Stockholm syndrome is a coping mechanism used by many people in toxic and abusive relationships. Instead of feelings of fear, terror, and hostility toward your abuser – which is what you should be experiencing – you may feel a sense of sympathy for them. Your positive feelings toward your abuser are very common and normal when learned helplessness has set in. Subconsciously, you feel you’ve no other choice but to stay with your abuser.
Stockholm syndrome can, and often does, cause targets of abuse to feel as if they’re deeply in love with their abuser.
But, those who have left and started their healing journey soon discover that what they thought was love was a coping mechanism and was the only way they could survive in a dangerous and life-destroying relationship.
If you don’t know how to deal with Stockholm syndrome in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse, it can paralyze you. It sure did me at the beginning of my own journey because I didn’t know how to handle it. But I do now, and I want to help you overcome this awful feeling, too.
Read the article here:
Always thinking of you,
I don’t know who needs to see this, but when you leave an abusive relationship or marriage, this isn’t the only challenge you will face. Once you’ve removed yourself from the vortex of lies and manipulation, you may begin to lose friends and family, as well. Your Church might turn on you. Relationships and situations will fall apart around your ankles.
While this is initially horrific and traumatizing, it’s actually a Phoenix process. You are leaving the realm of false narratives and denial. You are removing yourself from the program. The people and situations that hurt you will have no choice but to slowly disintegrate as you make space for your new world.
This phase may take a while, especially if you have to deal with court hearings. This is usually an entire layer of H*LL in itself.
Think of it as an update to software. The bugs are removed so your internal code can go back to normal. The software is your life, and the bugs are all the things that aren’t in alignment with your highest good.
Once this painful phase begins to acclimate, a quiet peace sets upon you. You are no longer surrounded by abusers, fakes, and ignorance. You are no longer amongst flying monkeys, minions, or fair-weathered “friends” who used to go between you and your abuser, stirring the pot. They may try, but your new reality doesn’t acknowledge them. Ideally, you’ve blocked these people out of your life so that any attempts they make to hook you back into the vortex are met with your indifference or even utter unawareness.
Your tolerance for drama and backbiting is zero. You no longer care what the ignorant are up to.
Things worth doing, things that will transform your life… may feel painful while your new world is being built. This is when you need faith in yourself. Faith in what’s in store. Faith in our Creator. This is when you need to stop looking back and, instead, put all your focus on forging your new path.
I’ve gone through many painful Phoenix processes…but what comes afterward is always worth it. Every. Single. Time.
“Psychiatric practice is too often violating human rights, too often incapable of understanding the suffering of people.”
I read. years ago of a shrink referring to himself as God and I had 3 males that did so. Knowing nothing of the prescriptions they gave out like candy ; dependent on the drug rep for education of RX. Drug rep is educated by pharmaceutical company whose main interest is profit .
A psychiatrist could make an extra 150k per year just writing prescriptions. It’s a very bad matrix to get into . My Dr had Parkinson’s and founded the psychiatric program and was shielded until he retired . Lavish pictures graced his wall of his 4 children and his awesome sail boat .
Leading Psychiatrists Unwittingly Acknowledge Psychiatry Is a Religion, Not a Science
By Bruce Levine, PhD
Leading figures in psychiatry acknowledge that DSM psychiatric diagnoses and the chemical imbalance theory of mental illness are not scientifically valid, but consider them useful fictions that help people manage their emotions and comply with their medication treatments. However, many patients have experienced damage from these constructs, which they see as malevolent fictions. People differ in their opinion on the usefulness or malevolence of all organized religions, and so it should be no surprise that there are differences of opinions about psychiatry.
There is no more ignorance or dismissal of what is. For the last year , it has been intense and anyone who mattered to me deeply has remained as they have been , silent , distant and seemingly enjoying my draining experiences.
I haven’t been in denial as I heard and watched the replays of such distorted mind sets and I grieved at the separation from Christ Conciseness or even humane consideration .
