Dating and relationships are much different now than they used to be. Now, we must be discerning and evaluate people before allowing them to be part of our life. Love at first sight is a thing of the past, thanks to this era of social media and peoples’ attention spans being the same as a goldfish (that’s actually been scientifically proven). So, what this means for us is that we can no longer go on two or three dates with someone and try to form an instant relationship or plan a future with someone we barely know. Or try to form a deep friendship with that coworker because we went to lunch with them a couple of times. We need boundaries and self-protection more than ever. Most of the people we meet are not compatible with what we want from our close relationships. Because we feel connected with someone after a few dates does not, in any way, mean that they feel the same way. Because you may be intimate with them does NOT mean they are planning a future with you or intend to be exclusive. Don’t go all in with someone you’ve seen a couple of times just because of the excitement and butterflies. Life is not a Disney movie…we need to be choosy about who we allow into our sacred space.
He cleans up after himself. He cleans up the planet. He is a role model for young men. He is rigorously honest and fiercely optimistic.
He holds himself accountable. He knows what he feels. He knows how to cry and he lets it go. He knows how to rage without hurting others. He knows how to fear and how to keep moving. He seeks self-mastery.
He has let go of childish shame. He feels guilty when he’s done something wrong. He is kind to men, kind to women, kind to children. He teaches others how to be kind. He says he’s sorry.
He stopped blaming women or his parents or men for his pain years ago. He stopped letting his defenses ruin his relationships. He stopped letting his penis run his life. He has enough self-respect to tell the truth. He creates intimacy and trust with his actions. He has men that he trusts and that he turns to for support. He knows how to roll with it. He knows how to make it happen. He is disciplined when he needs to be. He is flexible when he needs to be. He knows how to listen from the core of his being.
He’s not afraid to get dirty. He’s ready to confront his own limitations. He has high expectations for himself and for those he connects with. He looks for ways to serve others. He knows he is an individual. He knows that we are all one. He knows he is an animal and a part of nature. He knows his spirit and his connection to something greater.
He knows that the future generations are watching his actions. He builds communities where people are respected and valued. He takes responsibility for himself and is also willing to be his brother’s keeper.
He knows his higher purpose. He loves with fierceness. He laughs with abandon, because he gets the joke.
This is the Mature Masculine – the New Warrior – a re-definition of masculinity for the 21st century. By no means is this list complete. You are welcome to come and add your gifts to this community. –Boysen Hodgson http://www.mkp.org
There is an abundance of people who wish to connect with us. We have more dance partners than we might ever imagine possible. We can never be lonely on a planet with billions of people. But we have to let them in…. If we close our heart, we create barriers to relationships, to loving experiences and indeed encounters. Our disconnect with others mirrors a disconnect with ourselves. Our lack of dance partners reflects back to us the feeling of lack we hold about ourselves. If we believe we are lacking we will draw to us that which is lacking. If we believe we are not worthy we will make this a reality in our life too. Because we are powerful magnets. We are magnets of attraction. And, believe it or not, what we can conceive of we can bring into our lives. If we want loving people to enter into our lives we need to become that person we wish to connect with. So how do we want to be and what sort of person do we want to draw into our experience as the social being that we are? Clearly, if we are gentle with ourselves we will attract those who are also gentle with us. Likewise, if we accept ourselves for who we are then we will bring into our consciousness those who will accept us also. If we stop harsh judgment of ourselves we will draw in those who will not judge us. To the measure we hold a belief about ourselves is the measure of who we will bring into our lives. When our conscious thoughts are loving towards ourselves we then open the door to attract that which we are. A lacking sort of person will bring in those who lack. But those who feel wholesome will draw into their lives those who are also whole.
