Tag: Shaming

Alcohol

I went to a play date the other day at someone’s house. Almost the moment I stepped through the front door, the mom giggled “Mimosa time!” and my body froze up.

I wasn’t prepared for this.

Most times, when I’m heading to a social gathering, I have time to prepare. I mentally prepare, I physically prepare (I always bring a kombucha with me), I emotionally prepare.

I think about what I will say when someone asks why I’m not drinking. I think about how deep I want to get in the conversation — because some days I’m ready to go there, and other days I want to talk about anything BUT that.

Today, because I was so caught off guard, I probably looked like a deer in headlights. I almost said “Yes” and thought about just pretending to sip it. But I said “Not right now, I’m good thank you” and the conversation veered to something else.

But it came up again about 15 minutes later. And again another 15 minutes later. And I was practically banging my head against the wall mentally thinking “why don’t I just tell her I don’t drink?”

But I didn’t. I was afraid she would think I wasn’t fun. I was afraid she wouldn’t want to have more play dates with me.

I read a meme yesterday that said “I determine my kids play dates by which mom I want to drink wine with”.

Being alcohol free can truly feel ostracizing. And it’s strange to think that alcohol is the only drug that we have to explain NOT using.

Time to change the narrative. Alcohol free is a choice that should not require an explanation, embarrassment or fear of condemnation. #changethenarrative

***

Follow all my sober content here: https://celesteyvonne.substack.com

Slavery via Marriage can actualize

This is an actual extract from a sex education school textbook for

girls, printed in the early 60’s in the UK. So goodnight don’t have nightmares 😂

When retiring to the bedroom, prepare yourself for bed as promptly as

possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance, your

tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom, as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night.

When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your

husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be led by your husband’s wishes; do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then agree humbly all the while being mindful that a man’s satisfaction is more important than a woman’s. When he reaches his moment of fulfilment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had.

Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices be

obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night-time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea ready when he awakes.

Epidemic of HateCrimesAgainstWomen&Girls

thetyee.ca/Analysis/2022/07/15/The-Ignored-Epidemic-Hate-Crimes-Against-Women-Girls/

The Mystic

TODAY JULY 15 is the birth date of one of the most remarkable psychiatric survivor activists in history, Leonard Roy Frank [1932–2015], also an editor, writer & lecturer. An early 60s dropout, Leonard left business & became a mystic. For this, he had dozens of involuntary electroshocks. LRF helped rebuild his mind by collecting & disseminating thousands of quotations. He was a wonderful friend, here with another shock survivor friend, Kris Yates, who just moved to Eugene!

Current Events Akin to Watching A BAD Movie

Upon waking from my chemically induced “slumber” I was ever more aware , super aware of who wasn’t being responsible. A very harsh lesson for me and having been a Mom of 3 , my elimination being supported or ignored blew my mind .

The latest experience in my ongoing efforts to conclude old business and indeed clear up distortions that I was made responsible for .

That makes for fear and anger and discord as no one feels any bond via blood , or need to allow clarity within a situation that has cost our family and many others .

I have had no efforts at cooperation , at ending the WAR that is individual and of liberating me from the past of death . I have no reason to rejoice , I feel no WIN and I’m keenly aware that the professionals involved are lacking in education , lacking in character or retaliatory. Retaliation is something I have been targeted with by ex and landlords who enjoy my vulnerability and their power while behaving irresponsibility and with abusive intent .

I feel I made myself clear about my intentions and delayed by many moves and economic constraints as a result of frauds that hit a peak November 23 2021. As with past legal history/experiences I was horrified by the lack of responsibility by the office who could have shut this fraudulent masked man who intended to take my income in business .

Further research indicated his strong alliance with a religion who appoints members to participate in many abusive practices.

Definitely a show and light experience which may have a few more tower moments but this definitely will bring clarity to responsible business practices and hopefully 🙏 the desire to be authentic in all we do in more compassionate release of decades of distortions and abuses .

So as I try to live my life , regain my health and physical strength I accept more support and love than I have ever known in real time and spiritually . Peace is in my passionate heart which is wearing an earth suit that is weary but happy !

I have not looked outside myself for love ❤️ long enough to know the continued rejection by our sons indicates my need to allow their journey to affect me as they are someone else’s prayer.

