Tag: distorted

Generational Trauma & Celebrations

Today is testament to the lasting damage incurred when Narcissist distort and abuse their children , bonded in trauma and secrets , vowing to uphold the pattern for further generations which is no longer possible in these times of mass awareness and healing .

Our only granddaughter has a birthday today #11

The past narratives still rule and are way complicated and very sensitive, however I have never been allowed to celebrate her birthday . I’m sure she has been privy to much character assignation against me and this continuing child psychological abuse demands release and hopefully I can write that later to day .

Son blew up at me yesterday bringing up past which I’m accused of but it allows him to justify his actions and baring me from granddaughter as he has stated ; because I don’t do as I’m told . I lack respect for him

Again he has few outlets to release his rage and feels comfortable dumping his misery on me . I have blocked receiving his or anyones energy that is so stuck and repressive in feeling they hold more power and are better than me

Read below about the damage done in child psychological abuse , son and daughter inheritance via Narcissist Abuse ongoing .

www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2014/10/psychological-abuse

Blessings & Peace

Please pray for granddaughter 🙏❤️

Dona Luna

Distorted, Disordered Behaviors

Sherrie Campbell PhD

Too many of us give severely character disordered people excuses for their behavior because we desperately want to believe they cannot do better. The bottom line is each person chooses how they show up in relationships and treat people. Our family members absolutely know better, but choose not to be better.

For any person to be better or do better, they must take an invested interest in personal development, self-examination and the desire to be unselfish. All these things require effort. Our family members have no interest in this type of effort.

The teaching to take is that if your toxic family members prefer to manipulate and abuse to get the things they want, there is nothing you can do to change this. You cannot enlighten them on healthier ways to show up. They want life to be easier and view any person who is their life as owing it to them to make that happen.

Not your job.

Xanax is a M Fer

I totally concur with this man’s conclusions on Xanax , which I was given off label for IBS . IBS and marital difficulties were Axis or code used in the DSM which has a code for everything so it can be billed with insurance .

Xanax was deadly ; I had no idea what it was , only that my IBS calmed now somewhat . I wasn’t able to sleep 😴 which had been intensified in marriage but was life long .

When I had the chemically induced nervous breakdown , by counting the RX ; I had taken 5 Xanax per day for about 12 days .

Our eldest son , 11 years old stayed home that day from school and subjected to my induced mental state and never discussed, healed or put this horrible experience to rest .

Prescribed Drugs , especially benzodiazepines are deadly in many ways especially families.

Relationships collapse as the busyness of our world encourages us to move on ….

This is too generational , ancestral and so much information exist that just as this video exposes the reality, the truth , so must the past injustices be healed and in accepting guidance from ancestors, assurance and support are not questioned .

I have great faith in concluding old business and surrendering to creation of New Earth and my home within it as my place in this world solidifies !

I am very Thankful to my teachers , each and every one and as I rest and reenergize , I quietly celebrate with knowledge that much lie ahead .

So I rest ; using only natural supplements and methods and accept I’m long out of the illusions of the matrix that is modern human generated medicine . I remember well my life’s journey in what I consider “toxic soup” and all that it cost me and our children as it fed the shadow of a partner who wished to exit the hero and keeper of all he had amassed , especially his sons , his money and his family reputation.

Xanax brought crushing reality as I did my 17 days in a psychiatric unit … our marriage was dying , I fought to be normal for our kids but I can assure you that nothing was normal after that which took me to the place of knowing the presence of evil and knowing the presence of angelic love …, shadow had a death grip on my life as I took the entire responsibility for a mental disorder and breakdown that was Xanax induced and of course having no one grasp the opportunity for healing change . Instead I cleaved towards what he wanted and regrettably our sons experienced many abused and forced responsibilities that were not fair . Of course projected that it was my choice and my responsibility.

I failed him , by not doing my job ….

And I could not in the end accept his distorted self war that has no end …

My last realtor was a major Xanax user and as he described her death ” yep she blew her brains out ” 3 years ago .

Sadly she ignored my warnings 🙏

I suggest that anyone who wishes to quit benzodiazepines that a long period of tapering off ( decreasing the dosage is best ) I personally tried 3 days cold Turkey and it was horrific . 05

Blessings & Peace 🙏☮️

Dona Luna 🎃

youtube.com/shorts/mDielffOreY

October 2020

I spent October 2020 in a very beautiful and bare bones ” off the grid” cabin that was all I could afford .

It had a window AC , no windows to open , and a set of bunk beds and a student size refrigerator.

I had both vehicles , and ruined the struts on both !!

It was an experience I’d prefer not to ” do over” .

