Tag: marriage
3 reasons Narcissists get married
Narcissist & Food Control
Whew this was so factual per my experience that I knew I had received a gift.
I was very thin when we met and married and pregnant 3 months later .
I gained weight and was always hungry . In this marriage I had a much better diet, access to food and I gained 60 lbs , loosing 30 within 3 days of childbirth .
It did begin a serious issue that wasn’t discussed , as he stated later on , that he would have sex more often IF I lost weight .
I had little respect , for his continued using sex , with me as a sleeping elixir , and his extremely loud snoring precluded my sleep. I wasn’t desirous of sex with him .
Back to the eating … he loved food and I think we both had childhood food issues.. . But he defiantly wasn’t interested in me with weight on , which psychiatrist RX authenticated , as my weight increased , a red flag , in many ways .
Changing Brains, Changing Minds: Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal and the Marital Relationship – Mad In America
As family support people for those caught in the mental health system, our job is to mitigate as much of the trauma as we can.
— Read on www.madinamerica.com/2023/06/changing-brains-minds-psychiatric-drug-withdrawal-marital-relationship/
Psychosis Is an Expression of Early Childhood Trauma | Daniel Mackler – Mad In America
This is a perfect summation of trauma, born of abuses unspoken , ignored for decades , until life stressors bring it up for review and healing .
It was so with me, and I was powerless to prevent it , when medicated , I watched it going on with our sons..
With regards to myself and sons , the denial was and still is the foundation for Dad , as it has been his family code, and must be protected from exposure at all cost.
The signs have been there, and in trying to protect or get help , our family was erased and all the icky stuff , denied healing until it’s a monstrous mountain that’s impossible to surmount . Dodging the big stuff , only creates bigger stuff, and when everyone around you has unhealed trauma , denial etc , this becomes a normal set point .
We , as a family attended 1 family counseling session, and ex said he would not return.. not interested
Faith/church/religion was the same; NOT interested..
I came to know his lack of interest in me also, but I noted lack of interest in himself , and a very dark soul wound that drove his desire to be happy , elsewhere , creating a past that served his victim , survivor ” experience”
What makes psychosis confusing is that an eruption of infant trauma is expressing itself through the lens, the body, and the voice of someone who is now an adult.
— Read on www.madinamerica.com/2023/05/psychosis-is-an-expression-of-early-childhood-trauma-daniel-mackler/
Why doesn’t she leave?
Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?
Because he has her so brainwashed that it’s all her fault and that she’s no good to anyone and no one will want her or love her and there’s no way she can possibly make it on her own.
Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?
Because she thinks that if she just tries harder and if she’s a better wife and a better mom that maybe he will be happy with her and he wouldn’t get so angry with her. And maybe he will be the same sweet, charming man that he was when they first met.
Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?
Because he has her convinced that if she tries he will hurt or kill her or her family. Because he has threatened to tell the judge that she is a bad mom and will take away her kids and she will never see them again. Because he has taken away her money and convinced her that she has no good job qualities to make it on her own financially and she will always need him.
More people are concerned with why women stay in abusive relationships than why men are abusing women. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship people have no idea how hard it is to escape. Abusers are able to fool those outside the home because they usually only abuse those inside the home.
They need your support.
They need your love.
They do not need your judgement.
Let’s raise awareness 💜
#domesticviolenceawarenessmonth #DVAM2021 #purplethursday
#befearless #lovedoesnthurt #abusenomore #walkingonabundance #thereisnolackinyourlife #UnityInPink&Purple2021 #Courage #BeBrave #ShowUp #StepUp #RisingStrong
Bonds of Mother Son
When the bonds between, Mother and Son are destroyed by varied entitled sources ,mothers blow back is nothing short of spiritual and reclamation.
Our sons are not interested , and since all has been surrendered on my part , I leave them to their own journey , and wakefulness .
Mother in Law
The war never ended from her possession of her son . I gave up after years of trying ; once sitting with her and stating that it was ok if she didn’t care for me , that we could have some semblance of a relationship. She replied ” as a Christian, I’ve never met anyone that I didn’t like ” .
