This song describes in part my experience and that of many boomers
who retain faith and hope , in a better world for all. In a society of suicide
we may have been induced into that society , duped that it was entirely
up to the individual ..Addictions became common , unexplainable, and
the individual who was already targeted by abuse with the home to such
a degree , that many stones lay in the road.
Who has not been held accountable ? Chemical /Pharmaceutical Corps co joined
with the AMA and APA and therapist who stay in the induction state due to
the enormous profit ..
Same reason a partner seizes the induction of illness of any kind to plot
an escape that only physically proves an abuse and ego that takes years
to get in alignment with their plan.
That does not detract from the totally casual partnership , that has no truth
being built on a foundation of friendship , that includes infidelity, withholding
information , emotionally, spiritually , financially, in order to have a body in house
to do whatever is wanted or needed .
Silence became the norm , 3 months after I do, when blessed with child became
a burden , I had to step out of .. I gained 30 lbs over my norm , our son was over
due , with the blatant disregard , disconnect as he discussed this problem
5 days a week at work.. He became the victim .. I became it , as he’s prone to
state , he had to marry me .
Wed 3/4/77 a year of great astronomy/astronomy, his wounds became
more clear and pronounced in the mask or his truth showed up in the
year of Chiron the wounded healer planet was discovered .
Our 1st son , bore his name , though he protested , I did not understand
his reasoning for not IV ing , as time bore out . 3/11/78, 2 weeks late
put his expected time of arrival was 2/28/78, my non Leap Year
His 🎂 birth even 2 weeks late , still bore out , his false assertion that
he had to marry me .
Yes he had to…I cooked , I cleaned , I cared , I looked presentable when we
went out , quickly pushing through the judgement and critical words of
his life long partner .. Yes , I belonged to him, and a child he did not mentally
or emotionally prepare for , refusing to take precaution for , lacking that
responsibility , showed up where it mattered most ..💰💰💰
Joy was not something I attach him to in those days ..
Mask of the corporate , secrets, family business , locked into place
he was more aware with our 2nd son, whose birth was stressful
and he was drunk, or hung over ..Back labor, was harsh and
he was indisposed until birth , decrying he always wanted a brother.
Our 3rd Son, was the unspoken , Well you know what you’re in for
as a single parent , stay at home Mom …
Yes , I began to know my place in his world , had no growth , no real
attachment , no foundation .. I had 3 sons to nurture , and I was allowed
and I tried to make that enough ..
I was not enough, I lived with that those last 5 years , as he searched for love
outside himself, still … I gave up on him…A desire to hold me in the same
possessive shadow in regards to our sons , who have no intimate connection
to me ..
As it appears , winner takes all..he cannot take what does not , and never did
belong to him..
Stones in the Road , were boulders that have been removed , as the facts are the
truth , long ago released from abuse that has continued beyond , beyond .
I am not the sledge hammer , I am the Mom who knows the light heals
and I can longer accept being a target that has resulted in our sons being
abused as well, their children , a tradition that can cease and desist .
Blessings and Peace ,
Doña Luna 🥰🎉❤️