September 28, 2016 · Shared with PublicBy Judge Michele LowranceI have been a judge on the divorce bench for 16 years, and have watched the wreckage of the corrosive legacy of parental alienation and visitation interference play out over decades. We have no statistics for measuring this group, because the victims are too vast. But the concentric circles include the children, their children and the extended family as well. The declaration of war by one parent on another creates radioactive fallout, which contaminates for generations.The alienating parent treats the target parent like a disease in the child that must be removed. They make the child’s survival contingent upon such removal. So the child must extricate the parent without the privilege of grieving the loss. These are crippling circumstances.I have witnessed impassioned declarations of love for a child by an alienating parent to masquerade the venom he/she feels for the other parent. Parents who do this are not interested in mere control. Their stakes are higher: total annihilation of the target parent’s bond with the child. Little by little, alienation in a divorce case starts to take root. And when it fully takes root, I see the child’s boundaries collapse before my eyes. Soon the child forgets how to protect him or herself, and must align with the alienating parent as if life depends on it — because it does.Perhaps curing this degenerating influence may, in the future, be addressed by therapy. But for now, we can and must do better. I want to tell you how to be proactive in court, and how to fight against the inclination to give up like so many hurt, alienated parents — who are, frankly, not always welcomed in the courts.Why Cases Involving Parent Alienation are so DifficultHere are some reasons these cases are so difficult, and why judges often have no love for them: 1.Combative parents present conflicting stories of “he said / she said,” and make it very difficult to determine who is telling the truth. Often an alienating parent comes to believe what he or she is saying, and their presentation seems authentic. 2.When targeted parents present their side of the case, they are often angry and frustrated — and as a result, they don’t present very well in court. Judges often consider attitude as influential as content. 3.The children often support the alienating parent by telling the judge, their attorney and mental health professionals how they have been treated badly, and of their dislike, for the target parent. The reasoning skills of alienated children are often compromised, as is their ability to choose freely. 4.Alienated children often won’t cooperate with therapeutic intervention, and courts have difficulty enforcing these orders. 5.Judges like to believe that what they do works and it is the right decision. When their decisions don’t work, they often get exasperated with both parties.What You can Do in CourtsDespite these difficulties there is plenty that you can do. Here are some suggestions for handling parental alienation in the courts: 1.Parenting plan orders should be entered as soon as possible. 2.Create an alienation map or chart for the judge, which shows him or her in five minutes what couldn’t be said in five hours. This map should include all missed visits, and a list of all the denigrating phrases made by alienating spouse to the children, including the friends and/or extended family of the hated parent (if they are admissible in evidence). If you know how to make a graph, you can show the increase in missed visits in a very compelling and impactful way. 3.Most judges aren’t warm to the phrase Parent Alienation Syndrome. Instead, ask the judge to please keep an eye open for visitation interference, as the case progresses, and describe for him or her the maligning behavior. 4.Get a court order for parenting therapy as soon as possible. 5.If orders are violated, go to court on a Rule To Show Cause for violation of the order as soon as possible. If you can’t afford an attorney, then do this yourself. Write petition for rule, for visitation violation, for family therapy, or for makeup visitation.You may be among the many alienated parents I have known, who have grown weary due to the repetitive stress fracture on your heart. Each time your visitation is interfered with, it has a cumulative affect. This can make you hyper sensitive, which easily magnifies your emotional response.Because your emotions are flooding your ability to reason, writing and rewriting a petition with your attorney is a rational thing to do and gives your thoughts “breathing time.” If you immediately act upon your anger, you are just going to make things worse — and perhaps run the risk that the other parent will get an order of protection against you. Reflect upon the past consequences of your amped up anger. Did you write nasty emails, make hostile phone calls, yell at your child, become overly aggressive, or decide to retreat and do nothing?The way to tell if your anger serves you is to always ask yourself the following four questions: 1.Does this anger further my constructive goals? 2.Does this anger further degenerate my relationship with my children? 3.In what ways does this anger help me? 4.In what ways does this anger help my spouse?If your reactions are based upon what has been done to you, you can only respond with hatred. When you do this, you give the alienating parent the “upper hand,” because he or she has provoked you to become the hateful person who they are portraying you to be to the children. Don’t let someone else provoke, influence, and therefore control how you behave. You run the risk of actually becoming as miserable and dysfunctional of a person as they’re trying to portray you to your children. When you react with hatred, you not only play into their hands, you’re letting them steer your ship, letting them determine your present and future.When Your Children Come Home, Who do You Want Them to Come Home to? As you read this, you may be on the edge of giving up. You may be starting to feel that nothing can work against your former spouse’s devotion to destroy your relationship with your children. Even though you may be physically invisible to your children, you will always be visible to them through stories, gossip and second hand reporting from all sources. When we lose a loved one, we often decide to live the way that the departed person would have wanted us to. In the same spirit, when you lose a child to alienation, you need to live as if he or she is watching you. Your long term goal is to become the person your child wants to come home to.
