Grieving is the healing

Healing work is grief work.

Shadow work is grief work.

Grieving is the healing.

Without grieving, we obstruct the flow of the divine intelligence of life that wants to move through us and pull us into deeper alignment with our greatest aliveness.

It’s no small thing.

We are taught to be afraid of our grief because it is wild and untamable.

It reminds us we are in a co-creative relationship with something greater than us, something we cannot control; a higher power that isn’t so petty as to judge us for our human foibles.

In cultures where the wildness is conditioned out of living, where death is feared into an industry, this very necessary and innate aspect of our humanity keeps us from experiencing all that we really long for.

Where there is joy, there is grief.

One of the reasons joy feels so vulnerable, or even opening to love again, is that awareness of the grief that lives inside of it. Inside of our vulnerability, inside our love and attachments, inside the shame (fear and grief) that arises to remind us of the ephemeral nature of all things.

When we embrace the process of grief, we can more fully and fearlessly embrace our joy too.

We also become more skilled at letting go of the things that we need to let go of, that pull us away from love.

We no longer have to wait until we are free of shadow or pain or loss or mourning to get on with our flourishing.

Our joy and flourishing is not a disloyalty to our grief and loss, but an honoring of if, of what was and how we loved.

And, it all has it’s own wise timing that cannot be rushed.

In the myth of the Phoenix, a potent symbol of rebirth, there comes a time in their life where they know it is time to complete a cycle. The phoenix then builds a nest (a funeral pyre) and with a clap of its wings, goes into flames and, perhaps like caterpillar soup, is remade in the alchemy of the fire.

As it rises out the ashes, the ashes left represent salt, or that which cannot be burned, the life force of life itself.


The phoenix uses myrrh to create an egg out of the remains. And, then, takes this egg and leaves it on the alter of the Sun God as an offering and a prayer for creative regeneration, for more life and in gratitude for what was.

In this myth, there is a recognition of death, of a time to complete a cycle. To give something up.

Usually, we experience through loss, the death of a loved one or another initiation of loss.

But we are often also asked to give up our patterns, attachments, beliefs, worldview identities, cultural paradigms, hopes for the future, dreams, longings for what will never be, or even the expertise we cling on to when life wants us to expand into more possibility.

Recognizing this space, the phoenix knows it must sacrfice what is precious in order to generate more life.

It offers the bones, the salt, the life force of life itself, that which cannot ever be destroyed, to the altar of the divine to create more wholeness.

This is our own personal spiral of grief, where we enter the spiral through loss and change, recovery or healing crisis, where we must let go.

Into that fire, we offer what needs to be recycled in order to be reborn into something new. We make a sacred offering of what feels so precious to us in order to receive our wholeness in return.

We learn what our relationship really is with the unknown, what needs to be healed there.

We meet the ache that never goes away, the pain of grief and longing and joy where our wound and Eros, God, dances in our continual becoming.

The more we embrace that this is a natural cycle of humanning, the less we have to “work” on ourselves like projects on a “to do” list, because we come to trust the natural cycles of our soul’s evolution.

In intimacy with the ache, we understand what is needed, what our particular Chironic medicine is cooking up within us, what to leave at the altar of the divine, how to spread flower petals with tears of our prayers and come back into resonance with what can never, ever be destroyed that is always living inside of us.


Art by Kirstin McKinzie

Dr. Mia Hetényi

Sexual Energy & Vibrations

“All about ENERGY AND SEX”

For those who take sex very lightly, this information here may enlighten you.

When you have sex with someone, a whole energetic process begins.

Mainly the root chakras of both, come together and from this intimacy the auras merge, merge to create a great auric energy around the two.

Through separation, it leaves an energetic and karmic imprint. The more relationships you have with a person, the deeper the connection.

That’s why sometimes you remember so much about your ex or who you became intimate with and you change your vibration and create energetic links that bring them together where they then continue to transmit energy on a subtle level.

In every relationship, some of the other person’s energy is acquired. If you have relationships with people who are mainly dense, unconscious, devoid of light and love, unstable, then you acquire the same thing … You change to a paradigm where nothing makes you happy even though you have many reasons to be. If the other person did something that marked their karma, you acquire it and it can attract painful experiences.

On the contrary, if you are in a relationship with someone who is aware, full of light, full of love and who keeps their energy clean, a wonderful exchange of positive energy is generated for both people. Both grow in love and awareness.

The energy of love and sexuality is so great and magical that it vibrates so high that you reach an expanded state of consciousness.

That energy also remains in you and me as new light codes.

If you sleep with a person who currently already has a partner, you consequently acquire the energy of that person and the partner (and the partner’s partners).

There are no culprits, only unconscious people and consequences. You are your own boss, you can change when you decide.

Why do we attract people into our lives whose relationships with us are empty, painful and dense?

– First by vibration: we attract what we vibrate.

– Second for learning: the other person is a reflection of you, he will show you your shadows so you can recognize them and work on them.

– The third due to internal conflicts: You did not learn to love, you did not learn to Value.

Consequently, we relate to people of the same vibratory level. You can even become attached (“falling in love”) with someone like this, with the inability to love and value yourself until you end up using yourself. For it vibrationally perceives your need for Love, but only reflects your relationship with yourself. Love yourself and you will love others and others will love you.

This is not an invitation to not have sex, on the contrary, you must make LOVE as often as you want! But before that, vibrate up, to attract a person with whom you can be stable and help you grow and not tear down the evolutionary work.

People who have VIBRATION know how to choose LOVE and LIGHT.