The New Sacred Masculine Revolution PART I There are a group of men on this planet who are preparing to explode all previously-held notions of what ‘being a man on Earth’ means. These men are being contacted by supreme forces of destined evolution for our planet. Most of them have been treading a gently-opening path of growth and change for many years. They are aware that they are ‘different’ at a core level. They are hyper-aware that they do not seem to fit into established or traditional roles, inhabited by their own fathers, and forefathers.In many ways, these men have been standing alone since childhood. These are men that have always been vibrating at a deep level of higher consciousness, but they have not always been able to see it that way. Early on in this lifetime, they were born with a new directive that began ‘awakening’ them right from the beginning. These men have always been conscious that they were different. They were conscious of being pulled in directions that they did not fully understand, but being only shown one way of living ‘as a man’, continued to mould themselves into roles and relationships that were prescribed for them by culture and society. These men always wanted to succeed. They always wanted to live up to their potential as potent wands of creative energy. They knew they had engines full of power and intelligence, fuelled up and ready to drive them into a purposeful life in the world. Some of them lived from this source of energy and power with recognisable success, and this was something that they could proudly tell their fathers. For a few moments, they could relax and know that their father approved of them; they were a ‘good boy’, a worthy man. This gave them a few more years of oxygen, a few more years of capability to keep being alive, despite the gnawing ache in their bones, the growing psychic sensitivity to being out in the ‘normal’ world, the inability to move with the herd, and feel satisfied with what all other men seemed to be content with. Some of these men have never felt a sense of being a success. Some of them were so sensitive, so spiritually-anchored even from birth, that they ‘failed’ to reach the established societal goalposts almost from the beginning. Feeling an almost intangible alienation from everything they saw their friends, brothers, fathers, uncles and even admired role-models doing…some of these men may even have ‘dropped out’ of the net, sabotaged their own inner creative fire, numbed themselves to their spiritual acuity and extreme sensitivity. Obviously, many of the routes to doing this ‘dropping out’ involve what can become addictive behaviours; drugs & alcohol, non-emotionally or spiritually present sex, over-working or refusing to work, hiding and numbing within relationships or marriages that are not growth-inspired. Most of these men – these actual pioneers of a new chapter in masculine energy evolution – have veered in-between these two extreme states. None of them have ever found what their deepest Soul-knowing would describe as ‘home’. The New Age has arrived, and with it, some tolerable life-choice options for men like this who do not fit into the old patterns. Being ‘on a spiritual path’ has become a theme that can give some of these men permission to go and ‘just be’; to find themselves and escape the toxicity, the unbearable noise, the cacophony of voices that scream at them daily to achieve, conquer, strengthen, make money and more money no matter what human & natural destruction ensues, to dominate with ruthlessness and no heart, to crush all that lies in the way of owning everything at the expense of everyone. No wonder they crave escape and a sunshine-covered beach full of the feminine-energy of Nature. Or a cave, where hermit-like, they sit and commune with the Divine: the higher freedoms of their lifelong-depleted spirits. No wonder they run for the hills, maybe even rejecting intimate relationships and sexual interaction, in the name of pursuing God, of pursuing a Real Objective, of pursuing their Hearts. These men need a time-out from all this pressure to be what they never were in the first place.They need a time-out from their father’s voice in their head.They need to detox, to recover, to re-align.They need to be….alone.And yet in the nothingness, in the aloneness, in the silence, in the playful immersion into nature, in the blissful escape – in whatever form it takes in their lives – these men have come to feel that their existential restlessness – the one they have had since childhood – has not been alleviated. In fact, it may have even increased in recent months and weeks.There is something that they must do. Something that they must embody, rise up to, explode through, penetrate, seed creative potential to. It involves their Hearts, they know that much, because their hearts are on fire with….what is it? Is it passion? Is it desire? Is it urgency? Is it Love? It involves their Spirits, they know that much, because recently there has been such a Call to Spirit, so much synchronicity, so much divine alignment in their lives…it is definitely Spirit moving.Are they capable of taking this risk, this jump?Right into the heart of their beautiful, mighty, pulsating Soul’s Mission? Their minds do not know what to do. Nothing is being laid out or revealed as concrete evidence. There are no guarantees, and whatever it is that is leading these men is so far away from the landscape of what their father has ever risked his heart or reputation for, that it almost makes these men want to curl up and die. Just stay in the comfort zone forever – even if that comfort zone looks like a New Age paradise. What these men may, or may not, know – is that the