Unfortunately I had lessons of detachment with regards to my health and well being . He wasn’t interested …. and when the psychiatric RX began their varied ” side effects ” he withdrew deeply. That was a devastating experience that flared up hugely the last 5 years and was imprinted upon our 3 sons .
I was responsible for not doing my job ; totally disregarding how toxicity in medicine and the disregard of my health let me know my place in his cold black heart .
Sadly his health deteriorates Sadly he ignore the truth
Sadly he stays in a rut
Sad for anything he he influences as he cycles through his Father/Child persona ; his personal war … puked on those he ” loves”
I failed him
I deserve nothing
I should get a job
I live in the past
I am ungrateful in his eyes and heart ❤️
This is his opinion. I have been his target for 4.5 decades
Using our sons in retaliatory abuse served him well
He ignores the ” side effects ” of our sons abuse .
I’m not responsible for his actions or passive aggressive behavior as he has determined I should not live 👁, long ago . He is very determined to end my life ; to shut me up .
“Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones.
But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thighbone) that had been broken and then healed. Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from danger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.
A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken time to stay with the one who fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where civilization starts, Mead said.”
We are at our best when we serve others. Be civilized.