Loved & Loved : She is Home 🏠

“When you look deep within

Beyond the surface pale

And the lined eyes,

Through the skein

Of fine lines that

Travel like tributaries

To your soul,

You might find

The wayward girl

you once knew…

The young girl lost

To the antics of living

Who bore you no ill will

But who couldn’t yet grasp

The magnitude of

Incremental action

Upon action

Upon action

Which creates the

Ultimate direction of

A troubled life.

You might find her,

Beneath the greeting

And the greying hair,

Beyond the freckled

Hands

And you might beckon

Her with forgiving heart

And loving arms

To welcome her into

The quiet, gorgeous room

With flowers and pink blossoms

With perfume and pretty things

With standing vases of

Bright poppies

And tulips –

Yes tulips –

And you will let her know

That finally, with you…

She is lived and loved

And she is home.”

Camilla Slater 2022.

(Love to all women with a spark in their eyes and a wayward past.🌷)

Copyright Camilla Slater 2022. All rights reserved.

Image Credit: Painting by Louis Treserras, 1958.

Silence

As a target of weaponized silence I am aware when anyone uses this against me .

As such I’m aware of the distortion within the heart mind and soul of such an individual whose actions do not keep pace with their words . Or these words are omitted thus a feeling of correctness for not having truth within and challenged resort to covert acts .

youtube.com/watch

Crying

The advice from Dr Spock was to let baby cry up to 15 minutes . I tried this not knowing these horrific results .

There have been many advisors promoting detached parenting which is NOT what babies or children need not deserve .

Single Married Mama who had to be in the glow with a partner who had no idea or interest in parenting . Comfortable with brotherhood or uncle status that did not teach our sons well .

I regret not stopping everything to hold my baby , co sleep and had better intuitive skills that would have not allowed our sons to be alone with certain energies who masked many secrets

Crying it out: the foundation for NPD and BPD

(Borderline Personality Disorder

and Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

“One of the ways children have to adjust to a new order is called ‘letting them cry themselves out’.

The Mother puts the child into the crib at night to sleep. It is bedtime. But the sense of aloneness and the loss of contact with the mothers body terrifies the child, who begins to scream and cry.

No animal mother would fail to respond to a baby’s cry. Some human mothers believe, however that to respond would be wrong.

To give in to a child’s crying will spoil the child.

Besides, they have been told, crying is good for a child…

The first time this happens the child might cry for hours before falling asleep.

The mother might think the child has learned a lesson, but, the child doesn’t have the energy for a repeat performance…

After several experiences of this kind, the child learns to give up the struggle for contact with the mother. In effect, the child has cut off the longing for his contact and so no longer feels the pain of frustration.

A new reality in which the desire for intimacy and closeness is not expressed, has been accepted.

The foundations for narcissism and the borderline personality have been laid.”

Alexander Lowen,

Narcissism, Denial of True Self

Narcissist & Marriage

Totally agree; I was no more than a “place holder “.

His reasons for marriage were not normal and masked until it was undeniable after 1 year but we had a child 🧒 and I had no resources for safety or money which gave him power for 21 years and 2 more children that were his property and leveraged to continue the abuse and hold him on high for his $$& connections .

Triangulation was constant , stability was zip ,acting as the all knowing, all seeing perfectionist to whom I’d never ever be enough for, much less equal .

And he set this standard, modeled this malignant character to our 3 sons ,who fear and deny the facts/truths.

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To Be A Mom

Many are single married Mothers , with a drop in Dad who friends their child and creates the Mom who must delegate thus coming off as doctoral .

To be a Mom.

A Mom will break her own heart in pieces and glue those pieces into your heart that is broken.

She will tie your hair (im)patiently and run back to fetch your favourite toy, even if it makes her late.

She will pull the feathers from her wings and lovingly add them to yours just to make sure that you can fly higher.

She will use her last bit of energy at the end of a long day to wipe the tears from your sad face.

A Mom is thè one person that will always see the beauty within you.

She is thè one person that will believe you deserve only the best and bend backwards to ensure that you get it.

To be a Mom is to understand that at times, she will have to stand alone against the world.

I only realize now why Cinderella’s stepmom was so nasty and Mama Bear’s porridge was always cold.

I only realize now why Snowhite was alone in the woods and why Little Red Riding Hood’s granny so grey, old and sick.

Because the days of Motherhood were just too long and the years much too short.

And many, yes MANY days, a Mom’s plate of food is just too cold too often.

Luckily there are silver linings, especially around much darker clouds,

on days you need to see that silver lining the most.

The reward of being a Mom can be found in listening to the most precious of precious laughter of your child, sounding like water gently gurgling over smooth river stones.

It is in the privilege of hearing a little human that you helped bring into this world, say: “Mama, I’s loves you..” and you know it comes from their tiny heart.

I believe that you only grasp the true value of a Mom, the day you become a Mom yourself.

It is only then that you realize the power in a Mom’s prayers.

At times the title Mom also brings the deepest of hurt and pain.

But let’s be honest – to have a Mom and to be a Mom, is the highest privilege anyone can be blessed with.

🖋️~ Unknown, shared via Welcome Home pg.

*** Written by a mom for moms, but reading it, I know so many millions of Moms have an amazing, supportive Dad beside them. I honour you both. 💜

Art Credit : Artist unknown, published by Heidi @Parenting to Impress.

A Return From Dignity From Psychiatric Abuse

This is written from a child’s experience and I appreciate it . The balance and dignity I have created for myself after the nightmare of abuses being further abused by psychiatry and an inept medical system and a social acceptance of craziness over trauma .

There are still folks out there that are served by their lower energy and resistance to change that are gunning for me , revealing themselves as having done much harm .

That legacy is not my intent for an inheritance for 6 innocent grandchildren whose parents are stuck in hatred and neglect towards me .

www.madinamerica.com/2022/09/return-dignity-abuse/

The Collapsed Narcissist

I have been aware that though I explain there is no understanding in the part of folks who block me ( blocking feelings , trauma , healing ) and keep false witness to soothe their own needs .

Helping one who has done much harm and still harbors ill feelings and abusive intentions blocks my progress . It’s as if I were compliant and accepting when I’m trying balance within and out and the other is still playing games and wearing a smile throughout .

So I’ve had the force that brought change and much was not my choice and educated choices are much better in the long run .

Separating myself from all attachments to be that 3rd person ; and observing along with research ,experience and dedication to knowing myself , being true to myself and surrendering to Divine ; Thy Will Be Done ✅

Others have Free Will ; I try to provide facts and my thoughts which have repelled by children and I’m surrendered to that .

I’m dedicated to balance in my life and folks who have no agenda and show respect , and love ❤️ and trust 🎁

That’s my Heaven On Earth

My physical home , and peace to be … to cook my meals, bake and alchemy with healing natural methods . Gardening , preserving food , writing ( I’m a poet at heart ❤️) and walking , plus a pet or 2 . It’s been since 2017 since I had space that welcomed pets without a great deal of money and conditions that were not safe for me , nor a pet .

2016 I had a natural habitat for what developed 3 dogs and 2 cats ; an eviction cost me all but 1 who moved with me twice and finally died of what I believe was Lyme related .

It’s been hard but that’s part of Retaliatory Landlord Abuse .

I learned retaliatory at the hands of a master to whom I have detached from long ago .He has not received the message,not accepted that I don’t belong to him .

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Addictive states are common in those repressed in grieving 👁

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Stagnation Over : The Daily Vibe

Very true , cutting away all that does not jive 😎

It’s been ongoing for years 🎃

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