Tag: communication

If You Don’t KnowMe By Now – Simply Red

This song when current , was true and to the

degree that our marriage had never been

and was never going to be healthy .

How could he know me , as I had to know

why his hatred towards me ran so deep

as to withhold himself.

The rabbit hole was far deeper and darker

than any nightmare I had in my life .

Including my brief drug experimentation

illegally . I did not realized the many

inducted dis-eases with addictive “side effects”.

I have come to realize that both Grandmothers

had adverse side effects , of Valium, the mother

of Xanax to which I subsumed.

I do not know my Mother’s drug regimens due

to my own induced addiction state of hell.

There was much grief , shame and anger

as I healed , in being unavailable in these

passages that are often vulgar displays of

the lowest of vibrating energy . Former showed

up flanked my his parents in 99 when Mom

exited . Flagrantly showing his love , outside

our home , openly before , I was to discover

I saw the as a Christian’s , affirmation.

I was not allowed to participate when his

Dad exited, and have not been abled to

locate a grave site . A Beloved nephew , who

exited be for him , catalyzed his decline ,

his addiction to Paxil , which he handed out

to anyone who wanted to be happy , and

his fat laden diet aided in an aneurism

in a kidney .

( * my understanding of what was told to me

may or not be true.)

No lawsuit was chosen , a million dollar bill

for hospital care , (1 year) , and his being

kept alive by sheer will.

Her diet attempts , saw him run an errand

after dinner for a fast food burger 🍔!

A kindly man , he stayed in the flow , Docile

Domestication .

So I had no idea of the trauma and rages

exhibited without warning , that sadly

have no end toward me. Nor with the

most recent supply that escaped near dead …

There was nothing in shallow Hal, that

is missable , grieves me, shame me ,

haunts me, angers me , or I can attach love

to. The years , decades long of concern

for his soul growth, long acknowledged,

accepted , and surrendered him to Divine.

He certainly deserves the healing , and

I expect his continue supported effort at

protecting himself financially , and skimming

self healing .. socially acceptable.

Of all I know change has adverse effects on

him, until all’s in perfect order . Perfect doesn’t

exist .

I found myself actualizing a mirror , when

raging , in privacy in my home , alone

by saying the words , I could not say one

on one , and I scared myself ! Not yet grasping

how much I had mirrored former , my inner

child , so much rage induced by trauma

unhealed , unacknowledged , fired up

by prescription medications .

My left arm throbbed enough to signal

backing down , getting chiller .

Buddhism helped, and yet I allowed

myself to be triggered and responding

in trauma induced situations , until

my edification of Domestic Abuse / Child

Abuse , PharmaAbuse Legal Abuse ,

Medical Abuse , in a culture of suicide

are .

I tried then to be more aware , less toxic , and

kinder to myself .

I am considering carrying a hand mirror to

energy vampires , gone mad , as was my recent

attack by a busy man in a parking lot .

Bam , here see what I see?

Not your best choice.

Suicide rates , and violence escalates in

such transitional, times as we now find

our world in. No New World Order , No

End Days as many are signaling.

Heaven is pulling to Earth ,Earth is pulling

Heaven that will require change .

I exit the matrix of lack , and own my

light of love ❤️, that will never , ever feel

unworthy or unloved or alone .

©️

Blessings & Peace .

Doña Luna

Simply Red – Holding On

www.youtube.com/watch

Cat Stevens – Where Do the Children play ?

Messengers , as aware , in these words by

Cat Stevens , poet truths , and it’s lovely

to hear these words , finally more wake

and we transform , breaking free of the

matrix.

#WillYouWhenToLiveAndWhenToDie

More have joined in waking to what

is, and creation of a new reality .

It’s a very good thing.

©️

DonaLuna

Blessings & Peace

www.youtube.com/watch

Surrender

It is not visionary , or fake , when I sense

the essence of light , but a gift 💝 that has

been a guided when I’m in my 0 point .

I have labored long and hard to know and

do better , and it’s time.

I surrendered to this 16 years ago, given my

life thus far , how I could impact the folks

who need to hear my message the most.

I’ve been all over the place in my studies ,

and it comes together beautifully like an

heirloom quilt .

The fruition of my child 🧒 hood dreams .

Dad looked like Elvis , was uber not fun when

tired , which I assured you was worn out tired .

Cindy , next door her Mom , Rose 🌹and Grand

Mother , brother Barry , and Woody , a Father

like none other, a survivor of cancer , who

lost his voice , ate through a tube , and smoked

his Camels to the end . He did not die of cancer .

This family aided in my upbringing with grace

and inclusion I did not feel at home.

Proper English ladies guided me , there was much

light around me . It helped , but there was always

the unspoken , the puffs of breath as if exasperated

from Mom who was feeling alone and servitude

would be her life.

