Signs you’ve done your shadow work

“A person who laughs at his own weaknesses and faults realizes and recognizes his own ignorance.

He can easily evolve and rise to the supreme state of blissful laughter.

He can soon laugh, watching the whole universe as a play of God.”

-Amma ❤️

Child Abuse & Complex Trauma – Craig Childress PsyD

Is there evil?

Researchers have called the Dark Tetrad the core of evil – narcissistic – psychopathic – manipulative – sadistic. That is a seriously problematic human.

Is there evil apart from the person who does evil things?

Does love exist apart from the person who loves? Or is love bound within by the heart that holds it? Is love within us, or do we allow ourselves to be captured by something beyond us?

Is love something separate and alive in the universe? Or does love begin and end in us?

Are people evil? Or have people been captured by evil? Are people evil because they have surrendered to something that lives beyond them, that moves in us and through us, but is not us?

Is there evil?

Motivating patterns living in our minds – but patterns apart from us – not us?

My professional pathology is the trans-generational transmission of trauma. The childhood trauma of the parent lives in their minds and they transfer their trauma to the child. I’ve watched evil as it moves between minds.

That’s the best time to stop it, when it’s moving between minds. Once it’s in the child’s mind it becomes more difficult to extract, and if we don’t extract it in childhood, it’s nearly impossible to get out once the adult mind takes its shape.

When it’s moving between minds, from the parent to the child, that’s when it’s most vulnerable – catch it – stop it in transit.

I’ve worked child abuse. I’ve seen evil move from mind to mind. Evil attacks the children. I’ve been there. I still am.

We sacrifice the children by our apathy. We don’t care. We create agencies to pacify us in our continuing slumber, and we barely fund the agencies we create. The sacrifice of children is less expensive. They are expendable humans.

No one sees our abandoned and abused children, because no one cares. You know the feeling. It’s exactly the same thing – the workings of evil – there – here. No one sees. No one comes.

You’ve been abandoned to the evil.

The children of abuse, neglect, and abandonment grow up. They become adults but are still children inside. We all are. We are the patterns of love and fear that formed us. We live to our patterns, we live to our expectations, we live to our fears and desires to be loved.

Is the person evil? Or is the person the victim of evil as well? Is that an adult, or a traumatized child?

I like empathy. That’s a good emotion. It hurts sometimes to be connected to the pain. That’s a good thing – to hurt when there’s hurt.

I like compassion too. It’s different than empathy, similar but different. Warmer.

What happens when we bring empathy and compassion to the damage caused by evil?

I think that would be a good thing. I think empathy and compassion are always good things to apply.

What’s happening in the family courts is evil.

The Dark Triad is here in the family courts, as is the Dark Tetrad. Machiavellian manipulation. Narcissistic. Psychopathic. Sadistic. That pathology, that problem in humanness, is in the family courts.

I’ve been here in this court-involved custody conflict pathology for ten years. I’ve seen it. I’m a trauma psychologist out of child abuse and foster care. That’s why I’m here.

This is my pathology – child abuse – the trans-generational transmission of trauma. It’s the core of evil.

It’s moving between minds in the family courts. I watch it move. That’s the best time to extract it, when it’s moving. Once it settles into the mind, it becomes more difficult.

It hides, and it has hooks into the mind.

The absence of empathy is the capacity for human cruelty. Child abuse and complex trauma originates in the absence of empathy. They are the same thing. The treatment for the traumatic absence of empathy… is empathy.

Abundant empathy – if you’re asking the child to understand you and what you’re saying, empathy is flowing in the wrong direction.

Are people evil?

Or are they children who’ve been damaged by something beyond us, something that moves in us and through us? Evil attacks the children. We sacrifice the children to our gods of apathy and peace, and then wonder at the evil let loose in the world.

Is there evil? Where does it come from? From us, or from somewhere beyond us, moving in us and through us, but not us?

I’m a trauma psychologist out of foster care. This is my pathology, child abuse and complex trauma – the trans-generational transmission of trauma. Ripples.

Where do the ripples begin? When do they end?

It’s a motivational pathology.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

The Healing Journey

Being raised in drama, trauma and dysfunction can leave us, as adults, continuing the patterns of pain.

