Tag: toxic

Perfectionist- OCD

Labeled a ” mental disorder ”

or trauma response ?

Being subjected to a

perfectionist as a child can and

does create ” Patty Perfect ”

ends up in overwhelming

life situations, burdened with

responsibilities and many

negatives can result .

Alcoholism is just one response

but expecting all around you

to be perfect is a heavy burden

especially when one does not

strive for perfection perhaps

having laid that burden down !

Qualifying behaviors, as just

” my OCD” kicking in doesn’t

resonate when it’s a place for

blame , or projected blame

always pointing out the lack

in another . It’s a stressful

situation and personally I

don’t do well under such

pressure .

I had ” family ” members via

marriage that were always

exclusive in their bond , found

me less than desirable and a

partner who did not ever have

my back , but rather joined in

the ladies constant criticism

and judgment which was

highly toxic and really affected

me as a newly wed , mother

the 1st year and for several

decades . I did not want to be

in their company as it became

more intense and flagrantly

obvious!

I was not fully aware that our

sons had adapted to this , and

with those last 5 years in toxic

treatment for ” bipolar ” it

was a mantra of ex and his

family that I chose to be

Bipolar and gravely ill to get

out of my duties as Mom .

I’m sure ex felt the loss of my

inability to do my ” jobs”

and further neglected the

horrific situation and it’s effect

on our sons .

He was busy making plans to

exit with as much as possible

and covertly blame all

failures on me .

Of course it’s always been and

always will be his job to heal

that childhood desire or

pressure for perfection but I’m

keenly aware of what a toll

that takes on everyone in his

world as he always is in that

mode and never really

enjoying the moment and that

radiates to others negatively .

It’s the ” bar” expected of those

around him ; Great

Expectations that I could not

meet which made me less

than in his opinion!

I realize how it drained him

and noted how scheduled he

was concerning his personal

habits .

He had no idea , nor did he

care how anything affected

me .

iocdf.org/about-OCD/

Lithium & a Troubled Teen with No where to go

I was prescribed Lithium with prior kidney issues

I was prescribed Lithium though I’m highly allergic

to metals

I was prescribed Lithium with complaints of raging

diarrhea

I was prescribed a coated version of Lithium after

complaint

I was prescribed Lithium by a foundation of psychiatry

I was prescribed Lithium , had all the signs of toxicity

and my partner was ” not interested ”

* partner nor doctor were interested in my well being

My parents were sold a bill of goods. They believed they had no choice, and this was a matter of life and death.

www.madinamerica.com/2022/11/troubled-teen-pocket-full-lithium/

Depression stats are still high , despite all the “ advanced treatments “

Between 1987 and 2007, the number of people receiving treatment for depression in the United States increased fourfold (and has continued to rise more gradually since). However, the prevalence of depression either stayed the same—or may have even increased—during that time. Researchers call this the “treatment-prevalence paradox” (TPP).

* Browse through a DSM for all the codes that allow billing to insurance and you’ll find every human emotion , every sickness , every disease and you can bet the pharmacy has an antidepressant for that particular issue .

No science. Read the facts of how efficiently testing is done or not.

Ready of the kin ship between FDA who usually rewards the best show , not the best product.

The horrific loss of life and families erased as mine was began in 1987 with the huge push to diagnosis bipolar which presented in varied ways .

Their eyes are wide shut about these side effects and society accepted , the law embraced the all knowing wizards of Pharma and suicide was normalized by many especially 80’s

Ignoring thus supporting abuse Knowing thus supporting the trauma .

For these reasons and more , having personally exited that matrix , I’m aware there are many like I was ; induced into a state of Ill health and toxic mind and endured 5 years of neglect , abandonment , having no interest in my life , before leaving for another 20 year period aligned with his twin .

Learning nothing , his shadow is depressive , and I’m eager to complete business and no contact ever .

Coming to and regaining , renewing my essence was hellish in many respects but invaluable to my healing process .

Blessings& Peace ❤️☮️

Dona Luna 🐸

Now, in a new study, researchers review the seven possible explanations for this—and the evidence for and against each one. The study was led by Johan Ormel at the University of Groningen, The Netherlands, and published in Clinical Psychology Review.

