September 28, 2016 · Shared with PublicBy Judge Michele LowranceI have been a judge on the divorce bench for 16 years, and have watched the wreckage of the corrosive legacy of parental alienation and visitation interference play out over decades. We have no statistics for measuring this group, because the victims are too vast. But the concentric circles include the children, their children and the extended family as well. The declaration of war by one parent on another creates radioactive fallout, which contaminates for generations.The alienating parent treats the target parent like a disease in the child that must be removed. They make the child’s survival contingent upon such removal. So the child must extricate the parent without the privilege of grieving the loss. These are crippling circumstances.I have witnessed impassioned declarations of love for a child by an alienating parent to masquerade the venom he/she feels for the other parent. Parents who do this are not interested in mere control. Their stakes are higher: total annihilation of the target parent’s bond with the child. Little by little, alienation in a divorce case starts to take root. And when it fully takes root, I see the child’s boundaries collapse before my eyes. Soon the child forgets how to protect him or herself, and must align with the alienating parent as if life depends on it — because it does.Perhaps curing this degenerating influence may, in the future, be addressed by therapy. But for now, we can and must do better. I want to tell you how to be proactive in court, and how to fight against the inclination to give up like so many hurt, alienated parents — who are, frankly, not always welcomed in the courts.Why Cases Involving Parent Alienation are so DifficultHere are some reasons these cases are so difficult, and why judges often have no love for them: 1.Combative parents present conflicting stories of “he said / she said,” and make it very difficult to determine who is telling the truth. Often an alienating parent comes to believe what he or she is saying, and their presentation seems authentic. 2.When targeted parents present their side of the case, they are often angry and frustrated — and as a result, they don’t present very well in court. Judges often consider attitude as influential as content. 3.The children often support the alienating parent by telling the judge, their attorney and mental health professionals how they have been treated badly, and of their dislike, for the target parent. The reasoning skills of alienated children are often compromised, as is their ability to choose freely. 4.Alienated children often won’t cooperate with therapeutic intervention, and courts have difficulty enforcing these orders. 5.Judges like to believe that what they do works and it is the right decision. When their decisions don’t work, they often get exasperated with both parties.What You can Do in CourtsDespite these difficulties there is plenty that you can do. Here are some suggestions for handling parental alienation in the courts: 1.Parenting plan orders should be entered as soon as possible. 2.Create an alienation map or chart for the judge, which shows him or her in five minutes what couldn’t be said in five hours. This map should include all missed visits, and a list of all the denigrating phrases made by alienating spouse to the children, including the friends and/or extended family of the hated parent (if they are admissible in evidence). If you know how to make a graph, you can show the increase in missed visits in a very compelling and impactful way. 3.Most judges aren’t warm to the phrase Parent Alienation Syndrome. Instead, ask the judge to please keep an eye open for visitation interference, as the case progresses, and describe for him or her the maligning behavior. 4.Get a court order for parenting therapy as soon as possible. 5.If orders are violated, go to court on a Rule To Show Cause for violation of the order as soon as possible. If you can’t afford an attorney, then do this yourself. Write petition for rule, for visitation violation, for family therapy, or for makeup visitation.You may be among the many alienated parents I have known, who have grown weary due to the repetitive stress fracture on your heart. Each time your visitation is interfered with, it has a cumulative affect. This can make you hyper sensitive, which easily magnifies your emotional response.Because your emotions are flooding your ability to reason, writing and rewriting a petition with your attorney is a rational thing to do and gives your thoughts “breathing time.” If you immediately act upon your anger, you are just going to make things worse — and perhaps run the risk that the other parent will get an order of protection against you. Reflect upon the past consequences of your amped up anger. Did you write nasty emails, make hostile phone calls, yell at your child, become overly aggressive, or decide to retreat and do nothing?The way to tell if your anger serves you is to always ask yourself the following four questions: 1.Does this anger further my constructive goals? 2.Does this anger further degenerate my relationship with my children? 3.In what ways does this anger help me? 4.In what ways does this anger help my spouse?If your reactions are based upon what has been done to you, you can only respond with hatred. When you do this, you give the alienating parent the “upper hand,” because he or she has provoked you to become the hateful person who they are portraying you to be to the children. Don’t let someone else provoke, influence, and therefore control how you behave. You run the risk of actually becoming as miserable and dysfunctional of a person as they’re trying to portray you to your children. When you react with hatred, you not only play into their hands, you’re letting them steer your ship, letting them determine your present and future.When Your Children Come Home, Who do You Want Them to Come Home to? As you read this, you may be on the edge of giving up. You may be starting to feel that nothing can work against your former spouse’s devotion to destroy your relationship with your children. Even though you may be physically invisible to your children, you will always be visible to them through stories, gossip and second hand reporting from all sources. When we lose a loved one, we often decide to live the way that the departed person would have wanted us to. In the same spirit, when you lose a child to alienation, you need to live as if he or she is watching you. Your long term goal is to become the person your child wants to come home to.
