Tag: C-PTSD

Why doesn’t she leave?

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because he has her so brainwashed that it’s all her fault and that she’s no good to anyone and no one will want her or love her and there’s no way she can possibly make it on her own.

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because she thinks that if she just tries harder and if she’s a better wife and a better mom that maybe he will be happy with her and he wouldn’t get so angry with her. And maybe he will be the same sweet, charming man that he was when they first met.

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because he has her convinced that if she tries he will hurt or kill her or her family. Because he has threatened to tell the judge that she is a bad mom and will take away her kids and she will never see them again. Because he has taken away her money and convinced her that she has no good job qualities to make it on her own financially and she will always need him.

More people are concerned with why women stay in abusive relationships than why men are abusing women. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship people have no idea how hard it is to escape. Abusers are able to fool those outside the home because they usually only abuse those inside the home.

They need your support.

They need your love.

They do not need your judgement.

Let’s raise awareness 💜

#domesticviolenceawarenessmonth #DVAM2021 #purplethursday

#befearless #lovedoesnthurt #abusenomore #walkingonabundance #thereisnolackinyourlife #UnityInPink&Purple2021 #Courage #BeBrave #ShowUp #StepUp #RisingStrong

The Medicalization of the American Mind – Mad In America

As I experienced the pathology of a diagnosis that was false; a cover up for Domestic, Spiritual,Emotional and financial abuse , I found myself loosing everything . Family destroyed, children ignored and after years of investment in the healing of children , I am surrendering to further investment in myself , with children who like their mother/father guide of 20 years plus , has a trauma bond , secrets, shame etc that’s predominate over healing . Ie : stuck, in denial, or desirous of my demise.

I have been toughened up enough to not show emotions , and not to invest my energies , where I’d prefer not to be any longer .

Watching on the sidelines, taking no interest in me whatsoever, living in distortions , and unforgiving . Knowing how their spirits and souls are affected , and not being heard , in any mode but shaming , blaming and disposal.

Our sons have been guided, by other mothers, wives and abusive relationships , that ” own ” them, and disallow that healing matters, due to the influence that healthy healing might have on their relationships.

Lashing out at me, years ago , requesting I commit suicide , not once but twice …setting me up to be illegally arrested …threatening me with exposure of sexual abuse , writing of these memories ,citing highly distorted experiences , 2 of 3 trying to buy my property , with no though to my future , deny the fact that healing is needed.

With knowledge and awareness of the destiny of actions and none actions , I have no choice but to release , forgive their actions/non actions , for a past , and present that is far from normal , far from love , that prefers secrets, disposal and non forgiveness , and I am assured and assuring that these shadow energies will not be my future.

My efforts to heal myself , will not be breached, of this I am sure , as everything I knew of love was attempted to be destroyed , but I held on .

My prayers for a life of spirit , of sharing experiences and wisdoms are at hand , after much effort , I know my worth , and pray for the deliverance of each child, and adult that lost their normal, natural path , due to a distorted, partner, addictive and abusive , debilitating drugging by psychiatry who have been instrumental in ” erasing families “.

Failure with my own children , who prefer status quo , has taught me well, as years of co council with young people their age , who favor me , and my wisdoms .

While that may not be my future , one on one for the drain on my energy , I will be writing , reading and moving forward unfettered by grievances, abuses etc …for that’s exactly what’s most desired ..that I give up and give in, which just isn’t realistic. Generational trauma and abuse has been resolved , I understand and respect free will, and release the painful , often horrific experiences of past , and disallow any repeats .

Dona Luna 🐸✌️😘❤️

One cause of fragility? Pathologizing our children with psychiatric diagnoses and focusing on a medical solution to life’s problems.
— Read on www.madinamerica.com/2023/05/medicalization-american-mind/