Without climbing into the toxins well and digressing during Dec Jan Feb and March with very low funds , I allowed gratitude that I had new tires and battery and money for gas so I could sit in my car as long as my body allowed to have internet after having mine shut off Dec 14, 2021.

I did not give in to the memories of Christmas past , good , bad or horrific or dwell on the non birthday celebration in Feb .

I did realize that the end of holding space for healing other than myself was detrimental to my health and well-being and I would never be in a position to know in this extreme place , I had no offerings of even a MerryChristmas from family .

No illusions there and while it’s painful this has presented over and over again with the Divinely Blessed opening to correct and heal distortions of consciousness and normality .

Change is upon us , by force or by choice . Shadow is being exposed to light and New Earth will be a return to love and peace as it exist in the hearts and minds of enough people to make it happen. The foundation long achieved by our ancestors and elders , we are well on our way ; more are waking surpassing the 11% required to create this shift / change !!! WeGotThis!!

I have experienced challenged in my life and none deeper or more painful that the abuses that took me away from myself and my very essence of being a Mom which has more value to me that my being responsible for an adult male in WAR with himself and ignoring and refusing to do so .

Dust to Dust Ashes to Ashes is the place for these abuses , given light and honored for their many teachings ; for its PAST time to authentically know security, home , peace and joy every day instead of the combative discord that wishes to destroy me , passing me off as the enemy.

youtube.com/watch

Anger

“If you don’t like something someone is doing that’s your shadow”

“If you have a negative judgement about someone that’s a projection”

🤢

“If you feel angry that’s actually your past trauma getting triggered”

“If you feel a strong NO to something that’s your ego being in resistance”

And-

“All of these are opportunities to look within. Work on yourself. As well as open and surrender your resistance”

🤢

I used to believe these things.

They informed my life and my choices.

Yes, sometimes they are true.

They are not rules to be applied blindly to everything.

Like many “conscious women” they paved the way for my own ritualized self harm in the form of pathological self gaslighting.

They drained my life force and dissociated me from my self protective instincts and wisdom.

They entrapped me in narcissistic cult/abusive relationship dynamics.

They groomed me to be perfect prey.

I have watched so many people lost in this labyrinth of false spirituality, completely disconnected from themselves.

Completely dissociated from their own precious human existence. Their own sacred inner knowing.

Getting no where in their “healing” or “awakening”.

Spinning their wheels with no wisdom.

Trapped in the mind and held hostage by these beliefs.

Beliefs which I now believe are a kind of virus that originated from the minds of abusers wrapped in spiritual robes.

I have seen women’s healthy defenses completely dismantled by this paradigm.

I have watched women become sick and sucked dry because of these beliefs.

One woman I loved even died.

Anger is what broke this spell for me.

Anger is what clarified my ability to see.

Anger was the medicine that brought me back to life.

Anger is what grounded me back into my body and sanity.

Anger is exactly what this paradigm does not want you to feel and own.

Now I wonder who would be motivated to tell you that?

Cosmic Mother

”But patriarchy must maintain, by force, an unnatural system. Since the supreme creator is a male, woman must be redefined as “male property,” i.e., as “wife.” In fact the very idea of a male Creator God carries within itself the necessity for some kind of tightly controlled class-caste society. Because it is only through the creation of life through human mothers, now passive and powerless, that the male God can claim glory for himself. He cannot, he does not go through the dangerous episode of childbirth in his own person. He uses women to do it for him. Then, contrary to the truth, he claims that he is the all-mighty creator. The woman, at best, is patronized for her role as “divine housewife.” –Monica Sjoo & Barbara Mor, The Great Cosmic Mother

Cosmic Mother Birthing by Melissa Shemanna

Implosion of Narcissistic Is Inevitable

This morning out side of my

room , I am blessed with no

one here at the moment ! The

basic deal yesterday and I

chose to do very little .

The birds are joy filled and

singing on high and there are

moments when there is no

traffic and the singing sounds

are pure ! Heaven on Earth

includes non disturbed nature

sight and sound ; and sound

will be at my discretion and

mostly my discernment 🙏🏡

As will be guest ie visitors

who notify me as to their

intention to see me .

I deserve the peace and I

have grasp the continued

attempts to alienate me

are they indeed war between

shadow and light that ends

the choke hold of behaviors

such as narcissistic for several

reasons to intend to expound

on .