Parental alienation is when one parent manipulates a child to have a less than favourable opinion of the other parent. This could lead to the child rejecting the other parent outright.
This is a widespread issue that occurs in this community because narcissists commonly seek to punish their ex-partner by using their own child against them. It is a very cruel and effective tool.
And what is so frustrating and devastating in these instances, is that the narcissist does not wish to collaborate and work for the best interests of the child.
Instead, he or she is more likely to try to discredit you and use the children as pawns against you.
Also what is true about narcissists is the more that you try to engage them to get sanity, teamwork and decency (even concerning your children) the more they will use your contact against you to hook, bait and trigger you. This hands them the significance of knowing that they have the power to hurt you.
It is for this reason that the concept of Parallel Parenting is far more effective and better for you and the children.
For further resources on parallel parenting –
How To Parallel Parenting Works – https://www.facebook.com/137377772251/videos/1668844393279177
Parallel Parenting The Evolutionary Way To Co-Parent With A Narcissist – https://bit.ly/2ZjbVyU
What To Do If You Are Alienated From Your Child – https://bit.ly/3a00DFz
Please know my heart goes out to you and your child/ren.
Much love to you all xo ❤️
Ya wanna know how the allied narcissistic parent most powerfully controls the child – the contingent application and withdrawal of love.
If you don’t do what pleases me, I won’t love you anymore. It’s a loyalty thing. The allied narcissistic parent demands the child’s loyalty in completely rejecting the other parent.
Can you see the parallel process? Can you see what happened to Jeff Sessions and Bill Barr – absolute loyalty is demanded or else you’re rejected – not just by the primary case – by the surrounding flying monkeys too – who attack you for being a RINO – gatekeeping what it means to be Republican – the “radicalization” of the Republican party.
Targeted parents… how many of you are familiar with your ex’s “alternative facts” that are simply lies? Sound familiar? Same pathology.
The cult-mind won’t be able to see – the shared delusion cannot see itself, it is neurologically impossible (that’s what makes it a delusion). For those who can see, use the example to learn the features of the pathogen.
It lies – not some of the time, all of the time. It attacks threats of exposure with lies and slander. It levies false allegations of abuse. It is delusional – a shared persecutory delusion – ICD-10 F24.
It’s supposed to be a rare pathology – not so rare, I guess. Just not diagnosed because that would typically be considered rude… but in this case, for child abuse and the overthrow of American democracy, I’ll make an exception – a shared persecutory delusion.
ICD-10 F24. A real thing.
It’s a thought disorder created by unresolved trauma that leads to distortions to thought and perceptions. The type of thought disorder is called a delusion – a fixed and false belief that is maintained despite contrary evidence. The type of delusion is called a persecutory delusion, a false belief in supposed “victimization.”
This is not political – many-many Republicans have said that the party left them – it’s become radicalized to the extreme far-right where they’re gatekeeping Moscow Mitch as not being loyal enough.
Just like with the allied parent and child, it’s not about truth, it’s about loyalty – the narcissist DEMANDS absolute loyalty – from Sessions, from Barr, from the child. Disobedience from the control of the narcissistic parent… will be punished.
