Tag: human rights

What therapy should be ; Dan Edmonds Ed.D

When a distressed person enters the realm of modern psychiatric practice they are first confronted with what Laing terms as the ‘psychiatric ceremonial’. In this process, the experience of the person is not considered. Rather, the psychiatrist sits in a place of judgment, he being considered sane and stable, and determines by his subjective observation of behavior how the person is a deviant from what should be expected of him or her and then categorizes it and assigns it a label. There is no concern for the person’s experience, rather the person is seen as an ‘it’, as an object whose behavior is to be analyzed. Science is only able to examine what is, not what will be. It is based on duplication of results, but can we duplicate experience. When we merely look at behavior without understanding the context of it, we draw false conclusions. Understanding the context may lead us to see that the behavior is not truly meaningless after all. Frankl states, “An incurably psychotic individual may lose his usefulness but yet retain the dignity of a human being…a doctor, who would still interpret his role mainly as that of a technician would confess that he sees in his patient nothing more than a machine…but man is ultimately self-determining.”
Laing states, “behavior therapy is the most extreme example of such schizoid theory and practice and proposes to think and act purely in terms of the other without reference to the self of the therapist or the patient, in terms of behavior without experience, in terms of objects rather than persons. It is inevitably therefore a technique of nonmeeting, of manipulation, and social control.’ Experience is the soul of psychotherapy and we should note that the term psychotherapy literally means the ‘healing of the soul’. The therapeutic process should be a meeting of two human beings, it should be the sharing and understanding of experience. Laing states that “I see you and you see me. I experience you, and you experience me. I see your behavior and you see my behavior. But I do not and never will see your experience of me.” It is popular today to look at individuals’ behaviors merely as the result of chemical processes or the effects of so called chemical imbalances. But then we must ask the question as Laing did- do chemicals come together because they love each other? Do atoms explode because they hate one another?
So often we seek to ignore experience. Laing notes the invalidation of experience by such comments as ‘that never happened’, or the trivialization of
experience, or to invalidate its content by such words as “it wasn’t really that way’ or ‘how can you think such a thing?” We must realize that we exist in an existential vacuum, and it is these things that lead to the development of aggression, addiction, depression. Our behaviors are how we communicate distress; they are for some the only form of communication they know. Their behaviors communicate to us a glimpse of their experience. “If our experience is destroyed, our behavior will be destructive. If our experience is destroyed, we will have lost our selves (pg.28).” The therapeutic process is a shamanic voyage, a journeying with another person. But can two human beings truly come together? Are there too many barriers? Can we put aside our affiliations, our ethnicities, our religions, and all the other things that set us apart? Can we come together completely bare and share in the human condition? Nietzsche stated, “Nihilism represents the ultimate logical conclusion of our great values and ideas- because we must experience nihilism before we can find out what value these ‘values’ really had.” So, we must come together in nothingness and from this to ex nihilo, from nothing, become. We must as Frankl (pg. 112) stated be able to transform tragedy into triumph.
But without often realizing it, therapists and others become agents of oppression. Is our work solely leading people to become proper conformists, to do what others are doing? Is our work solely to make people adapt to totalitarianism, to do what they are told to do? It has always been these two processes that have led to the most dangerous of
outcomes. When freedom and autonomy are taken, and individuals can no longer be individuals, when critical thinking has ceased, we have entered a dreadful place. Maybe we are already there. Freedom is to have choice and have regard for others. License is to do which one wishes without regards to the other. Often today we see the violence evoked on people in the name of a common good or a common cause, or as Durkheim would say the collective consciousness. We can even justify our brutality as progress if what we are doing somehow subdues a person, makes them more amenable to society, or brings us satisfaction. If we can turn a person into a ‘them’ by ascribing a label, then ‘we’ can feel justified to treat them as we wish. This violence which calls itself love can be found within the very structure of the family. Within the structure of the family are certain rules that are established that the members are to adhere to. These rules may not always be sensible, but nonetheless become a part of how the family operates. They are generally known whether or not they always are followed. It is dependent on who is in control and what the consequences are for violation whether the family members adhere to the established rules of conducting themselves.

