Tag: grief
Depression in Men: It Looks Different Than You Might Think
Much more to add , ASAP .
There is a big emphasis in our society on men being strong and tough. They should be able to handle anything and shouldn’t struggle with emotions and feelings.
— Read on psychcentral.com/lib/depression-in-men-it-looks-different-than-you-might-think/
For Domestic Violence Survivors, Family Court Becomes Site of Continued Abuse
This too is changing , as awareness becomes reality ,
compassionate folks who stand beside children in
courts , insuring no trauma, or advantage is targeted
against a child in continuation of a parent who
is indisposed , disadvantaged , out monied , ie
discriminated against in every way . A very grievous,
vulgar and unnecessary , socially accepted human
rights violation.. And it’s motion of transformation
is upon us as leaders domestically abuse us , shadow
is exposed and thankfully a million stars align
to open a healing as never imagined ..Heaven
on Hearth begins with Peace in Ones ♥️
Family courts often lean toward joint custody, a preference that some abusers use to continue harassing former partners.
— Read on truthout.org/articles/for-domestic-violence-survivors-family-court-becomes-site-of-continued-abuse/
Donald Trump Says Men WhoTake Care of Their Kids Are Acting ‘Like the Wife’ | Fortune
Discovery of this adaptation with the father of my child , was
further enhanced by an attitude of ownership . If I were graded t
it would have been incomplete in every way . His nurture was
seldom and utilized to remedy a situation , he was not able
to navigate emotionally. In our 1st year , I was subjected to
devastating abuses that I had to review in triggered C- PTSD
which was not known to me at the time…it was a hell
come to earth.
In denial of anything but surface , friendship that often insulted
even that , and the unexpected rages never afforded me security.
That became personified in his partner , and the committee of
3 enjoyed the insults that occurred when I was allowed to
participate in son’s life experiences .. I was not allowed knowledge
of much including a near death crisis as our youngest attended
college out of state .. Of course he feels I failed as a Mom
an addict via psychiatry by choice to get out of being his mom.
Lacking emotion , adhering to the male model of affluence,
belonging to the right clubs , knowing the right person to call
a ” brother” who will aide and never tell. His nickname in
his home ” brother” , cannot connect emotionally , a feminine
reaction abused out of him? Or modeled by a society that has
allowed his life lessons to be ” evaporated ” if disagreeable to
uphold his perception of importance in his world.
I represent his failures , his secrets , his failings , and his imbalance
of masculine and feminine energy . Disrespect , and Abuse is
from inside out , and very repressive and depressive .. he
withheld to the point of reducing himself to a void , and my
surrogacy as he embraced breakneck change and success in
his career , our home became ever more a place to drop in,
participate as much as he could , much in the social aspect
giving the look of normal family …Doors were never shut against
him , he busted them through ..he had ever increasing
meetings or out of towns , speaking his truths , ie confessing
by 3rd person stories , always another guy , which began 3
months into our marriage . His employees also were his cover
for sexual pursuits that I painfully discovered never conveyed
love, intimacy or attachment .
As a very sick, physically ill , misdiagnosed mental patient
his detachment was utterly soul snatching , as I painfully
watched the erosion of our ” family” knowing his search
for love would never end .. Draining those who failed him
he has chosen to continue his efforts to hold me responsible
for my abuse and the loss of all the connectedness with our
sons, his brother/friends , ever ” his ” …
Trump talks about his views on fatherhood in a series of past interviews
— Read on fortune.com/2016/04/24/trump-act-like-wife/
For myself , truthing the last 20 years plus of lies , liberates children . I’m past ready .
Splitting Psychologically: lacking empathy or freezing fear in triggered C-PTSD .
A common trait of alienated children is Psychological Splitting.
Psychological Splitting is the inability to hold opposing thoughts, feelings, or beliefs. Some might say that a person who splits sees the world in terms of black or white, all or nothing. It’s a distorted way of thinking in which the positive or negative attributes of a person or event are neither weighed nor cohesive.