I watched in horror as this transpired in 93 within my family as 1 person has such drive to be happy and step out of any and all responsibilities with as much as possible and I knew in my incapacity as a “ metal patient “ who had not had the support of any family especially the one who vowed to be my partner.
The healing and closure I have sought won’t include anyone from my past or family . As this past year evolved I had “ friends “ and associates who were not authentic and it was a heartbreaking realization to be betrayed so harshly given that they were aware of my past and desire to rise above .
This is especially difficult with regards to children , aware that they have crossed over long ago to shadow and continue to spin in that energy
However if someone continues to hurt or harm , knowing they can and enjoying it , I must allow the enemy their space just not in my space . I’ve been too long preparing and had too many losses to ignore those who feel I belong in lack and negativity
I can’t or won’t walk it back for anyone , of that I am sure .
Someone commented about our “dark night of the soul” in sympathy to my symptoms of exhaustion. I put a check mark and then signed off. Thinking thinking thinking….Am I in a dark night of the soul? I’ve been through a few so I didn’t think so. But maybe this is a dark night. Maybe I was wrong to think this is ascension symptoms and that I’m not being punished but instead this is just part of the lessons to be learned as I ascend. And I thought, “there ought to be a book – Ascension for Dummies” because this is bigger than what my brain can handle. But inside me stirred that feeling of KNOWING. And when that happens I know a fierceness of knowledge is about to pour out of me and onto the page. I’ve seen it happen numerous times in my books across my sixty plus years on this planet. This time would be no different. But as I’m too tired to write ASCENSION FOR DUMMIES, I am not too tired to type this on my phone as I lay in bed shaking with exhaustion from the months of symptoms of ascension. I am not being punished but pushed. I am the bearer of LIGHT. And therefore my journey is heavy and not for the faint of heart. It’s a path that we all signed up for and that is why we are being pounded with the lessons that others cannot bear. We have been strengthened to withstand the lashings of lessons, the whippings from ancestral pasts, the beatings from millennia sweats out of us with our palpitating hearts and sweaty awakenings. Our sleep full of vivid dreams that at one time were really and that we did experience! They feel real because they were real. We care purging out lifetimes of injustice and injuries, no appetite for when we were starving, and fevers for when we were burning up with the inability to take action. Our bodies are REMEMBERING what we are letting go; misery, suffering, starvation, and so much more! Our chakras are being balanced with every breath we take when we are too tired to speak. We are leaving behind lifetimes of illness in order to live again. As we hold more and more light we become the light body of the star seeds of the Universe. The great champions of love who want to help us live our most glorious life! But the 3D experience leaves little room for feeling inspired let alone motivated to do anything but survive. We are too sick and exhausted to DO anything but lie here in bed and bemoan being alive on earth! And I don’t blame you; for this role of ascended being is not for Everyone but a few. YOU. And YOU. And yes, even YOU. You are the chosen one. You are the special one. You are blessed to ascend with the greatest masters of all time across millennia! So when you’re too exhausted to brush your teeth or do more than complain about your dark night, remember this; EYES WIDE OPEN MY BELOVED, YOU ARE THE FUTURE, you hold the entire UNIVERSE in the palm of your hand. THAT is how important you are to this work of lighting the earth. That is why your mission is so fraught with obstacles and challenges. Because it is so important and so are YOU. And YOU can do hard things! For this is not a “dark night if the soul” but a reckoning of cataclysmic and universal blessings bestowed upon your ancestral head. Bear the blessings as a badge of honor. You are loved beyond measure. We are so proud of you and it is a privilege to serve you for humanity’s sake rests upon your shoulders. April Beam 💜 Aspire Nation 💜
The war never ended from her possession of her son . I gave up after years of trying ; once sitting with her and stating that it was ok if she didn’t care for me , that we could have some semblance of a relationship. She replied ” as a Christian, I’ve never met anyone that I didn’t like ” .
I understood her from that point on and witnessed her get hands on and loving towards our sons when someone was watching .
She was abusive to me openly and it was witnessed and he said nothing in my defense for it was very uncalled for .
