Boy oh Boy- Proud to have been able to assist

These boys who am sure look different today or I would not share .

Neighbors in a complex that was 2 boys under 2 and then the twins arrived early .

This couple was up against it in every way possible and knew no one .

My council was agreeable to the owner – landlord until it wasn’t .

The eldest 2 were on the spectrum and I shared what I knew .

They left , no court for anyone else in these situations; just me .

Deputies were called many times to that unit where environmental toxins were hard to keep at bay and kids were adversely affected .

I asked for help on my local group on Facebook and an angelic couple did respond .

I sat with the gentle man with the boys while his wife took Mom to clear some legal issues.

When they returned I had the infant twins in my arms and each was sleeping !!!

How’d you do that ? I smiled and just glowed inside because I do know and don’t diagnose it .

There were many rumors about this couple but I didn’t witness illegal acts and my focus was on the boys .

I learned later that though my council of the Dad ,Mom had surrendered to her spiritual journey and that was super great news !!

Moving out of Virginia was the very best thing these parents could do for their sons and themselves .

The owner – landlord was knowing before this couple moved in and had a record as well… I feel I had a right to know but things went from very bad to worse as I became weaker and learned more that insured my eviction as COVID gave landlord the opportunity to retaliate.

Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

Grief , Holidays & Sensory Memories

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/202211/grief-holidays-and-sensory-memories

James Redfield – Childhood

I believe the real question concerning our early experiences in life should be this: Why would I have chosen to be born in this place, and to this cast of characters? What could I have possibly had in mind?

The purpose behind such a question is to find a higher understanding of our experience with our family and origin. Remember, our early family was the environment in which each of us first learned what the world was like and what was expected of us as human beings. A child must learn everything, not just the name of every object in the universe, but the meaning that these objects have in human life. To learn this, we had to watch closely how our parents or caretakers interpreted this vast world. This means we spend the first decade of life looking at the world through the eyes of our parents to see their descriptions, emotional reactions, and creativity. And this identification shapes and structures our initial worldview.

To find the spiritual reason we were born to our parents, we must look very deeply at who they were, how they viewed the world, and perhaps more importantly, at their dreams, both realized and unrealized. 🙏✨

Childress -Treatment

I should talk about treatment.

You should know stuff about treatment. I thought about telling you about delusional disorders, you should know what they are too. But you need to know about treatment more.

Not the treatment of your children and this pathology – yet – just treatment of treatment stuff. Like behavior therapy and an Applied Behavioral Analysis. You should know about that (it will lead into DBT therapy because DBT is based on behavioral therapy principles of Applied Behavioral Analysis).

Behavior therapy is the “B” in DBT. You should know what the A-B-C’s of ABA are. What? Exactly.

It’s easy once you understand it. The Contingent Visitation Schedule is a behavior therapy structure (over a Strategic family systems intervention).

You should know about Solution-Focused therapy most definitely. That’s what’s going to unlock the trauma piece of the puzzle and get things moving forward. Do things seem stuck in one place? Solution-Focused therapy will unstick it.

You should also know about Narrative therapy – it is excellent. It’s a tricky little post-modern social constructionsist therapy, it’s in the same school of psychotherapy as Solution-Focused therapy. I use Narrative therapy all the time and no one sees it because no one knows what it is. I should introduce you to Narrative therapy.

Don’t try this at home kids, Dr. Childress is a trained professional. If untrained people start using knowledge willy-nilly, you might create a better world, and you wouldn’t want that.

So be careful with the knowledge I give you. The application of knowledge by untrained people could create a wonderful world, and you’re not ready for that yet – so use it in small doses so you don’t create wonderful too fast. Slowly.

I should tell you about therapy. Not therapy for your kids, not exactly, not yet. Just therapy for therapy things. What is it and how does it work.

There’s schools of therapy – four – actually five – actually six. Five and six are amazingly effective, but you need to know schools one-through-four as the basics for understanding therapy, then add five, then add six.