“Relatively underdeveloped personalities, most especially borderline personalities, have a hard time incorporating into consciousness seemingly contradictory aspects of the same person or thing. So, they unconsciously separate or “split” objects into two categories, seeing the “good” side of a person or thing as the part they find acceptable and the “bad” side of the person or thing as the part they find painful or unacceptable. And, it’s much more than just seeing both a good and a bad side to everything. They actually “split” a single entity into two opposing realities, conceptualizing for example a mother who has both a gentle and a terrifying side as alternately “good mommy,” or “bad mommy.” As a result, they will often alternate between over-idealizing and devaluing the same person. Underdeveloped and poorly integrated personalities not only separate difficult to integrate external “objects” or persons this way, but they also “split” into disparate parts aspects of themselves that are hard to integrate into a cohesive whole.” – Dr George Simon, Phd. Due to this many alienated children suffer from identity disturbance. They also see their alienated parent as “all bad” and their alienating parent as “all good”. Whereas a “normal range” person can recognize their own and others negative and positive qualities as a cohesive whole.
Understanding this all or nothing, black and white distorted thinking can help a parent react accordingly to their child’s attacks. Once you understand that they are using a defense mechanism, where they cannot hold good and bad qualities in a person at once, the attacks become depersonalized. And once you can depersonalize from the things they say, you can stop reacting.
So how do I help my child?
Stay calm, do not react to this polarized way of thinking. It is delusional and reacting to it only solidifies it in their mind. See it for what it is, a defense mechanism. Show up in empathy and teach critical thinking skills.
How Simply Acknowledging Another Person’s Pain Can Help Them More Than Just Telling Them to Cheer Up
You can’t heal somebody’s pain by trying to take it away from them. Megan Devine of Refuge in Grief has created a truly insightful animation that offers
— Read on laughingsquid.com/how-to-help-a-grieving-friend/
NPD -Disables Your Reality , Mine was Also Altered By Induced Addiction , C-PTSD , No One Noticed
Trauma’s Labyrinth – Laura K. Kerr, PhD
A very lovey woman, her work is uber researched
and I highly recommend her ..either site
included is historical trauma..
Trauma’s Labyrinth – Laura K. Kerr, PhD
— Read on www.laurakkerr.com/traumas-labyrinth/
What Causes Attachment Based Parental Alienation in Narcissistic Relationships? | The Recovery Expert
Psychiatric Dr created the ” unfit mother ” in me
with toxic RX , incapacitating me , so my abuser
had a clear shot to have a separation and divorce
he paid 2 lawyers to put together his way.
3 men came together , to cut me off at the knees
avoiding facts, for which I had 30 days to respond
to …I incorrectly thought my lawyer had my best
interest at heart .
He had been partners with ex’s lawyer , and over
powered, with only 6 % of his work in family law.
Of course it took, coming to , reading the contracts
of dissolution as if I were in agreement , ” no fault”
was his desire . Making me responsible for my own
health care , and legal fees. As to personal property
he had me signing loan notes , buying himself
and sons cars, and his new love and he going through
our home , keeping all he wanted ..
To say I had a choice, as a misdiagnosed and medicated
mental patient , cover up of such much abuse
where winner takes all, and that’s generated by money.
Whose lawyer is connected and or owed a favor
and not about what’s best for children. Of course
he saved tons , waiting until youngest was 16…
Gone Guy ARE You Happy ? Yet . That gal he left
with/for left him this year …
And all he said as he left , was he had to leave to be
happy , openly dating immediately, living with her
leaving our youngest to live in our very neglected
and abused home .
Of course that was my fault too. Too sick to do
my job , was laziness .
As a Dad , as a partner he did much harm..As a
monied landowner , he has had family connections
and seemingly a permanent ” get out of jail free
card ” and it’s always the other person’s fault.
“It’s funny how sometimes the people you’d take the bullet for, are the ones behind the trigger.” What exactly is parental alienation in the context of a
— Read on pro.psychcentral.com/recovery-expert/2017/11/what-causes-attachment-based-parental-alienation-in-narcissistic-relationships/
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 