I love you ONLY if you submit to me… yikes, creepy. Yeah, I know… it’s a ripple.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857
Pain is the point of parental alienation. #Erased #
It’s the whole point. It’s the reason parental alienation exists. You could say its parental alienation’s reason for being, because that’s exactly what it is. Intense pain aimed at parents like us who love our children more than anything in the world by turning our children against us … is the aim of the alienating parent. It has nothing to do with protecting our children from us or because we aren’t good parents or caring parents or loving parents. Instead, it’s because we are good, caring, and loving parents that our children are tricked into thinking we are evil, forced to reject us, and made to believe they are supposed to hate us. Making us suffer in the worst way possible is the entire mission of the alienating parent, and yet this would never be possible if we weren’t passionate about our children and didn’t have wonderful relationships with them. Poor parents, even mediocre parents, are seldom targets of parental alienation because they can’t be made to suffer enough to make it worth the time, trouble, or risk for the alienating parent to force such a sick twisting-of-mind onto trusting and loving children. You can’t make a child reject a parent they don’t like and you can’t make a parent suffer the loss of a child they don’t care about. And so, by definition, we are targeted parents because we are awesome parents and the pain we suffer from losing our children is precisely what the alienating parent wants. And that’s sick. When we lose a child to parental alienation; that is, when we lose a child to the heinous manipulating, pillaging, and plundering of an innocent mind for the sole purpose of causing us pain, to say our world “changes” doesn’t quite say it all. It doesn’t quite get at the experience of being dropped onto a different planet as different people with very, very different children. It can’t describe this experience because our world doesn’t change so much as it vanishes and the world we suddenly find ourselves in is nothing like the one we used to know. We’re cut off from that world and trapped in an eerily different one similar only in that it still holds echos of the children we used to know who lived in that world with us. But only echoes. Because, even though it may seem as though our children are still with us in our world, they’re not. They’re not the same children. Something has happened to them. Something terrible. And in a manner that can only be described as nightmarish and surreal, the children we cradled, read to, sat up with all night, walked to school, drove to games, and gave everything in our lives for so we could be part of everything in their lives are gone from our world, and we’re alone in a deserted and desolate world that seems to be growing more deserted and desolate each day. But only to us. Not to anyone else. No one else sees this nightmare we’re living. To the people around us nothing seems different or wrong or strange. Except us. And nothing we do seems to make any difference. The world of the targeted parent is a lonely and heartbroken world, which, while remaining lonely and heartbroken for us seems to remain unknown and invisible to almost everyone else. And this crisis we’re now living of being cut off from our children while also being cut off from the people we thought would help us through our crisis, becomes even more heartbreaking when it’s our own family that doesn’t get what’s happening in our lives – that doesn’t understand the hardship we’re facing of having to watch our children change before our eyes while falling away from our lives. And yet, as painful and as heartbreaking as this rejection seems to be it’s not an uncommon reaction from people who have never lost children to the heartbreak and rejection that are so much a part of parental alienation. Not at all. In fact it’s pretty much the norm, even if it’s family. The macabre reality of being rejected by our children while also being rejected and abandoned by those people closest to us – the people we call family – at a time when we need our family most, is an impossibly cruel reality to have to live with; and yet it’s an understandable one considering how difficult parental alienation is to understand, on the surface. Because on the surface it makes no sense that a loving child would reject a loving parent and that they would do this in such a shockingly short amount of time … and … that they would do this in the absence of anything that parent has done to cause this rejection. And it makes even less sense that this child could be manipulated or programmed to do this, as is claimed to be the case. And yet that’s exactly what’s happening, hard as that is to believe. Because that’s exactly what parental alienation is, hard as that is to understand. And so I get that this is a lot for people to accept, especially people who have never experienced the chaos and confusion that are so much a part of this family catastrophe. I get that it makes no sense that loving children would turn against loving parents almost overnight and leave their lives completely. And I get the skepticism and doubt surrounding the claim that something as severe as the loss of a child can be explained by something as simple as some overzealous character assassination or mean-spirited criticism. I get that none of this makes any sense because it didn’t make any sense to me either, at first, and for the longest time I too thought I had done something to my daughter to make her turn away from me so suddenly and leave my life so permanently. I too thought I had hurt her in some way and just couldn’t remember what it was I had done – which is a very unsettling thought to have to live with. And yet it was the only one that made sense to me, at the time. Because at the time I also believed that only something severe a parent had done to a child could make a child turn away from a parent in this way. And I had a difficult time imagining how anything less than this could account for a child hating a parent so viciously and rejecting that parent so callously. And yet, try as I may, I couldn’t think of