Reasons to look up in 2020
— Read on www.forbes.com/
Category: Parential Alienation-Child Abuse
Independence Day Martina McBride
This song came to mind , upon an update from a deserving
soul , who is liberating themselves today …
In homage to those who have been empowered to remove
themselves from harms way , and those who deserve support
derived from this soul who had to do it the hard way
but today feels nothing but independence from generations
of abuse .. Supported by spirit , by ancestors who did not
fare well in matters of children and marriage , finances
home , and AMA APA …socially …clearing this is amazing .
My intent was for a clearing for my earth family , each
unique son Divine graced me with , as well as myself .
I mourned for what I missed, what I lost , what was abused
and Bless my former self , whose fragments are less tragic
in lieu of the many gifts I have received and many of those
are intangible .
I would have never knowingly married anyone who was
masking trauma, addiction, etc who would harm me
or our children . My deepest , darkest pain has been
transformed , resulting in a purity of love and promise
the life I dreamed of , on my own with Beloved’s
love and respect ..new year , new beginnings ..
Truth is Light that is Love
©️
Blessings & Peace
Doña Luna
Honoring a very long goodbye 👋
Independence Day ,
Meta cognition , NPD Abuse
With her death, a piece of every woman’s dream for a more just society also died – al.com
The GOP has no heart. They show time and again that all they care about is money and power, control and domination. In fact, they very much fit the profile of men who abuse women. And the fact is that their actions and words empower abusers (and domestic terrorists like the KKK). A staggering statistic: 1 in 3 women in the USA experience domestic violence, and since Trump took office, even more men feel entitled to abuse women. And they are getting away with it because Republicans in congress continue to rollback protections and victim services for women. Just like they have rolled back protections for children, for the environment, for our health, and are planning to do to our elderly by reducing or even eliminating social security. At this point, saying you support Trump and the GOP is like saying you support your own abuser.
Excerpt: “In February this year, the Violence Against Women Act, expired. Signed into law twenty-five years ago in 1994 by President Clinton, the VAWA was, in large part, precipitated by O.J. Simpson’s murder of his wife Nicole, resulting in the public’s greater awareness about domestic violence. To date, Republicans have opposed the reauthorization of this updated bill, objecting to the exclusion of the “boyfriend loophole” which allowed people convicted of stalking or abusing non-spouse partners to continue to buy firearms. Republicans claim the bill is a veiled attempt to restrict gun ownership rights. However, a higher rate of gun ownership correlates with a higher rate of femicide in our country and presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of a woman’s death 500%, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
… In effect, as long as women live in a world where Republicans attach more value to the right for abusive men to own guns over women’s safety, women like Megan Montgomery will continue to die at the hands of a man she once loved.
Megan Montgomery isn’t a statistic. She’s a friend, a mother, a daughter, a defender against the inhumane treatment of animals. Moreover, she’s OUR friend, mother, daughter, one who was writing a book to help survivors of domestic violence.
She’s Everywoman, and with her died her hopes and dreams. And with her died a piece of every woman’s hopes and dreams for a more just and humane society.”
Full article:
With her death, a piece of every woman’s dream for a more just society also died – al.com
— Read on www.al.com/opinion/2019/12/with-her-death-so-died-a-piece-of-every-womans-dream-for-a-more-just-society.html
How Narcissistic aid in Spiritual Growth
Guidance has explained that the ascending is dependent on the narcissist
lesson.
My take is for partners to heal , and grow , which regrettably has not
happened in lieu of his continued brutal abuse .. I battled that non growth
personally , and have now accepted the many blocks in my spiritual
growth were necessary to end generations of abuse that’s been ignored
and silenced . He has used our sons in a mind and heart abuse , a completion
that he has won, on the ashes of their mom.. They all seem to be happy there
and still act in unison towards keeping this abuse in play ..
I don’t know too many folks who don’t have abandonment issues .
That is the universal trauma , we heal as a collective as we awaken ..