So I was only present a few

times when my abuser , took

the low road , became the

victim who was entitled to

walk out on his family , and

his ” partner ” , quickly co

habitat with his new supply

and all the horrific abuses

targeting me in intensified

and I was not allowed to be

in her airspace . The times

I was she childishly had to

pointy place me far away

or behind her ( as with

3rd son’s high school

graduation)

I wasn’t allowed to attend his

college graduation , nor his

wedding , nor have I met his

2 sons .

I did not pay towards these life

events so I did not deserve to

attend .

So the wedding pictures have

the newer supply , who split

after almost same year span

and nearly dead .

She called as I visited , heard

my voice and I heard her

screaming !?!?!

So this is his life or was .,,

Not being a man of change

or communication with

honesty , I have noted the

signs of implosion .

I am not the example , I was

the warning ; it would not

serve me to make any

efforts towards helping him

as the last example I

experienced was the end of

any more test .

Legal business matters are

more urgent , for several

reasons and as usual he goes

silent and disconnected ;

not an ounce of cooperation

as our sons hold tight, the

past is present . I again can

do nor say anything .

I am resting a lot , mentally

holding peace and faith , but

my body has other

experiences.

A 1st partner , contractually

owned me through the laws

of a Common Wealth that up

holds the standard quo in

patriarchal abuses that’s

gained clarity as we

experience, the country of

men, not a country of law .

That paradigm is domestic

abuse and domestic terror

and has no place on New

Earth !

It’s way past time ; I

surrendered to the path both

the marital partnership and

the resent attempt to partner

while doing business as well

as my living space and

reducing my income income

as indicated this is his business

and his faith upholds these

acts !

Both feel chosen and enabled

to target me , attempting to

leave me very little . Age ,

health, and a conscious that

says this is wrong or illegal.

The repeated lessons of not

finding legal assistance , left

no doubts who did not have

an interest in my situation

and as such cost me the truth

towards getting charges ;

same repetitive lack of

concern and consciousness

that’s a red flag 🚩

Neither are interested in doing

the right thing . This is the

energy that sucked up our

sons , and we all know

we have free will… eventually.

Healing is supported , choices

are made , resolutions do

exist , and I’m quite sure I am

not responsible nor deserving

of being targeted by anyone

for any reason ; it does say

more about the other person

but for now I’m safe , seizing

the restorative aspects of

this fraudulent attempt at

divestment; while assured

I was invested and would

not know I was being taken

and that no one would care .

Excellent response by Deputies

magistrates and Agency on

Aging , as well as Austin

who has my back and for Spirit

who assures me , all is coming

together in true liberation

of any energies who do not

support me and I am grateful

to be closing out ancestral

trauma for both sides of my

family ; that our grandchildren

as well as we , never have to

have these abuses come up

for replay , repeating the

trauma .

Blood Lines are cleared and

new again for New Earth and

New Beginnings !

Blessings on this 4th

Let freedom / Liberation and

Unity rock & roll

Dona Luna

youtube.com/watch

Psychiatric

A quote from the transcript of the 3rd BBC panorama programme ‘Taken on Trust’ broadcast on 3 October 2004 by Dr Mike Shooter who was president of the Royal College of Psychiatrists from 2002-2005.( Power Politics and Pharmaceuticals)

Why Narks fake Intimacy

Perhaps some , distorted

folks do fake intimacy . The

fact is it never existed on his

part, ever ! I knew that was

the place we needed to go

to succeed; it never got there .

It was good insanity to lies

his war , his lies , his

addictions .

It took , years to face that fact

and realize that smut and

pornography, swinging and

drinking at every opportunity

with no growth whatsoever

in our marriage . End Game

I considered options and

internalizing his rejects , lack

of support with expectations

that our home was in perfect

order and our lives were to

be envied .

Never Knew Lonely as deeply

and began to know how

weaponized he would make

every body and everything

I held sacred and holy .

In the 2 decades since he

released himself from any

and all emotional ties with

me , all that remains is hatred

and the continuation of my

living death so truths die with

me .

There was a beginning .

There is an end .

His WAR belongs to him as

liberation has released each

if our family to peruse their

lives as they wish .

War

Peace

And in between Thy Will Is

Done

Blessings & Peace ✌️

Dona Luna

youtube.com/watch