At the inevitable collapse of a narcissistic relationship and even before it is in the devalue stage, the narcissist will blame you for all of the problems and their unhealed wounds that they will never take responsibility for.
When you are discarded at the end of the relationship, you’ll be demonized and smeared to all and sundry. This is how a False Self operates.
At the beginning of the relationship, you are childishly pumped up. You’re the greatest thing since poached eggs, paraded all over social media and gushed out to family and friends, and probably introduced way too quickly to all of the narcissist’s circles, probably as well as the kids. You’re likely being thrust in the face of the previously discarded supply that the narcissist is finished with too.
Then as time goes on, of course, you start being devalued and then eventually discarded. You’re going to be put on the rubbish heap with all the other sucked out Souls that the narcissist False Self has thrown into the gutter.
As far as the False Self is concerned, if you’re not great, you’re terrible. There is no in-between. There is no Real Self operating within the narcissist. Therefore there’s no self-awareness, no self-responsibility, and consequently, it’s all your fault.
If you have any guilty feelings, please read this article to help you:
And to help you get started on a guilt-free life, please come into my free webinar where I explain to you more about this – https://bit.ly/3n4F5gD. I take you through a Quanta Freedom Healing where you can immediately release your guilt.
Crazy…or wise? The traditional wisdom of indigenous cultures often contradicts modern views about a mental health crisis. Is it a ‘calling’ to grow or just a ‘broken brain’? The documentary CRAZYWISE explores what can be learned from people around the world who have turned their psychological crisis into a positive transformative experience.
Join Gabor and Director Phil Borges for a Q&A about the film on February 2, 2022 at 11am Pacific.
There is a screening of the film at 9:30am Pacific, prior to the Q&A with Gabor.
A very harsh lesson , still on going as I enter a 2nd month of no income except social security.
Indeed the wheeling and dealing was deeply embedded in shadow with intentions of divesting me completely, financially and intentions geared to digress me mentally, physically, financially and spiritually .
With holidaze and weather, further delaying forward movement , I can assure you all thats possible is being done .
Posing as a professional, the facts deny anything professional and though this energy is dank , I have 4 decades of experience and 20 plus pulling in pieces of the puzzle that are my present reality..Different entity..Same MO..
Finally at rest , with half a tank of gas , $10 cash and Thankful for food , I wait patiently for resolution.
Partnership that wasn’t…says much about the other who dwells in distorted energy .
Maintaining my balance as much as possible, grateful I’m present instead of medicated into submission as I was in past partnership of marriage so that business arrangements could be made to benefit the other .
Sensing the varied reasons for this current situation, I will not demure but will continue with my every effort to accomplish my goal of a home . Noting how much effort has been made to thwart my progress , the facts are present and I’m not concerned about the outcome for the other . Abusing my safety, my trust , my health and finances assures justice as Thy Will Be Done .
Snow is yet another challenge with more predicted in a few days . I refuse to live in fear or anger . Noting the severity of my situation of which I cannot detail at this time for legal reasons, I am aware of the opprotunity offered and denied , that have boomerangs , and no I cannot worry about the other’s side effects , for knowing , for enjoying my every trial if not support them in hopes I expire and their abuse kept secret .
Betrayal in Distorted energy is still abuse 💔especially when confidences have been shared and vulnerability exploited for greed and power .
Blessings & Peace
A narcissist will use your wounds against you. And that’s it! They use the insecure or unhealed inner parts of you like bullets in their gun to fire at you.
A narcissist knows this. They’ve been practising this from a very, very early age.
And they know how to hit that person with those things to trigger them and get them to hand their power over.
As soon as you’re triggered, you’re pulled out of your powerful, innate self, your centre, and you regress back into childhood or past life traumas. Meaning those parts of you have now been activated, and they’ve come to the fore and feel powerless to protect you.
When you’re triggered into survival programs, you suffer from adrenaline and cortisol that activate the fight, fight, flee or freeze response. And this is where you have brain fog. You can’t think, you can’t get to solutions. You don’t know what to say.