©️
Blessings & Peace ,
Doña Luna
The Nark and your Awakening
1999-2019- 20 year cycle of overt Abuse Ends
A new decade , Thankfully the veil is being lifted from many
horrific , #erasingfamlies influences , including the parent
who must win at all cost.
Walked away Dec 27th 1998
Feb 28 th 1999, I had an *induced* suicide attempt .
* He still prefers to think I wanted to die over loosing him.
Fact : Shrink prescribed 3600 mg of an opiate per day *inducing suicide
My Mom died April 9th 1999, after 5 years of heart disease .
Our middle son graduated from high school in 1999.
I was removed from our family home , which he held on to for 2 more
years , so our youngest had a home base to finish high school , and not
live with him in his new gals place ..( one fact that never came up )
I agreed to a condo, to avoid a rental apartment . Stating there was no
equity from our home , denying me a home of my own , I settled for 4
levels , and mourned in deep medicated grief until 2003 , when our 1st
grandson was born ..Red flags , began to assail me…I had to wake
from the chemical straight jacket , and abuse .
In 1999, our Christmas was drastically altered , 21 years of tradition
of which due to my very ill state , I missed the last 5 years . Celebration
with my adult abusers just did not resonate in any form of Christianity
that I knew to be just.
He chose to spend his Christmas with his new gal and her children..
Much like a wake, our grief tangible , our 3 sons and I were guest
via my younger sister , for a buffet . Normal was blown .. in addition
to my medicated toxic state , the experience was a trauma revisited
from my childhood , when age 11/12 my parents , split at Christmas.
He was aware of this but , determined to be happy , after putting a roof
over my head for 21 years and 3 sons , I was disposed of , like the Persian
cat , he dumped a few years before .. on top of my mountain.
The mountain , we visited 20 years ago , in such shadow , has been
my home for 9 solid years .. I have grown in an environment that allows
me the freedom of not being followed or watched .. I’m a possession,
a threat to his past , that he chooses to keep skipping out of …a life’s work.
Bankrupting me , encouraging by demise , utilizing our sons/family
shame, finances , law, he contractually made promises ..The facts are clear
and still present danger that he has no intention of stopping his
party ever waiting , his happiness , his awakening or not .
Holidays were met by silence ….While my personal grief is real
I am shown , I am defiantly on my own , little more than a surrogate
a mother long since dead to her sons ..
I’m left to complete this cycle on my own as well, as I expose the
many reasons , why I have been forced , induced by my abuser
to stay quiet until I had enough , which Thankfully has been exposed
in this finale of ChildAbuse , Domestic Abuse , being excused
and supported ..
So there is no party, only acceptance that my very survival depends on
stepping out of this triangulation, still supported by Mother/Son partners
till infinity.. pushing I am not family for 43 years , I was allowed to
marry him that he could better fit in …
#NotMyCircusNotMyMonkey
©️
Blessings & Peace ,
Doña Luna
Prince 1999
Let’s Put this Together – Narcissism 101. Knowledge and education is vital to starting out on your journey to recovery – OR – great for a brush up course to remember where we came from and where we NEVER want to return to!
Greg has a very good bead on the insanity of narcissist abuse
Much has been my experience as the continued target , regrettably
no positive movement forward , or end via the truth , requires
action …
Laws must be enacted, courts , therapist, society , clergy require
education .
Targets loose so very much , our sons their children …Still in the
matrix / cult….
#NoPhotosOnMilkCartonsofLostChildren
Let’s Put this Together – Narcissism 101. Knowledge and education is vital to starting out on your journey to recovery – OR – great for a brush up course to remember where we came from and where we NEVER want to return to!
https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2019/12/25/lets-put-this-together-narcissism-101-knowledge-and-education-is-vital-to-starting-out-on-your-journey-to-recovery-or-great-for-a-brush-up-course-to-remember-where-we-came-from-and-wh/
— Read on afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2019/12/25/lets-put-this-together-narcissism-101-knowledge-and-education-is-vital-to-starting-out-on-your-journey-to-recovery-or-great-for-a-brush-up-course-to-remember-where-we-came-from-and-wh/
How to Win Custody
HOW TO WIN CUSTODY – DRAFT PLEADINGS FOR COURT BASED ON DOCUMENTARY EVIDENCE.