Forgiving – PAS/Child Psychology Abuse

Forgiveness involves learning to let go, and that is of great benefit to you. Forgiveness helps you to focus on your happiness and the good things in life. It is a decision you can make – replacing ill will with good-will. While you may have envisaged revenge or ‘an eye for an eye’ (which leaves everyone blind as the saying goes), you can make a choice to find peace of mind instead. This is decisional forgiveness. On an even deeper level, and harder to achieve, there’s emotional forgiveness. That’s when you’ve completely moved away from thinking about the person/people who have done you wrong. You no longer hold any negative feelings or dwell on the offence, hurt and harm inflicted. Reaching this stage takes time, but it is immensely beneficial to your health and well-being. It reduces the self-pity and ‘victimhood’ mentality, and eventually, this can disappear completely. It liberates you from being triggered or stuck in a cycle of grief and anger. How to achieve this? Try visualising that person (this might not be pleasant or easy at first) and understand why they did what they did. Time and distance make it a little easier to be objective. Feel the feelings that come up. Don’t suppress them. Why did they do this thing? Would they have done this to anyone they were with (it’s not about you)? So this is their problem, and they will continue having this problem long after you’ve moved on and let it go. Can you see the place of fear they’re coming from? Remember, somebody else’s decision to hurt you was not your fault. Have you ever behaved poorly and upset/offended/wilfully or inadvertently harmed someone else yourself? Have you forgiven yourself? Were you forgiven? It could be you behaved poorly when you didn’t know better at the time. You may have behaved the way you did, said, felt and done what you did back then because you had given away your power, and you were just trying to survive and cope the best you could. You didn’t know how much harm or hurt it would cause. Forgive yourself. Forgive others who have done the same thing. Stick with this, it’s not easy. It’s not to forget. We might never truly understand why why they did what they did. We can’t erase what’s happened, or minimise it. Nor do we want these people back in our lives. We don’t forgive to help the other person who hurt us, but we do it to heal our own wounds. Forgiveness is really for us. What we can do is reframe our thinking about the harm caused, and our reaction to it going forwards. The other person doesn’t have to be present. Think it, feel it, or write it down, and let it go. Burn the paper and see it go up in smoke. Imagine it’s gone from your life. Now here comes the really tough bit. Send love to your persecutor. There’s logic to this. Imagine how good things would be if they felt love not fear, and were not constantly at war with life and with you. Imagine how much easier life would be for your child if the alienating parent knew how to love – themselves and others. How much easier would life be. People in pain often cause pain to others. Send them love because if they are healed, the alienating behaviours will dissipate. They’ll no longer feel anger and fear and vengeance, if they’re actually happy and full of love. Imagine that. They may never apologize, or admit to their wrongdoing, they may never be happy and have good relationships, but that is no longer your problem once you let go of the hold they’ve had over you, the grief and anger you’ve been holding onto because of the injustice and harm they caused. Practice forgiveness anyway for your own sake.

If you like our posts, please help us help others by sharing our posts to other people and sites. My mission is to spread awareness about parental alienation, inform and uplift. We’re also on Instagram, and we’d love you to follow us there too.

https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

AND PLEASE DO JOIN ME ON MY NEW COMMUNITY PAGE. Thanks.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/3214325232164553

The Personal Authority 9 Step Program helps my clients understand and deal with their alienated child/ren, the alienating parent, plus how to overcome the mental and emotional issues that they experience. This program can help transform your experience of alienation and how you live your life. Typically people experience a change in mindset after a few weeks. Please send me a message if you are interested to know more, and I can send you testimonials and further details on what the program covers and the benefits you could gain.

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#alienatedparent

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#coparentingwithanarcissist

#highconflictdivorce

#familylaw

#FamilyCourt

#ParentalAlienationSyndrome

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

#parentalguidance

#generationaltrauma

#custody

#custodybattle

#childrenfirst

Move on

One of the lesser discussed outcomes of toxic relationships is how narcissists are often successful at convincing your friends and family that YOU are the dysfunctional, toxic one. Sometimes, they can even turn them against you.

So then, not only do you have to cope with the painful smear campaign, but you are also faced with the fact that your friends and family who sided with the narcissist have betrayed you, as well.

These are not your people. Maybe they never were.

Anyone who knows you – authentically – should not side with the person who is trying to tear your life down.

Sure, narcissists are exceptionally skilled at pretending they’re just regular people trying to live their lives, but these people knew you long before the narcissist came along…yet, here they are, siding with them.

If someone doesn’t know you well enough to know the narcissist’s accusations are false, then did they ever really know you?

I find that life is too short to change people’s minds about things. If flying monkeys and enablers want to believe the narcissist’s stories, then they have their own path to travel. It’s not our job to make them see the light.

Along my own journey, I stopped wasting my precious time and energy trying to correct the narrative or defend myself against accusations and the people who wanted to believe them. Let them find out the truth like you did (IF they ever do).

Some people love to eat up drama like a tasty snack.