Never sleep with someone you don’t want to be with, don’t do it out of revenge or because you have to.

– Author Unknown


Today is my Mom’s birthday ; she would be 91 ; died at 67

Much remained unspoken , unresolved and I have sought and found answers as best I could .

That has to be enough , She suffered horribly for her last 5 years . Her last 5 years were my first 5 years of psychiatric treatment for Axis l Marital Difficulties , as an induced mental patient .

Mother & Child bond destroyed by Twilight Sleep given Mom in labor and medical and drug ( RX ) her last 5 years on earth .

I was aware enough to know that nothing would ever be the same and it sure wasn’t .

May she know peace in the great hereafter and love ❤️as she deserved

Mom & I , 1953

The Role of Money in Child Psychological Abuse /Alienation

So true !

The last 5 years in family was a freaking Hell on earth and I watched the effects on our sons .

Of course I let him down , not doing my part to keep a house , tend to ALL the things he didn’t and did not serve his personal needs .

Of course knowing ALL he did not educate himself or sons ; excusing my not being with them as my being ” sick ” .

It seemed to be just what he needed ; a ” crazy ” wife , and absolutely no light shown on his abuse , neglect etc . He’s the injured one ; the Victim 💯

Money is his Super Power and he used it against me before and after marriage and still denies he has embezzled my income .

The facts are facts and cannot be denied . A contract handwritten to resolve this with help with a home and purchase of a new SUV was just more of his plot 4 years ago when we signed the lease agreement and I let him , knowing I can and will prove the facts .

Sending him home listings with no reply , he has his form of Justice by my homelessness. And loss of time and property as much more money goes out to accommodate homelessness , challenging health issues , all delight him and he feels proves me to be bad at finances !

Twisted Thinking

Money is weaponized when it comes to our children

That’s why he feels I deserve less because having a home or money would entice male friends and possibly sons to connect with me .

That’s not going to happen .

His ever present greed is revolting , as much as his denial that he is in any way responsible for anything ever .

What part does MONEY play in PARENTAL ALIENATION?

Please see more of my posts on Instagram. I post 2-6 each day to spread awareness about parental alienation, to inform and to uplift. I hope they help.

Money often motivates alienating behaviours. If there’s a personality disorder too, it’s a double whammy. Alienators are controlling, and money is a system of control too. Mind control is subtle, and it coercively nudges and persuades and influences, it changes thoughts and beliefs, but it’s entirely invisible. All anyone might see is the pretence of protection, best intentions, and care while, in truth it’s all about profit and power. Entirely selfish behaviours. This is how governments work too, and a debt-based financial system which is in itself disordered and broken. So, money and alienation often go hand in hand, a nightmare partnership, controlling and manipulating. The child might feel they are acting autonomously. They may believe the ‘grass is greener’ with the alienating parent. They may have been induced with bribes by a ‘Disneyland Parent’. Deep down, the child will know they are being played, but children, especially at a certain stage, are more selfish, and pliable, and try to spread their wings more anyway. But if there were years of a good, loving relationship with you and your alienated child/ren, despite all the rubbish the alienating parent says and does, the love will still exist between you and your child/ren. It may take time, but the relationship can be repaired

Wounded Child

With practice, we can see that our wounded child is not only us.

Our wounded child may represent several generations.

Our mother may have suffered throughout her life.

Our father may have suffered.

Perhaps our parents weren’t able to look after the wounded child in themselves.

So when we’re embracing the wounded child in us, we are embracing all the wounded child in our past generations.

This practice is not a practice for ourselves alone, but for numberless generations of ancestors and descendants.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Art: Emily Balivet



You have permission to inhabit your own life.

To say no

To say yes.

To inhabit your own knowing

Your own body,

And all you allow or do not allow

within it.

To love who you love.

To feel.

To inhabit anger,


joy. And heavy sorrow.

To be full of strength,

and to know weakness.

Permission to stand for something. Or to walk away.

To find rest. To tell your story.

To give or take what is yours,

And to never explain why you leave —

Or why you stay.

You have permission, grand permission,

to have a voice. And to use it.

And to let others have theirs too.

To add your voice to the Grand Mosaic,

Your brilliant tile to humanity,

and not be silenced.

You have permission to tell the truth

and to let others tell theirs. Or to be in quiet.

To choose to engage in the old wars

To win the game. To lose it,

or to stand firm.

–Or to find something higher.

To know. –When to listen,

Or when to be cracked open.

To let the silver spores of being infuse your life

Or to watch your tender soul unfurl,

and come to flower.

You have permission to be Wild. So wild

To live in, under, to live *through*.

To experience belief. And what it is to follow.

To Lead,

Or to gather all you own, your whole being, if need be,

and take up your sacred path.

You have permission to live in your full truth today,

Even if it that truth is gone, tomorrow.

To be reborn.

Stunned like a babe, gasping from the womb,

only to find rest in the warmth and soft breast

of new Knowing.

You have permission to follow the call of your soul —

Even if it doesn’t make sense.

Even if it is inconvenient.

Even if it only forms more questions —

Even if it only brings you freedom,

Or a heavy burden.

For you are not a herd beast.

*You are a Being of Light*

Individuating your way out of the sleeping tribe.

You are an archangel, exalted to human,

Spreading the great arms of your wings

into Life.

You are a Boat Builder,

A Clock Maker,

A Worker at the Compass.

Full of beauty. Complexity,

and magnificent contradiction.

You, my dear, are a Singer of the Soul.



ask for permission.

~ Rachel Alana (R.A Falconer) Midwives of the Soul

art | Tamara Phillips

Midwives of the Soul