The four primary schools are

1. Psychoanalytic – Freud and the couch – this is the grand-daddy school of them all, called “depth-psychology” – it’s evolved to Self Psychology with a primary guy Kohut who is immensely relevant to the family conflict pathology in the courts. Bowlby, attachment, and Tronick, intersubjectivity, are in the psychoanalytic school.

2. Cognitive-Behavioral (CBT) – Skinner and lab animals – this is the reward-and-punishment behavioral therapy approach. Actually it’s about cues and triggers – what cues (elicits) the behavior. Sometimes it’s what we think – that’s the cognitive part of CBT. It’s the primary school in use most everywhere, and CBT is the foundation for DBT (Linehan).

3. Humanisitic-Existential – self-actualization and growth – this is the soft and accepting school of therapy – Rogers Client Centered therapy. This school of therapy is about transformations, it’s not appropriate for the pathology here in the family courts.

Family Systems – it’s about families and how they work – this is the school of psychotherapy that should be applied when diagnosing and treating family conflict – there’s three schools within family systems – Minuchin Structural – Haley & Madanes Strategic – Bowen Bowenian (he kinda describes it all, with the others expanding on Bowen-themes).

The fifth school is Post-Modern Social Constructionism – I think of them as boutique therapies – Cultural therapy – Feminist therapy – Solution-Focused therapy – Narrative therapy. They are all amazingly powerful, tricky to learn but powerful when used.

I strongly suggest the addition of Solution-Focused therapy to DBT family therapy for this pathology in the courts, it will release the process from its focus on the past. I add Solution-Focused therapy to pretty much everything I do from the other schools of psychotherapy.

I like Narrative therapy a lot. I use it a lot. I embed Narrative therapy into my work in the other schools as well. The Post-Modern Social Construction schools of psychotherapy are like principles – you can use the principles within the other schools as well.

They all blend. But do you know what happens when you blend a bunch of paints together? It turns to mud-color. Mixing colors to create a painting is a professional craft.

I should tell you about therapy. You’re going to want DBT (court-adapted), that’s from the Cognitive-Behavioral school, so you should know about an Applied Behavioral Analysis, you’ll find that helpful.

You should know about attachment-therapy, that’s from the Psychoanalytic school – that’s going to be Tronick and his breach-and-repair sequence. You’ll find that helpful too – watch Tronick’s Still Face YouTube description of his research on the breach-and-repair sequence.

You should know about Solution-Focused therapy too so you can get un-stuck from your stuck. You’d probably like to be unstuck from your stuck.

Dr. Childress and the School of Rock… er… Psychotherapy, this Sunday 8 Pacific on Facebook Live. Let’s change the world – slowly – go slow – you don’t want to create wonderful too fast, you’re not ready for a wonderful world just yet, so just use a little of the knowledge I give you to solve little things until you’re ready to solve everything.

Don’t create the solution too fast because then you won’t have a problem to fix, and you need your problem. Why do you need your problem? I don’t know. It makes no sense to me, but you hold onto it so I guess you need it.

So fix it slowly. Otherwise you’ll wind up with everything fixed and you won’t have your problems anymore.

Dr. Childress – Schools of Psychotherapy – Sunday over morning coffee and crumpets. Let’s rock this Internet thing and take her out for a spin to see what she can do – tomorrow at 8 Pacific.

Schools of Psychotherapy and coffee with Dr. Childress.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Get Your Kids Back Free Workshop 11-14/18

Join me on November 14th through the 18th for my free, live workshop, Let’s Get Your Kids Back. I will be live each day at 3:00 PM PT in the Alliance to Solve Parental Alienation Facebook group. Register today and receive your workbook. The countdown begins!

Let’s Get Your Kids Back Workshop

Childress on the Targeted Parent

It’s all here ; the result of my diagnosis

by a psychiatrist Axis l was “ problematic

marriage . That deserved a diagnosis of

Bipolar l , from an alumni of psychiatrist!

