Coming Around by Eric

A very sad example of the tragic abuses of child psychological abuse .

The alienation started when my daughter was born. I wasn’t allowed to ever have her overnight. When she was 4 she told me that mommy said you’re not my dad while we were driving in the car. When her mom’s second marriage was ending in divorce her husband told me that my daughter’s mom would lie about my daughter being available for visits. She lied to the court about me paying child support, and told them I was selling drugs. Another lie. My daughter was appointed a court attorney that sided with her mom. I was told by my daughter’s attorney to send her texts of funny cat videos as a way to connect with her. I was ordered to pay the attorney fee. My daughter became more despondent. She became afraid of me because of what my ex was feeding her. My family would send cards and gifts with zero response. The last meaningful visit I had with my daughter was when she was 9 yo. I had brief text exchanges with my daughter in the following years. Sending her money for Christmas, and birthdays(child support aside). My last communication with her was right before her 18th birthday. I was told by most of family and friends that she would come around, and to be patient. Which I fully held out hope for. June 23rd of this year my daughter passed away. I am devastated. My anger towards her mother is something I’ll be dealing with for the rest of my life.
Please never give up, and don’t wait for them to “come around”.

Living Bereavement

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How does the Japanese animated film, Spirited Away, relate to parental alienation? For a start, the brilliant Studio Ghibli aren’t afraid to delve into the darker, more fearful aspects of childhood, much like the brothers Grimm in an earlier era. The film captures what it’s like to be a child who finds herself transported into a strange, bewildering place. Chihiro’s parents are turned into pigs for stealing food from spirits, and she has to find a way to survive a terrifying adult world by regaining her basic human rights, through toil and struggle, in order to find her freedom (and rescue her parents too). Also, the experience of alienation is like having our children spirited away from us by adults who put their own needs above that of the children. It is called a living bereavement. The sense of loss is huge, and we grieve. Our children are alive but taken to a place where we struggle to reach them, communicate, and keep our relationship with them alive. I get quite a lot of messages of despair, and my heart goes out to each and every target parent who is suffering through the experience of alienation. I’ve been there myself. But I am here to say you can survive it. I did, and I am now doing all I can to help others do the same.

Childress : Let’s Roll

What happens when Bill Bernet dies, what happens to the Gardnerian PAS movement? Who takes over?

Not to be morbid, but Bill’s old, I’m old, what happens when we depart? With AB-PA, I’m not involved so everyone just goes on applying the knowledge of Bowlby, Minuchin, and Beck, the established scientific knowledge of the disciple.

But when Bill departs for the hinterlands, who follows him as the leader of the PAS-squad? Linda Gottlieb? No. Amy Baker? She’s a researcher. Jennifer Harman? She’s likely going down with Linda. Karen Woodall is in England… Demosthenes Lorandos? I don’t think he’ll have the clout to carry a movement… and with Dr. Childress attacking on Standard 2.04 and 2.01, I don’t think Demosthenes is going to be the next leader.

I don’t see one. Who’s the rising young star of Gardner’s PAS model? All the early career psychologists will go toward AB-PA because it gives them more expanse to grow into their profession.

I think we’ve reached the time death for Gardner’s PAS model. We’re watching the final death throes of PAS.

Everything shifts to the forensic psychologists. The DV-monkeys are active and howling, with Kayden’s Law they smell victory. They want Dorcy… the no “reunification workshops” of Kayden’s Law could be called the Dorcy Clause, and it could equally read – “No Dorcy.”

The pathogen hates Dorcy, frothing hatred. The pathogen hates her because it knows she has the cure of its pain, the cure for the pathology – the pathogen knows she sees it… and solves it.

For over a decade the pathogen has tried to destroy Dorcy with every manner of slander and attack. She’s still here. Stupid pathogen.

There is no way Dorcy, an unlicensed professional, survives a decade in the immensely hostile world of the family courts… unless she’s the real-deal.

She’s the real-deal. That’s why she has the full support of Dr. Childress – she’s had my full support since 2014 and I haven’t wavered.

We’re going into Kayden’s Law world now, here come the DV-monkeys. They want to stop Dorcy – by legislation. Stay close, Dorcy. I’m at your side on the battlefield and I’m not going anywhere.

Bring it. It’s time. Let’s do this and finish this.

We need to end the fight-and-fight surrounding the child. So let’s do that. If that means more fighting for a while… okay. Let’s do it and get it done… so we can move forward.

I formed a Facebook group with Dorcy, the Alliance to Solve Parental Alienation. I got it up to 16,000 members… then I left. I gave the group to Dorcy. I had a platform of 16,000 members and I gave it away.

