Severely character disordered family members are completely oblivious to the fact that we know they do not love others. They are too selfish to love which means they resent having to give anything of themselves.
We know when we are loved and when we aren’t. We know when the things they have done to us are wrong. Their abuse may confuse us because they are supposed to love us, but we know deep down when we are being abused and that there is something not right with them.
To stay connected to our family means we must justify our abuse, with the same excuses our abusers tell us why they mistreat us. For too long, we go along to get along only to see that nothing changes. Who they are and how they choose to treat us is 100% their choice.
The mindset to hold is that our family members choose to manipulate and abuse and masquerade it as love. This doesn’t mean we have to continue buying into it. We can also make the choice to totally disengage from them. That can our choice.
Let me introduce you to Drayke Hardman.
He was 12 years old.
This week, he hung himself with his favorite hoodie from his bunk bed.
His bunk bed.
“Children are resilient”
They are people.
They have huge feelings and minimal coping skills, because THEY ARE BABIES.
It’s our job to change the narrative.
It starts with us, as parents.
It stops with us, as parents.
His story is below.
Let it break your heart.
Let it change you.
Let it change all of us.
We have to do better.
Please, stop right now and talk to your kids.
“Drayke Andrew Hardman was born to his loving parents Samie and Andrew Hardman on May 26th 2009. Drayke was incredibly loved by his family, he loved sports and had such a kind spirit. Drayke just wanted to be friends with everyone. Drayke had the biggest, bluest eyes. Sadly, Drayke had been experiencing bullying at school. His bully would pick on Drayke for every little thing, but despite this, Drayke desperately tried to be his bully’s friend. His school and parents were aware, and his bully had been previously suspended for bullying Drayke. On Monday, Drayke had come home with a black eye, he confided in his sister that his bully had hurt him. Two days later, on February 9th, 2022 Drayke’s older sister found him hanging with his favourite hoodie from his bunk bed. Drayke’s father immediately started CPR until paramedics took over, after 15 minutes, his heart started beating but the damage had already been done. On February 10th, 2022 Drayke passed away surrounded by his family, he was 12 years old. After his death, his family have started raising awareness for suicide and bullying. Drayke will forever be remembered as a loving boy with a kind heart. RIP Drayke (26th May 2009 – 10th February 2022)”
Please be kind and stand up for others. Be proactive. Teach your kids.
Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 https://kidshelpline.com.au/
Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467 https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/
Headspace: 1800 650 890 https://headspace.org.au/
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 https://www.beyondblue.org.au/
Lifeline: 13 11 14 https://www.lifeline.org.au/
#draykehardman #doitfordrayke #suicide #suicideawarness #mentalhealthawareness #bullying #stopbullying #bekind
We are a nation of addicts by
grand design , lulled to sleep
under educated and fed untruths
I’m a truther and that’s cost me
the peace in life that has taught
Discoveries of ancestral shadow, and light .
Points to the horrible facts
that my paternal grandfather
had many addictions and was
highly abusive to my grandmother and their kids
He grew corn , fields of corn
He had boxes of cash in high
He pushed Granny Zola , causing her to fall and loose their son David .
He won in a divorce , accusing her of cheating
She was seen in a public place having coffee with a man
Her parents gave them 120 acres . She got nothing .
She left with the cloths on her back , Running for her life .
She was divorced in 1953. He prevailed .
The children of tender years were placed with relatives.
Her Mom died in 1953 .
She struggled for the rest of her life , various rentals etc
She was given Valium to aide her her loss , shame and awareness of the injustice .
She had 5 sons and 2 daughters
She came from at least 5 daughters and 2 sons .
She was the most loving human being on this planet !
I know I have cleared the blood lines , experiencing much of Minnie Zola’s trauma and am honored to have been in the presence of GreatGrandmother , Grandmother , in the spring of 1952 . Great Grandmother was in her heavy coat with a scarf on her head . As her 1st grandchild , by Dad I sense it was determined that day that I could and would end the shadow abuses and expose the forced addictions after living a nightmare , having that abuse supported by family , friends and church .
