If You Don’t KnowMe By Now – Simply Red

This song when current , was true and to the

degree that our marriage had never been

and was never going to be healthy .

How could he know me , as I had to know

why his hatred towards me ran so deep

as to withhold himself.

The rabbit hole was far deeper and darker

than any nightmare I had in my life .

Including my brief drug experimentation

illegally . I did not realized the many

inducted dis-eases with addictive “side effects”.

I have come to realize that both Grandmothers

had adverse side effects , of Valium, the mother

of Xanax to which I subsumed.

I do not know my Mother’s drug regimens due

to my own induced addiction state of hell.

There was much grief , shame and anger

as I healed , in being unavailable in these

passages that are often vulgar displays of

the lowest of vibrating energy . Former showed

up flanked my his parents in 99 when Mom

exited . Flagrantly showing his love , outside

our home , openly before , I was to discover

I saw the as a Christian’s , affirmation.

I was not allowed to participate when his

Dad exited, and have not been abled to

locate a grave site . A Beloved nephew , who

exited be for him , catalyzed his decline ,

his addiction to Paxil , which he handed out

to anyone who wanted to be happy , and

his fat laden diet aided in an aneurism

in a kidney .

( * my understanding of what was told to me

may or not be true.)

No lawsuit was chosen , a million dollar bill

for hospital care , (1 year) , and his being

kept alive by sheer will.

Her diet attempts , saw him run an errand

after dinner for a fast food burger 🍔!

A kindly man , he stayed in the flow , Docile

Domestication .

So I had no idea of the trauma and rages

exhibited without warning , that sadly

have no end toward me. Nor with the

most recent supply that escaped near dead …

There was nothing in shallow Hal, that

is missable , grieves me, shame me ,

haunts me, angers me , or I can attach love

to. The years , decades long of concern

for his soul growth, long acknowledged,

accepted , and surrendered him to Divine.

He certainly deserves the healing , and

I expect his continue supported effort at

protecting himself financially , and skimming

self healing .. socially acceptable.

Of all I know change has adverse effects on

him, until all’s in perfect order . Perfect doesn’t

exist .

I found myself actualizing a mirror , when

raging , in privacy in my home , alone

by saying the words , I could not say one

on one , and I scared myself ! Not yet grasping

how much I had mirrored former , my inner

child , so much rage induced by trauma

unhealed , unacknowledged , fired up

by prescription medications .

My left arm throbbed enough to signal

backing down , getting chiller .

Buddhism helped, and yet I allowed

myself to be triggered and responding

in trauma induced situations , until

my edification of Domestic Abuse / Child

Abuse , PharmaAbuse Legal Abuse ,

Medical Abuse , in a culture of suicide

are .

I tried then to be more aware , less toxic , and

kinder to myself .

I am considering carrying a hand mirror to

energy vampires , gone mad , as was my recent

attack by a busy man in a parking lot .

Bam , here see what I see?

Not your best choice.

Suicide rates , and violence escalates in

such transitional, times as we now find

our world in. No New World Order , No

End Days as many are signaling.

Heaven is pulling to Earth ,Earth is pulling

Heaven that will require change .

I exit the matrix of lack , and own my

light of love ❤️, that will never , ever feel

unworthy or unloved or alone .

©️

Blessings & Peace .

Doña Luna

Simply Red – Holding On

www.youtube.com/watch

Narcissists Use Trauma Bonding and Intermittent Reinforcement To Get You Addicted To Them: Why Abuse Survivors Stay

In general not recognized by profession , who

ignore or close their eyes to what trauma bonds

are , as in my case since a Dr had labeled me

despite my honesty from the get go that I was

hit , and targeted by win at all cost , ” family”

in denial that they were not perfect .

Sacrificing their grandchildren and me , was

a piece of cake.. a horrid truth I discovered

adversely affects more folks in hollowed halls

of law and men.

It’s a very good thing to witness healing of

this pick of speed as many wake to the erasure

of families , and the profit by bottom-feeders

whose deserving of being spotlighted , as

poster child’s , abuses that no Hail Mary

Father Forgive Me excuses . Holding this

abuse as excusable, is foolhardy, a higher

power begs surrender , residence puts

abusers , front and center .

