Tag: abuse

Mental Health Professionals – Craig Childress Psy.D

Oh my goodness, your mental health people are so awful.

I don’t know how you put up with them. Whenever I talk to them, I wind up whacking ’em on their noggins because they make my head explode. Knuckleheads.

It’s their arrogance that triggers me. I have super-sensitive narcissistic pathology detectors obtained as a regulatory object child for a narcissistic mom.

My nervous system was formed as a regulatory object of exquisite sensitivity. I know when the pathology is present. Put me in contact with the pathology and it’s like a spidey-sense.

I trigger on their arrogance. They are sooo stupid, and yet so arrogant. And… they’re child abusers because they are ignorant and lazy and arrogant. I wanna beat them with a stick.

It’s a very distinctive feeling. “Oh, you must be a narcissist because I want to beat you with a stick for some reason.”

I’m going to have to re-regulate the set point on my narcissism detector now that I’m actually in contact with all your mental health people, dampen it down somehow.

I need to readjust my regulatory systems now that I’m embedded in such abundant narcissism from your mental health people. I can’t have it going off all the time – ring-ring-ring – another one.

I know, I know. They’re all over the place.

I’ll work out some sub-routine of “alternative behaviors” that I’ll go into whenever I trigger. When my spidey-sense tingles I’ll go into my patterned pre-programmed response and that’ll keep me from beating them with a stick for being so stupid.

Honest to god, I don’t know how you put up with them. I’m going after their licenses, but it took me a while to get here. You’ve been here this entire time. Why did you let them keep their licenses?

Oh… that’s right, it wasn’t you. It was those who came before. Okay, I remember the previous waves of divorced parents and exactly – exactly – the same pathology… and exactly the same ignorant and incompetent psychology people. The same people who are now destroying your lives.

The previous parents left them for you. First, the ignorant and incompetent mental health people destroyed their lives… and they didn’t do anything about it so now they’re destroying yours… and it just goes on and on and on.

I told you way-back early-on in some videos with Dorcy what the plan was. Two things, 1) we’re going after the licenses of the ignorant and incompetent mental health people, and 2) we’re going to activate the APA.

The reason I told you way back then was in case you could do anything with the information, because I knew it would be a few years before I was in the position to solve things.

You couldn’t do anything with the information. They couldn’t. That’s okay, now I’m here, so I’ll do it.

You, well not actually you but the other you-people before you, didn’t do anything with their power. Parents are looking for someone to rescue them (it’s a deep unconscious thing), not realizing you’ve had the ruby slippers the entire time.

But you’re a trauma victim, a spousal abuse victim, a brutal and savage form of spousal abuse using the child as the weapon. You’re not supposed to fix things. The doctors are supposed to know what’s going on, and the doctors are supposed to fix things.

And you have such awful doctors… and you accept that. Not you exactly, they did. the ones that left these exact same awful doctors for you.

That’s okay. If you’re waiting for me to solve everything… okay. I’m almost there. There’s just a little bit more I think and I will be able to solve everything – then I wanna be a goat, because, holy cow, if I single handedly fix the entire family court system – for everyone on the planet – all by myself… goat.

I’ll be dead. So make me a posthumous goat. A goat in the great beyond.

I’m doing some housekeeping now with the PASG professional organization (?), or perhaps it’s just a vanity club. Let’s find out.

But that’s not my focus. I’m going into the heart of darkness. I’m joining the AFCC. I’m taking the ring to Mordor. Wheee…

Hi, I’m Dr. Childress, glad to meet you. What do I do in the family courts? I’m a second opinion review of forensic custody evaluations for violations to ethical standards for competence regarding delusional thought disorders and attachment pathology, and for failure in their duty to protect obligations… what do you do?

Well howdy.

I’m a problem child. It’s called “protest behavior” and it’s designed to INCREASE attention – except in kids in the family courts. For some unexplained reason, the “protest behavior” of kids in the family courts is NOT designed to GET attention, it’s designed to sever parental attention… unlike every other child on the planet.

That’s not how protest behavior in a child works. It IS, however, how spousal anger works in an adult. Spousal anger is designed to sever bonds. Child protest behavior seeks to acquire bonds.

Hmmm, curious. Why would a child display spousal attachment behavior rather than child attachment behavior? Such a puzzlement.

I used to be a cooperative person. Do you know who taught me about protest behavior? Three year olds. When I went early childhood my focus was on preschoolers, 3 and 4 year olds.