Why?

Because I am entering a period of conflict. I carry the voice of destruction. Dorcy is all about reunion and bonding. We are carrying different energies to the same purpose.

I wanted to maintain the separation to keep her clean from the fight-and-fight to come… my job. My people, my job.

She can remain focused on her role. Each to our role, you have the most special role of all. Dorcy will explain it.

Battle’s coming. I hear the horns, do you hear them? I do. They’re calling us, it’s time. Break out the drums and pipes, don your armor, prepare.

The paradigm is shifting.

The outcome I recommend is an AB-PA/High Road pilot program for the family courts with university involvement for evaluation research. I’d recommend Stanford Forensic Psychiatry as the PI. If you want a solution, that is the solution.

They don’t want a solution… yet. We just need to get their attention first. That will be happening soon.

The change agents I’m using do not create incremental change – they create transformational change. They’re different change agents than most people use, sort of a craftsman’s art of change.

There’s big change and little change, and then there’s transformations, an entirely different change agent set. The transformational change agents come from humanistic-existential psychology. They’re hard to use.

Most people don’t know how to create transformational change.

Dorcy used contextual change agents, no one else uses the change agents she uses. I wouldn’t call them complicated or hard, I’d call them elegant and immensely effective for trauma pathology.

Psychotherapy uses change agents based on the treatment school, cognitive behavioral use their change agents, family system therapy uses its agents of change, psychoanalysis uses it’s change agent approaches.

None of them use a context-based change agent like Dorcy in her High Road workshop. That’s why when we co-presented her High Road ABA single-case data to the national convention of the American Psychological Association I submitted to Division 24 Society for Theoretical and Philosophical Psychology.

By analogy, if psychotherapy were all the different types of carbon-based lifeforms, Dorcy’s change agent approach is like a silicon-based life form – entirely unique.

Everything is headed for the Tower of Destruction, watch as it all collapses – the Gardnerians – the forensic psychologists – the approach in the family courts – everything is changing.

Because it needs to change.

Dr. Childress & Dorcy Pruter will hold the center of the battlefield. Not a chance we’re budging. We know exactly where we are, and we’re exactly where we are supposed to be, doing exactly what we are supposed to do.

Your turn. You’re the chosen parent. You’re the protective parent. You’re the authentic parent. It’s time to live into your role. You just need support. You have support. Let’s go get you more.

Ignore the chaos, ignore the destruction. That’s my job. Remain focused on your task… you want a written treatment plan to fix things… for that you’ll need a diagnosis… for that you’ll need a proper assessment to reach an accurate diagnosis to guide the development of an effective treatment plan to fix things.

Because it’s always in the child’s best interest to fix family conflict. So let’s do that.

I want Valkyries.

Craig Childress, Psy..D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Waiting for an Opening , and much needed change ( abused parent-child)

Unfortunately, too often alienated parents are told to ‘wait for their kid to come around someday.’ Even more unfortunate, too many parents listen to that.
I was an alienated child. Then an alienated ADULT child. Still a child nonetheless. I know what your minor and adult child actually wants–a relationship with you. Despite all the negative things they say and do, they actually want their parent. They want to love and be loved by you. But guess what? When parents decide to wait around & then stop showing up for their alienated child, this sends a counterproductive message to the child, which adds to their confusion. In short, if you want to reunite with your child, it is going to take a lot more than simply waiting around. Not sure where to go from here? Luckily, I have a webinar and in-depth program for parents who want to learn what it takes to reunite with an adult child. I reunited with my dad as an adult, and he and I (and his grandchildren) got to experience the relationship we always deserved.
All you have to do is click the link below to get started- it starts with you. Let’s go get your [adult] kids back.🧡💪🏼https://www.consciouscoparentinginstitute.com/reunited-replay/

New Term : Ethical Distraction

This is extremely enlightening !

We have work before us , and it’s wayyyyy past time !

Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

citizensforparentalrights.com/federal-money-and-cps/

Child Psychological Abuse

Some of the ways alienators will abuse and manipulate their children is by making them believe lies that will become foundational to their control.

Here are a few:
Your other parent is dangerous.
Your other parent doesn’t care for you.
Your other parent is unavailable for you.
Your other parent is a bad influence.

Which then leads to the abuser being the “better” choice:
I am the only parent who truly loves you.
I am the only parent who keeps you safe.
I am the only parent who is here for you.
I am the parent who sacrifices everything for you.

And results in the child having feelings of:
Betrayal (towards the alienator) for still desiring their “bad” parent.
Feeling guilty when they talk to or communicate with their “bad” parent.
Only being able to love and interact with their abuser.