Ormel and his co-authors explain:

“The increased availability of effective treatments should shorten depressive episodes, reduce relapses, and curtail recurrences. Combined, these treatment advances unequivocally should result in lower point-prevalence estimates of depression. Have these reductions occurred? The empirical answer clearly is NO.”

Despite More Treatments for Depression, Prevalence Doesn’t Decrease—Why?

www.madinamerica.com/2022/10/treatment-depression-increased/

Childress : The Drain of Family Courts & More

I just finished traveling for testimony. I hate traveling. I walked to the airport. I no longer live in the known universe.

The fairies bring me over from my tropical island paradise off the coast of Seattle and I walk up to the trains that drop me off at the SEATAC airport. I literally walk to the airport, and baseball games.

I have left the known universe and live is some parallel multiverse of reality now. That’s not possible but it just happened.

And I’m exhausted. I can only stay in your universe for short bits of time or like Marty McFly I begin to disappear.

Two days of travel and one day of testimony wipes out an old-guy like me, and it is immensely disruptive to my life and practice. It is also majorly expensive for the client to pay for three full days of my time.

I think I may need to add a wear-and-tear surcharge for the wear-and-tear on an old guy, making me cross universes and all, that portal of passage is tough.

The portal of passage’s not tough, I just walk into it like a Stargate thing, the fairies are very accommodating at dropping me off in your world. It’s remaining in your world that’s the wear-and-tear part. I start to vanish.

I live in the Internet now. Howdy. I can easily testify remotely. Remote testimony is a good thing. Holy cow, I’m so much less expensive when it’s just a couple of hours rather than days.

Is my in-person testimony more powerful because I’m in-person? Probably. It feels that way. When I’m sitting right next to the judge in my witness stand chair, I’m present.

I think I’m pretty good at testimony by this point. I’ve done it a lot. I’m way more experienced as a testifying expert than either of the attorneys are at examining me.

As an expert witness, I’m not an advocate. I’m evidence. That’s my role in the courts. I allow the attorney to present the evidence. I listen to the question, I answer the question, then I stop and wait for the next question.

I don’t fight with opposing counsel. They have a job to do in the courts and I understand what their job is. It’s to discredit my testimony in any way possible. They try. I listen to their question, I answer their question, then I stop and wait for the next question.

Opposing counsel has two options, 1) attack my opinion… the problem is, I don’t have an opinion, I apply knowledge and I can explain the knowledge all day, or 2) they try to slander my professional reputation. I don’t think that works either.

The opposing counsel can make the argument to the judge that I’m somehow an unethical psychologist who is not credible in my testimony as a result. I don’t think the judges believe it, and I think it’s less-and-less believable as I become a known entity in the courts.

I don’t fight with opposing counsel. They have a job to do. Ultimately, the legal system will need to reevaluate the role of opposing counsel when possible child abuse is a consideration. As an attorney, they are an officer of the court. To mislead the court through deception or tactics of delay that results in the court’s participating in the child abuse is problematic professional behavior.

When possible child abuse is a consideration, the zealous advocate role for the abusive parent needs to be tempered with truth.

We’ll have that discussion someday when the legal system wants to have that discussion – the respective roles of Forensic and Clinical Psychology in the family courts. I’ll speak for clinical psychology – treatment not custody.

I have couple of appointments today. I’m exhausted but at least I’m home. Mr. Pippin’s glad to have me back, and I’m glad to be back in my universe-of-origin again.

I don’t like being in your world anymore. I’m perfectly content on my tropical island in the Pacific Northwest drinking tropical drinks with little umbrellas – climate change, adapt and get used to it.

Don’t make me travel. Don’t make me come back to your world to often. I start to fade until I get back to my island with my fairies and trees and mermaids and stuff.

I have to board Mr. Pippin when I’m away from home. He doesn’t like that. I don’t like that. Don’t make me travel. I live in the Internet now, I’m in the otherworld not your world. I can be anywhere on the planet in a blink at the speed of our connection into the world-wide web.

Don’t think of me as young-Luke, think of me as a dead Yoda, still around but all kinda glowing and twinkly now, smiling with Ben and your dad. Go get ’em Luke… use the force, Luke. You can do it.

If you need my testimony, channel me in through the Stargate portal between your universe and mine.

Covid came and got everyone used to using the Internet. Use it. I can testify remotely nowadays. Because if you want me to travel for testimony, it’s gonna cost you for days of my time, because it costs me days of my time and more, I’m exhausted today.