My total income had been garnished by a court , which was not what I read of the law . I was reduced to living off Social Security which could not be touched for about 8 weeks which blew a lot of my month to month payments . I borrowed $ 1800 from the ” groomer ” that masked his true intent to deprive me of all my property and income in a business partnership . The betrayal of his acts in 2021 was of the same energy as the past partner who has an agenda to divest me of all I possess including my life .

Birds of a feather 🪶….

Blessings & Peace ☮️

Dona Luna ❤️🙏

Oct 2021

Last October in the single wide .

The vehicle parked out front is the neighbors , 1 of 3 that had to pull in my drive way , if I were in the kitchen , living room area it was up close and shocking ( I never got used to it )

If I parked to thwart the parking of these 3 vehicles it was communicated and I had a very angry old man pound on my door complaining because my parking was interfering with the neighbors

I had no privacy in the front , and certainly not in the back where a dog was chained . His owner said he had been happily chained for 8 years . He could not fit in his dog house and used what originally was a chicken coop that belonged to the single wide.

Turned out the old man was the owner , the man who rented to me was renting and upon my discovery stated he planned to buy both properties in December 2021 . He promised to build me a deck so I could spend time outside privately on the far end of the single wide .

Before I left the owners of the property next door brought in donkeys , goats , horses etc which were real close .

The single wide was in sad shape , but I accepted that I could help my fake landlord reclaim it .

The stove was shot and replaced with what he called a ” smart stove ” and therein the burners would go from high to off without touching the dial ?!

I could not find any info on this at all !

An answer for everything but nothing based on truth or fact .

So glad to be out of that shadow play !

BottomFeeders are a reality ; even more so in todays lower energy !

Thank for the higher quality folks in my life and I’m not concerned with what karmic response awaits those who chose deception that adversely affects my quality of life .

Blessings & Peace 🎃

Dona Luna 🙏☮️

Discovery

I’m in a ” discovery ” phase as I unpack the load retrieved from storage ( 80 plus mile , round trip ) that I drove for the 1st time . With an excellent helper with who I flow well with , we entered the unit with no problem but with no real idea where things were except the cloths that A. R. pulled out for me last trip .

So it was a Blessing to find my boots , foods and spices and more supplements that are needed !

I have been challenged this past week with lower back issues and for 36 hours have nursed myself 👍🙏❤️

And it’s much better with lots of heat , sweat and Tiger Balm !

So I pulled out a few items that I was able to pick up from yet another storage and saw a big bulge in my cloth ice cooler . It was A.R. and it was what is pictured below 👇!

Both are needed !

So all my stored stuff is A.R. packed ( heavily ; he’s very strong and has moved me singlehanded!) Several times …

I did not see a disconnect, and sadly it comes yet again at a critical time , which is why it’s ended .

I have declined to mother single Dads kids , younger friends who ask me to help out and I did with a very chill 11 year old even going to lunch at her school. It was very enlightening to set a table with her female class mates . We took pictures and talked but I don’t share those .

An invitation on a holiday , was ignored and I feel it was known that was a boundary .

I don’t allow , knowingly allow children to be used in competitive power games . It’s abuse …

I have not heard from A.R. since 9/12. I sense something is off balance .

I have had to make other arrangements that , I regret for his sake . A beautiful young man , of honor and a inquisitive human being like me .

Like a teacher/student connection for both of us , most of the time . However as time as revealed , he’s more and more needed at the family home where he’s able to do from A to Z !

And that is where I must take alternative measures as I prepare for winter , and strive to have all my things under 1 roof , as I wait for my house .

My 98 4Runner is seeming to always need repair and that’s dicey because parts are scant and often require fabrication .

I purchased brake shoes and it seemed doable for A.R. , then it wasn’t . And yes something has to be fabricated to augment the brake shoes .

LED lights required new lenses that are back ordered and $400

A decision was made to replace the LED with halogen and align then. Mine have needed adjusting and it’s very difficult to see at night .

I have a chip monk nest in my AC which is interesting 🤨.

I’m Thankful for all that he is . I was patient , sometimes extremely patient , but the communication ended .

His journey of spirit is his to direct , his acceptance of adulthood within himself ; I am very proud to have known him and had him in my life for he has been an honorable young man , compassionate and made me feel safe .

There were times when that was ” off ” and I began to understand his responsibilities which left little ” me ” time and pushing the envelope, with his time . Lack of sleep , self medicating …… it’s hard work !

I sense a break through ; praying it’s not a break down .

This young man is so worthy , so awesome and unique and though I miss him ; I am surrendered to the wisdom of Divine 🙏❤️

Blessings & Much Peace ☮️

Dona Luna ❤️