The reason for that is everything shuts down. You’re back in your amygdala, which is triggering you into survival programs. You don’t have access to the cognitive solution, power, wisdom, or the logic to detach and know what to do. You just don’t have access.
It’s so important to understand what’s literally physiologically chemically going on within you so that you can accept that this is what happens. And when you look back through the times when you get triggered by a narcissist, if you’re honest with yourself, you know that’s what happens.
And you know that in those times, it’s like watching yourself by remote, and you can’t stop yourself reacting in a way that you know is not helping you, but it’s like, you feel powerless. You’re hijacked by it. That’s what’s going on.
For more on this, please take a look at these blogs –
Join me in the next free Healing Webinar, where I will explain how to seal your gaps and take your power back. You get to experience two healings that will start the Quantum Way to heal from abuse – https://bit.ly/3dn4w8S. You will be sent a replay link after the event has finished.
“Recovering from severe ostracism can be a challenge, because it affects a person on so many different levels. It impairs four basic human needs: belonging, control, self-esteem, and meaningful existence. It dramatically raises anxiety levels and causes depression and despondency. Physical pain often accompanies severe ostracism, since the part of the brain handling pain management is activated. When prolonged, ostracism causes many people to withdraw from social connection and activities that they previously enjoyed. Ostracized people feel isolated and lonely. They often become less active physically and emotionally. Meanwhile, the depth and the gravity of ostracism symptoms are usually not understood. There is a tendency to minimize and invalidate the pain of people experiencing ostracism. Occasionally, some ostracized people will act out in inappropriate ways to try to get those ostracizing them to notice them in any way they can, since even negative attention feels better than no attention. In the most extreme cases ostracism can lead to violence or suicide.” http://ostracism-awareness.com/recovery/
Not healthy nor wise in any way shape or form to hold faith of healing change .
Releasing all that distorted life , all contracts created to serve ONE …
Most accounts that teach about narcissistic abuse recovery are straightforward about the impossibility of repairing a relationship with a narcissist. But, there are other accounts, some led by popular teachers and psychologists, that insist there is hope. I’m here to spread the news that this is false. You cannot heal your relationship with a narcissist because in order for that to happen, the narcissist would need to WANT it to happen. The narcissist would need to develop empathy, which isn’t possible. Narcissists cannot be taught empathy. All they can do is pretend. No amount of “trauma-informed” therapy will make a lick of difference to a narcissist. You cannot heal a narcissist’s avoidant attachment style. They will not put in the effort to make that happen. They do not WANT to bond healthily with one person (including their own children). Narcissists do not want stable relationships with one partner. The very idea of being in a normal relationship with one person bores them to tears and frightens them to their core. Narcissists thrive on instability, drama, chaos, manipulation, and infidelity. These are the things that are exciting to narcissists. These are the things narcissists NEED. And before you go thinking that you can offer these things to them, know that they don’t want one player in their game. They want multiple players who are positioned against each other. They want different people fighting over them. They enjoy it when people get to their breaking point. They are pleased when they’re able to hurt people emotionally. Narcissism is part of the dark triad. It’s a close second to psychopathy. Anyone who would lead you to believe there are “safe” levels of narcissism or that narcissists on the so-called “low end” of the spectrum can have healthy relationships is either disillusioned or straight-up lying. Most therapists and teachers know full well that you can’t make things work with a narcissist. Other folks are trying to set themselves apart by appealing to the dream that there IS a way to make it work, exploiting your deepest vulnerabilities and exposing you to further trauma.
There are multiple lines all moving forward simultaneously – one of them is the legislative line with your state legislators – they represent you.
You have a grievance… with the licensing board’s failure to act to discipline incompetent and unethical malpractice by forensic psychologists.
This is child abuse. The courts and mental health professionals need greater guidance from the legislative branch regarding their obligations to protect children from child abuse. That means amending the child abuse reporting laws to more clearly define all forms of child abuse – including Child Psychological Abuse, DSM-5 V995.51 – and the obligations to protect the child.