what I had done to either of my kids, to cause them to act this way toward me. Instead, and as is the case with most alienated parents, just the opposite is true: I’ve always tried to be a good parent to my children, we’ve always had very open communication between us, and we’ve always been very, very close.And so this was all very, very puzzling and I was very, very confused and none of it was making any sense to me, at all. one day i was my daughter best friend and the next she doesnt have to do a thing i say, no respect is shown as before .. something begins to change .. sadly many parents mistake the early alienating behaviors and normal teenage rebellion until its too late .. parents get trapped into frustration n and at time respond in anger at the lack of respect toward them as their mom i had no idea what i could be doing that was so impossible to be forgiven it wasnt even worth the effort to try …. That is, until I read about parental alienation. And then it made sense. Exact sense. Feature-by-feature sense. Symptom-by-symptom exact sense as if the authors I was reading were writing about the life my daughter, son and I were leading. Because at that point our lives had become mirror images of the lives described by the parental alienation authors in the parental alienation books. In fact we fit the model exactly once you began looking under the surface Because under the surface … underneath what we normally understand as the dynamics of the parent-child bond was not the behavior of a child who had been hurt by a parent but was instead the behavior of a child who was made to believe their parent is worthy of hate. Which is something different. Something much worse. And something much less obvious. And the only way to get to these less-obvious explanations for an alienated child’s behavior is to get beyond settling for answers based on hunches and guesses and personal opinions and instead make a genuine effort to look beyond the surface for facts which accurately describe that behavior. Which is something we do anyway with things that are important to us, such as, say, an untreatable child illness that isn’t given a hopeful outcome. And in cases like this we don’t think twice about getting second opinions, doing more research, and looking further and deeper until we find the answers. And we don’t stop until we find them, especially when so much is at stake. And so it only makes sense that we would do the same thing with something as purposely deceiving as parental alienation, where a child’s well-being is also at stake, and where the parents who are losing their children are pleading with us to take a closer look at what’s happening to their family. Because what’s happening to their family is not what it looks like on the surface. And if there’s one thing we know about parental alienation it’s that it’s not what it looks like on the surface. In fact, much of the history of science is essentially a history of the pitfalls of embracing misconceptions and myths about the world and the successes of embracing facts and truth gathered from going beyond superficial observations and speculations in order to determine actual causes responsible for effects we’re witnessing. And once I began doing this – once I began looking at the facts and truth about parental alienation and was able to match the behaviors described in the literature to the behaviors I was witnessing in my children, I was finally able to understand what was causing their strange and irrational behavior toward me. And then things finally started to make sense. Which was very comforting and quite a relief, at first, to know I wasn’t losing my mind and that I didn’t have to keep grasping in the dark for answers. But it was frightening as well because the answers I found only predicted a dark outcome, especially for a family like ours which fit the parental alienation model perfectly. The cold hard facts about parental alienation are that a parent’s chances of ever reconciling with a child who has been brainwashed and manipulated as profoundly as severely alienated children have are very, very slim. In fact they’re worse than if the parent had actually done something to the child. Which is not a very comforting thing to hear if you’re a parent still trying to figure out why your child left you in the first place. And so, knowing this I almost wished I hadn’t found the answers, at least these answers, and that I was still in the dark like I had been and like my friends and family still were. Or I hoped the experts might be wrong or that my family might be an exception, or that maybe, just maybe, I could reconnect with my children despite the slim chances the experts gave of ever doing this. But these were simply not the case, and it was looking more and more like our family was instead a textbook case of the type of family were severe alienation could happen, most likely would happen, and by all measures was happening. We even fit the manner in how it was happening right down to the uncanny and frightening details: All eight manifestations of parental alienation were spot-on as were the warning signs that could lead to alienation such as a long and contentious custody battle and a history of one parent bad-mouthing the other parent in front of the children. All of which are definite dangerous warning signs as well as being definitely us. But what was even more us, and an even more dangerous warning sign, was that of a parent sharing custody with an ex-spouse who has undying passion to take your children away from you. And that we had in spades. Because – and like with most alienated parents – ever since our divorce, my ex has had nothing less than an insatiable quest to exclude me from my children’s lives no matter what it took, no matter who got in his way, and no matter whether he had grounds to make so many false claims about me. And even though he never had the grounds to do this or evidence to support such claims and was therefore never successful, it still never stopped him from trying. Or expressing the truth of these claims to our children . In fact, his need to control our children and control me , making sure it was known he was incharge that he would deside (a need which seemed to control his motivation to erase me from there lives ) by trying to control which parent our children should live with and which parent they should have in their lives how often they will see them and what they can or can not do with that parent, how often they can call or even think about the other parent , which parent they should be able to love, since our separation. And unfortunately for the kids and me we seemed to have gotten used to his demand for control and that it was easier to allow it and comply with his demands rather then deal with his punishment which was to deny access between the kids and myself mainly my son whom is now 12 . I let him have control in attempt to create peace for my children Which was a mistake – a big mistake. Because this warning sign was not only considered the one most likely to lead to alienation and not only did it seem to be lifted right out of our family, but it was also the one I had ignored all those years thinking nothing could ever come of it, because nothing could ever come between me and my children. Ever. It was unthinkable. I was sure of this. But then I was in denial. Even when the poisoning was so bad that my kids began hating me and wanting me out of their lives, and I began reading about parental alienation and studying the reasons for their hatred as well as seeing the overwhelming symptoms and undeniable similarities between our family and the casebook families, I still denied that parental alienation could be happening to us. that it was my fault that the times i reacted in anger was enough to cause such an extreme desire and certainty to remove me as thier motheri was completely shocked this doesnt happen to good parents that love thier children Maybe to other families, it could happen but not to us, was my thinking at the time. Because we were different, we were close. I was a good parent and my kids were good kids and this was absolutely impossible and completely unthinkable and could never ever happen to us. Right? Wrong. So very wrong. I was so wrong about this and I don’t today know how I could have been or how I could have ignored all these warning signs for so long, except for the fact that never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine something like this happening to my family. Ever. It was an impossible thing to imagine. how could a man that emotionally and physically abuse his family turn them on the one that did everything and still does everything they can to try and protect them to put there needs above my own … Which probably explains why parental alienation is so difficult to understand and why it happens so often and goes undetected almost always. Because, on the surface, it’s seldom obvious that something this sinister is happening to a family, and it’s almost impossible to imagine that it could be happening especially to parents who are so loving and caring and involved in their children’s lives. But then, that’s the point. thats why its hard to understand It’s because we are good, caring, and loving parents that we become targets of someone who is trying to hurt us in this way. Which is the great irony and therefore the great stumbling block for so many who are trying to understand this strange family dynamic. Parental alienation doesn’t happen to bad parents or even mediocre parents. It happens to the best parents. And you don’t have to do anything to cause it except be a good parent. Because good parents are the kind of parents who will suffer the most when their children are gone from their lives. Because turning our children against us by turning us into despicable monsters in their eyes and erasing us from their lives is guaranteed to cause us unthinkable amounts of pain. Which is the point, and which took me a while to grasp, and is still unthinkable to comprehend and impossible for my friends and family to make any sense of.or to fully realize how long it has really been going on. But mostly, it’s just plain horrible to have to live with every day. Because it’s not living. There’s no other way to say it: pain is the point of parental alienation. You could say it’s parental alienation’s reason for being. Because that’s exactly what it is. Pain in its cruelest form…
Child Psychological Abuse
There are four child abuse diagnoses in the DSM-5; Child Physical Abuse (V995.54), Child Sexual Abuse (V995.53), Child Neglect (V995.52), Child Psychological Abuse.
I have personally worked with all four categories of child abuse as the Clinical Director for a three-university assessment and treatment center for children age zero-to-five in the foster care system.
All of these child abuse diagnoses in the DSM-5 are equal in the amount of damage done to the child, they differ only in the type of damage done, not in the severity of the damage done to the child.
Psychological child abuse is devastating, it destroys the child from the inside out.
In the 1960s to 80s physical child abuse began to be recognized and addressed in our professional and cultural surround, but sexual abuse remained a hidden pathology.
In the 1980s to 2000s, child sexual abuse began to be recognized and addressed in our professional and cultural surround, but psychological child abuse remained a hidden pathology.
With the publication of the DSM-5 by the American Psychiatric Association in 2013, Child Psychological Abuse is recognized and is starting to be addressed in our professional and cultural surround.
As a clinical psychologist with trauma and attachment background, in addition to background in delusional and factitious disorders, including background in family systems therapy, personality disorder pathology, and court-involved family conflict pathology… it is my professional opinion that among the top-top current experts in child psychological abuse is Ms. Dorcy Pruter.
She can speak for herself regarding her experience and background, which is substantial, and she will likely deflect the focus from her to where it should rightly be, on the child.
In the professional opinion of Dr. Childress as a clinical psychologist, Ms. Pruter is among the top professionals with expertise in identifying psychological child abuse, and in recovering the child from the effects of complex trauma and psychological child abuse by a parent.