We often don’t know who we are.

We don’t know what we like or what we want for ourselves.

We may feel like a chameleon…always changing to our circumstances and surroundings.

Eager to jump into situations where we are focused on keeping others happy without knowing what might make US happy.

We know we don’t feel right but don’t know how to feel better.

Staying safe and sacrificing “me” to stay safe was how we survived but now we want to do more than survive…we want to learn how to live.

We can begin by recognizing this dynamic of the dysfunction and start taking ownership of how we feel, what we think and what we do.

We are no longer slaves to the past as we begin to consider our future.

We may only have a sense of knowing that we don’t like how we are being treated.

So we begin by asking “what do I like?”

“I know I don’t like feeling like this so what might I like instead?”

We can make a list of things we find pleasure in and purposing to invite more of that into our days.

As we find our sense of self that is separate from those around us we may notice that we start to feel better about ourselves.

Oftentimes this improvement helps us to see that staying with those who continue to berate us is no longer serving us.

This empowers us to continue to ask those questions…

What do I like?

What do I not like?

What do I want?

We begin to see that we no longer have the need to sacrifice ourselves to stay safe.

We begin to dream about what could be as we let go of what was.

We begin to shape ourselves into the person we needed all along.

We begin to smile more.

We laugh more.

We begin to feel freedom from the pain and invite the pleasures that come with knowing who we are and that this is more than who they told us we were.

We begin to hope and trust that we do indeed know what’s best for ”me” as we let go of survival and learn how to live.



Enmeshed In the Lies and Trauma Nothing Changes 18 does not bring Waking

When will the ALIENATED CHILD see the light/the bigger picture?

We wish for a sudden transformation at certain times, such as an 18th birthday, or when they go to college or university and have a more independent life, but it doesn’t, unfortunately, always happen like that. And on that note, those milestones, those dates in the diary that make us think of our alienated child more than usual, are particularly difficult. The best way to deal with those times is to do something you love, treat yourself, be with people you love and who love you. There is still love. But we miss them. We worry that the alienating behaviours become ingrained and passed down through another generation. It truly is a mental health crisis, and so desperately needs recognition and support. All we can do is work on ourselves, on our own mental and emotional resilience. To be a good example in their lives whenever they might see the bigger picture and want to reconnect. Keep lighting a candle for them on all those occasions, keep the love in your heart, keep going, stay strong.

Please see more of my posts on Instagram. I post 2-6 each day to spread awareness about parental alienation, to inform and to uplift. I hope they help.

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Excerpt – Little Child Rising

“In order to deal with the feelings related to the absent parent, children often make the assumption that they are to blame. This is the only way they can make sense of it- if the adult isn’t loving, it must be because we are ‘unworthy’. After all, “Rachel’s father spends a lot of time with her”, and “Michael’s mother always hugs and kisses him in public”, so if yours doesn’t, it must be because there is something wrong with you, something not enough, something not worthy of love. Thus begins the internalized shame and self-blame cycle, often reflected in the disdain we feel for our bodies, our creations, our very existence. Of course our unworthiness is entirely untrue, but it is experienced as deeply true for the child self. And if the bitter parent actually told you that you are unworthy, or bad, or a mistake or anything that undermines your sense of self, then you have literal evidence of your own valuelessness. Who do we believe if not the parent? Who defines us before we are ready to define ourselves? It then becomes very difficult to recognize and call out abuse and neglect, because you move through the world certain of only one thing- your inherent unworthiness. If you are constantly seeking validation and approval, if you are not yet at an egoic stage where you can recognize your own value, on what basis do you stand up to those who abuse you? I think one of the reasons I didn’t call out my mother in my early adulthood was because I had taken her negative message to heart. If I was a bad person, how could I demand her to treat me with respect? If I was ‘persona non grata’ on Mother Earth, on what basis would I fight for my right to the light?”

(~an excerpt from my affordable “Inner Child Rising: Healing the Effects of Unawakened Parents” course. This simple and easy-to-follow downloadable audio course will show you how to transform wounds and patterns, and move forward in your life. If curious, check it out at the link below…