Dad had a very low tolerance for alcoholism and drank very little . I know he threw out Moms brother who showed up at out home after I was 12 or so.
An incident when I was younger of their being out dancing and a passionate disagreement occurred and Mom threw her rings into a patch of grass or a field . She took us back to the scene and I found it for her . I don’t recall their dancing and Honkey Tonkin after that .
Both parents smoked and that was addiction but I inherited Dad’s intolerance for alcohol but failed to be aware of mask and secret manipulation as I was triangles which was an early childhood awareness ; Mom was guarded and competitive with out cause . She did not understand the bond between Dad and I and it felt like a hole in my heart . I spoke the truth early on and got her in hot water with Dad whom she told she had quit smoking .
Emotional Partners ; not a healthy role for a child . As a medicated trauma and abuse victim I did the same injustice to our eldest child as did his Dad . Our son caught a lot of abuse due to his love for me .
I am proud to have gotten off the ” junk” RX and whole matrix of addiction legally that destroys lives or ends them .
However there was and is a lot of fallout and damage done and healing for our sons .
I have not been in the mindset to repeat any of the past and pushed through forced addictions and of feeling bound to someone who doesn’t stand beside me with an arm on my back , instead of a sword .
I’m addicted to the peace that my heart has always been a longing and my place in this world .
Recent challenges did not reverse my direction , my life long intent .
For this last major test I am grateful that so much was exposed and Krystal has helped release even more trauma which I was much better at , than times past .
Assured that I am not addicted in mind , body or spirit .
Blessings & Peace
“Put a rat in a cage and give it 2 water bottles. One is just water and one is water laced with heroin or cocaine. The rat will almost always prefer the drugged water and almost always kill itself in a couple of weeks. That is our theory of addiction.
Bruce comes along in the ’70s and said, “Well, hang on. We’re putting the rat in an empty cage. It has nothing to do. Let’s try this a bit differently.” So he built Rat Park, and Rat Park is like heaven for rats. Everything a rat could want is in Rat Park. Lovely food. Lots of sex. Other rats to befriend. Colored balls. Plus both water bottles, one with water and one with drugged water. But here’s what’s fascinating: In Rat Park, they don’t drink the drugged water. They hardly use it. None of them overdose. None of them use in a way that looks like compulsion or addiction. What Bruce did shows that both the right-wing and left-wing theories of addiction are wrong. The right-wing theory is that it’s a moral failing, you’re a hedonist, you party too hard. The left-wing theory is that it takes you over, your brain is hijacked. Bruce says it’s not your morality, it’s not your brain; it’s your cage. Addiction is largely an adaptation to your environment.
Now, we created a society where significant numbers of us can’t bear to be present in our lives without being on something, drink, drugs, sex, shopping, even our phones… We’ve created a hyperconsumerist, hyperindividualist, isolated world that is, for many of us, more like the first cage than the bonded, connected cages we need.
The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection. And our whole society, the engine of it, is geared toward making us connect with things not people. We no longer focus on bonding with other people, we now bond with stuff. In fact, we are trained from a young age to focus our hopes, dreams, and ambitions on things to buy and consume. Drug addiction is a subset of that.” #TheAllAmericanAddict
Have you ever realized how lonely it is when you are in a relationship with a narcissist they can be in the same room with you and you still feel alone. That is because they are emotionally withdrawn from you. We are so confused because of the love bombing stage in the beginning how this person seems to have changed overnight and all those great loving emotions have turned into hateful spiteful hurtful cold undertones. That’s because the love bombing stage is fake it is all fake narcissist once again depending on where they are in the scale don’t feel empathy or sympathy to the degree that we need in order to sustain a healthy relationship. If you’re dealing with a malignant narcissist which is pretty much antisocial personality disorder then they are emotionally impotent entirely void of the capability of caring or nurture. When they do show love or nurture it is false it is just the mask they are wearing. It’s very hard to accept the person you love and care for doesn’t love you but you have to realize and you must accept that they can’t even if they wanted to. It is best for you to become indifferent, to start the journey of separation to remember that all the hurtful things they say and do is the real them take the steps to safely let go so you can find love and be loved where you can love and have it in return.