Such is my professional esteem and respect for Ms. Pruter, I have twice co-presented with her at national conventions of high-level professional organizations. First to the AFCC in 2017, where I presented on AB-PA and Ms. Pruter and I jointly presented on the High Road protocol.
I explained the effectiveness of the High Road protocol from a psychological orientation, Ms. Pruter explained the effectiveness of the High Road workshop from a practical perspective. The High Road workshop for recovery of children from complex trauma and child psychological abuse is effective. That is a fact.
In 2019, Ms. Pruter and I co-presented a paper to the American Psychological Association, Division 24 Society for Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology. Our paper was peer-reviewed by the head of Division 24 and she had entirely positive things to say.
In our joint paper to Division 24 of the APA, we presented the High Road single-case ABA clinical research data. The High Road single case ABA data proves with directly applied clinical research methodology of the highest caliber, that the High Road workshop successfully recovers children from complex trauma and psychological child abuse in a matter of a days.
In my opinion as a clinical psychologist, having taught graduate-level courses in research methodology, and having worked on multiple large-scale research projects at UCLA, UCI, and Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles… the High Road workshop is evidenced-based practice in the recovery of children from complex trauma and child abuse. There’s the evidence.
The High Road workshop is the B phase, the second A with all the numbers is the follow-up maintenance care period, the three scales are Affection, Cooperation, Social Involvement – from 1s and 2s at the start of the High Road workshop, to 5s and 6s at the end – a rocket rise to recovery.
The only methodology issue for a single case ABA design is replication. Do it again please, Dorcy. She does. Over and over again. Each time she collects data, and each time she recovers the child – consistently. The High Road workshop protocol is gentle, the kids love it, and it is effective. That is a fact.
Ms. Pruter is the CEO of the Conscious-Copareting Institute. She is available to discuss research collaboration regarding the High Road protocol with any appropriate university affiliated researcher.
Ms. Pruter is a professional family and parenting coach and a businesswoman, she is not a psychologist. She has done her part in creating solutions more than substantially. She has developed an incredibly – remarkably effective – workshop protocol, and she collects outcome data on its effectiveness every single time – she proves it over and over each time with data.
And she’s not a researcher – you are. Ms. Pruter is a professional family and parenting coach of exceptional quality and skill, she is a trained professional family mediator, she is a businesswoman of success and accomplishment, and she is among the top-tier of professional expertise in the recovery of children from complex trauma and child psychological abuse.
Ms. Pruter and the Conscious Co-Parenting Institute are my first referral as a clinical psychologist for the prevention and recovery from child psychological abuse and complex trauma.
You know how critical I am of forensic psychologists for their failure in their ethical obligations to apply the established knowledge of professional psychology, as required by Standard 2.04 of the APA ethics code.
Ms. Pruter is a professional coach and she is not bound by the requirements imposed on a psychologist.
In my professional opinion as a clinical psychologist, Ms. Pruter meets the highest standards of practice relative to Standard 2.04 of the APA ethics code for professional competence. She is not a psychologist – she is a family and parenting coach – and she absolutely knows this pathology with depth and accuracy of applied professional knowledge.
Talk to me, talk to her, you will hear exactly the same thing – we need to protect the child from the psychological abuse of the parent. To do that we need a written treatment plan from the involved mental health people.
To obtain a written treatment plan, we need a diagnosis. To obtain a diagnosis we need an assessment from the involved mental health professionals – a risk assessment for child psychological abuse by the allied parent toward a possible differential diagnosis of a shared persecutory delusion (ICD-10 F24).
Through the Conscious Co-Parenting Institute, Ms. Pruter can also provide attorneys, parents, and the court with professional consultation and expertise on child psychological abuse and solutions to complex trauma within the family.
Ms. Pruter and CCPI are my first referral as a clinical psychologist for prevention of, and recovery from complex trauma and child psychological abuse.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857
From Dr Craig Childress:
“We are family. All of us.
There’s not you and me – there’s us.
The only reason we see you and me instead of family is because we’re insane. True. It comes from our biological-mind (Sapolsky), we do things based on how we’re wired up.
Yet we also have the ability to over-ride the wiring – that’s our amazing adaptability – frontal lobe executive function systems.
We all came from Africa. That’s where we are all from. All of us. All of us are on an unbroken line of ancestors, from our parents to our grandparents, to theirs and theirs, all the way back. We are on an unbroken chain of life.