In a battle to be with your children? BM giving you the blues? False allegations?You have documented information? You’re inspired to fight? But you have no idea how to form that information into a decent Petition. I have been in that situation and I learned how to fight back from lost custody and I won full sole legal and physical custody.
In a previous post I explained WHY you want to know Civil Procedure and how to plead in court, and now I wanna show HOW I do that.
So, I wanna discuss how I would WEAPONIZE my documentation of BM shenanigans in a pleading for custody.
In this example we have a court order that states:
“When the child is with one parent, the parent without the child shall have the right to have a phone call visitation every evening between the hours of 6pm and 8pm. The parent with the child shall be responsible for facilitating each phone call.”
First off, every night I would call. If the parent will not answer or allow the call, I will at 8:01pm send an email to the parent stating,
“I am notifying you that I called to speak with lil’ baby at 6:52pm on 12/21/2019. There was no answer. I left a voicemail message. I waited and did not receive a call back.”
That is the entire extent of the documentation that I would need for my records.
When it is time for pleading, I may have, as I once had, over 200 incidents of this sort. So, I have options, and my concerns are balanced on need for aggressive self-representation, whether the judge might be annoyed by a 300 page petitions, whether the rules limit page sizes (many states and counties do, with exceptions), do I have the ink and paper for the copies etc.
I could plead out each individual violation separately for each day such as:
Now comes THE PETITIONER, appearing Pro Se, In his VERIFIED PETITION FOR CUSTODY AND SUPPORT. The PETITIONER seeks a change in custody of the MINOR CHILD based on a substantial change in circumstances pursuant to {STATUTE}. The petitioner seeks full, sole legal and physical custody of the minor child and support. And in support of which PETITIONER states as follows:
Count 1
Change of Custody due to repeated Visitation Interference
1. This court entered an order for custody, visitation and support on {DATE} (hereinafter “ORDER”). See Order Attached as Exhibit “A
2. The Order states in pertinent part:
a. Paragraph 15. “When the child is with one parent, the parent without the child shall have the right to have a phone call visitation every evening between the hours of 6pm and 8pm. The parent with the child shall be responsible for facilitating each phone call.”
3. On or about 6:52pm on 12/21/2019 pursuant to the order of this court PETITIONER called from number 888-888-8888 to telephone number 777-777-7777 to exercise telephone visitation with the MINOR CHILD.
4. No one answered the call on that day at that time.
5. PETITIONER left a voicemail message.
6. PETITIONER stayed with my phone between the hours of 6pm an pm.
7. RESPONDENT did not return PETITIONER’S call.
8. THE MINOR CHILD did not return PETITIONER’S call.
9. PETITIONER did not have phone visitation with the MINOR CHILD on 12/21/2019.
10. RESPONDENT failed to facilitate phone visitation on this day.
11. The continued practice of failing to facilitate phone communication fails to foster a loving and continuing relationship between me and the MINOR CHILD.
12. The continued practice of failing to facilitate phone communication diminishes a loving and continuing relationship between me and the MINOR CHILD.
13. Upon information and belief RESPONDENT willfully violated this condition of the agreement in a sustained attempt to alienate PETITIONER from a loving and continuing relationship with the MINOR CHILD.
