Life With a Narcissistic Parental Alienator

Certainly seems alien

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Parental alienation is probably the hardest experience you will ever go through and screws you up mentally and emotionally. I know because I have been there too!

The alienating parent’s childhood trauma may have been triggered by the separation/divorce, and they fear abandonment, feeling worthless and empty, and losing control – so they rewrite the narrative, recasting all the roles. Good parent becomes bad. Victimizer becomes victim. They cling to the child/ren as the emotional attachment bonds with their spouse/partner sever.

I also know that although it was the alienator that put you onto this emotional rollercoaster, ONLY YOU can get yourself off. Every day that you sit on that ride experiencing pain, is another day that the alienator wins. It is another day that you are less able to help your children and your family.

Many of us need help to get off the rollercoaster, learning how to best support our children in ways to be more effective in dealing with alienators.

The Personal Authority 9-Step Program can start making a difference to your life in just a few weeks. DM me and start taking back control today!

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Highly Toxic Parent

At their core, the alienating parent is afraid, jealous and cannot bear to think there could be time spent, let alone love given, to anyone but themselves. Their wounded ego needs revenge, and this will be inflicted on anyone (especially a ‘target’ parent) who exposes the truth of who they are inside (often triggered by separation/divorce – it can’t be their fault). They can’t bear it. They even hide from themselves. To deal with this, they try and control everyone and everything. They rewrite the narrative. They encourage and magnify any natural discord that happens in the course of childhood with parents. The children are coercively controlled, and weaponised. They’re not allowed independent thought or any positive feelings or even memories about the ‘other’ parent. But the child/ren loved you, and they still do, they’ve just been ‘indoctrinated’ to think otherwise. Once they remove their gas mask, their toolkit of survival, they can breathe. They can live their sovereign lives as they deserve. They can reunite with you. Please see more of my posts at:

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#familylaw #familycourt #highconflictdivorce #parentalalienation #parentalalienationawareness #coparentingwithanarcissist #childcustody #custodybattle #parentalalienationischildabuse #parentalalienationisacrime #fathersrights #mothersrights #parentalalienationsyndrome #cognitivedistortions #psychologicalsplitting #familyviolence #survivingparentalalienation #generationaltrauma #hostileaggressiveparenting #parentalalienatingbehaviours #FamilyLaw #falseallegations #alienatedparent #parenting #alienated #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #coercivecontrol #childrenfirst #StopParentalAlienation #fathersrights #mothersrights #reunification #coparentingwithanarcissist #emotionalabuse #psychologicalabuse #traumabonding #divorcinganarcissist #EndParentalAlienation #consciousparenting #consciousparent #consciousparentingcoach #childhoodtrauma #targetparent #targetedchild #parentalrights #childsupport #Custody #cognitivedistortions #splitting #familyviolence #survivingparentalalienation

Names – Childress explains 1st name calling by child

Associated Clinical Sign 4: Parental Replacement

If a child starts calling a parent by the parent’s first name, this is a symptom of the absence of empathy for the child by the allied parent regarding the important role and person the mother or father is to a child.

Moms are always “mom” and dads are always “dad” because that’s how the child sees the world. To call the parent by their first name is to kill the parent for the child.

Empathy for the child does not do that. Spousal anger does that for revenge.

The symptom of ACS-4 is nearly (is) 100% diagnostic for the pathology – it never occurs anywhere… except here in the family courts.

It’s having the child kill their own parent. It’s a symptom of cruelty, an absence of empathy and understanding for the child – moms are always “mom” – dads are always “dad.” The child only has one of each.

Another variant of ACS-4 Parental Replacement that occasionally displays is when the child begins to call the new step-parent of the narcissistic parent “mom” or “dad.” This is the replacement proper – because people are expendable.

ACS 4: Parental Replacement is not always present, but when it is, it is nearly (is) 100% diagnostic of the pathology. One parent, the allied parent, is having the child kill the other parent – the cruelty and absence of empathy for the child is phenomenal.

Child abuse is the failure of empathy, and the failure of parental empathy IS child abuse – they are flip sides of the same coin.