I watched her smack at her 90 year old Mother’s hands for getting flour on the floor when making biscuits!
I believe her eldest children experienced a lot of trauma at her hands and he alluded to my having no idea .
I believe he found his Dad weak to her as she called him Mr _____ and he allowed her to rule . As he faded out , she lamented the place’s they would not be able to travel and her health challenges but how she couldn’t do her thing for taking care of him . His obit declared her a Daughter of the Eastern Star and he a 32nd degree Mason which I was unaware of ! Why the secret ?
She talked so sweetly to her daughters and never once had that tone with me .
Inviting her and sister in law to cook outs at our home stopped when the 4 huddled in one area as if too good to mingle with my parents.
My Mom’s Mom died close to Thanksgiving and we were eating at her house and as she said the prayer my Mom began to cry and had to leave the table , which was met with shame from her and I was so stunned I just sat there .
So as his partner and confidant I was used as leverage and as his ” crazy” drugged and vulnerable wife whom he just offered was sick or didn’t want to attend a family function , when he was ready to jump in with the new supply, she was totally supportive and our sons became possessions that could not betray her or their Dad by being in anyway supportive or compassionate toward me .
Mother in laws , aunts and wives have assumed the mother toll, discouraging any healing or connection with me as they admire her wealth and longevity. She is quite an artist and I’ve been told of her abuse towards our sons that was uncalled for .
I’m sure she feels she has a place in Heaven but to me she is demonic and hides under her know it all attitude and money/power .
I long ago allowed her to know I was not impressed and found the bond between she and her son unholy . He’s attached to her so deeply and it proved to destroy his relationship with his twin , another 20 years of leveraging a woman to get Mom’s favor and execute her finances !
God only knows what he’s pocketed , for anything he touches and wants belongs to him .
What a house of cards !!!
Mother In Law – Ted Talks
Associated Clinical Sign 4: Parental Replacement
If a child starts calling a parent by the parent’s first name, this is a symptom of the absence of empathy for the child by the allied parent regarding the important role and person the mother or father is to a child.
Moms are always “mom” and dads are always “dad” because that’s how the child sees the world. To call the parent by their first name is to kill the parent for the child.
Empathy for the child does not do that. Spousal anger does that for revenge.
The symptom of ACS-4 is nearly (is) 100% diagnostic for the pathology – it never occurs anywhere… except here in the family courts.
It’s having the child kill their own parent. It’s a symptom of cruelty, an absence of empathy and understanding for the child – moms are always “mom” – dads are always “dad.” The child only has one of each.
Another variant of ACS-4 Parental Replacement that occasionally displays is when the child begins to call the new step-parent of the narcissistic parent “mom” or “dad.” This is the replacement proper – because people are expendable.
ACS 4: Parental Replacement is not always present, but when it is, it is nearly (is) 100% diagnostic of the pathology. One parent, the allied parent, is having the child kill the other parent – the cruelty and absence of empathy for the child is phenomenal.
Child abuse is the failure of empathy, and the failure of parental empathy IS child abuse – they are flip sides of the same coin.
From Moor & Silvern: “The act of child abuse by parents is viewed in itself as an outgrowth of parental failure of empathy and a narcissistic stance towards one’s own children. Deficiency of empathic responsiveness prevents such self-centered parents from comprehending the impact of their acts, and in combination with their fragility and need for self-stabilization, predisposes them to exploit children in this way.” (Moor & Silvern, 2006, p. 95)
From Moor & Silvern:“Only insofar as parents fail in their capacity for empathic attunement and responsiveness can they objectify their children, consider them narcissistic extensions of themselves, and abuse them. It is the parents’ view of their children as vehicles for satisfaction of their own needs, accompanied by the simultaneous disregard for those of the child, that make the victimization possible.” (Moor & Silvern, 2006, p. 104)
Moor, A. and Silvern, L. (2006). Identifying pathways linking child abuse to psychological outcome: The mediating role of perceived parental failure of empathy. Journal of Emotional Abuse, 6, 91-112.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857