I understood her from that point on and witnessed her get hands on and loving towards our sons when someone was watching .
She was abusive to me openly and it was witnessed and he said nothing in my defense for it was very uncalled for .
I watched her smack at her 90 year old Mother’s hands for getting flour on the floor when making biscuits!
I believe her eldest children experienced a lot of trauma at her hands and he alluded to my having no idea .
I believe he found his Dad weak to her as she called him Mr _____ and he allowed her to rule . As he faded out , she lamented the place’s they would not be able to travel and her health challenges but how she couldn’t do her thing for taking care of him . His obit declared her a Daughter of the Eastern Star and he a 32nd degree Mason which I was unaware of ! Why the secret ?
She talked so sweetly to her daughters and never once had that tone with me .
Inviting her and sister in law to cook outs at our home stopped when the 4 huddled in one area as if too good to mingle with my parents.
My Mom’s Mom died close to Thanksgiving and we were eating at her house and as she said the prayer my Mom began to cry and had to leave the table , which was met with shame from her and I was so stunned I just sat there .
So as his partner and confidant I was used as leverage and as his ” crazy” drugged and vulnerable wife whom he just offered was sick or didn’t want to attend a family function , when he was ready to jump in with the new supply, she was totally supportive and our sons became possessions that could not betray her or their Dad by being in anyway supportive or compassionate toward me .
Mother in laws , aunts and wives have assumed the mother toll, discouraging any healing or connection with me as they admire her wealth and longevity. She is quite an artist and I’ve been told of her abuse towards our sons that was uncalled for .
I’m sure she feels she has a place in Heaven but to me she is demonic and hides under her know it all attitude and money/power .
I long ago allowed her to know I was not impressed and found the bond between she and her son unholy . He’s attached to her so deeply and it proved to destroy his relationship with his twin , another 20 years of leveraging a woman to get Mom’s favor and execute her finances !
God only knows what he’s pocketed , for anything he touches and wants belongs to him .
What a house of cards !!!
Mother In Law – Ted Talks
2000 or so My distorted body on Psychiatric RX , blank eyes
A marriage , a grandson , were weaponized to block me after I failed to be able to help with childcare ; I was DOA .
It’s very sad to know and accept that our sons would prefer my death and that hasn’t changed in 20 years .
It’s easier
Crying
The advice from Dr Spock was to let baby cry up to 15 minutes . I tried this not knowing these horrific results .
There have been many advisors promoting detached parenting which is NOT what babies or children need not deserve .
Single Married Mama who had to be in the glow with a partner who had no idea or interest in parenting . Comfortable with brotherhood or uncle status that did not teach our sons well .
I regret not stopping everything to hold my baby , co sleep and had better intuitive skills that would have not allowed our sons to be alone with certain energies who masked many secrets
Crying it out: the foundation for NPD and BPD
(Borderline Personality Disorder
and Narcissistic Personality Disorder)
“One of the ways children have to adjust to a new order is called ‘letting them cry themselves out’.
The Mother puts the child into the crib at night to sleep. It is bedtime. But the sense of aloneness and the loss of contact with the mothers body terrifies the child, who begins to scream and cry.
No animal mother would fail to respond to a baby’s cry. Some human mothers believe, however that to respond would be wrong.
To give in to a child’s crying will spoil the child.
Besides, they have been told, crying is good for a child…
The first time this happens the child might cry for hours before falling asleep.
The mother might think the child has learned a lesson, but, the child doesn’t have the energy for a repeat performance…
After several experiences of this kind, the child learns to give up the struggle for contact with the mother. In effect, the child has cut off the longing for his contact and so no longer feels the pain of frustration.
A new reality in which the desire for intimacy and closeness is not expressed, has been accepted.
The foundations for narcissism and the borderline personality have been laid.”
Alexander Lowen,
Narcissism, Denial of True Self
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 