As I pondered this Full Moon in Libra , of which

I am aware will bring gifts and openings long

time coming , I leap forward to May, and Taurus

full Moon, My Moon . Younger brother by 14

months , and could nurture and turn it off like

a faucet …each thus unstable for my Peace

and foundational energy , as theirs was not

stable , and communication with held , seemed

weaponized. I was not sure of how to self care

but found stability within others homes , just

as there was drama, but overtly it was the highly

bonded family , the Mom heard her child.

Working Mom’s as well, the whole family

unit engaged, and aware of each other, in

a unison lacking in my home. I never considered

living with Granny Zola, or Granny Cora &

Grandaddy Grayson , I stayed within my family

unit until 18 ..

My dreams were of communication, of caring

of laughter , beauty with gardens , space to run

or walk , all one needed in a harmony of

peace , that silence welcomed and understood

as holy , and sacred for individual growth .

Creative space as well, not out there somewhere

but honored in the home place . There are shows

that honor this sweet , simple, spiritual home

which is my personal Moon Mother Taurus .

As I listened to HZ music , impressed to learn

it raises one’s vibration positively @900HZ

which occurs to me , might be RX for mood ,

I glanced up at my dreamcatcher which is

3 Wolves , in stained glass .

That took my mind to my Native American

Astrology which is beautifully drawn in chalk

and shows 12 grandmothers , grandfathers

which Azure said was a lot at the time.

I began to weep , as my mind wrapped around

her words , and my awareness, as a Pisces

who represents all 12 signs, with a grandparent

to “hold” me in each !

As my awareness expands to receive these gifts

I am comforted, beyond measure , as I surrendered

to the power of love that is the universal heart

beat , that in my awakening , I am born again

and I laid the blue print that is the 10 of Cups

and it’s unfolding as Empress & Empress

who have come together in a higher love

that is Divinity itself , with our reality , our

center , our core in harmony , in sacred

union of souls . Nothing before it that was not

a stepping stone towards each other , poof

gone ..

Nothing between us , to block our paths as

intergraded, multifaceted people in union

as friends, lovers, partners . Debates but not

arguing . Authentic , and Deep , Funny , Safe

and Trusting , Erotic and Mysterious .

And with all that I became aware of craziness

that comes up to be transmuted, transformed .

And we each would do so, without inflicting

the other.

So I surrendered , long , long ago, to a stable

harmonic foundation , within which to create

unrestricted , unbound , but rhyming with

my flow , which can be altered at any given

moment , if need be.

I have made every effort to giving myself

this , since I found myself alone in each and every

way in 2003 , a repetitive theme that will

finally be resolved ..

Exhale

Surrender was extremely arduous, for those

around me had no idea, of what was needed.

I am forgiving in the not knowing , it is

the knowing and withholding that no longer

serves me , and I have surrendered to releasing

that I may fill my cup with what my child

planted seeds for coming up long ago.

Surrendered to not having to know pain

addiction or humility, to know love ,

on my knees, along side , not below my

Emerald Emptor, who stands on his own

as I knew him at first site , without knowing .

I have surrendered to our union on high .

©️

Blessings & Peace ,

Doña Luna

www.youtube.com/watch

The Narcissist & Silence

A very effect weapon, utilized 90%

of the time .. I am allowed only to

know , what serves ..I allow this

as it says so much about the with

holder.

Silence is judgement , a critical

with holding ; a detachment that

has an effect on me , due to Mom

her Mom, and former had it down

to an art .

Mentoring , Demanding , the same

from our sons , their families else

they loose favor , wills will reflect

as well as actions or non actions

that convey how unworthy I am of

his time or attention unless it benefits

him. So sudden communication , such

as last year’s contract signing , was irregular

beginning with , I have unblocked you

as if his partner was the blame for his

blocking, non communication .

How sad .

Silence , is a void that’s no longer acceptable

no longer tolerable , and will fade away connections

who do not initiate , or balance communication

with out justification ..

It deters , balance, and trust , and I find it

telling of internal dialog .

I have been graced by hearing that a need to

not overload , as the inability to receive

which was a gift .

I realize how zoned out he was , deep in his

own ever present misery ..

Projecting, blaming , ghosting , the MeMeMe

that has no US , was non partnership

that’s certainly been exhibited , abused

and ignored .

Self talk , was transmuted , with surrender

to who , what , when and where .. took a

lot of loads off my back that were not mine .

That’s liberation ..

Transforming this is a pleasure

©️

Blessing & Peace ,

Doña Luna

narcsite.com/2019/04/17/the-expanded-narcissistic-truths-no-4-6/

I’ll be your man – Zack Brown Song 4Daughter ♥️💯🥰

Watching the interweave of this , more sensory

as I am not allowed to participate in granddaughter’s

life .. It’s def a very strong connection , which is

a very good thing.

With holding facts , truths , could alter , and damage

this , which does not compute ..

Still bared from connecting with her in a foundational

manner ..

Many reasons utilized to thwart healing , growth

and flowing in love and light , she gives me

with open heart . Unique connection is abused .

Clarity shall lift the veil , and Thy Will Be Done

of this I am sure .

©️

Blessings & Peace ,

Doña Luna

www.youtube.com/watch