Tag: Dire Results Of Domestic Abuse

Attachment Pathology- Craig Childress PsyD

Novi Sad, Serbia – 4/28/23

This is a pathology of lies. Everything – everything – surrounding this pathology is a lie.

What you take for reality, is a lie.

This presents as a custody conflict. That is a lie. One parent drives the family conflict into the legal system to abuse the ex-spouse by making it as hard as possible to see their child, and costing them thousands and thousands of dollars fighting in court.

It is financial and emotional abuse of the ex-spouse from a desire to put them on “trial” for being a bad parent (spouse) and making the targeted spouse-and-parent defend themselves against false allegations of being abusive of their child.

This isn’t about custody. Custody is simple. It’s either shared 50-50 or one parent gets school-week and the other gets every-other-weekend.

This isn’t about custody, it’s about pathology. A child rejecting a parent is an attachment pathology – a problem (pathology) in the love-and-bonding system of the brain.

The ONLY cause of severe attachment pathology (a child rejecting a a parent) is child abuse by one parent or the other. In all cases of court-involved custody conflict, a proper risk assessment needs to be conducted to the appropriate differential diagnosis for each parent.

All cases. It should be routine, and the diagnostic assessment protocol should be standardized at the highest professional quality. When possible child abuse is a considered diagnosis, our diagnosis needs to be accurate 100% of the time.

We can do that. We need to do that. We never abandon a single child to child abuse. Not one. We always protect the child from all forms of child abuses 100% of the time.

All forms.

This isn’t about custody. That’s a lie. This is about pathology and its treatment. Attachment pathology. We need a proper risk assessment for child abuse to the appropriate differential diagnosis, and we need an effective treatment plan to fix the attachment pathology displayed by the child.

A pilot program for the family court with university involvement for evaluation research would greatly assist in developing high-quality diagnostic assessment and treatment protocols for the family courts.

We need to end the fighting surrounding the child. This is not complex. It is simple. The ONLY thing that’s missing is the motivation to solve it.

That’s changing. I traveled to the Balkans because it’s changing there.

I encourage the professionals in Serbia and the Balkans to consider an APA presentation in 2024 in Seattle to inform your American colleagues of your developments in your approach to court-involved attachment pathology surrounding child custody conflict.

Come visit me in the Pacific Northwest in 2024. We’ll go visit Mt. Rainier and take in a Mariners game. I’m confident the APA would welcome an international submission. You have top-tier professionals working toward a solution. Work for a year, then come and tell us about it.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Why doesn’t she leave?

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because he has her so brainwashed that it’s all her fault and that she’s no good to anyone and no one will want her or love her and there’s no way she can possibly make it on her own.

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because she thinks that if she just tries harder and if she’s a better wife and a better mom that maybe he will be happy with her and he wouldn’t get so angry with her. And maybe he will be the same sweet, charming man that he was when they first met.

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because he has her convinced that if she tries he will hurt or kill her or her family. Because he has threatened to tell the judge that she is a bad mom and will take away her kids and she will never see them again. Because he has taken away her money and convinced her that she has no good job qualities to make it on her own financially and she will always need him.

More people are concerned with why women stay in abusive relationships than why men are abusing women. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship people have no idea how hard it is to escape. Abusers are able to fool those outside the home because they usually only abuse those inside the home.

They need your support.

They need your love.

They do not need your judgement.

Let’s raise awareness 💜

#domesticviolenceawarenessmonth #DVAM2021 #purplethursday

#befearless #lovedoesnthurt #abusenomore #walkingonabundance #thereisnolackinyourlife #UnityInPink&Purple2021 #Courage #BeBrave #ShowUp #StepUp #RisingStrong

The Medicalization of the American Mind – Mad In America

As I experienced the pathology of a diagnosis that was false; a cover up for Domestic, Spiritual,Emotional and financial abuse , I found myself loosing everything . Family destroyed, children ignored and after years of investment in the healing of children , I am surrendering to further investment in myself , with children who like their mother/father guide of 20 years plus , has a trauma bond , secrets, shame etc that’s predominate over healing . Ie : stuck, in denial, or desirous of my demise.

I have been toughened up enough to not show emotions , and not to invest my energies , where I’d prefer not to be any longer .

Watching on the sidelines, taking no interest in me whatsoever, living in distortions , and unforgiving . Knowing how their spirits and souls are affected , and not being heard , in any mode but shaming , blaming and disposal.

Our sons have been guided, by other mothers, wives and abusive relationships , that ” own ” them, and disallow that healing matters, due to the influence that healthy healing might have on their relationships.

Lashing out at me, years ago , requesting I commit suicide , not once but twice …setting me up to be illegally arrested …threatening me with exposure of sexual abuse , writing of these memories ,citing highly distorted experiences , 2 of 3 trying to buy my property , with no though to my future , deny the fact that healing is needed.

With knowledge and awareness of the destiny of actions and none actions , I have no choice but to release , forgive their actions/non actions , for a past , and present that is far from normal , far from love , that prefers secrets, disposal and non forgiveness , and I am assured and assuring that these shadow energies will not be my future.