It’s hard on an old-guy to travel. It used to be an adventure. I’ve adventured enough. I wanna be home with Mr. Pippin.

There are typically two-phases of my involvement on a matter – report writing and then testimony. My report is my power, my testimony is the support. My support can be through the world-wide web of our connections.

If I am required to manifest across the portal into your world, it’s going to cost you money because it costs me my life. I’m not in your world anymore. I walk to a Mariner’s baseball game, I walk to a Bob Dylan concert. I party with fairies in the woods and have esoteric conversations with a cat.

Don’t make me come out there. You people are nuts. I’m not. It’s like matter and anti-matter, and it doesn’t matter because I can testify remotely through the Internet and be anywhere in the world you need me to be, any office, any courtroom, anyplace at all.

I need to get ready to see a client. I’ll be in the next room in my home-office location. The client will be half-way around the world. Clients in Australia make me nuts trying to schedule, they are a whole day away. Am I in the future or are they. Is my today their tomorrow, or is their today my tomorrow?

It makes my brain hurt.

I’m a traveler of both time and space now, when you work with Dr. Childress, we’re always on Seattle time because that’s my home-universe now. Weird world.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Attacking the upper respiratory be4 it’s in chest

I have seasonal allergies and the spraying in our atmosphere requires major attention now .

Sleep was elusive last night , so a healthy nap is in order and I’m surrendered .

Magnesium & Potassium is indicated but my store didn’t have it !

Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

Change

This property was depicted as my safe place after 4 very months of bouncing around after my COVID eviction.

Having given away most of my furniture, there were things there I could use and things that I helped facilitate giving away for owners.

It was never cleaned and sadly I found the tenet before me was the only child and with her son ( grandson ) had been evicted as well before me !!! Of course stories abound but I find it interesting and example this house which did rent to a man and repairs are being made as noted in this shot . New deck and new paint .

An offer was made to sell at $50 over what was paid and my research showed a reduction in value 10k what was paid by current owners/landlords . I did not find my self desperate enough to buy it at such a high price with such obvious and varied repairs , far greater that was we saw today .

Notices to move (30 days )were the result of my friendship with the only child to whom I was told not to talk to.

Many stories were created and embellished to create the belief that we the renters were to blame and deserved to be ” thrown out ”

Many times I asked ” Am I safe here , and was always reassured that I was .

The male tenet HAS a lease !

The views are magnificent but there is a negative vibe attached to this ” gated community ” where I began to feel I was watched and certainly was true of a repair guy who worked for them , and would just show up , parked in the yard , in the storage shed which he had lots of stuff as well as the owners who allowed that I would have space to store my things , rather than pay storage else where. I was not comfortable with the situation nor the ability of repairs . A washer was replaced with yard sale type 2nds due to a spring having gone bad which was missed by their examination and discovered by my 23 year old repair man !

A very harsh winter , time with no electric power after being told it NEVER happened ! And I was not checked in on by these folks in any way , shape or form .

It was discovered after I left end of July 2021 that dementia and pre existing mental illness ( life long secret ) gripped 1 of the 2 and I had to feel that I had dodged a bullet .

All in all … wasted time

wasted faith

wasted money

And the betrayal of home and heart that sadly has met its mark with an only child and their son .

It did however result in the acceptance of truths and healing for the child/grandchild

Photo credit

Laura B

How to Grow Up as a Man

Much more can be done towards healthier boys who become healthy , loving , compassionate men .

What that are taught as little boys is how to isolate their anger , hide emotions and not have facts with which to make choices .

I’ve encountered more than a few men who have been groomed to social correctness , the family over all else , unhealthy bonds with unhealthy demanding parent , triangles that destroy any outsider who does not conform to the family dictates…

Forever bound together , too often in trauma is the war within that does take prisoners and only truths can break the bonds that bind .

The end of man kind , I feel can be avoided by balancing the distorted feminine in each of us , male or female .

Spirit knows no gender .

It is an individual choice and effort to heal this wound , and I pray for more awakening to this .

The end of man kind , does not include the feminine Wo man and that’s not a put down but a prayer 🙏 for healing and wakefulness .

Blessings & ✌️

Dona Luna 🙏❤️🎃