If You Don’t KnowMe By Now – Simply Red

This song when current , was true and to the

degree that our marriage had never been

and was never going to be healthy .

How could he know me , as I had to know

why his hatred towards me ran so deep

as to withhold himself.

The rabbit hole was far deeper and darker

than any nightmare I had in my life .

Including my brief drug experimentation

illegally . I did not realized the many

inducted dis-eases with addictive “side effects”.

I have come to realize that both Grandmothers

had adverse side effects , of Valium, the mother

of Xanax to which I subsumed.

I do not know my Mother’s drug regimens due

to my own induced addiction state of hell.

There was much grief , shame and anger

as I healed , in being unavailable in these

passages that are often vulgar displays of

the lowest of vibrating energy . Former showed

up flanked my his parents in 99 when Mom

exited . Flagrantly showing his love , outside

our home , openly before , I was to discover

I saw the as a Christian’s , affirmation.

I was not allowed to participate when his

Dad exited, and have not been abled to

locate a grave site . A Beloved nephew , who

exited be for him , catalyzed his decline ,

his addiction to Paxil , which he handed out

to anyone who wanted to be happy , and

his fat laden diet aided in an aneurism

in a kidney .

( * my understanding of what was told to me

may or not be true.)

No lawsuit was chosen , a million dollar bill

for hospital care , (1 year) , and his being

kept alive by sheer will.

Her diet attempts , saw him run an errand

after dinner for a fast food burger 🍔!

A kindly man , he stayed in the flow , Docile

Domestication .

So I had no idea of the trauma and rages

exhibited without warning , that sadly

have no end toward me. Nor with the

most recent supply that escaped near dead …

There was nothing in shallow Hal, that

is missable , grieves me, shame me ,

haunts me, angers me , or I can attach love

to. The years , decades long of concern

for his soul growth, long acknowledged,

accepted , and surrendered him to Divine.

He certainly deserves the healing , and

I expect his continue supported effort at

protecting himself financially , and skimming

self healing .. socially acceptable.

Of all I know change has adverse effects on

him, until all’s in perfect order . Perfect doesn’t

exist .

I found myself actualizing a mirror , when

raging , in privacy in my home , alone

by saying the words , I could not say one

on one , and I scared myself ! Not yet grasping

how much I had mirrored former , my inner

child , so much rage induced by trauma

unhealed , unacknowledged , fired up

by prescription medications .

My left arm throbbed enough to signal

backing down , getting chiller .

Buddhism helped, and yet I allowed

myself to be triggered and responding

in trauma induced situations , until

my edification of Domestic Abuse / Child

Abuse , PharmaAbuse Legal Abuse ,

Medical Abuse , in a culture of suicide

are .

I tried then to be more aware , less toxic , and

kinder to myself .

I am considering carrying a hand mirror to

energy vampires , gone mad , as was my recent

attack by a busy man in a parking lot .

Bam , here see what I see?

Not your best choice.

Suicide rates , and violence escalates in

such transitional, times as we now find

our world in. No New World Order , No

End Days as many are signaling.

Heaven is pulling to Earth ,Earth is pulling

Heaven that will require change .

I exit the matrix of lack , and own my

light of love ❤️, that will never , ever feel

unworthy or unloved or alone .

©️

Blessings & Peace .

Doña Luna

Simply Red – Holding On

www.youtube.com/watch

Sandy Hook Shooter’s Psychiatrist Arrested – Citizens Commission on Human Rights, CCHR

Induced into trauma, rage , many shooters

have broken homes , and antidepressant

influence , C-PTSD , ignored .

Gas on a rage fire …psychiatry ignores the

catalyst that brings a patient to them seeking

help, only to be induced into a darkness

that’s not acknowledged as legal addiction

and that’s being transformed.

©️

Blessings & Peace ,

Doña Luna

Nonprofit Mental Health Watchdog
— Read on www.cchrflorida.org/sandy-hook-shooters-psychiatrist-arrested/

Winner & Still Champion : Appointed Judge Matriarch Of God

‘Twas no judge , but a critical matriarch, who

deemed me unworthy , and supported her son

by saving him from being responsible , but to

her .

Whatever bound them together , is still in play

tragically , and that energy has no healing ,

no compassion, only fear at getting caught

certainly never at what was done .

Silence, assured that given the past , their

funds , their connections , and careful planning

will never expose the abuse ; the living death

of separation before and during my induced

mental illness , assured the story line of my

unfitness , as compassion , often daily contact

was with held for 5 years as he searched for

his twin, and followed the same story line.