My efforts to heal myself , will not be breached, of this I am sure , as everything I knew of love was attempted to be destroyed , but I held on .

My prayers for a life of spirit , of sharing experiences and wisdoms are at hand , after much effort , I know my worth , and pray for the deliverance of each child, and adult that lost their normal, natural path , due to a distorted, partner, addictive and abusive , debilitating drugging by psychiatry who have been instrumental in ” erasing families “.

Failure with my own children , who prefer status quo , has taught me well, as years of co council with young people their age , who favor me , and my wisdoms .

While that may not be my future , one on one for the drain on my energy , I will be writing , reading and moving forward unfettered by grievances, abuses etc …for that’s exactly what’s most desired ..that I give up and give in, which just isn’t realistic. Generational trauma and abuse has been resolved , I understand and respect free will, and release the painful , often horrific experiences of past , and disallow any repeats .

Dona Luna 🐸✌️😘❤️

One cause of fragility? Pathologizing our children with psychiatric diagnoses and focusing on a medical solution to life’s problems.
— Read on www.madinamerica.com/2023/05/medicalization-american-mind/

Parent : Forgive Yourself and Release your Adult Child whose unforgiving

This came in , just when I needed to hear this message the most …..

youtube.com/watch

Abandonment Wounds

AT THE HEART OF ALL TRAUMA

At the heart of all trauma, a terrible sense of isolation, disconnection, loneliness.

Follow your trauma to its devastating core, friend, to its heart of darkness, and you will inevitably meet the abandonment wound, the pain of all pains.

Abandoned by mother, father. Forgotten and misunderstood by the world. Cast out of heaven and separated from the Godhead. Divided from life.

Of course, it’s an illusion. You were never separate from the mountains, the forests, the diamond drops of morning dew. You were never broken, never rotten at your core, never separate from the One. You were always loved. The terrible heart of darkness was always your own exquisitely beautiful heart of light, so fragile, so powerful, so loveable, so real.

Ultimately others cannot save us. Each of us are called to confront our aloneness, dive into the heart of our trauma, and find solace and sanctuary there. Others can hold our trembling hands but they cannot travel for us.

There is no external saviour, and the lie of love is that another human being – parent, partner, guru or god – can complete you.

No. Your completeness is in your brokenness. We cannot save each other but we can weep together, walk together, share our terror, our horror, our shame, our hope and our awe.

Walking in the forest at dawn, our eyes meet.

I recognise your longing as my own.

Love is a recognition.

Author: Jeff Foster

Artwork: Welder Wings

Forgiving – PAS/Child Psychology Abuse

Forgiveness involves learning to let go, and that is of great benefit to you. Forgiveness helps you to focus on your happiness and the good things in life. It is a decision you can make – replacing ill will with good-will. While you may have envisaged revenge or ‘an eye for an eye’ (which leaves everyone blind as the saying goes), you can make a choice to find peace of mind instead. This is decisional forgiveness. On an even deeper level, and harder to achieve, there’s emotional forgiveness. That’s when you’ve completely moved away from thinking about the person/people who have done you wrong. You no longer hold any negative feelings or dwell on the offence, hurt and harm inflicted. Reaching this stage takes time, but it is immensely beneficial to your health and well-being. It reduces the self-pity and ‘victimhood’ mentality, and eventually, this can disappear completely. It liberates you from being triggered or stuck in a cycle of grief and anger. How to achieve this? Try visualising that person (this might not be pleasant or easy at first) and understand why they did what they did. Time and distance make it a little easier to be objective. Feel the feelings that come up. Don’t suppress them. Why did they do this thing? Would they have done this to anyone they were with (it’s not about you)? So this is their problem, and they will continue having this problem long after you’ve moved on and let it go. Can you see the place of fear they’re coming from? Remember, somebody else’s decision to hurt you was not your fault. Have you ever behaved poorly and upset/offended/wilfully or inadvertently harmed someone else yourself? Have you forgiven yourself? Were you forgiven? It could be you behaved poorly when you didn’t know better at the time. You may have behaved the way you did, said, felt and done what you did back then because you had given away your power, and you were just trying to survive and cope the best you could. You didn’t know how much harm or hurt it would cause. Forgive yourself. Forgive others who have done the same thing. Stick with this, it’s not easy. It’s not to forget. We might never truly understand why why they did what they did. We can’t erase what’s happened, or minimise it. Nor do we want these people back in our lives. We don’t forgive to help the other person who hurt us, but we do it to heal our own wounds. Forgiveness is really for us. What we can do is reframe our thinking about the harm caused, and our reaction to it going forwards. The other person doesn’t have to be present. Think it, feel it, or write it down, and let it go. Burn the paper and see it go up in smoke. Imagine it’s gone from your life. Now here comes the really tough bit. Send love to your persecutor. There’s logic to this. Imagine how good things would be if they felt love not fear, and were not constantly at war with life and with you. Imagine how much easier life would be for your child if the alienating parent knew how to love – themselves and others. How much easier would life be. People in pain often cause pain to others. Send them love because if they are healed, the alienating behaviours will dissipate. They’ll no longer feel anger and fear and vengeance, if they’re actually happy and full of love. Imagine that. They may never apologize, or admit to their wrongdoing, they may never be happy and have good relationships, but that is no longer your problem once you let go of the hold they’ve had over you, the grief and anger you’ve been holding onto because of the injustice and harm they caused. Practice forgiveness anyway for your own sake.