Some people want to think they found dirt on you.

Some people want to get into the narcissist’s good graces for their own reasons.

And some people are just too naïve and gullible.

None of these people belong in your circle OR your tribe.

These are lost people who need to find their own way or remain unwoke. It’s not your job, and it’s not your project.

Save your precious time and energy for other, more important things…like getting through the smear campaign with the people who are truly on your side.

And if you have no one, get a dog, a cat, or a goldfish. Our tribe can be anyone or any creature who will have our back.

🔥 Grab your free Beginner’s Healing Toolkit for backup:

https://bit.ly/BeginnersRoadmap

#selfhealers

Prevention of Adverse Childhood Experiences-Mad in America

In a new article published in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine Focus, researchers lay out the American College of Preventative Medicine’s (ACPM) position on preventing and mitigating adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). While the authors endorse surveillance and research around childhood adversity, they recommend against screening for adverse childhood experiences in individual clinical encounters.

Through a synthesis of research and expert opinion, they put forward seven recommendations for preventing and assisting in recovery from adverse childhood experiences. They write:

“The American College of Preventive Medicine offers seven adverse childhood experiences‒related recommendations focused on screening, education/training, policy/practice, and research: 2 are evidence-based, and five are based on expert opinion. Notably, regarding secondary prevention of adverse childhood experiences, the American College of Preventive Medicine endorses population-level surveillance and research around childhood adversity but not adverse childhood experience screening in individual clinical encounters.”

American College of Preventative Medicine Makes Recommendations for Addressing Adverse Childhood Experiences

www.madinamerica.com/2023/01/american-college-of-preventative-medicine-makes-recommendations-for-preventing-and-mitigating-adverse-childhood-experiences/

End of Soul Contracts

So many relationships, family ties and long-term connections are currently in chaos and emotional pain…The divide between those who embody Love and those who still live in fear is very real. We’re seeing some people we’ve known and tolerated for years on a completely different wavelength…

Literally. We no longer have anything in common and our differences are greater than the karmic bond that once held us together. This is all a natural misalignment of energy… The quantum realignment process. As energy attracts, and different energies repel…

As ever higher frequency energies continue to hit the planet, those of us who can absorb the light are no longer aligned with those who cannot. The change is taking place on a very physical level.

Those we no longer resonate with are literally vibrating out of our lives as we align with different levels within dimensions. While we may still be aware of their presence on the planet, the energies ensure that our paths no longer cross.

This is the physical shift that divides 3D and 5D that is being created in our individual reality.

You may have tried everything to maintain those relationships or maybe some kind of change has occurred and you instinctively know to walk away. Listen to your intuition and follow the messages you are receiving.

These relationships have already expired.

You have learned everything you need to learn from this situation and it is time to let go and move on. Send love and healing to those you are releasing.

As you come out of these soul contracts, you will raise your vibration and align with your Soul family.

🌹💜🌹-Christine Chris-

Legacy – Family History

The picture I’ve included here is of ( left to right) , my great grandmother Laura Margret Creasy Wheeler, James Abner Wheeler , Dad , holding me and Granny Minnie Zola holding my cousin Pam Ragland .

I was born 2/29/52

* Due to a ” hint” on Ancestry I learned that Minnie Zola Creasy Wheeler lost her Dad in 1952!!

What grief must have dwelt in her soul 👁

I have tears for her, I had my Dad but major parts of him became lost to me due to my psychiatric “care” and his grief / anger/depression.

I’m so glad we had our time together to heal so much and for me to do my best to see that he had the dignity that he deserved .

Unfortunately 2 siblings took over his legal and medical and he made dementia based decisions . He was used and over medicated ; the greed was sickening .

Sadly I knew it all too well as surely did Granny Minnie Zola❤️

This was spring or early summer and Great Grandmother Laura is in a coat and scarf . Apparently already ill , she passed on June 7, 1953. She was born May 20, 1878.

* Ex left Dec 98, Mom died 4/9/99

Minnie Zola was born 1906.

Died 1994

** I vaguely remember her funeral , and did see her before she passed. Granny had warned me that if she could no longer take care of herself , she’d saved medications and do it herself.

**Valium did not take her out ; not quickly anyway and I saw her . She reached out for me her nails grazing my cheek . The gesture frightened me for I was 1 year on Psychiatric RX , certainly not myself . I long since accepted that she was scared out her mind and wanted to warn me . Her big brown eyes were wild .