14. RESPONDENTS Failure to allow phone visitation is not in the best interest of the MINOR CHILD.
Wherefore PETITIONER prays this court enter an order:
a) Finding that the RESPONDENT interfered with the visitation of the PETITIONER and the MINOR CHILD; and
b) Finding that the RESPONDENT fails to foster a continuing and loving relationship between the minor child and Petitioner; and
c) Finding that RESPONDENT interfered with the rights of the PETITIONER and MINOR CHILD to have visitation; and
d) Finding that RESPONDENT’S visitation interference is not in the best interest of the MINOR CHILD; and
e) Granting sole physical and legal custody of the minor; and
f) Granting Support entered against the RESPONDENT; and
g) Alternatively, for visitation to be made up by granting the PETITIONER up to 24 hours of physical overnight visitation;
h) And for any and all other relief this court deems fair, just and equitable.
AND so on and so forth. So sure, I could elect to file a 200-count complaint and lay out for each individual visitation interference. Though time and cost consuming for me (paper and ink), it would be more so for the other party. After all this is a copy and paste job. I could group like kinds of activity together in each count.
For that I would include a line for each date of violation in that count like:
3. On or about 6:52pm on 12/20/2019 pursuant to the order of this court PETITIONER called from number 888-888-8888 to telephone number 777-777-7777 to exercise telephone visitation with the MINOR CHILD.
4. On or about 7:19pm on 12/21/2019 pursuant to the order of this court PETITIONER called from number 888-888-8888 to telephone number 777-777-7777 to exercise telephone visitation with the MINOR CHILD.
5. On or about 6:02pm on 12/22/2019 pursuant to the order of this court PETITIONER called from number 888-888-8888 to telephone number 777-777-7777 to exercise telephone visitation with the MINOR CHILD.
6. No one answered the call on each of those days and times.
7. PETITIONER left a voicemail message on each and every day unless the voicemail was full.
8. PETITIONER stayed with my phone between the hours of 6pm an 8pm on each of these dates and times.
9. RESPONDENT did not return PETITIONER’S call on each of these dates and times.
10. THE MINOR CHILD did not return PETITIONER’S call on each of these dates and times.
11. PETITIONER did not have phone visitation with the MINOR CHILD on each of these dates and times.
12. RESPONDENT failed to facilitate phone visitation on each of these dates and times.
I would include in the prayer for relief:
g) Alternatively, for visitation to be made up by granting the PETITIONER up to 24 hours of physical overnight visitation FOR EACH VIOLATION;
ETC>>>
Obviously, other violations could take a similar shape in my petition. I’d make sure to describe only the things I know I can testify to. Basic rules of evidence state that a witness cannot testify to information not of a personal knowledge, with limited exceptions.
So, I make sure to form the count based on firsthand knowledge of actual events. I did not say for example, “RESPONDENT WOULD NOT ALLOW THE CHILD TO TALK TO ME.” That is not known to me and would violate the simple rule of evidence.
Here, there is a clear duty on the part of the other parent to act based upon the language of the order “facilitate calls.” There is a failure to act. That is what I know based upon my attempt to call.
The specifics about date and time are a road-map for discovery should these facts be disputed. This could be supported by phone records and a witness from the telephone company testifying to the accuracy of those records.
I do at one point make a statement of Belief based on my information at hand, “Upon information and belief RESPONDENT willfully violated this condition of the agreement in a sustained attempt to alienate PETITIONER from a loving and continuing relationship with the MINOR CHILD.”
Generally, this is how I would handle a verified complaint or affidavit; statements of fact and then letting the court and respondent know where I am making a statement of belief based upon information. I know I must have reasonable INFORMATION and BELIEF to state this in a verified complaint.
Sometimes this type of information must be submitted as an affidavit. In which case, I find, that the same general rules apply, statements of personal knowledge. The attach affidavit. Makes reference to the affidavit in the petition as Exhibit B. or the like.
All of this acts as a road-map for a GAL who when called to task must answer for an award of custody to a parent that would do this. They must also make findings about these allegations in their report.
Now the above example contemplates me having an order that the other parent is violating. So, that may not be the case. Even with no order I might make the case for custody based upon these same facts because they evidence a pattern of behavior by the other parent. Check your rules and laws for the way forward.