Of course , once again the victim , this horrible

experience reduced her to near death , as he

mourns the outgoing money he owes her ,

which limits his living as large as he has chosen

at the loss and expense of beloved’s , be they

romantic or children .

Confiding he’s executing the Will, will

not be the cake walk he expects ..

Light can only be had by truths, and there

is much to transform , releasing this finally

as the factual truths that lighten any soul

that chooses to see the challenge far exceeds

the desire to step into so much shadow .

I found it absolutely necessary , to process and

be responsible marriage dynamics that created

a living death , a surrogacy , induced mental

illness , that was professionally supported

and socially accepted as it appeared to be hell

on earth.. that family was unaware or unable

or saw the adversity as opportunity to prevail

by bottom-feeding, showing no connection

to any god I am aware of ..

By whatever name it is child abuse to abuse their

Mother . Abuse in drugging her , creating a monster

mirroring her abuse of this life , of generations

of abuse, that by very exposure enlightens

so many , and is whatever each of our sons

wishes to make of it.

Releasing them from shame , and any contract

that says they cannot own their feelings , or

heal some deep wounds , and release hatred

and grief from a past they , nor I were empowered

to combat , light so dimmed as not to exist .

Indeed Hell on Earth , that light of truth

vaporizes .

Never Enough by Judith Grisel | PenguinRandomHouse.com: Books

A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER From a renowned behavioral neuroscientist and recovering addict, a rare page-turning work of science that draws on personal…
— Read on www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/557515/never-enough-by-judith-grisel/

The Challenge of Going Off Psychiatric Drugs | The New Yorker

Far more to it than the induced addiction

the fall out #ErasesFamliesTargetsVictiums

Rachel Aviv on what happens when it’s time for patients to stop taking antidepressants and other psychiatric drugs.
— Read on www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/04/08/the-challenge-of-going-off-psychiatric-drugs

Codependency and Your Reaction Style? – Esteemology

A knowing , since childhood that negative emotions

were emotionally wounded triggered into acting

a way that lacked empathy. Ie: they were not being

who they are supposed to be . I did not see or feel

it as choice ..Never the less it had a cumulative effect

that was a landslide upon grasping upon announcing

our 1st , any light left him towards me , as he felt

betrayed . He heard this from his true life partner

who failed to note my light or worth to his 3 sons.

Co-Dependency, was the rat wheel, of trying to

maintain , which was fractured by my chemically

induced nervous breakdown, which totally denied

the Domestic Abuse , the RX induced reaction ,

any and all spiritual connection . Sensitivity of

course is noted .

I felt I deserved emotional support , as well as

a roof over my head .The very bound Connection

with his Mom , was never healed, never communicated

deeply ..closeted to be the monster in his closet that

I became the target for , like the sleeping bears that

our Prez has opened to kill, their union, power and money

influenced their win, with psychiatry and chemical companies

along came his Karmic twin , who was treated to the same

behaviors as I, resulting in illness, extremely unprepared

to battle the committee. Admiralty , extremely successful

in her tenure as a member -leader-mastermind of

said committee , consumed with the income I receive

she inferred as his , thus hers , which would allow

luxuries , such as island home, travel , cars , and

stylish cloths…

Jealous and cheap and demanding , a Mom of 2

aided and encourage incoming “family” that I

was not to be included , in the either/or

and of course the mother adored that and gave her

the open lead , as did he , while demurring from

open displays of abuse , which are savage one on

one .

Co-dependent ?

Hardly !

I have a great appreciation for the influence of secretive

relationships, false mask, for the money powered favor

that exist on every level , and a culture of suicide and

abuse accepted , believe what they see.. What was real

was the induction of my walking dead Stepford”

surrogate , who with out my permission or understanding

was targeted for the simple fact of shutting me up

to not be believed in truth.

Co-Dependent ?

The abuse allowed by legal professionals, who seemingly

enjoy the kill and holding secrets while destroying families

by targeted rulings , indeed , continuing the Domestic

Abuse .

Co-Dependent ? To be considered that I had information

of any truths , or could make informed , intelligent

choices as a mental patient . That I was treated fairly ,

impacting my income by allowing his total control

of my finances , along side his mom whom he represents

now financially .

Co-Dependent ? Expecting a partner , whom would have

my back , as I would have his , became their ever lasting

desire to compete , and win .

Destroying a family by targeting 1 is evil accepted and

normal in the matrix I feel I have exited .

Interdependence, has way more appeal

and part of my mission .

There are far too many who have far too

much ego , which revealed is inclusive of

abuse .. some mask.

Its revelation time folks …

I’m more than ready to put the past 20

to dust , as a way of telling the #Me2WifeMomChildrenErased

for who stands in solidarity for family unity .

