Years of experience, wasted efforts ,and core needs abused.
6 years in , it was undeniable
With 3 sons 6 and under and
no income or money or place
to go to , I had the awareness
that I would receive little from
him .
To a degree , I did not feel I
would ever trust or love again
and I did not want another
man ” fathering 3 sons ” who
were possessions of our Boss.
Just as he considered me ,
examples had accumulated
beyond denial .
*Coming home from work
and announcing a trip to
Germany with his childhood
friend who had no morals
and I was aware of his willing
participation in whoring
with his Bud . Later he would
share his experience through
his friends name to me .
I knew but had to ignore it
for the sake of our sons .
When I did discuss it with
the wives of his friends it was
” normalized ” ; these ladies
were professionals , mothers,
living well , designer cloths
and always had a cocktail in
front of them .
I did not fit in his world and it
was all he knew and there was
stagnation ,no growth and no
intimacy. Slow and painful
death . The abuses increased
after building our home upon
his acknowledgment that he
had over extended himself
and his obligations were not
allowing his personal needs
wants and desires .
And then there was that ever
present , never ending toxic
bond with his Mom .
Is WAR cost our family dearly
and has largely been ignored
legally ; and I grasp his
winning trumps the needs of
our sons and grandchildren
for I am dead to him , he has
never ” been interested ” .
Sadly all that perceived on
highness , mask a dark ,cold
calculating shadow at War
with light , growth ,forgiveness
letting go , equality balance
accountability, responsibility .
I came into his life in peace
trust , love and divinity , only
to be cut off and disposed of
upon finding his next
companion who relished
the strategic targeting , spell
work , lies etc
Nearly dead , ran for her
life ,forgetting her salvation
and redemption ,still joyful
to denounce me .
youtube.com/watch