LISTEN, if a person does not plead a case, there is no case. If they do not put evidence and facts before the court properly there is nothing for the judge to rule on in favor of the party that failed to make a case. PERIOD. Stop being only on the defensive and make a case for your rights! For your child!
So, since I can not be in every state and country, I cannot know the laws and statutes for every state or pleading standards. I wish I could, but I don’t. (waiting on the Elon Musk Brain Implant for that. JK).
One must become familiar with their courts, statues and pleading standards in order to be able to take something from the internet, apply specific knowledge, and make it their own.
For example, “Foster a Loving and Continuing Relationship” was once language in the statute concerning custody in the state where I fought years ago. This may no longer be part of the statute. But if there is language within the statute that can be pointed to then I do that.
So, these are terms of art and terms of law that need to be understood form the perspective of the state/county in which a person is fighting. Look to your states statutes.
DO NOT USE INFORMATION FROM THE INTERNET AS A PLUG AND PLAY TEMPLATE. That’s stupid. I know because I have done it! Lol
What one could do is look at this as a strategy. Then look at actual pleadings from top law firms in one’s county/state for pleading standards and legal citations. You might be able to find them online. Or look in the courthouse. YOU CAN SURELY FIND THEM IN THE COURTHOUSE.
By the way, this is the same type of pleading of facts that I would use for the change in custody, petition to enforce order, contempt citation, etc.
But, nothing beats learning the law and civil procedure and the applying family law to that learning.
So, you may take my civil procedure series FOR FREE at http://www.professionallitigant.com/fathers
There’s nothing to buy. Just signup for FREE ACCESS to this video series and learn what I know about court. There is literally no catch. We typically change $997, But after seeing the types of questions and comments that go on in these groups, I recognize that this help is needed RIGHT NOW.
But remember, that series is not a course or a course on custody and family law. Nothing here or there is a substitute for legal advice.
Everyone who takes up this fight will need basic, rudimentary understanding of how courts work, or Civil Procedure.
Like this and please SHARE it with someone who might benefit from this information.
More to follow…
Jim Winner
Simply creating a foundation of solid parenting in the best interest
of the child.

Me, Myself, and I. At its core narcissism is very simple because it solely operates on the principle that the narcissist’s needs come first and foremost! MeMeMe
Me, Myself, and I. At its core narcissism is very simple because it solely operates on the principle that the narcissist’s needs come first and foremost!
https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2019/12/17/me-myself-and-i-at-its-core-narcissism-is-very-simple-because-it-solely-operates-on-the-principle-that-the-narcissists-needs-come-first-and-foremost-2/
— Read on afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2019/12/17/me-myself-and-i-at-its-core-narcissism-is-very-simple-because-it-solely-operates-on-the-principle-that-the-narcissists-needs-come-first-and-foremost-2/
Walking on eggshells – where a person feels coerced into silence to avoid the conflict from an abusive person – NOBODY SHOULD EVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS TYPE OF TOXICITY AND ABUSE with anyone, no matter if it is a parent, relative, friend, co-worker, spouse, partner, or professional!
Tested repeatedly, I have come to the awareness
recently tested , I am positive I cannot and will not
tolerate being coerced , especially in foundational
heart matters .
Walking on eggshells – where a person feels coerced into silence to avoid the conflict from an abusive person – NOBODY SHOULD EVER HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS TYPE OF TOXICITY AND ABUSE with anyone, no matter if it is a parent, relative, friend, co-worker, spouse, partner, or professional!
https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2019/12/17/walking-on-eggshells-where-a-person-feels-coerced-into-silence-to-avoid-the-conflict-from-an-abusive-person-nobody-should-ever-have-to-deal-with-this-type-of-toxicity-and-abuse-with-anyone-no-mat/
— Read on afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2019/12/17/walking-on-eggshells-where-a-person-feels-coerced-into-silence-to-avoid-the-conflict-from-an-abusive-person-nobody-should-ever-have-to-deal-with-this-type-of-toxicity-and-abuse-with-anyone-no-mat/