Goddess pantheon is with them, so deeply, so profoundly, so revolutionarily, that they will not have to wonder about the pros and cons of taking a risk on themselves for much longer. All of these men who will resonate with the energy of these words have been touched by the Hand of the Goddess, and the resurrection of High Feminine consciousness. Some of these men have been re-initiated into the ancient temples of the divine feminine and ignited into new active sacred purpose. What the Goddess knows is that there is Work to do, and that these men have been in-filled with new source-codes of direction.The New Directions for these men – those who have a Contract to Return to uphold the Altar of the Sacred Feminine – are directions that involve taking their hearts into new territories. In some ways, they are risking it all, because they now have to stand up and be seen as the true warriors of Love that they Are. And this means, demonstrating that Love in active purpose, in creative, meaningful, applied ways. It means being in relationships that are not allowing them to avoid the healing power of sacred intimacy – intimacy that requires their depth and their presence.This Sacred Purpose is not about running.It is about Staying.It is about showing up, opening up, growing up and stepping up. It is about moving into all the voids, all the empty spaces, all the terrifyingly uncharted plains of existence that these men’s fathers, and fathers before them, could not reach into. It is about finally coming home to the unheard, un-noticed, un-witnessed, even un-loved, parts of themselves – and being admired, appreciated, welcomed and trusted for their spiritual uniqueness. All of these rare and deeply-needed men are being held by the Great Goddess, and contacted by the Great Gods, and their emissaries. This is their time. This is the Time of Total Trust being extended to the Pioneers of the New Masculine Paradigm. Sophie Bashford ❤
**FOR HER SURRENDER – TRANSMISSION FOR MEN**I had a male client communicate to me today: “she’s so hard. I want her to be softer. It pisses me off when she is so hard. What do I do? I keep telling her to be softer and to surrender in her femininity, but it’s not working.”“Well firstly, you being annoyed by her “hardness” as you put it, is only going to support more hardness.” I replied.She is already “soft” by nature. If she is not willing to be in that energy with you, there are parts of your being which she does not fully trust at this point. An emotionally reactive and unclear man, is felt as a weak untrustworthy man. You don’t have to like it. It simply is what it is. Even if her mind wants to trust you, her body will never feel safe enough to open in your company. It will brace in your presence. There will be an energetic cocooning as a form of protection. Not because you are a bad man, but because there are too many parts of you which are unclear, uncertain, and dispersive. This is unsafe for her on every level of love & surrender. Men, you must realize to some degree what it means for her to be in a place of deep softness and receptivity with you. For you, it turns you on. For her, it’s risking life. It requires her to release all order and control, which she has been forced to barricade up around herself, based on her past experiences with males. This is what you are asking when you request for her to “surrender” more. You are inviting her into absolute exposure.On top of that, you are also wanting to literally insert a part of your body up inside of her, in a way which allows you to have full control over how you move it inside of her, in the most sensitive part of her entire physicality. DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH TRUST THIS REQUIRES? As men, we cannot ever truly feel the reality of this situation in our body, and what it must actually feel like when it is presented in a disconnected and hungry way. On the other end of the scale, having such intimacy presented in a connected, sensitive and conscious way must be like taking silky rockets of love-drops, made of dark chocolate, to the milky way. Excuse me, I’m veering…Basically, you are requiring her to bathe in oceans of vulnerability. A vulnerability which has been many times before you; used against her – disrespected, judged & dropped.Based on all of this…why on earth would she trust a man who she hasn’t vetted repeatedly?Welcome her challenge. Welcome her moment to moment tests. Realize it’s because she actually gives a damn about you. If she didn’t, she would never feel the need to test anything about you. If any of this sounds like something you simply don’t want to engage with, then leave her alone. She can probably find someone safer than you. What men need to see is the beauty in the challenge – the beauty present in the opportunity to demonstrate your wisdom and strength. This, is the dance. If you are wanting to show up for yourself, for community, for her – regardless of how terrified you may be, beautiful! Stay there, in your integrity, and allow her to continuously experience you. Finally, the question answered:How do we as men experience woman in her softness? Through learning how to LOVE HER.Especially in her hardness. Especially in her anger. Especially in her frustration. Especially in her tension. Especially in all the places she has been mishandled and traumatized. Love her!And then love her more…if you want to. If you don’t want to, there’s nothing wrong with that – But leave her the fuck alone. She doesn’t need another half-assed version of undercooked love. None of us do. If you are going to be there, at least commit to it.You want her to be soft? Learn how to love her. Much love,Chriswww.awakenedintent.com