Blessings & Peace

Doña Luna

Codependency and Your Reaction Style? – Esteemology
— Read on esteemology.com/codependency-and-your-reaction-style/

Releasing Old Contracts , Expansion..New Beginnings

Time lines are collapsing in order to surrender to

new beginnings from the inside out.

My vast amount of me time , once I to Truths

explained , I knew too the force that shadow had

in my life, secret societies ,and my awareness

reinforced with fear and horror as legal and

professions ignored my efforts to expose the

illegal , ill-moral, unprofessional , disconnected

religious support mirrored in each child , each

relative , and in my self .. and shame enveloped

me , as I began to understand it. Why I held so

much shame .

To acknowledge , I was no more , no less that a

surrogate , a maid , a concubine , a servant

in the soul of a family that has done so much

harm , as Christians , demanded acknowledgement

of 3 young souls who watched the deconstruct of

their Mom. Legalized addiction, drugged to

submission , that a human being of male

dominance’s , fearing he might loose money

or be exposed in his darkness of abuse , allowed

doing nothing save make his own plans of

stepping out of a contracted marriage for happiness.

That’s all I know..

His every intent , to avenge me for my failure

as a homemaker, servant , companion , whatever

he needed , in order for his property to be his

bearing out the Me NOT We..

Erasing me, allowing all is my fault , he was guilt

free and holding a lot of repressed and depressed

within , and there it remains . The Karmic he chose

to align with , holding the same energy met him

equally to participate in abusing me , and have

had at it , wide open legally and socially, enjoying

the experience of shame and abuse in our

culture of suicide . This has been his example

to our children and grandchildren ..

Trust does not exist between our sons and I.

This could show up in continued abuse through my

inheritance as one son referred to my partnership

that is his rulership . The experience of learning

of a near 300k liability against our shared property

and contracts I signed in induced compliance

allows my grave concerns about the facts , opposed

to his word as the time line crushes , exposing

what is , not what he says.

So yea , I failed , failed to acknowledge the truth

earlier , and involve myself socially , responsibly

exiting the matrix that made every effort to

destroy me, by removal of all I held dear .

I am very honoring and grateful for every

lesson, every shadow , every shame filled

projection , as I rejected the false for the truths

that are the air I breathe , the blood in my veins

the electric magnetic heart that is

multidimensional , which is unknown to

those who cannot see, cannot hear , cannot see

me.

Endings are very painful , the separation heralded

as permanent, having no empathy , no desire

to move forwards as responsible compassionate

mindful folks , who take care of their mind

body and spirit . who live to reduce , avenge

overpower , Abuse , using children and soul

connections and connectedness as weapons ?

I stepped out of that long ago, and a review

only intensified as a 3rd generation is

indoctrinated to hold the judgement and

shame , Clarity is the priceless gift 🎁 I

present , in light and in love, no fear as

it is this clarity that’s so needed , I but

pray for the words that convey the urgency

for the messages with what we all must

transcend , from a fear based ideology and

life model to one of pure light and love.

That I have a deeply traumatic life story

has issued my living death , leaving

3 souls whose light was drained of me

as I was created to exhibit the dankest darkest

evil projected at me .. a mirror or hatred and fear

reduced to a state of helplessness , which fed

him , served him.

Deserving of redemption , as each resolution

has been been rejected , the clearing of financial,

demanding money to counteract , along with

tangible truths , to off set his clinging to his

falsehoods and mask , demand action , now

for as mentioned here , a lot of folks are not

packed ( mind body spirit) for this train .

and it shows .

Mourning has been ongoing for far too many

years for what has no light no life as I’m

affirmed by free wills who choose to

shame, reject and falsify , project blame

etc .. I surrendered to my highest good

my bags are packed .

I am worthy .

As are you 😘💯🎁🎉🎶🌈☮️❤️♥️💕

Listen as she explains in her way , nuancing

much of what I know in my heart and soul

words that were strange in my unknowing

as they might be with you ..

The message will come to you in the way you

require , if you but surrender to your highest good.

I am a seer , I am aware , I release that I may never

physically , or spiritually reconnect with sons .

I have been forced to accept this loss each and

every minute , beyond endurance , without

compassion, or support , but a Divine support

and love that has been they’re all along , guiding

me , and I’ll honor that Divinity as a humane

Being in knowing and doing better .

Joy in my heart ❤️, I celebrate ..thankful for

the truths that liberated me from the dark

that consumes far too many .

I had no other choice

Survival breakthrough to Thriving .

I am rich in heart , Thankful ! Amazed !

www.youtube.com/watch