When girls become women, there is an elaborate ceremony and all the women who are in the girls life are invited to attend. Making this day special for both the girl and her mother are important whether you are a Native person or not. The boys recognition in becoming a man is a ceremony that is quite different but also needs to be acknowledged. Indigenous people have been doing these ceremonies for hundreds of years – everyone should learn from this ❤
(Art by David Joaquin)
“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.”
Kahlil Gibran – The Prophet, 1923.
Charles William Bartlett – Mother and Child, 1900.
In a new article published in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine Focus, researchers lay out the American College of Preventative Medicine’s (ACPM) position on preventing and mitigating adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). While the authors endorse surveillance and research around childhood adversity, they recommend against screening for adverse childhood experiences in individual clinical encounters.
Through a synthesis of research and expert opinion, they put forward seven recommendations for preventing and assisting in recovery from adverse childhood experiences. They write:
“The American College of Preventive Medicine offers seven adverse childhood experiences‒related recommendations focused on screening, education/training, policy/practice, and research: 2 are evidence-based, and five are based on expert opinion. Notably, regarding secondary prevention of adverse childhood experiences, the American College of Preventive Medicine endorses population-level surveillance and research around childhood adversity but not adverse childhood experience screening in individual clinical encounters.”
Being raised in high conflict families, we are raised to be our own worst enemies and harshest critics. High conflict family environments do not operate from love.
These families are driven by competition, comparison and conflict. To gain any sense of peace in these toxic environments, we must go against what is in our best interest to fit in.
Cutting off from a family like this, requires going through a period of a “major detox.” We need time to detox from all the poison and brainwashing. This detox requires examining and understanding the totality and vastness of our family’s dysfunction. It requires grieving and a strong commitment to moving forward. It requires self love.
This detox period is the launching pad for the development of a healthier sense of personal power that does not include forcing, pressuring, controlling, criticizing or competing.
There are far better, and more empowering ways to do life than from the same type of dysfunction we were raised in.
Sherry Campbell PhD
Ex is still bound to his Mom and I’ve had to consider his reasoning in destroying relationships with sons was to thwart and sever our ” living connection”
But then he saw himself as the superior ultimate Dad/Mom and imprinted them early on . Our family was never more important that his Mothers requirements .
Of course his causal connection celebrated birthdays etc with money not his presence and I declined in competition with his detachment of being and giving
I believe this was an issue with the next supply as he became toxic and detached when she became so ill she couldn’t work and he had the responsibility of paying for her health care . Mentioning in court these facts and even how much she spent on bras !
He is still owned and still selfish even as he steals from me . That’s clearly not going to heal in mid 70’s and mid 90’s
His partner, his confidant is Mom who allows him to have relationships and listens to his complaints and supports his ending said relationship.
At their core, the alienating parent is afraid, jealous and cannot bear to think there could be time spent, let alone love given, to anyone but themselves. Their wounded ego needs revenge, and this will be inflicted on anyone (especially a ‘target’ parent) who exposes the truth of who they are inside (often triggered by separation/divorce – it can’t be their fault). They can’t bear it. They even hide from themselves. To deal with this, they try and control everyone and everything. They rewrite the narrative. They encourage and magnify any natural discord that happens in the course of childhood with parents. The children are coercively controlled, and weaponised. They’re not allowed independent thought or any positive feelings or even memories about the ‘other’ parent. But the child/ren loved you, and they still do, they’ve just been ‘indoctrinated’ to think otherwise. Once they remove their gas mask, their toolkit of survival, they can breathe. They can live their sovereign lives as they deserve. They can reunite with you. Please see more of my posts at:
AND PLEASE DO JOIN ME ON MY NEW COMMUNITY PAGE as we reached capacity here. Thanks.
#familylaw #familycourt #highconflictdivorce #parentalalienation #parentalalienationawareness #coparentingwithanarcissist #childcustody #custodybattle #parentalalienationischildabuse #parentalalienationisacrime #fathersrights #mothersrights #parentalalienationsyndrome #cognitivedistortions #psychologicalsplitting #familyviolence #survivingparentalalienation #generationaltrauma #hostileaggressiveparenting #parentalalienatingbehaviours #FamilyLaw #falseallegations #alienatedparent #parenting #alienated #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #coercivecontrol #childrenfirst #StopParentalAlienation #fathersrights #mothersrights #reunification #coparentingwithanarcissist #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #traumabonding #divorcinganarcissist #EndParentalAlienation #consciousparenting #consciousparent #consciousparentingcoach #childhoodtrauma #targetparent #targetedchild #parentalrights #childsupport #Custody #cognitivedistortions #splitting #familyviolence #survivingparentalalienation
In a new article in Frontiers in Psychiatry, researchers explain the four strategies used to erroneously conflate the construct of “ADHD” with a medical disease. According to the researchers, the label of ADHD is merely a description of children’s behavior, but the way it is usually discussed “reifies” it—or assumes that description is an objective fact with explanatory power.
“The descriptive classification Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often mistaken for a disease entity that explains the causes of inattentive and hyperactive behaviors, rather than merely describing the existence of such behaviors,” they write.
Why is this distinction so crucial? The researchers explain:
“The errors and habits of writing may be epistemologically violent by influencing how laypeople and professionals see children and ultimately how children may come to see themselves in a negative way. Beyond that, if the institutional world shaped to help children is based on misguided assumptions, it may cause them harm and help perpetuate the misguided narrative.”
When the complexity of human experience is reduced to a label, other explanations and possibilities are eliminated, and potentially harmful interventions go unchallenged. This is even more problematic, they write, with a contested category like ADHD, which has been disavowed by the very people who created the construct in the first place, such as Allen Frances and Keith Conners.