I love the 3-year-olds, they’re psychotic. There’s just enough mind there to be present, but not enough regulation yet to control their presence. They can get wild, and holy cow are they good at protest behavior.

Truthfully, I haven’t found more masterful protest behavior than that from 3-year-olds. Very committed.

Protest behavior is designed to call attention to a problem – ow – stop it. Protest behavior is the “stop it” after the “ow”.

Protest behavior is SUPPOSED to be annoying because it’s supposed to get attention and annoying gets attention. The MORE annoying the protest behavior is, the better… because that’s the purpose of protest behavior, to annoy other people to get attention to an issue.

So. Little dude. What’s your problem? Why are you rolling around on the floor like that screaming that horrible blood-curdling scream? “Well, you see Dr. Childress, Billy has my favorite dinosaur and he won’t give it to me. So I’m angry.” Oh, okay. got it.

Except my little-bud doesn’t say it like that, that’s too human-speak and he barely speaks much human. They still speak a lot of monkey-speak, they speak in the language of behavior.

Once I learned to speak three-year-old monkey-speak, they taught me all about being annoying and protest behavior – boy, they can be annoying when they wanna be. Wow, little dude, that’s excellent. So… what’s your problem?

So when I join the AFCC, I wanna make friends and be part of the club. Do you think they’ll like me? But I suspect I’ll be annoying because, well, there’s a problem that needs fixing. That’s the function of protest behavior, to get the needed attention to the problem… and… protest behavior is SUPPOSED to be annoying to do that.

Did Gandhi annoy the British? See.

You can be annoying without becoming a savage human and drinking beer from their skull. I can’t it seems, but you can. You be kind… and be annoying, and kind. Like Gandhi.

I’d recommend you not leave the ignorant mental health people for the next family and next, like the ignorance was left for you. Pick up after yourself. Get yourself a little forensic psychologist scooper picker-upper and clean up the forensic psychologists on your lawn.

Don’t leave the mess just sitting there or else the next parent might step in the same forensic psychologist pile of problems that you did.

Or you can wait.

I’ll be solving things in a while. You can wait. Hey, I’m joining the AFCC. That’s a Cairn, remember? Don’t you remember what happens next? Oh, oh, oh, that’s right, I forgot. You’re traveling the other direction.

That’s okay. I’ll wait. But soon… well, never mind, you’ll see, and then you’ll go “Oh, I see.”

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Delusions – Craig Childress PsyD

To diagnose a delusion… you MUST identify what actual reality is.

A delusion is a fixed and – false – belief. To diagnose a delusional disorder REQUIRES establishing that one reality is true, and one reality is false.

When two realities are too discrepant, both realities cannot be true. One reality is true. One reality is false.

Trump vs Cohen. One of them is telling the truth, and the other one is lying. There is no middle ground of some sort of “misperception” – nope – one is telling the truth and one is lying.

You’re job as the diagnostician of delusional disorders is to identify actual reality from the lies. Can you do it with Trump and Cohen? Which one do you think it telling the truth and which one do you think is lying?

It’s one way or the other, there is no grey in the middle. One reality is true. One reality is a lie.

In the family courts – one reality is correct – the other reality is a lie. Either the child is being authentically abused by the targeted parent, or the child is being psychologically abused by the allied parent.

There is no grey “misperception” – one reality is true – one reality is a lie told to deceive.

If you are going to be a court-involved clinical psychologist, it is your obligation to make the diagnosis of truth and lie – of reality and delusion. That’s your job.

Because that’s required to make a diagnosis of a potential delusional thought disorder, and the pathology of concern is a potential delusional thought disorder.

So should one person decide what’s truth and what’s a lie?

Get a second opinion. Get a third opinion. Get all your second-opinions right at the start – put your combined heads together and decide – which is the truth and which is the lie.

We can make an accurate diagnosis when there’s the motivation to make an accurate diagnosis. They’re not motivated to make an accurate diagnosis.

I wonder why that is?

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Eldest Child Realties

I was not my Mom’s eldest but I was treated that way and expected to do without teaching me how to do them .

Caregivers – I want to share a very interesting and important article with you: The Plight of the Eldest Daughter that appeared recently in The Atlantic. This is not to complain or blame. It is simply true as far as my experience has taught me working with caregivers the past 22 years. So many studies are now exploring how our early years formed who we are as adults. Unfortunately, if there was trauma in our lives – either severe or light – we carry it into adulthood unless we do something to resolve the trauma. Fortunately, we now know we can experience PTG (Post Traumatic Growth) with awareness and a new set of coping skills. Healing is possible. And we all know no one deserves happiness and wellness as much as our cherished caregivers.

