Perfectionist- OCD

Labeled a ” mental disorder ”

or trauma response ?

Being subjected to a

perfectionist as a child can and

does create ” Patty Perfect ”

ends up in overwhelming

life situations, burdened with

responsibilities and many

negatives can result .

Alcoholism is just one response

but expecting all around you

to be perfect is a heavy burden

especially when one does not

strive for perfection perhaps

having laid that burden down !

Qualifying behaviors, as just

” my OCD” kicking in doesn’t

resonate when it’s a place for

blame , or projected blame

always pointing out the lack

in another . It’s a stressful

situation and personally I

don’t do well under such

pressure .

I had ” family ” members via

marriage that were always

exclusive in their bond , found

me less than desirable and a

partner who did not ever have

my back , but rather joined in

the ladies constant criticism

and judgment which was

highly toxic and really affected

me as a newly wed , mother

the 1st year and for several

decades . I did not want to be

in their company as it became

more intense and flagrantly


I was not fully aware that our

sons had adapted to this , and

with those last 5 years in toxic

treatment for ” bipolar ” it

was a mantra of ex and his

family that I chose to be

Bipolar and gravely ill to get

out of my duties as Mom .

I’m sure ex felt the loss of my

inability to do my ” jobs”

and further neglected the

horrific situation and it’s effect

on our sons .

He was busy making plans to

exit with as much as possible

and covertly blame all

failures on me .

Of course it’s always been and

always will be his job to heal

that childhood desire or

pressure for perfection but I’m

keenly aware of what a toll

that takes on everyone in his

world as he always is in that

mode and never really

enjoying the moment and that

radiates to others negatively .

It’s the ” bar” expected of those

around him ; Great

Expectations that I could not

meet which made me less

than in his opinion!

I realize how it drained him

and noted how scheduled he

was concerning his personal

habits .

He had no idea , nor did he

care how anything affected

me .

Author: GreatCosmicMothersUnited

I have joined with many parents affected with the surreal , yet accepted issue of child abuse via Pathogenic Parenting / Domestic abuse. As a survivor of Domestic Abuse, denial abounded that 3 sons were not affected. In my desire to be family to those who have found me lacking . As a survivor of psychiatric abuse, therapist who abused also and toxic prescribed medications took me to hell on earth with few moments of heaven. I will share my life, my experiences and my studies and research.. I will talk to small circles and I will council ; as targeted parents , grandparents , aunts , uncles etc. , are denied contact with a child for reasons that serve the abuser ...further abusing the child. I grasp the trauma and I have looked at the lost connection to a higher power.. I grasp when one is accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like discrimination.. Shame and affluence silences a lot of facts , truths that have been labeled "negative". It is about liberation of the soul from projections of a alienator , and abuser ..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: