Tag: parents

New Supply

I did not have any idea that things were challenging to the degree they were in his new gal , new life .They shared a passion to target me given any opportunity and I was baited more than a few time much to my regret .

They had great fun and felt like winners and then the health decline and her awareness that he was not interested enough to be supportive , he was done . And she split .

So yes he can continue to infinity these brutal experiences as his health and. soul emancipation are ignored .

It used to blow my mind , how he never saw our family as scared and holy and worth his every effort to unite rather than alienate .

Trauma Bonds& Children

Did you know that we’re not the only ones who experience trauma-bonding in toxic relationships?

If you have a narcissist in your home with your children (as their parent or otherwise), they will become trauma-bonded, too.

This partly explains why many children, regardless of age, seem to “side” with the narcissistic parent. There are other reasons for this, but trauma bonding is one of the primary ones. They can’t help themselves.

I wrote an article about the damage narcissists does to children. You can read it here:

👉 https://bit.ly/NarcissistsDevastateChildren

Just as you have a hard time analyzing why you dislike the narcissist, but can’t seem to leave them, children are even less equipped to handle trauma-bonding and the other symptoms that arise from narcissistic abuse.

Many of the same dynamics that you experience in your relationship with the narcissist, your children are also experiencing, no matter how much you may try to shield them.

For example, if the narcissist is your partner and they constantly cheat on you, your children experience the backlash from this, as well. And not only from the narcissist, unfortunately. Think about it…if you’re constantly cheated on by the narcissist, how many hours do you spend playing detective, checking out social media for proof, researching narcissism, having meltdowns in your bedroom, and chatting in the forums?

What often happens is that children are not only ignored and neglected by the narcissist, but you can’t be present with them, either, when you are constantly devastated by repeated infidelities and other relationship dramas.

But aside from that, your children become trauma-bonded to the very person you’re trying to protect them from. There’s really no way to shield them from this if there is a narcissist in the home.

Just as you become euphoric over relationship crumbs, so do children.

Just as you become devastated by the lies, so do children.

We want to believe that children are emotionally resilient, but we are now seeing the devastating effects of this old belief. Just as with us, the trauma they experience becomes deeply embedded and affects them their whole lives…often leading them into their own toxic relationships as they mature and become adults.

When there is a narcissist in the home, children cannot learn what healthy love is and many of their own needs are overlooked or unnoticed. There isn’t a magical bubble that protects them from the dysfunctional dynamics of toxic relationships with dysfunctional people.

+++++++++++++

Ready to put up an electric fence? Then (if you haven’t already), make sure you watch my free workshop on severing trauma bonds.

🖥️ https://bit.ly/7StepsBreaktheNarcissisticSpell

Always thinking of you. Xo

Kim

Boundary Violation

Dr. Annie Kaszina has this to say about forgiveness of your abuser:

Notice, this is all about self-forgiveness. Those people who tell you that you need to forgive the people who hurt and abused you, might well not be considering your feelings in all of this.

Your feelings are what matter.

Toxic people who hurt you quite deliberately don’t need your forgiveness. They won’t do anything good with it. If and when you actually want to forgive them, feel free. But do think what that forgiveness means to you.

It can just mean cutting the cords of resentment – but still holding people accountable for their behavior. In your own mind, at least.

It doesn’t mean exposing yourself to further abuse.

The person who needs your forgiveness is you. Clearly, your life suffered as a result of choices you did or didn’t- could or couldn’t – make.

Even if the choices were wrong, your intention was likely honorable. So, forgive yourself for your mistakes and allow yourself to start to rebuild.

Nark Parent

Anything and everything has been done and said to disqualify me as a parent . As a person

Money is a super power , thus I should not have money to buy a house , a new vehicle, to pay for health,dental treatments, much less travel or invest .

So entitled, he has negotiated leasing contracts , and I receive varied amounts of income per year in a 5 year contract period .

For 20 years !!!

Believing your own lies and expecting me to.

My social security was affected by his 1 check from check company which looked like higher income and thus he paid taxes on it .

