Dr. Annie Kaszina has this to say about forgiveness of your abuser:
Notice, this is all about self-forgiveness. Those people who tell you that you need to forgive the people who hurt and abused you, might well not be considering your feelings in all of this.
Your feelings are what matter.
Toxic people who hurt you quite deliberately don’t need your forgiveness. They won’t do anything good with it. If and when you actually want to forgive them, feel free. But do think what that forgiveness means to you.
It can just mean cutting the cords of resentment – but still holding people accountable for their behavior. In your own mind, at least.
It doesn’t mean exposing yourself to further abuse.
The person who needs your forgiveness is you. Clearly, your life suffered as a result of choices you did or didn’t- could or couldn’t – make.
Even if the choices were wrong, your intention was likely honorable. So, forgive yourself for your mistakes and allow yourself to start to rebuild.