-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.
MEETING OF TWO PERSONS: WHAT THERAPY SHOULD BE

Mad

Those who are called ‘mentally ill’ or ‘mad’ are the voices in the wilderness, the ones who point to the distress of society, the ones who convict it of its crimes. By their ‘strange’ appearance and parting from the ‘norms’, they challenge and reveal that humanity is not free. They reveal that what is normal is but an accepted madness of the majority. Wars, conflicts, social injustice, abused children, all are accepted by the madness of the majority. But the one who dreams awake, that voice crying from the wilderness, sees something different. The eyes of perception are awakened, and a door to a new existence is opened. Yet the opening of this door is a frightful experience, for it unleashes all that which is the human condition, every experience, every vision, the collective realm of human beings. If there is any illness, it is not with the ‘madman’, it is the society that is ill. And this society has driven the ‘mad’ to that barren place, to that desert. As the prophets of old were rejected by their own, the voice and message of the ‘mad’ is often misunderstood and unheard by those around..

Dr. Dan L. Edmunds

I add this quote

n telling the native’s side he said, “I am telling my story that all may know the war we did not want. War is made to take something that is not your own.”
Yellow Wolf

Relational Disconnection as a Mental Illness

Indigenous psychology views things differently. Within indigenous communities, being bad for the community—harming another in any significant manner—is a sign of illness. Whether robbery, assault, or murder, harming another is believed to be rooted in relational and emotional disconnection (Ross, 2006). Consequently, justice has to do with repairing relationships—restoring respectful and caring connection—toward self, others, community, landscape, and the unseen spiritual world. Healing circles are formed to determine the best course for repairing a particular situation.

Relational Disconnection As Mental Illness

www.kindredmedia.org/2018/10/relational-disconnection-as-mental-illness/

Teach & Release

You will teach them to fly , but they will not fly your flight .

You will teach them to dream , but they will not dream your dream .

You will teach them to live , but they will not live your life .

Nevertheless , in every flight , in every life , in every dream , the print of the way you taught them will remain …

~ Mother Teresa ~

Artist Credit : JinWoo Kim

https://art.co/artists/jinwoo-kim

Judge awards Billions to settle sex abuse claims for Boy Scouts

Boys , men are often ignored in sex abuse cases , it’s often more violent and seldom discussed and healed .

This court award signals the change that’s deserved for males .

roanoke.com/news/national/judge-approves-2-46-billion-reorganization-plan-for-boy-scouts-to-settle-abuse-claims/article_33aee2a9-1902-50aa-9f9c-8df36210cd2e.html

Side Effects of Having a Distorted Parent

Child Psychological Abuse

Lifelong Effects on Children Who Grow Up With Narcissistic Personality Disordered Parents–
by Dr. Laurel a Sills, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Michigan.  9/2/2022
~~
The deeply damaging effects to a personality when growing up with especially subtle narcissism (which is not recognized by outsiders) is extremely long-lasting and often unseen by others. Kids may act strong and unaffected and become leaders or bossy and controlling and seem super confident, or, people- please in such a way that
most people like them and don’t notice that they are appeasing to everybody and not standing up for what they want.

Anxiety is high for the child who grows up confused by hearing they are loved by their parent who doesn’t guide them, dismisses them, is insensitive towards them, is hypercritical, micromanaging, doesn’t seem to see them or respect them. The child feels one way, but is told another or that they are overreacting, being dramatic, making mountains out of molehills, or dismissed, etc.; thus undermining the child’s self-trust and reliance upon their own feelings and perceptions to make accurate conclusions.

As a result, the child is apt to constantly need reassurance and seek outside validation rather than feel self-reliant and trust themself to be able to discern things accurately and appropriately.

Since narcissists unconsciously project their own self hatred and dislike of self onto others, the names they call their children typically are descriptors of themselves or some form of their own self-shame or doubt. If a parent says a child is selfish look and see if the parent is acting that way. If the parent says the child is stupid look and see if the parent is acting unaware of important dynamics.

When narcissistic parents use their children as an extension of themselves, they often push their kids to do the things they never did to finish unresolved dynamics from their own backgrounds. i.e. forcing a child to play football because the parent want to live through them and have their child reflect strength and athleticism and popularity. Forcing K
kids to act in their own mirror images rather than see their child as separate and unique individuals is another common pitfall.

Validating a child’s feelings is vital to help them grow to trust their own perceptions. It’s also important to help distinguish somebody else’s problems from a child’s behaviors.
As children, we must be seen for our own uniqueness and our own strengths and limitations; not be ridiculed for our limitations and molded into a mini version of our parent.