If you like our posts, please help us help others by sharing our posts to other people and sites. My mission is to spread awareness about parental alienation, inform and uplift. We’re also on Instagram, and we’d love you to follow us there too.

https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

AND PLEASE DO JOIN ME ON MY NEW COMMUNITY PAGE. Thanks.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/3214325232164553

The Personal Authority 9 Step Program helps my clients understand and deal with their alienated child/ren, the alienating parent, plus how to overcome the mental and emotional issues that they experience. This program can help transform your experience of alienation and how you live your life. Typically people experience a change in mindset after a few weeks. Please send me a message if you are interested to know more, and I can send you testimonials and further details on what the program covers and the benefits you could gain.

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#alienatedparent

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#coparentingwithanarcissist

#highconflictdivorce

#familylaw

#FamilyCourt

#ParentalAlienationSyndrome

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#parentalguidance

#generationaltrauma

#custody

#custodybattle

#childrenfirst

Trauma Centric View of Mental Health

Beyond Psychiatry: A Trauma-Centric View of Mental Health

By Terry Baranski

Internal family systems therapy is a non-pathologizing method of working toward healing from trauma. The healing journey is therefore one of returning to wholeness by reconnecting with ourselves.

The beauty of IFS is that it’s fundamentally interwoven with every aspect of trauma: how trauma impacts us so dramatically, why our parts adapt to traumatic events in the ways that they do, and how they can be healed. While there’s no one-size-fits-all approach for trauma healing, my hope is that this quick look at IFS provides some context for how mental health can be approached in a very different way than is typical.

www.madinamerica.com/2023/03/beyond-psychiatry-trauma-centric/

Childress – Children as weapons

The pathology in the family courts is fundamentally a spousal abuse pathology using the child as the weapon.

The absence of empathy is the capacity for human cruelty.

The narcissistic value of spousal abuse is that it’s okay to be cruel to someone if they “deserve” it – then the narcissistic-abusive personality decides who “deserves” their cruelty.

Abusive Spouse: “Yeah, of course I hit her, my dinner was cold. She deserved it.”

Abusive Spouse: “Yeah, of course I slapped her around. She was mouthing off and talking back. She deserved it.”

The narcissistic value is that their victim “deserves” their cruelty. No one deserves cruelty.

That someone “deserves” cruelty is the distorted value system of IPV spousal abuse (Intimate Partner Violence) created by the absence of empathy.

The true value system is that we are not nice to other people because of who they are, we are nice to them because of who we are.

No one deserves cruelty. Everyone merits compassion and kindness… because that’s who we are. Compassion and kindness are good things.

Cruelty is not. The absence of empathy is a symptom of only three pathologies – narcissistic personality – antisocial personality (psychopathic) – autism. Rule out autism as the cause and there are only two options left to explain the symptom of cruelty.

The absence of empathy from the involved forensic psychologists for the grief and suffering of the targeted parent is a professional abomination. To lose your child is to lose everything. The grief and suffering is immense.

Being mom and dad is self-identity itself. To have that ripped away, to have love ripped away, will cause immense grief at loss. Where is the empathy from the forensic mental health people for the immense grief and suffering of the parent?

There are two dangerous pathologies in the family courts that require a proper risk assessment, 1) possible Child Psychological Abuse by an allied parent creating a shared persecutory delusion with the child, and 2) possible Spouse or Partner Abuse, Psychological (DSM-5 V995.82) of the targeted parent by the allied parent using the child as the weapon.

ACS-11, that the targeted parent “deserves” to be rejected, is the spousal abuse ACS. In recent research from Greenham, Childress, & Pruter (2023), ACS-11 Deserves to be Rejected was evident in all 46 families in high-conflict custody litigation – a 100% prevalence rate.

At it’s core, this is a spousal abuse pathology using the child as the weapon – DSM-5 V995.82 Spouse or Partner Abuse, Psychological.

In weaponizing the child into the spousal conflict, the pathological narcissistic-borderline-dark personality parent creates such significant pathology in the child, that a child abuse diagnosis becomes warranted – DSM-5 V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse.

Diagnosis guides treatment. The treatment for cancer is different than the treatment for diabetes. In all cases of court-involved child custody conflict surrounding attachment pathology displayed by the child, a proper risk assessment on two counts needs to be conducted to the appropriate differential diagnosis for each parent.

Is there child abuse? Is there spousal emotional and psychological abuse using the child as the weapon? In all cases of possible dangerous pathology – suicide, homicide, abuse (child, spousal, elder) – a proper risk assessment needs to be conducted.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857