With credit & family companies and connections plus his creative abilities allowed him to annul our marriage with a request and large donation!

Nothing he won’t do to save his reputation EXCEPT doing the right thing . Doing as he wrote , promising .

He loves ” his ” kids ….

Truth Tellers

As a child I was treated like a snitch for being honest . I recall telling Dad that Mom was smoking when she told him she was not .

I was young and may not have understood the dynamics but I did not lie or ignore what I saw . Not to say that I was validated rather I was not treated well for refusing the shadow of lies

youtube.com/watch

Splitting ; Child Psychology Abuse

The child who starts creating additional ‘bad’ stories about the target parent has truly been alienated. They have ‘split’ off the fear, guilt, sadness, and confusion so they can behave in a way that hurts the other parent and pleases the favoured parent, who might not love them otherwise. They act out of fear, and much coercive control and manipulation. It is, of course, child psychological abuse. When we get contact with these poor children, we have to be extremely careful not to talk about manipulation, lies, parental alienation, and as a target parent, you have to be so immensely strong, emotionally and mentally because there is so much injustice being carried out. Please take time to make sure you are in the best mental and emotional health you can be. Stay strong.

This comes up , threats to expose me as a sexual predator for innocent childhood exchanges now weaponized to shut me up

Lots of folks want to twist the knife in once you’re targeted by an animal individual who will do anything, use anybody , pay any amount of money to WIN

#NotMyWar

Child Abuse

Please follow me on Instagram – thanks.

https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

The parent-child relationship is one of the strongest human bonds and it is totally heartbreaking when a parent and a child are no longer in contact. Two reasons for this can be parental alienation or estrangement. Two sides of the same coin. Both involve grief, regret, torment, and heartbreaking separation, but are also different as I shall try to explain below.

In the Journal of Forensic Science, the difference between parental alienation and realistic estrangement was defined this way: Parental alienation is the rejection of a parent without legitimate justification and realistic estrangement is the rejection of a parent for a good reason.

Parental alienation: When the relationship was previously loving, and in the absence of emotional or physical abuse, parental alienation is seldom initiated by the child. This pathological behaviour is born of a false or illogical belief fostered by the alienating parent, out of hatred, fear, envy, or disrespect, usually during and after a high conflict divorce, though alienation behaviours might have started while the parents were living together under the same roof. The alienating parent will use the child as a weapon by undermining their previously happy, loving relationship with the mentally healthy parent. With parental alienation, the child treats the parents as good and bad, right and wrong. They take on the alienating parent’s beliefs, justifications, fears, anger, language … they become loyal defenders of the ‘good’ parent because that parent has worked on them. Some liken it to a cult leader and their followers, or to brainwashing. The child aligns with the aggressor (please see my post on this).

Estrangement: Although this is also traumatic and heartbreaking, it is different to parental alienation. It doesn’t stem from the other parent doing all they can to destroy the parent/child loving relationship, but instead from the child’s independent-minded decision. The child puts up a boundary to prevent unwanted behaviour from his/her parent. This can include a great many things, including family conflict, disparaging behaviour, disagreements over life choices, violence, and abusive language .. … It is sadly fairly common for a parent who is estranged from his/her children to blame the other parent of parental alienation. It is easier to blame others than to take on any blame and responsibility themselves. The parent’s behaviour could be driving a child away, but their lawyer blames it on alienation. This is a travesty of justice, and courts must be more aware of these false accusations. It is important to evidence everything.

Whether you are going through estrangement or parental alienation, it is essential to get the emotional support you need. If you are reunited with your child, you can also try family counselling to help repair the relationship. I advocate Conscious Parenting. Whatever you choose, never hesitate to reach out for help. If the reconnection isn’t yet happening, or it’s been a long time since you’ve experienced separation, make sure you are looking after yourself, to get beyond grief and rage, and try to accept the situation, best you can. You deserve to be happy.

Emotional Partners : Using Children for emotional support

www.fatherly.com/parenting/parentification-parents-relying-kids-for-emotional-support