The Plight of the Eldest Daughter
Women are expected to be nurturers. Firstborns are expected to be exemplars. Being both is exhausting.

By Sarah Sloat

Being an eldest daughter means frequently feeling like you’re not doing enough, like you’re struggling to maintain a veneer of control, like the entire household relies on your diligence.

At least, that’s what a contingent of oldest sisters has been saying online. Across social-media platforms, they’ve described the stress of feeling accountable for their family’s happiness, the pressure to succeed, and the impression that they aren’t being cared for in the way they care for others. Some are still teens; others have grown up and left home but still feel over-involved and overextended. As one viral tweet put it, “are u happy or are u the oldest sibling and also a girl”? People have even coined a term for this: “eldest-daughter syndrome.”

That “syndrome” does speak to a real social phenomenon, Yang Hu, a professor of global sociology at Lancaster University, in England, told me. In many cultures, oldest siblings as well as daughters of all ages tend to face high expectations from family members—so people playing both parts are especially likely to take on a large share of household responsibilities, and might deal with more stress as a result. But that caregiving tendency isn’t an inevitable quality of eldest daughters; rather, researchers told me, it tends to be imposed by family members who are part of a society that presumes eldest daughters should act a certain way. And the online outpour of grievances reveals how frustratingly inflexible assumptions about family roles can be.

Research suggests some striking differences in the experiences of first- and secondborns. Susan McHale, a family-studies professor emeritus at Penn State University, told me that parents tend to be “focused on getting it right with the first one,” leading them to fixate on their firstborn’s development growing up—their grades, their health, the friends they choose. With their subsequent children, they might be less anxious and feel less need to micromanage, and that can lead to less tension in the parent-child dynamic. On average, American parents experience less conflict with their secondborn than with their first. McHale has found that when firstborns leave home, their relationship with their family tends to improve—and conflict then commonly increases between parents and their younger children, because the spotlight is on them. Birth order can also create a hierarchy: Older siblings are often asked to serve as babysitters, role models, and advice-givers for their younger siblings.

To be clear, birth order doesn’t influence personality itself—but it can influence how your family sees you, Brent Roberts, a psychology professor at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, told me. Eldest kids, for example, aren’t necessarily more responsible than their siblings; instead, they tend to be given more responsibilities because they are older. That role can affect how you understand yourself. Corinna Tucker, a professor emerita at the University of New Hampshire who studies sibling relationships, told me that parents frequently compare their children—“‘This is my athlete’; ‘this is my bookworm’; … ‘so-and-so is going to take care of me when I’m old’”—and kids internalize those statements. But your assigned part might not align with your disposition, Roberts said. People can grow frustrated with the traits expected of them—or of their siblings. When Roberts asks his students what qualities they associate with firstborns, students who are themselves firstborns tend to list off positives like “responsible” and “leadership”; those who aren’t firstborns, he told me, call out “bossy” and “overcontrolling.”

Gender introduces its own influence on family dynamics. Women are usually the “kin keepers,” meaning they perform the often invisible labor of “making sure everybody is happy, conflicts are resolved, and everybody feels paid attention to,” McHale told me. On top of that emotional aid, her research shows, young daughters spend more time, on average, than sons doing chores; the jobs commonly given to boys, such as shoveling snow and mowing the lawn, are irregular and not as urgent.

Research on eldest daughters specifically is limited, but experts told me that considering the pressures foisted on older siblings and on girls and women, occupying both roles isn’t likely to be easy. Tucker put it this way: Women are expected to be nurturers. Firstborns are expected to be exemplars. Trying to be everything for everyone is likely to lead to guilt when some obligations are inevitably unfulfilled.

Of course, these conclusions don’t apply to all families. But so it is with eldest daughters: Although not all of them are naturally conscientious or eager to kin-keep, our cultural understanding of family roles ends up shaping the expectations many feel the need to rise to. The people describing “eldest-daughter syndrome” are probably all deeply different, but talking about what they share might make their burdens feel a little lighter. And the best-case scenario, Alford told me, is that families can start renegotiating what daughtering looks like—which should also take into account what eldest daughters want for themselves.

Sarah Sloat is a writer based in Brooklyn. She covers science and culture.