As a child I was treated like a snitch for being honest . I recall telling Dad that Mom was smoking when she told him she was not .
I was young and may not have understood the dynamics but I did not lie or ignore what I saw . Not to say that I was validated rather I was not treated well for refusing the shadow of lies
😥 Whew
The child who starts creating additional ‘bad’ stories about the target parent has truly been alienated. They have ‘split’ off the fear, guilt, sadness, and confusion so they can behave in a way that hurts the other parent and pleases the favoured parent, who might not love them otherwise. They act out of fear, and much coercive control and manipulation. It is, of course, child psychological abuse. When we get contact with these poor children, we have to be extremely careful not to talk about manipulation, lies, parental alienation, and as a target parent, you have to be so immensely strong, emotionally and mentally because there is so much injustice being carried out. Please take time to make sure you are in the best mental and emotional health you can be. Stay strong.
This comes up , threats to expose me as a sexual predator for innocent childhood exchanges now weaponized to shut me up
Lots of folks want to twist the knife in once you’re targeted by an animal individual who will do anything, use anybody , pay any amount of money to WIN
#NotMyWar
Such a beautiful peaceful day
Long drive for me , light traffic
and beautiful scenery !
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https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/
The parent-child relationship is one of the strongest human bonds and it is totally heartbreaking when a parent and a child are no longer in contact. Two reasons for this can be parental alienation or estrangement. Two sides of the same coin. Both involve grief, regret, torment, and heartbreaking separation, but are also different as I shall try to explain below.
In the Journal of Forensic Science, the difference between parental alienation and realistic estrangement was defined this way: Parental alienation is the rejection of a parent without legitimate justification and realistic estrangement is the rejection of a parent for a good reason.
Parental alienation: When the relationship was previously loving, and in the absence of emotional or physical abuse, parental alienation is seldom initiated by the child. This pathological behaviour is born of a false or illogical belief fostered by the alienating parent, out of hatred, fear, envy, or disrespect, usually during and after a high conflict divorce, though alienation behaviours might have started while the parents were living together under the same roof. The alienating parent will use the child as a weapon by undermining their previously happy, loving relationship with the mentally healthy parent. With parental alienation, the child treats the parents as good and bad, right and wrong. They take on the alienating parent’s beliefs, justifications, fears, anger, language … they become loyal defenders of the ‘good’ parent because that parent has worked on them. Some liken it to a cult leader and their followers, or to brainwashing. The child aligns with the aggressor (please see my post on this).
Estrangement: Although this is also traumatic and heartbreaking, it is different to parental alienation. It doesn’t stem from the other parent doing all they can to destroy the parent/child loving relationship, but instead from the child’s independent-minded decision. The child puts up a boundary to prevent unwanted behaviour from his/her parent. This can include a great many things, including family conflict, disparaging behaviour, disagreements over life choices, violence, and abusive language .. … It is sadly fairly common for a parent who is estranged from his/her children to blame the other parent of parental alienation. It is easier to blame others than to take on any blame and responsibility themselves. The parent’s behaviour could be driving a child away, but their lawyer blames it on alienation. This is a travesty of justice, and courts must be more aware of these false accusations. It is important to evidence everything.
Whether you are going through estrangement or parental alienation, it is essential to get the emotional support you need. If you are reunited with your child, you can also try family counselling to help repair the relationship. I advocate Conscious Parenting. Whatever you choose, never hesitate to reach out for help. If the reconnection isn’t yet happening, or it’s been a long time since you’ve experienced separation, make sure you are looking after yourself, to get beyond grief and rage, and try to accept the situation, best you can. You deserve to be happy.
They have come for us
We who are female
We who bleed
They are trying to pull us backwards
To a time where their hatred of us was open
Where they controlled all of what we said and did
Their patriarchy perpetuates itself through their churches
WAKE UP WOMEN
Step out of your complacency
Step out of your father’s house
Step out of your husband’s house
Step out and lift your voice
Embrace your freedom
Embrace your sisters
Embrace your sovereignty
We women are sacred and whole unto ourselves
Shed the males who oppress you
Shed the beliefs that limit you
Shed anything that you wish
YOU are in charge of yourself
YOU are in charge of your body
YOU should be running the world
YOU are spiritual power embodied
REMEMBER WHO YOU REALLY ARE AND RISE
– Tizzy Hyatt
Image: Joey Spadaro
The story of Medusa is a story of the natural response to injustice, and of the vilifying of feminine rage.
Medusa was said to be born exceptionally beautiful, and because of this she caught the eye of Poseidon, who impregnated her in the temple of Athena. When Athena learned of this, it is said that she punished Medusa by turning her into a Gorgon and exiling her.
For ages the story of Medusa has put fear into people, but the true story here is that Medusa was a victim because of her physical beauty, and then she became empowered and as a result was feared.
What if Athena exiled and turned her it into a gorgon not as a punishment, but as an act of grace and empowerment? That never again should Medusa be violated? She gave her space and a powerful means to protect herself. Medusa now had the ability turn to stone anyone who came after her with the intent to harm or violate.
Even after Perseus managed to kill Medusa by her severing her head from her body, her power wasn’t diminished. It’s said that the blood from her head had the ability to both kill and to raise from the dead. A lock of her hair was used to protect an entire city!!
Medusa is a symbol of feminine rage. Patriarchy sees the female body as either something to exploit, to fear or to distain, rather than respect and revere. It certainly doesn’t want push back or empowered rage. So we’ve been spoon fed these ghastly distorted tales, warning women to “know their place”. But reading between the lines we see a while other story.
Righteous Rage alway has a place in society and within each of us.
In yesterday‘s post I spoke of the goddess Durga, with her many arms and her ability to destroy demons and to protect and liberate. What if Medusa is really just a vilified archetype similar to Durga? Imagine stopping violence and lies dead in its tracks just by one’s gaze ? By calling it for what it is?
Read between the lines, we see a whole other story of Medusa than what we’ve been fed. We see the story of righteous rage and feminine justice. And the power it has to destroy, heal and protect.
Image: statue by Luciano Garbati – reimagining of Medusa
#medusa
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 