances. But then we must ask the question as Laing did- do chemicals come together because they love each other? Do atoms explode because they hate one another?
So often we seek to ignore experience. Laing notes the invalidation of experience by such comments as ‘that never happened’, or the trivialization of
experience, or to invalidate its content by such words as “it wasn’t really that way’ or ‘how can you think such a thing?” We must realize that we exist in an existential vacuum, and it is these things that lead to the development of aggression, addiction, depression. Our behaviors are how we communicate distress; they are for some the only form of communication they know. Their behaviors communicate to us a glimpse of their experience. “If our experience is destroyed, our behavior will be destructive. If our experience is destroyed, we will have lost our selves (pg.28).” The therapeutic process is a shamanic voyage, a journeying with another person. But can two human beings truly come together? Are there too many barriers? Can we put aside our affiliations, our ethnicities, our religions, and all the other things that set us apart? Can we come together completely bare and share in the human condition? Nietzsche stated, “Nihilism represents the ultimate logical conclusion of our great values and ideas- because we must experience nihilism before we can find out what value these ‘values’ really had.” So, we must come together in nothingness and from this to ex nihilo, from nothing, become. We must as Frankl (pg. 112) stated be able to transform tragedy into triumph.
But without often realizing it, therapists and others become agents of oppression. Is our work solely leading people to become proper conformists, to do what others are doing? Is our work solely to make people adapt to totalitarianism, to do what they are told to do? It has always been these two processes that have led to the most dangerous of
outcomes. When freedom and autonomy are taken, and individuals can no longer be individuals, when critical thinking has ceased, we have entered a dreadful place. Maybe we are already there. Freedom is to have choice and have regard for others. License is to do which one wishes without regards to the other. Often today we see the violence evoked on people in the name of a common good or a common cause, or as Durkheim would say the collective consciousness. We can even justify our brutality as progress if what we are doing somehow subdues a person, makes them more amenable to society, or brings us satisfaction. If we can turn a person into a ‘them’ by ascribing a label, then ‘we’ can feel justified to treat them as we wish. This violence which calls itself love can be found within the very structure of the family. Within the structure of the family are certain rules that are established that the members are to adhere to. These rules may not always be sensible, but nonetheless become a part of how the family operates. They are generally known whether or not they always are followed. It is dependent on who is in control and what the consequences are for violation whether the family members adhere to the established rules of conducting themselves.

-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.
MEETING OF TWO PERSONS: WHAT THERAPY SHOULD BE

Child Psychological Abuse /PA

The heartbreaking and frustrating thing for alienated parents is that we can’t force our child/children to see things from our point of view or, at the very least, to see things in a more balanced way. We crave justice. It is hard to resist trying to tell them right from wrong, to teach them that this (parental alienation) isn’t the way a loving parent behaves, that we love them, we want them in our lives, we’re not who they’ve been led to believe we are … If we push all this on them, we risk pushing them away. They don’t (want to) see their alienation or that they’ve been in any way complicit. They were acting in the only way they knew how to survive the nightmare situation their alienating parent put them in. It is a test of patience and love, waiting for them to wake up from this nightmare and see the light.

Homelessness & Trauma

The case discussed had alcohol addiction and ” behavioral ” health treatment included a lot of prescribed drugs . These are supposed to be short term use only.

A survivor of childhood sex abuse , her lover became abusive and this sadly points to changes being required.

Homelessness alters everything and in my opinion she should not have been evicted while in treatment .

I don’t feel the obstacles to heal addictions are necessary in the name of service and help , including a list of RX which ongoing in treatment bring a whole new problem when seeking balance in life … seems never ending

www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/i-have-no-one-understanding-homelessness-and-trauma

Childress : Child becomes “regulator object for NPD/Borderline Personality

drcraigchildressblog.com/

Child Sex Abuse , Is not exempt in any religion and always covered up

https://roanoke.com/news/national/former-mayor-mormon-bishop-accused-of-sex-abuse-of-children/article_2f81fec5-28af-5b9a-82d9-40c754fa5f94.html