Of course he listed Histrionic Personality

which ignored the very apparent Domestic

Abuse ,the toxic to me RX began with

Lithium which being a metal ; I’m allergic

to . Upon my complaints of horrid side

effects , a coated version of Lithium was

prescribed ! I was unaware and too ill

to research and did not have a partner who

was interested in anything but my ability’s

to keep his house and his kids .

Ever feel your world is upside-down. I wanna talk about that.

I’ve decided I want to talk about you this Sunday. I was thinking I might want to tell you about your children. Empathy and all that, help you understand what’s going on. But I decided not yet.

I want to talk about you first, the targeted parent as everyone calls you, the chosen parent as Dorcy calls you. She’s right, the child is choosing you to lead the family, the other parent can’t do it, they’re collapsing.

You need support. We’re working on it… your world is a work in progress shall we say. Do things seem a little upside-down. Yeah, i know. That’s ’cause it is… upside-down. That’s true. You live in a crazy world of family stuff right now.

You’re called the targeted parent because you’re the target of spousal abuse – you’re being emotionally and psychologically abused by the other spouse and parent using the child as the weapon.

It is a savage and brutal form of spousal abuse, to use the child as the weapon. Sadistic? Dark Tetrad.

You know that. You live it. I know it too. I want to talk about that. This pathology is spousal abuse. Emotional spousal abuse, psychological spousal abuse, financial spousal abuse, using the child as the weapon of spousal revenge and retaliation.

Everyone says, “It’s not about you, it’s about the child” – no – it’s entirely about you – this is spousal abuse using the child as the weapon. That’s what’s at the driving core of everything… spousal abuse of you.

In weaponizing the child into the spousal abuse, the pathological parent creates such significant psychopathology in the child that it rises to a level of Child Psychological Abuse (DSM-5 V995.51).

But the reason is the weaponization of the child into the spousal abuse, the spousal emotional and psychological abuse is the driving core of everything (DSM-5 V995.82 Spouse or Partner Abuse, Psychological).

You know it’s true. You live it. I know it’s true too. I wanna talk about you being abused by this pathology, by the other parent weaponizing the child.

This is a savage and immensely brutal emotional and psychological spousal abuse of the targeted parent. You know that. I know that. I wanna talk about that. I want to talk about you, the targeted parent.

You’re a target… but you’re not a victim. Being a victim is in your mind, not in reality. You control you. Yeah, you’ve got a big target on you… so move faster and more skillfully than the pathology does. It’s pattern, it’s predictable.

The pathology seeks to destabilize you in every way possible – it tries to trigger you into your fears. Don’t trigger, plan ahead. Trauma is pattern, it replicates pattern.

You want a treatment plan, a written treatment plan to fix things. Hold onto that and don’t let go.

I wanna talk about you, not behind your back or anything, right to your face sort of… your virtual face in this-here cyber-world place thingy I love the Internet.

Sunday at 8:00 Pacific, let’s talk about you, the targeted parent over coffee. We’ll see if we can get things right-side up again. Crazy world, eh?

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologists, CA PSY 18857

How to Grow Up as a Man

Much more can be done towards healthier boys who become healthy , loving , compassionate men .

What that are taught as little boys is how to isolate their anger , hide emotions and not have facts with which to make choices .

I’ve encountered more than a few men who have been groomed to social correctness , the family over all else , unhealthy bonds with unhealthy demanding parent , triangles that destroy any outsider who does not conform to the family dictates…

Forever bound together , too often in trauma is the war within that does take prisoners and only truths can break the bonds that bind .

The end of man kind , I feel can be avoided by balancing the distorted feminine in each of us , male or female .

Spirit knows no gender .

It is an individual choice and effort to heal this wound , and I pray for more awakening to this .

The end of man kind , does not include the feminine Wo man and that’s not a put down but a prayer 🙏 for healing and wakefulness .

Blessings & ✌️

Dona Luna 🙏❤️🎃