From Moor & Silvern: “The act of child abuse by parents is viewed in itself as an outgrowth of parental failure of empathy and a narcissistic stance towards one’s own children. Deficiency of empathic responsiveness prevents such self-centered parents from comprehending the impact of their acts, and in combination with their fragility and need for self-stabilization, predisposes them to exploit children in this way.” (Moor & Silvern, 2006, p. 95)

From Moor & Silvern:“Only insofar as parents fail in their capacity for empathic attunement and responsiveness can they objectify their children, consider them narcissistic extensions of themselves, and abuse them. It is the parents’ view of their children as vehicles for satisfaction of their own needs, accompanied by the simultaneous disregard for those of the child, that make the victimization possible.” (Moor & Silvern, 2006, p. 104)

Moor, A. and Silvern, L. (2006). Identifying pathways linking child abuse to psychological outcome: The mediating role of perceived parental failure of empathy. Journal of Emotional Abuse, 6, 91-112.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

A too typical experience in Family Court

After 4 years, 5 attorneys and $150k in attorney fees, and never seeing a courtroom, I have decided to be my own advocate.

Yesterday I filed my first motion as an “attorney”. #goingprose

My case is to the point of “timing out” per the rules of Supreme court. The last motion I received from my attorney was a proposal for me to sign a motion that restricted me from any contact with my kids per the recommendation of the GAL, David Mesaros. This is ridiculous. So I refused to sign and fired my attorney.

Now the magistrate, Barbara Reno, will need to answer to the #supremecourt on why she has to dismiss 9 motions that were never heard in court or agreed upon outside of court, why I didn’t sign the agreement and fired my attorney and now representing myself.

It has been proven that both parents needs to be involved in the children’s lives. To make it worse, the GAL did not follow the law of what is requested of him in his duties. #law

It’s hard to explain the psychological factors that affect the children to the point where they beg you to stop fighting for them.

So this time my mission is much larger and with the support and encouragement and advice from friends and professionals, I am making a stance in a larger way using my case as an example to show how corrupt the system is.

We all have an American right to file grevienaces and I plan on doing so.

endparentalalienation. #Fightingforfamilies

#prose

Splitting as a Result of Child Psychological Abuse

A child who has been induced into aligning with one parent against another has to survive this trauma however they can. Often they ‘split’ and this is to almost become a different person. It has been described as a ‘false persona’ while the true self is in itself alienated and hidden behind a false facade. This makes it ‘easier’ to cope with having to take on the false persecutory beliefs of the alienating parent who they feel they must align with (to survive). In this way, we could see the child’s anger, criticism, disdain, and rejection of the ‘other’ parent, as coping mechanisms too. They just can’t deal with it all. They’re dealing with coercive control, lies, enmeshment … they have been weaponised against a previously loved parent (they still do love). But at some point, when the child/ren has that ‘lightbulb moment’ and starts to see things different/more independently, it is extraordinarily difficult for them/their ego to accept how they’ve been played. The shame and guilt is huge. The false persona has to be replaced with the true, authentic self. They have to deal with feelings of anger towards the alienating parent, and learn to forgive and understand why they did what they did. They have to find a way to forgive the mental health and legal system that supported their continued alienation from a loving parent – from the healthy-minded parent. This child needs to reconnect, not only with their alienated parent but also their true self who split off in order to cope. This is why the target/alienated parent must do all they can to empower themselves with an understanding of the pathology, and emotional and mental resilience, despite a shocking lack of support out there, and the anti-PA campaigners. Strive to be happy. Stay strong.
Please see more of my posts on Instagram. I post 2-6 each day to spread awareness about parental alienation, to inform and to uplift. I hope they help.
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parentalalienationischildabuse #narcissisticabuse #highconflictdivorce #narcissisticabusesurvivor #divorcinganarcissist #consciousparent #consciousparenting #childrenfirst #parentalalienation #reunification #stopparentalalienation #fathersrights #fathersrightsmovement #mothersrights #coparentingwithanarcissist #onlinecoaching #selfcare #selflove #healing #healingjourney #positivementalattitude #positivementalhealth #parentalalienationawareness #survival #traumabonding #endparentalalienation #alienatedparent #emotionalabuse #childhoodtrauma #generationaltrauma #hostileaggressiveparenting

Enmeshed In the Lies and Trauma Nothing Changes 18 does not bring Waking

When will the ALIENATED CHILD see the light/the bigger picture?

