Boundary Violation

Dr. Annie Kaszina has this to say about forgiveness of your abuser:

Notice, this is all about self-forgiveness. Those people who tell you that you need to forgive the people who hurt and abused you, might well not be considering your feelings in all of this.

Your feelings are what matter.

Toxic people who hurt you quite deliberately don’t need your forgiveness. They won’t do anything good with it. If and when you actually want to forgive them, feel free. But do think what that forgiveness means to you.

It can just mean cutting the cords of resentment – but still holding people accountable for their behavior. In your own mind, at least.

It doesn’t mean exposing yourself to further abuse.

The person who needs your forgiveness is you. Clearly, your life suffered as a result of choices you did or didn’t- could or couldn’t – make.

Even if the choices were wrong, your intention was likely honorable. So, forgive yourself for your mistakes and allow yourself to start to rebuild.

Silence/ Blocking

Once I give you silence

I’ve nothing left to say

I’ve retreated to my darkness

I’ve moved out of your way

Silence is my blessing

Silence is my curse

And once I pass it on to you

I’m finished with the words

There’s nothing left to be said

And nothing left to do

When I retreat in silence

Just know I’m really through

I’m sure you feel the distance

It’s tangible, it’s real

Because I’ve got nothing left for you

There’s nothing left I feel

Just the ghost of aching sadness

A memory, a dream

Like something I’ve forgotten

As I’ve forgotten how to scream

Once I give you silence

I’ve blessed you with my curse

I’ve moved on to better things

And I’m putting myself first.

~Mandy Kocsis©2022~

New Moon Message ; Better late than Never

She speaks of the warrior of

Love being just and coming

from the heart .

My heart has been heavy for

a few days , and I sense others

lower vibes and I have a

matter of the heart mission

near completion . Imagine

a painting , awaiting a frame.

I cannot hang out in this place

and began my day wayyyyy

too early , so I cannot resist

another 2 hours of quiet .

Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

youtube.com/watch

Raising Your Vibration

I hope you appreciate that

Not everyone will be receptive to your light

As many are still battling their own darkness

Not everyone will want to see you shine

As many still remain suppressed in the shadows

Not everyone will be appreciative of your wisdom

As many would rather remain ignorant or do not resonate with your message and way of seeing the world

Not everyone will be supportive of your growth and evolution

Because they would rather remain stagnant and not make progress

Not everyone will applaud your success

Because they either envy you or are ignorant of it as they are more focused on themselves and their own lives

And not everyone will want to see you heal

Because they are still stuck in their own trauma

And preoccupied with their own problems

But it is not your job to fix them, change them, rescue them or heal them

But simply to love and accept them as they are

And support them in the process of healing themselves

And while not everyone will value or notice you

Not everyone will want you to share your voice

And not everyone will want you to take up space in the world

You should never dim or suppress your beauty and brilliance to fit in

You should never conceal and hide your gifts, strengths and talents

And you should never fear expressing yourself authentically

As you are a beautiful star capable of shining

And the world is in desperate need of your light.

Tahlia Hunter

Art Pintrest

http://www.raisingvibrations.com.au

Narcissist and it’s Discontents

This Ted Talk with a specialist

rocked my world about 4 days

ago.

After being exampled yet again

at very high cost to me,

listening to her ,I am sure to

be more discerning about

my energy and luxuriant

in every minute of drama

and trauma free peace.

That’s most disturbing of all

to this narcissistic epidemic;

They know not Peace !

youtube.com/watch

Isolation Abuse of Narcissism

Her words blew me away as the experiences I have had are part of the entirety of the dark shadow that never sees the light .

I seemed to have known for decades after event after event , stagnant growth that deteriorated in a lack of consciousness and connection with God and he must have known .

Loosing respect , trust and love as you fear for your children while in a ” chemical straightjacket ” and under his control , unable to find legal representation for this ongoing high conflict , malignant war he remains in .

In a time of rising consciousness , those who continue to abuse , use and target another are exposing themselves in the equation .

Across the board , the highest on high in our world to the lowest of the low , we choose our destiny after hardships that defy anything close to normal , or safe .

On my own is absolutely the right place for me 🙏

youtube.com/shorts/XmrPa1TBgcM

Child Abuse

Please follow me on Instagram – thanks.

https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

The parent-child relationship is one of the strongest human bonds and it is totally heartbreaking when a parent and a child are no longer in contact. Two reasons for this can be parental alienation or estrangement. Two sides of the same coin. Both involve grief, regret, torment, and heartbreaking separation, but are also different as I shall try to explain below.

In the Journal of Forensic Science, the difference between parental alienation and realistic estrangement was defined this way: Parental alienation is the rejection of a parent without legitimate justification and realistic estrangement is the rejection of a parent for a good reason.

Parental alienation: When the relationship was previously loving, and in the absence of emotional or physical abuse, parental alienation is seldom initiated by the child. This pathological behaviour is born of a false or illogical belief fostered by the alienating parent, out of hatred, fear, envy, or disrespect, usually during and after a high conflict divorce, though alienation behaviours might have started while the parents were living together under the same roof. The alienating parent will use the child as a weapon by undermining their previously happy, loving relationship with the mentally healthy parent. With parental alienation, the child treats the parents as good and bad, right and wrong. They take on the alienating parent’s beliefs, justifications, fears, anger, language … they become loyal defenders of the ‘good’ parent because that parent has worked on them. Some liken it to a cult leader and their followers, or to brainwashing. The child aligns with the aggressor (please see my post on this).

Estrangement: Although this is also traumatic and heartbreaking, it is different to parental alienation. It doesn’t stem from the other parent doing all they can to destroy the parent/child loving relationship, but instead from the child’s independent-minded decision. The child puts up a boundary to prevent unwanted behaviour from his/her parent. This can include a great many things, including family conflict, disparaging behaviour, disagreements over life choices, violence, and abusive language .. … It is sadly fairly common for a parent who is estranged from his/her children to blame the other parent of parental alienation. It is easier to blame others than to take on any blame and responsibility themselves. The parent’s behaviour could be driving a child away, but their lawyer blames it on alienation. This is a travesty of justice, and courts must be more aware of these false accusations. It is important to evidence everything.

Whether you are going through estrangement or parental alienation, it is essential to get the emotional support you need. If you are reunited with your child, you can also try family counselling to help repair the relationship. I advocate Conscious Parenting. Whatever you choose, never hesitate to reach out for help. If the reconnection isn’t yet happening, or it’s been a long time since you’ve experienced separation, make sure you are looking after yourself, to get beyond grief and rage, and try to accept the situation, best you can. You deserve to be happy.