Never Knew Lonely , by Vince Gill
Bullied children grow up robbed of the benefits of what I like to call their “natural inheritance” — all the positive traits and qualities they possess, are born with and/or work hard to obtain and build. Abusers and bullies (whether they be narcissistic parents or even childhood peers with burgeoning narcissistic and/or antisocial traits) often subject these innocent children to their malignant and envious bullying. They teach their victims to see themselves through the distorted lens and projections of their abusers — they are fed lies about themselves that more accurately reflect the traits of the bullies who know these victims surpass them. Until the victim gets accurate feedback outside of the abusive environment, they often do not realize how intelligent, talented, beautiful, and valuable they are. They are still seeing themselves and treating themselves the way their abusers trained them to do so. They don’t get direct access to benefiting from these traits until they see themselves accurately (i.e. an intelligent child continually called “stupid” by their bullies will usually hide their abilities to avoid being mocked, and due to low self-confidence created by the bullying). That’s why deprogramming these messages are so vital in adulthood — and figuratively/mentally handing back malignant projections to their bullies where they belong. These bullies were describing themselves all along and got to put themselves on a pedestal by targeting a scapegoat that represented everything they did not possess. You deserve the rights to your natural inheritance and to see yourself accurately. 💝
#narcissisticabuse #childhoodbullying #complextrauma #ptsd #cptsd
The narcissist Sociopath and psychopath are extremely tactical at what they do. their patient and their goal is to convince everyone else that they are the good guy the nice guy or a girl while you are the unstable one insane crazy dramatic over-the-top even abusive they have ways of doing this they practice it when it’s just you and them they will be calm well collected but say some thing that they know will trigger you because they know all your triggers at first you don’t react over the top but they’re gonna watch your emotion build and then they will continue to say more and more triggers until you finally react with reactive abuse. Then they will say something like I am not going to speak with you if you were going to treat me this way I’m not gonna tolerate it. I’m not going to engage with you when you are irrational you’re acting crazy. Then they will ignore you or Stonewall you which will only increase your rage or your emotional rage. I should say you will feel like you were going crazy remember this is all part of their plan after a while they will start doing this in front of people it
especially if you have children they will really do this in front of them making mom look insane While the narcissist looks like the good guy or calm and composed trying to calm down the victim. keep in mind that this individual this abuser has already been talking to everyone else behind your back trying to convince everybody that you’re the crazy one that they are the victim of abuse. In actuality you are the victim of severe abuse but no one is going to believe you because they appear so nice so calm so rational it’s psychological warfare and when you are going up against people that have no morals feel no empathy or sympathy no remorse no guilt and live only to serve their own needs and wants it is damn near impossible to beat them at their own game. These individuals are highly dangerous whether they are the physical or not doesn’t matter the emotional toll emotional damage can take years and years to unravel and rewire the best way to handle these people when they are trying to trigger you it’s a gray rock them which can be very difficult when your emotions are running so high. Just remember to look for the signs to notice what they’re doing and when they’re doing it and leave the room do not let them trigger you you’re far more powerful than you think these individuals do not go after weak people They go after people with high supply, people with empathy sympathy intelligence love happiness all the things that they themselves lack they are like a dark void trying to suck all your light out don’t give it to Them and they’ll get bored with you and eventually leave. But don’t think it’ll stop there they have a tendency to try to keep you on the hook continue the abuse even after you’re gone especially if you have children but you can guard yourself against them.