Morgan Griffith represents my area of the country in the House of Representatives
This letter was written by conservative, retired Patrick County Judge Martin Clark:
A letter to Morgan Griffith, my congressman:
I am a Barry Goldwater/Bill Buckley conservative. Deana and I have voted for you many times, and she’s sent you modest contributions in the past. I was not enthusiastic about either candidate in the recent election. I described it as a choice between Caligula and Mr. Magoo. That said, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris won, and this was a free and fair election.
As a conservative and a judge, I trust the states and my brothers and sisters on the bench to resolve election disputes, not you. That’s what the Constitution mandates. And courts across this country, both state and federal, with judges from every political background, have repeatedly ruled on the merits that this was a free, fair and accurate election. Let me say that again, because I actually read the decisions: Courts have ruled on the merits. (See, e. g., Judge Russell’s thirty-four-page, one-hundred-and-seventy-seven-paragraph Nevada opinion in Jesse Law, et als. or Judge Bibas’s lengthy opinion for the Third Circuit in the Pennsylvania case of Donald J. Trump for President et als. v. Secretary of Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, et als. ) The President’s oft-repeated statement that courts—often controlled by his own nominees—have never given him a proper hearing and/or dismissed his claims on purely technical grounds is an outright lie. Courts have considered and dismissed any number of legal, factual and Constitutional arguments.
Of course, it’s also difficult for courts to decide the more outlandish, crackpot accusations of election fraud when the President’s attorney, Rudy Giuliani, fails to produce ANY evidence in court, before a judge, at a hearing set for just that purpose, but instead tells Pennsylvania’s Judge Brann that the campaign “doesn’t plead fraud . . . . This isn’t a fraud case.”
Your feckless, self-serving actions in Congress have given vitality to a dreadful lie, and in doing so, you have damaged a bedrock institution in our country, the court system. Your failure to accept state-certified, judicially determined electors is an attack on the integrity of every man and woman who serves as a jurist. Succinctly put, you have invited people to disregard the rule of law simply because they disagree with it. We got a nice dose of that yesterday in Washington. I am ashamed of you.
People believe you and respect you, so you and your political co-conspirators can convince good folks, my friends and neighbors, that Donald Trump caught a raw deal in a crooked court system and they need to rebel against this injustice. You have thrown judges and hard-working election officials under the bus to serve your own purposes. I’ve known you for years, and we’ve tried cases together. You are a legal scholar and a smart man, and you have to know that the president’s legal arguments are wholly without merit, just a sad concoction of falsehoods and desperate gibberish. The fact you know better makes your recent conduct that much more disappointing.
As an aside, the Republican United States Attorney General, the Republican governors of Arizona and Georgia, hundreds of bipartisan local election officials, and the President’s handpicked leaders of the CIA, FBI and cyber security have all announced his many claims of election fraud are not true. Even his loyal Vice President has refused to follow him down the destructive path you chose.
You will be lauded and celebrated here in our county. Your seat is forever safe given the politics of this region. Yet, the sad truth is you have aided and abetted an attack on the court system, honest election officials, states’ rights and our republic. You are no conservative, Morgan, just another peacocking politician drumming up attention, votes and money based on convenient falsehoods. Keep an eye on the Blue Ridge District next election. You’ll win, but there’ll be two write-ins for Conor Lamb.
“Incredibly, Denmark has become only the 12th country in Europe to recognise sex without consent as rape, although momentum for change is building in other countries to amend their laws.
Rape in Denmark is hugely under-reported and even when women do go to the police, the chances of prosecution or conviction are very slim.
Every year, 11,400 women in Denmark are subjected to rape or attempted rape, according to the Danish Ministry of Justice. The University of Southern Denmark’s research estimates that this figure may have been as high as 24,000 in 2017. However, in 2019 just 1,017 rapes were reported to the police and only 79 resulted in convictions.
I have been subjected to low energy via an eviction last Tuesday , having beloveds do all they could to help me salvage what I wanted to hold and have given away all my furniture and all I could as they tirelessly packed me up .
My critical state of health has been documented and ignored to such a degree that denies logic or humanity as I am again targeted by folks who need to discredit me in relief of covering up their own abuses and toxic spaces .
It was ruled in court without my knowledge when I was too ill to attend and experiencing high trauma that my pay could be garnished and it was today .
So I’m homeless and have to funds to live on .
This is cruel as the matter doesn’t come to court until fall, months away .
I do understand the intent to discredit me and take all they can as its been the pattern of former .
It is Domestic Abuse on high and yes it’s rocked me yo my very foundation.
More test today and confirmation of critical health and I have determined and am supported to see this thru .
28 million people face this
I am aware of the flow that highlights this bottomfeeding and how much I can lean in to opening this up for folks to understand the complexity and gravity of abuse of physical via language , actions and non acts .
The reality of this low vibration 3D energy not existing much longer , not having a place in our New Earth has concerned me for an intense 15 years .