* Minnie Zola – Valium

Dona Luna – Xanax

Both highly addictive Benzos

Warner Hartwell Wheeler -1908

Died 1977..

Granny Minnie Zola had been run off from her family farm with what she could carry ; by Warner and had to place the 2 youngest children, a son and a daughter until she became stabilized .

Warner and Minnie Zola had 5 sons and 2 daughters and lost 1 son .

The family farm was 120 acres given my grandparents by her parents Laura and James Edward.

I had heard stories of his abuse and temper which necessitated my Dad live elsewhere at an early age . He spoke of Warner not buying his school books .

He did have some kind of relationship with Warner until I was around 10/12

Warner it would seem was a moon shine maker , his sons were to help him with the fields of corn he grew . He had boxes of cash money seen by other family members .

Granny Minnie Zola struggled the rest of her life .

A baby boy was near term when Warner pushed her on outside steps and though a doctor was sent for baby David died and she was blamed . Of course he blamed her .

At some point as the new psychiatric RX came on the scene she was given Valium as was Granny Cora was , when the farm was sold to APCO electric company to create Smith Mountain Lake . Granny Cora was highly sensitive already and very religious and became labeled with a psychiatric disorder .

Valium decreased life vitality and increased mental stressors which neither Granny deserved .

I feel that somehow they knew I would solve the issue by having similar experiences with regard to psychiatric “care”.

I’m not sure why I had to learn these historical facts so late in life , experiencing the trauma with regard to the end of my marriage and my Mom’s death months later .

My aunt had taken Granny Cora to the same psychiatrist I ended up with but didn’t like him and Granny was spared , his medical abuse . Nothing was said when he became my psychiatrist for 13 very long and tragic years but it seemed to answer the prayers of ex who attended the same collage as Dr and to my knowledge never met Dr

My dentist and psychiatrist both had last names that started with an L and both were Polish and honored ex as my ” concerned ” partner !

So I’m sure that with the ancestry of abuse , the support and guidance of ancestors all these decades , that completion of these cycles have been cleared as I survived the trauma and abuse and alienation of a marital partner , loss of finances , character assignation and disposal by children , extended family and friends and religion that has not healed but continues to target me .

11/23/21 brought another partner in business that had groomed me in a case of fraud that was to deprive me of all I have financially and I experienced yet another lesson in law that did not serve me or the factual truths but the criminal who still walks freely, committing his crimes . My request for codes and for a detective were ignored by one office .

I am grateful to have installed a new battery and new tires in my 98 4Runner as on Dec 14 after breaking into my place and shutting off my internet , my jeep became my ” office ” .

My old jeep , a 4 cylinder could not make it up the steep icy driveway and I had to call a wrecker who was very kind . In the Spring I had to pay out $1200 for engine repair from the effort .

My business partner claimed to own the property and gave me an inclusive price of $650

Electric , internet and rent for a very shabby single wide that was to be my shelter until spring 2022 when we would build my house .

He did not mean a word of it , I discovered he rented the single wide and has no physical address . He later turned off my electric but thankfully I had received my pay and hired a lawyer who informed him of the illegal transaction and it was back on by days end . I later discovered he has not paid the electric in months and was shut off just after I left May 1 2022

I have been in a motel at triple the expense of rental , yes it’s inclusive . My things are in storage , one being 40 miles away costing $300 per month .

I am Thankful to the magistrates I talked to who informed me there were many laws broken and the many deputies I talked to but each were unable to help until the orders were given by the one office that much like ex and business partner and our children …are not interested in me what so ever .

I’m sure Granny Minnie Zola felt the sting as did I but I allowed that I would keep my head and heart on my intended outcome .

I met ex in Nov around this time and he offered to rent me a room ; I eventually moved in and acknowledge that stability and safety were never part of our life over the next 21 years . And of course all he surveyed was his , controlling every aspect of my life until I started to wake in 2004 and he began the process of trying to strip me of everything I had ; his property. $$$$

His sons , his grandchildren and his story , all ripe for the truths that release the trauma bonds and end the insanity of malignant intimate partner violence and effect much better laws that end the erasing of families due to the distorted reality of one who has no God , no morality no empathy and no place in my life !

Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

Grief , Holidays & Sensory Memories

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/202211/grief-holidays-and-sensory-memories