Previous legislation was introduced in Florida to do this. There are forces that don’t want change… then there was the Trump era that sucked all the oxygen from the political room – then there was Covid that sucked all the oxygen from the political room.
We are starting to get our oxygen back within state legislatures and their interest in the injustice and child abuse occurring in the family courts.
The state licensing boards will be increasingly exposed for their cover-up of the unethical malpractice in forensic psychology. Parents only have two options when the licensing boards don’t protect the consumer and instead protect the ignorant, incompetent, and unethical forensic psychologist from accountability for their unethical malpractice.
1) Malpractice lawsuits filed in the courts.
2) Complaints to state representatives for legislative review of licensing boards and the corruption and exploitation within forensic psychology and the family courts.
A parent is in contact with their state legislator’s office regarding their matter. An aide was assigned. The parent, the aide, and I met in my doxy.me/drchildress office for background.
There was no opportunity to intervene on the individual matter, but the representative’s office requested more information about any prior legislation that has been helpful. That’s the way of things – we fight for each other – we move things forward step-by-step, no step is lost when we move together.
I sent this parent the following resources to provide to their state representative’s office:
The Florida proposed changes to the child abuse reporting laws that provide greater clarity to the courts and mental health professionals regarding child psychological abuse (DSM-5 V995.51) would be extremely helpful. The courts and mental health professionals need greater guidance and clarity from the legislative branch regarding the obligations surrounding child abuse.
In addition. Kentucky passed a rebuttable presumption of equal shared parenting legislation in 2018, and these laws too for a rebuttable presumption of equal shared parenting are also very helpful to calming court-involved custody conflicts.
When you reevaluate the pattern of narcissists in your life, you may have noticed a distinct feeling of invisibility as you were shoved to the side as a background character in your own life time and time again. Think of it this way: attention-seeking narcissists or otherwise toxic people work very hard to maintain the spotlight. In order to do so, they have to cast what feels akin to an invisibility spell over those they know will be “too visible” seen and noticed by others. They know your traits and assets make you someone who is a “main character” – someone who authentically brings attention to them without even trying because of their empathy, natural charisma and intelligence. If you have this pattern in your life, it’s time to recognize the ways in which you have been “hidden” from others by the narcissists in your life so people couldn’t see you accurately. Whether it was through smear campaigns or simply hogging the stage, realize that you do deserve to be visible and to be the main character of your life story without others downplaying who you are. Not in a narcissistic way but in a healthy self-loving way. You too deserve attention, acknowledgment and care. 💖🤗 #narcissisticabuse #toxicpeople #toxicrelationships #shahidaarabi #emotionalabuse #selfcare #healing
Too many beautiful, loving folks believe they and the narcissist are soul mates or twin flames. They believe the narcissist is simply fulfilling the “runner” dynamic and will ‘come to their senses’ and return to the relationship sooner or later. And they will wait YEARS for this to happen, enduring untold, horrific abuse. Please understand that a soul mate will not betray you, stab you in the back, tell you pathological lies, or make it their duty to cause you to feel unworthy of their love. Only sadistic manipulators do that. Many writers and content creators are romanticizing emotional abuse and calling it ‘spiritual lessons’ and ‘evolution’. This is one of the worst forms of gaslighting. The truth is, staying in a relationship with an individual who emotionally abuses you and repeatedly breaks their promises can cause crippling levels of chronic depression due to repeated emotional traumas, the nature of which is made worse by the limiting beliefs we form in response to the narcissist’s degrading verbal assaults. Even more alarming, repeated emotional injuries shrink the brain’s hippocampus, which is responsible for memory and learning, while enlarging the amygdala, which houses primitive emotions such as fear, grief, guilt, envy, and shame.
In short, you habitually become hijacked by your freeze response, unable to form rational thoughts or reactions. Over time, this becomes your baseline state of being. It’s a cycle of emotional destruction of the most grievous kind. I cannot recommend enough to stop romanticizing abuse and stop self-abandoning.
The Modules of THRIVE are dedicated to helping you evolve into a healed version of yourself so you can say “NO” to continued abuse.
And you will be restored in more incredible ways than you ever believed possible.