We wish for a sudden transformation at certain times, such as an 18th birthday, or when they go to college or university and have a more independent life, but it doesn’t, unfortunately, always happen like that. And on that note, those milestones, those dates in the diary that make us think of our alienated child more than usual, are particularly difficult. The best way to deal with those times is to do something you love, treat yourself, be with people you love and who love you. There is still love. But we miss them. We worry that the alienating behaviours become ingrained and passed down through another generation. It truly is a mental health crisis, and so desperately needs recognition and support. All we can do is work on ourselves, on our own mental and emotional resilience. To be a good example in their lives whenever they might see the bigger picture and want to reconnect. Keep lighting a candle for them on all those occasions, keep the love in your heart, keep going, stay strong.

Please see more of my posts on Instagram. I post 2-6 each day to spread awareness about parental alienation, to inform and to uplift. I hope they help. https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

#parentalalienationischildabuse #narcissisticabuse #highconflictdivorce #narcissisticabusesurvivor #divorcinganarcissist #consciousparent #consciousparenting #childrenfirst #parentalalienation #reunification #stopparentalalienation #fathersrights #fathersrightsmovement #mothersrights #coparentingwithanarcissist #onlinecoaching #selfcare #selflove #healing #healingjourney #positivementalattitude #positivementalhealth #parentalalienationawareness #survival #traumabonding #endparentalalienation #alienatedparent #emotionalabuse #childhoodtrauma #generationaltrauma #hostileaggressiveparenting

Hope for Child Psychological Abuse

May courts all over the world start to take more action against PARENTAL ALIENATION

In Israel, parental alienation is known as “Nikor horim”, and although the same concerns remain about there being little empirical evidence supporting the concept of PA, some courts in Israel are willing to take more action. In the case mentioned, the judge ordered the mother to pay 35,000 NIS in court fees. The couple separated in 2012, and the father tried many times to connect with his daughter, through the court. He submitted an appeal to cancel the 3,000 shekels (US$850 approx) he paid monthly in child support because of the ‘lack of connection. The judge noticed the mother’s lack of cooperation with the father’s efforts to see his daughter, and found the father had done all he could and was not at fault. The judge then made his ruling, favourable to the father, noting that the cancellation of child support would not harm the mother’s ability to care for the daughter as she’d sold a home worth 5 million shekel (about US$1.5 million) didn’t need to work to earn money, and had refused to submit her finances and income to the court.

May courts all over the world start to take more action! Of course, where parents have legitimate reasons to refuse or limit contact with the other parent and the child, where there are safety issues, this is a child protection issue and not parental alienation. They need to be able to identify the false allegations. But where parental alienation occurs because the parent is angry, or doesn’t think the other parent ‘deserves’ contact, or because of narcissistic personality disorders … this needs to be examined, and action taken accordingly, including fines for parents who defy orders to cooperate. Please see more of my posts on Instagram. I post 2-6 each day to spread awareness about parental alienation, to inform and to uplift. I hope they help. https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

#parentalalienationischildabuse #narcissisticabuse #highconflictdivorce #narcissisticabusesurvivor #divorcinganarcissist #consciousparent #consciousparenting #childrenfirst #parentalalienation #reunification #stopparentalalienation #fathersrights #fathersrightsmovement #mothersrights #coparentingwithanarcissist #onlinecoaching #selfcare #selflove #healing #healingjourney #positivementalattitude #positivementalhealth #parentalalienationawareness #survival #traumabonding #endparentalalienation #alienatedparent #emotionalabuse #childhoodtrauma #generationaltrauma #hostileaggressiveparenting

Sometimes info comes late :Backward Steps in PA ( Can of Worms )

Mentioning ‘Parental Alienation’ – it’s like a can of worms

The best practice is not to tell an alienated child they have been alienated, which basically is to say they’ve been fooled, manipulated, coerced, lied to brainwashed, and abused. They won’t like being told this! They believe they have independent thoughts, they decided all on their own to hate, blame and reject you. Even when you had a previously loving relationship, their stories don’t stack up, they’ve not heard your point of view, and you hear them repeating lies and fabrications, don’t say the dreaded words: parental alienation. They will insist their beliefs were definitely not programmed into them by a favoured/aligned parent. Remember these behaviours and beliefs were, over a period of time, almost forced on them and they adopted them as a means of survival. Best to avoid this conversation until they grow up, until they come to you with questions because you’re actually a loving, sane, calm, happy parent. They are not stupid, and when they truly become independent thinkers, and de-programme, they will have questions one day.Please see more of my posts on Instagram. I post them there first, two to six each day. They’re there to spread awareness about parental alienation, to inform and to uplift. I hope they help.

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