Tag: mental wellness

Stuck In The Middle With You –

The energy of the past few days has been strange

with realities , that create a need for , a demand for

solitude ..One that I am beginning to consider my

life time commitment to.😎

I certainly understand people being people , and

into their own stuff .. I have enjoyed some nature

time with a few friends , who rarely initiate , and

I have chosen to not participate , any longer .

With a 40 plus cycle ending , that included many

jokers , clowns and masked people who may as

well be aliens for the advantage and abuses

against me , our children and grandchildren .

Today , I feel on my own , certainly guided by Divine

and note it’s always been so, and I accept it shall ever be.

I have known higher love, and have allowed higher love

to heal me .. Almost since my heart accepted Jesus , and

I sang , this little light , a force began to test that my light .

Today , I know it , I own it , without force , but great joy

and acceptance , that in removing all from me , Spirit

still remained and guided my recovery . I learned through

much heartache and heart break, lessons so freakish , so

out there , so inhumane …while hardly anyone else noted

or mumbled dismissal of blatant abuses , that seemed destined

to continue with each breath of the one whose focus is my

physical death ..

That I , survived cruelties that were allowed as an example

of my worth, my value to 3 souls .. times 6 now to appease

an elder of funds thus power , and her child who brutally

abused and used me as leverage with each other , a surrogate

for male heirs , an appearance of normalcy to the outside

world .

The shame and blame were omnipresent , as if a religion

projections of not being good enough that was perfection

by the time psychiatry gifted them , my induced Bipolar

which signaled a get out of marriage , family , as free

as possible ..

Bodies do talk and mine screamed , internally , for not

one word , was heard , nor mattered once I became

a legalized Big Pharma addict .. Malleable that an end

should be as former wished , indeed taking 5 years to

enact an exit .

Little of it was lost on me, only the Devil and his Details

a new beginning for happiness , and no concerns or

worry or love lost as he promised friendship , that never

actually was a reality .

That reality and happy faded very quickly but an investment

had been made , and barely a shadow of her former self , she

left …Kudos .. However , I never blamed her totally , as she too

was casually used to produce abuses , which included my

not being allowed in any space she might be , especially

where our sons were concerned . Her image was of wife

and mother of our sons , whom she screamed at me found

me fat, lazy, crazy and wanted nothing to do with me .

Trauma that existed , was enhanced living a life of detachment

that was and always be self absorbed , lacking consciousness

or love .. Embarking yet again , for a cup that is never full .

The Monkey and his circus are endangered .. our sons as are

many are awakening to the facts , which indeed can be pain-filled.

We are made for these times ..

I released the eternal partiers , the non reciprocal friends , the hug-less

the bound , restricted take no prisoner projectionist , who have

nada to offer me , as I did the earth family , that remained after

the vulgar display of family values …as I long ago rejected

that I was unfit , but lacking in blind support of an immorality

in a marriage that has been spun in shadow so dank , and dark

an exhumation is demanded , a requirement for stepping out

of the nightmare of abuses , with desire to continue until my

last breath .

Tonight I sit alone , I will sleep alone , but I feel no lack only

comfort that I am not stuck in the middle of anything .

My place is not in the middle .

I am ever grateful to the Karmic ladies , those whose

goal, game effort are to possess the man I favor

for they take on the whole of that dark matter

and rarely last .. Former was done way before she

became ill, but held on. His causal , fun , rover life

style didn’t change , he had a home that deceived

irregular , non normal people and activities.

His secret clubs , still secret .. A double life , always

With dire results , an ending is justified ; closure

and all the masked , all the deceits , all the abuses

are Karmic boomerangs…

I am lucky to have noted long ago , when I went

against Divine , Karmic lessons followed often

so heart and head co joined , I am patient

as thy will be done , surrendered to all that

is , all that will be . Love , and Heaven on Earth

are here .. Seeing that in another , his witness

of mine … Meeting delicious new soul connections

as residence reveals change is not an option

for others …🙏🏼

Our train, our bags , our faith is not in

others but of our selves .

Non Delusional Pisces ♓️

www.youtube.com/watch