Many – many – many died in their pixelated journeys through time, they left no progeny, no children. We are not descended from any of those journeys through life. We are directly descended from the ones who survived.
We were one once. We still are. We’re not them and us, we’re family… of African origin, that’s our homeland, all of us. Some of our family maintain their original beautiful hue and features, some of us have become pale and washed out from living up north in the snow and cold. We’re still family, you, me, us, you’re tall, you’re short, you’re in a wheelchair, you’re gay, you’re straight, you’re non-binary, black, white, brown, yellow, purple, plaid, you are an absolutely beautiful child, welcome to the world.
They’re not the enemy – their family. And… they are insane. And… so are we. Them and us, we are both insane, because we see enemies and not family… and because of that we do insanely violent and immensely cruel things to each other – to family.
That’s not right. We shouldn’t do that. We shouldn’t hurt them… and they shouldn’t hurt us. We started in Africa and some of us left, we wandered around a lot and forgot who we are, where we came from.
Then we met each other again, and we got scared. We had lost our connections as family, we didn’t understand. We remained pockets of small family governed by our biological-mind.
Then something changed 10,000 years ago. We began our journey to transformation, out of our biological-mind and into our humanity. It has been an immensely violent, sad, and traumatic journey.
We have reached the end. We are the final generations of the rippling trauma of our transformation, our children will be free of our traumas – they will face their own – but their traumas will be of their own choices and decisions – conscious and aware and handled differently.
We have been insane for so long, the violence and trauma was so vast and deep. It was a long-long journey of much suffering… too much… far too much. Our violence and insanity was out of control.
We’ve spasmed our recovery in the French Revolution (1790s), the Trail of Tears (1850) and the Civil War (1860), and in the Holocaust (1940). We are not so far away, we are still rippling the traumas of those who came before, our parents, their parents, and their’s and their’s.
I’ve watched the change, from Eisenhower and WW-II that I ripple, to Obama and Trump that are rippling our traumas still, our fears.
Our children are watching, are children are being traumatized in their childhoods, by economic uncertainty, a pandemic society of social isolation and fear, and social unrest and injustice.
We have two old-guys running to lead America. I remember both from their entire histories. I predate both in my cultural history, I’m Kennedy and Johnson, they’re 1980s and 90s. They’re both old as dirt, they are from a different era, a different time.
They all are, all of our leaders are old. That needs to change, and I suspect it will change once we clear pandemic. There is immense motivation for change, from our children, to create something better – for them – which is their absolute right.
I support their voice for change – we need to do a lot about providing economic opportunity for them… for our children. We need to do a lot about providing them with a safe, affordable, and top-tier education… for our children. We need to do a lot to ensure that our children have affordable healthcare for themselves and their families… for our children.
These are not “them” – they are family – our brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, cousins, grandparents, and our children… most importantly our children – not your children and my children – our children – we’re family… we are not enemies. You are simply insane. That’s okay, we’re still family… with an insane member, you, who simply needs some compassionate help to find sanity again. You’re still not my enemy, you’re just my crazy uncle Joe, or crazy aunt Mable.
First thing… stop being so mean. Social skills, you learned those in preschool. Use them. Second thing… stop shooting people. Everyone, stop it. Holy cow, everyone thinks that’s okay… no… it’s not. Stop shooting people.
“What if they’re a bad guy and they want to take my stuff and hurt me?” That’s crazy Bob, he’s the son of Mary and Joseph, no don’t shoot him, he’s family, let’s get him some help. Don’t kill him… let’s get him some help, he’s family and he’s having a hard time.
Stop shooting people.
“What about Nazis in WW-II, can we shoot them?” First off, there shouldn’t be Nazis, that should be a DSM-5.1 disorder; Pathological Anger and Pathological Violence. That should be a diagnosable psychiatric condition that receives treatment.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857”
Mom Sues Judge, GAL, Ex for $8M in U.S. Federal CourtConspiracy to Deprive of Due Process & Equal Protection
Aneta Hadzi-Tanovic, leader of the local Illinois Women’s Coalition, has filed an $8 million federal lawsuit against the Family Court judge, Robert Wade Johnson, the GAL, and her ex for conspiring to deprive her of her right to due process and equal protection, as well as for “abuse of process” and “intentional infliction of emotional distress”.
Aneta’s custody nightmare mirrors women’s cases all over the country and world in which Family Court judges disregard substantial negative evidence about the father, and fabricate negative evidence about the mother, in order to justify switching custody to the father.