As discussed in this article I no longer feel responsible or wacky because I’m not heard and abuses continue which only highlight the authentic truths .
Legal is very excited about this situation as our Gov pleads for non evictions yet I have not found recourse within court , yet .
I have filed a complaint of my own for my losses and fully expect to be heard and respected as I stand for truths that cannot be denied .
And so as I do all I can to exit this matrix of abuse in extreme tower situations I accept I am thrust into serving many others who are unable to do so .
Much more is going on and yes I am trying to eat and rest self care which is dicey as my things are hanging out safely in 3 locations including my bought ahead necessary thyroid etc .
Prayers to each of these days that you are safe and sound and grasping the higher road is the truth and the light .
Blessings & Peace
Dona Luna 🐸😂🏡
Immensely powerful energy shifts
are happening, and this is truly
the splitting of the corn from the chaff.
It is going to challenge you,
to keep walking the Highest Dimensional Path, and not look back who is following, who is with you or not, whom you are leaving behind. It is none of your business, and all your attention and
focus now needs to be fully PRESENT with every single step you take into the total unknown, unexplored and as yet the New Golden Age, manifesting into from.
The LAW OF FREE WILL AND CHOICE and the LAW OF RESPONSIBILITY, is now coming the fore, and making itself shown: –
Know that every soul has free will and choice. If you choose the Highest Path, know there are others who will not and these may well be those closest to you and dearest to you. You may not piggyback them. Let them go.
They have free will and choice.
They can choose to wake up and walk the path with you or not. Some just will not choose to walk the path because they refuse to change, or cling onto the old life and old existence and the Old Earth, which in truth exists no more! Therein lie the own soul lessons in mastery.
You cannot take on their lessons.
You will need all your energy, attention and focus now on the new path unfolding, and it is going to bring a sense of wonder and awe, and with it a totally new existence!
The Law of Responsibility clearly states that every soul is
responsible for every single
choice, decision they make and for whatever they create.
Remember this. If you choose
the highest paths, you will find that some souls just cannot or will not walk that path with you. For the highest path demands a total surrender for the ego, and a deep surrendering to step ever higher into the Soul Purpose and Mission, and the much Higher Form of Life and living. Yet, therein lie blessings and miracles waiting to unfold, you could never experience on the lower paths!You will always attract souls who are on the same wavelength and frequency band as you are, and who will become your new soul family, as you co-create the New Golden Age together. And it will be in Unity, and with great love and devotion.Remember too,
that other souls will not. There lies their free will and choice.
Let go of all attachments,
of all which is trying to keep
you stuck in the 3D. Surrender.
At this time, you will be reminded of those attachments, cords, hooks, ties, and whatever else is still there for you to release.
Yet, know that with every release, something new is born within you, and with every step you will find something new to marvel about, to stand in awe and wonder about, as you now walk in multi-dimensions and claim
your true Cosmic Heritage as
your soul expands and remembers and co-creates more and more.
Judith Kusel ❤
I can testify to this , and am doing my best to get these facts out there .
Evaluations of 26 people by Physicians for Human Rights provides first in-depth look at policy’s psychological impact
— Read on www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/feb/25/trump-family-separations-children-torture-psychology
It’s all there , it’s very stark, but no more lies, no more riddle me this BS , no more
target, no more thievery of any sort , the facts for our children and theirs .
Ending this generational , currently epidemic, that affects too many families ..
Todays verdict against Henry Weinstein, is a victory for all, and a huge move
forward to ending this Domestic Abuse that’s upheld by the top.
Peace & Blessings
Within the vast catalogue of toxic behavior, triangulation is amongst the most well-known. It is very common, especially among narcissistically inclined
— Read on blogs.psychcentral.com/psychology-self/2019/10/triangulation-and-narcissism/
Much of her experience rings true , similar traits do show up..
Rejection of myself , our 1st pregnancy , projection of Blame and Shame
only 3 months in a marriage . Horrific birthing support and rape
and trauma and fear , compliance in my awareness that though he was
not happy, nor pleased , what was his was his….and indeed it became worse
and very natural for his exit to salvage himself in all ways 1st . Greed
and power are covenants that prohibit equality , normalcy , partnership
and a healthy foundation for children/grandchildren … Taking anything of
mine, any joy , monies , reputation , foundation etc gives him great joy .
Illness even more so, being his target for over 40 years , a way to get empathy,
sympathy and support from source supply/partner , who made him the man
he is today …peter pan .
,For as long as I can remember I have never been in control. The significant people in my life have controlled me. I have to take some accountability for this, and I do. But I think I never learned…
— Read on medium.com/invisible-illness/lessons-on-losing-oneself-after-being-married-to-a-narcissist-f8111486dfe0
According to documents obtained by Rep. Ted Deutch’s office, more than 4,500 sexual abuse complaints were reported over the past four years
— Read on www.cbsnews.com/news/thousands-of-migrant-children-were-sexually-abused-in-u-s-custody-hhs-docs-say/