I am rx drug free now. I am not an addict even though i
was in withdrawal for the last 4 years. I was a patient
with PTSD who took the medications prescribed to me. I
was patient long enough. Below are the exact drugs i
can clearly recall that were administered to
me … AmbienAtivanBusparCymbaltaDepakoteAntabuse
Cortisol injectionsBeta blocker
Abused children, whose heritage of fear has clouded all ; awaken to the power of change
Having had lots of experience and time to study this, and heal my own wounds , and I’m over siblings bringing their need to be mothered and project blame , without healthy boundaries or reciprocation.
Mom exited in 99, as I was in the flow of induced mental illness , aware of the abuses, but unable to attend to her as I would have preferred …Certainly , I have forgiven her for our fails , for her silence held so much shame and guilt, as her life force ebbed , I knew life would never be the same , without her…I try not to live in what ifs and I Bless that she endured so much pain , and deserved better care from the hospital Corp she worked for as an LPN.
She seemed to think I was a good Mom, she never fostered ideas on child rearing to me, for I was utilized to tend to younger siblings , with little more than instinct .I was her confidant , or emotional partner off and on, for tge communication with Dad would get off flow, from time to time and she couldn’t discuss her feelings with him , she trusted me to do so.. And so did he ….
Spiritually we connect from time to time , and I’m aware that she aided her 1st born through the portal …all is well with my soul .
For her silent suffering , her experiences with AMA and Big Pharma , like each Grandmother is part of the force behind my efforts ♥.
Mom loved Christmas and also found her voice in my house when a family member by marriage tried to ruin our day…and she was powerful .
I do miss her at this time, and connect easier , as I recall her vast preparation for the feast she presented for us with so much love 💘.
Trying to know her as a person, seeing her as a 3 year old and her family dynamics as well as her trauma , shame , and guilt has helped me greatly not to over personalize or hold on to the failures, which were beyond her knowing , at that time.. She is very proud of me for my efforts to heal generations of family abuses and trauma.
The narcissist’s self-image is everything, and he or she will wager everything on it – doing things that are unlawful, dangerous and criminal to uphold it. This naturally put his or her business at risk – and the narcissist has no issue in twisting facts and setting someone else up to take the fall when the trouble happens.
The justifications that the narcissist is capable of making to pathologise his or her behaviour are incredible.
Narcissists are disordered; their brain wiring is maladapted to circuits that are not healthy, or humane. The narcissist can justify immoral, inhumane and criminal behaviour easily because their soul was sold to serve the one true master – The False Self – long ago.
It’s important to understand narcissists will believe, firmly, that the person they are setting up to take the blame is at fault. Their minds are highly adept at creating a self-delusional story that exonerates their “above reproach at all costs” ego. Once this story has been replayed through the narcissist disordered mind a few times – it is TRUE to the narcissist. That is the extent of the disorder – superiority and impunity are necessary for the narcissist’s emotional survival.
This can seem incredibly personal – until we understand that narcissists are operating out of horrendous childish survival fears. The narcissist’s unconscious drivers are entrenched in this defence: “If I am exposed as wrong I’ll be annihilated,” which triggers the narcissist’s biggest fear – the bottom line terror of the ego – the fear of NOT existing.
The narcissist believes he or she must be seen as “perfect.” However, the intense fear and defences conversely create the narcissist’s character as not just “imperfect” but also highly disordered and damaged.
This becomes blatantly obvious if the spotlight is on the narcissist for any accountability for his or her actions or non-actions. This is when the narcissist becomes the most unhinged, or the most dishonest and manipulative.
He or she will do anything to avoid personal fault and scrutiny, and if someone can be scapegoated, the narcissist will employ this tactic.
Read more on Narcissists in the Workplace and what to do in this article – https://bit.ly/38013uD.
Much love xo ❤️