In Aneta’s case, the judge ignored substantial evidence of physical, psychological and emotional abuse by the father, much of it gathered by police, a forensic interviewer and social services.
Instead of protecting the children, the judge falsely found Aneta to have coached them to report abuse (i.e. alienating), and so is emotionally abusive, despite no evidence supporting that finding. Then he allowed the father to alienate the kids from her to the point that they refuse to talk to her on the phone and are so badly behaved in supervised visitation that she cannot keep a supervisor.
Aneta had a wonderful, loving relationship with her children and believed their disclosures of abuse. She did everything possible to protect them, but now her relationship with them has been destroyed. She has not seen her children in over a year now.
Through her pain, Aneta has managed to gather the strength to hit back by filing this federal lawsuit detailing how the judge and GAL conspired in the taking and alienating of her children.
The U.S. Statute 42 U.S.C. §1983 does not provide for injunctions against state judges, so it will not affect the custody ruling or bring her children back. But Aneta hopes publicity on the injustice she has endured, and especially a win, will help her case moving forward and help expose the injustices women everywhere are being subjected to.
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LAWSUIT COUNTS1. Conspiracy to deprive of due process [42 U.S.C. §1983]2. Conspiracy to deprive of equal protection under the law [42 U.S.C. §1983]3. Abuse of process [intentional tort]4. Intentional infliction of emotional distress [intentional tort]
IN ANETA’S OWN WORDSMy ex has been abusing my children and me for very long time. He filed 6 times to DCFS claiming I am abusing my children, all of which were rejected as unfounded. My children reported that he is forcing them to lie, but nothing has been done about it. I filed a Motion for 604.10(b) Psychological Evaluation and that was denied.
In June 2017, I was forced to sign a 50/50 Allocation Judgment under a threat by the GAL that if I don’t sign it, they will take my kids away. This was all 2 days after the Judge allowed my attorney to withdraw without giving me 21 days to retain new one, all of which is in direct violation of the Illinois Supreme Court Rule 13.
After the divorce, my ex intensified his abuse and my children reported him to social services, school officials, police, DCFS, and even a video-recorded forensic interview was done. Even though all the evidence was against my ex, the police, social services and forensic investigations were all quickly dismissed after the former GAL got involved again into everything.
In court it was all turned against me, with multiple false testimonies by the GAL, and my time was reduced from 50% to supervised visits only. There were periods of 6 months when I didn’t see or even talk to my children at all because my ex and the GAL would not agree to any supervisors. And then when supervisors were finally appointed, my ex would attack one after another for supposedly not doing their job, and they would refuse to do any more supervision.
In the meantime my children went from loving and caring and wanting to spend time with me, to swearing at me, attacking me, and stealing the stuff from my house, which was also why the last 4 supervisors refused come around my children again and supervise visits.
TWC NOTE: If you’d like to join your local coalition, email: email@example.com
I strongly feel a knew I would liberate this dark shadow and I am.
It is with deep love that I do so , for instilled in me was truth and light .
Fear this deep steals health and wealth eventually and all I have said has no resonance within him at all .
I am surrender to any allowance of any one threatening me on any level and don’t vibrate to that energy .
I know it as trauma , fear , brain damage , birthing etc and I am hanging with the knowledge that through intent and belief with a clearing heart I have survived a bedeviled man who will not allow any light past present or future for change challenges his timeline and much more .Silence is the mainstay throughout 4 decades with secrets beyond imagination that must be held 4ever .
Can’t touch that epidemic non gender specific but certainly worthy of healing and balancing or carry for the next decades of life .
No Repeats in this clearing and that certainly adversely affects those who wish to keep me shut up and miserable .
Babies I been laughing and crying .
Grateful to have a bed I can crash in and hopefully grab a bite before I prepare for 2 legal cases with reps above , below , to my right and to my left , I shall be as authentic and unemotional as possible as I ask for a confluence that I may not endanger my health further .
Blessings Welcome .
Deflecting the negatives .
Nap time ✌©❤🐸
Balanced as I listen to 396 HZ Pond. Bodies of Water
Which I need. Releasing some residual from my near pancreatic attack .
Hope I’m catching the type 0’s.
I need to move and hydrate .
Surrendered to the best for the most .©
Blessings & Peace ,
Dona Luna 😘