I am more that ready , Thy Will Be Done

#FlyingMonkeys

©️

Blessings & Peace,

Doña Luna

Trauma bonds are intense, unshakeable attachments which occur in abusive relationships, making it difficult for abuse survivors to leave. Here are signs you might be trauma bonded to a narcissistic abuser.
— Read on blogs.psychcentral.com/recovering-narcissist/2019/03/narcissists-use-trauma-bonding-and-intermittent-reinforcement-to-get-you-addicted-to-them-why-abuse-survivors-stay/

For Abuse Survivors, Custody Remains a Means by Which Their Abusers Can Retain Control – Pacific Standard

This is a year old , and though my state does not has

not addressed this, and I can and will add supporters

and vision that addresses family in a consciousness

that is demanded for thriving, instead of serving .

Creating a safe foundation where each member is heard

seen , and knows they matter …it’s happening in greater

numbers that ever ..

#HarmonicHomesForFamilies

©️

Blessings & Peace,

Doña Luna

Despite growing evidence that abusers often use custody battles to retain control over their former spouses, Congress is still punting on basic protections for survivors.
— Read on psmag.com/

Cat Stevens – Where Do the Children play ?

Messengers , as aware , in these words by

Cat Stevens , poet truths , and it’s lovely

to hear these words , finally more wake

and we transform , breaking free of the

matrix.

#WillYouWhenToLiveAndWhenToDie

More have joined in waking to what

is, and creation of a new reality .

It’s a very good thing.

©️

DonaLuna

Blessings & Peace

www.youtube.com/watch

Narcisstic Cannot Answer this Question

This guy is so correct , I am triggered , at what

I must acknowledge.

I must retain my conciseness, acknowledging

watching the mentoring of this upon sons

the imprint, the demand and perhaps secrets

I cannot libel myself for , or insight ..

that this is trauma . Deeply held Trauma

vulnerable is not something they do.

Needs , are abused early on, utilized

by the parent , in love.

Our sons parked all that in me, as I was

induced into mental illness.. Awareness of

the AMA , induces , disease , A to Z

and I am going to grab a hot shower ,

Detox these truths of shadow

and head out into the Sunshine .

Days away from the writings of such clarity

and release, I am weak.

#NotMyMonkeyNotMyCircus.

🙏🏼#AllWillUnfloldInMyHighestGood

#ThyWillBeDone

#AllIsInDivineOrder

#SweetRelease

#PrayForOurChildInEachToIntergrateSafely

Blessings & Peace ,

DonaLuna

©️

www.youtube.com/watch

Black children commit suicide at twice the rate of white kids | Science News

I was unaware of this horrifying fact .

This must , this statistic will be transformed ,

transmuted , eradicated ..

©️

#WeGotThis ✔️💯🔥

The suicide rates for young black kids are higher than those of their white counterparts, a pattern that flips in older kids, researchers find.
— Read on www.sciencenews.org/article/black-children-commit-suicide-twice-rate-white-kids

The Narcissist & Silence

A very effect weapon, utilized 90%

of the time .. I am allowed only to

know , what serves ..I allow this

as it says so much about the with

holder.

Silence is judgement , a critical

with holding ; a detachment that

has an effect on me , due to Mom

her Mom, and former had it down

to an art .

Mentoring , Demanding , the same

from our sons , their families else

they loose favor , wills will reflect

as well as actions or non actions

that convey how unworthy I am of

his time or attention unless it benefits

him. So sudden communication , such

as last year’s contract signing , was irregular

beginning with , I have unblocked you

as if his partner was the blame for his

blocking, non communication .

How sad .

Silence , is a void that’s no longer acceptable

no longer tolerable , and will fade away connections

who do not initiate , or balance communication

with out justification ..

It deters , balance, and trust , and I find it

telling of internal dialog .

I have been graced by hearing that a need to

not overload , as the inability to receive

which was a gift .

I realize how zoned out he was , deep in his

own ever present misery ..

Projecting, blaming , ghosting , the MeMeMe

that has no US , was non partnership

that’s certainly been exhibited , abused

and ignored .

Self talk , was transmuted , with surrender

to who , what , when and where .. took a

lot of loads off my back that were not mine .

That’s liberation ..

Transforming this is a pleasure

©️

Blessing & Peace ,

Doña Luna

narcsite.com/2019/04/17/the-expanded-narcissistic-truths-no-4-6/