In therapy, the adult children has to express their confusion about how they felt in their families versus what they were told by the unhealthy family members. It takes outside validation, much love and compassion, an explanation for adult children to eventually recognize they were the victims of parents who were also suffering from their upbringing, and suffering that makes them project all kinds of things onto them. I’m not talking about physical abuse and more violent narcissism and sociopathic narcissism. I’m talking about even subtle abuse emotional, constant negative commentary, ignoring, eye/rolling, dismissive body language, disrespect, disregard mixed in with warm fuzzies, a
Conditional love, threats to withdraw love if a child doesn’t do what is asked or commanded… all part of the felt verbal and emotional abuse even when the parent is unaware.

Because the parent is unaware, when they later are confronted by adult children or teenagers about how they were feeling hurt by that parent, that parent often acts as if they were the one mortally wounded. Often the parent acts angry, surprised, betrayed, retaliates, or deeply hurt.

Sometimes parents give their children the silent treatment when a child tells their parent how they’ve been hurt by them. This just compounds the child’s ( teen or adult child’s) guilt and confusion.

Good therapy, in my opinion, combines validation, education, explanation, empathy, and teaching how to cope and separate what that parent did and said to the child from the real truth of who the child ( who became adult or teen pending on what age they are entering therapy) really is and who they were born to be.

The growth to health for the children of Narcissitic parents is to find honest, real, compassionate and loving people who can support, guide, teach and demonstrate unconditional love with guidelines for appropriate behavior in the world. Empathy is vital. Depth of emotions and discussion about feelings is vital. Healing comes in the relational and attachment realms. 

Because the narcissistic parent is so confident and sure of themselves, they’re very intimidating to confront even by the spouse. When children see their other parent staying with the narcissistic parent and not challenging them, it certainly makes challenging that parent even more difficult. The ones that are brave enough to challenge, should not be punished, but instead revered for sharing their feelings and being brave. They have to learn to say things in a healthy way and be given a safe place to share with a professional who can validate them away from the Narcissitic parent(s) and protect them from further ridicule, minimization or dismissal.

The Walrus, the Carpenter- Dr Craig Childress

Many years ago, I fell down the rabbit hole to here and discovered all you parents and your children trapped.

I also found a large menagerie of curious creatures surrounding you in the Wonderland of the family courts, parenting coordinators, “reunification therapists” (there’s no such thing), custody evaluators, GALs, and experts-experts-experts everywhere you look.

You can’t turn around in the Wonderland of here without bumping into an “expert.”

You were trapped in Wonderland of crazy. I had to get you back out to the real world. The creatures of Wonderland, including your “experts”, don’t want you to leave… with your money, they covet your money.

They’ll seek to hold you trapped.

We’re leaving… we’ve left.

Not one more child. We are not losing one more child. We are not losing your child… specifically. We are OUT of Wonderland.

The Red Queen of forensic psychology and the hookah smoking caterpillars of your “experts” will try to keep you from leaving.

Leave.

There is another path – a choice. Established knowledge and clinical psychology, assessment, diagnosis, and treatment.

You want a written treatment plan – google mental health treatment plans and read the top two returns – you want one of those please.

Don’t follow the Walrus and Carpenter little parental clams, or they’ll eat you for their supper and throw your empty shells away.

Walrus & the Carpenter (Childress, 2019)

https://drcraigchildressblog.com/2019/11/17/the-walrus-the-carpenter/

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

drcraigchildressblog.com/2019/11/17/the-walrus-the-carpenter/

Lonesome

This began before I was 35 , I was lonely for adult support and friendship in a trusting marriage .

It was very sad to acknowledge and live with , but healing lessons taught me , on my owness and a more equable relationship has not shown itself . I’m ok with that , I won’t know the detached , distorted abuse of past .

I haven’t been allowed to participate in anyway with 6 grandchildren as the trauma bond and emotional extortion prohibit growth, healing ❤️‍🩹 based on facts without drama .

Writing found from a nursing home resident.

“I am 82 years old, I have 4 children, 11 grandchildren, 2 great-grandchildren and a room of 12 square meters.

I no longer have a home or expensive things, but I have someone who will clean my room, prepare food and change my bedding, measure my blood pressure and weigh me.

I no longer have the laughter of my grandchildren around me, I don’t see them growing, hugging and arguing. Some come to me every 15 days, some every three or four months, and some never.

I don’t bake cakes anymore, I don’t dig up the garden. I still have hobbies and I like to read, but my eyes quickly hurt.

I don’t know how much longer, but I have to get used to this loneliness. Here at this home, I lead group work and help those who are worse than me as much as I can.

Until recently, I read aloud to an immobile woman in the room next to me, we used to sing together, but she died the other day.

They say life is getting longer. Why? When I’m alone, I can look at photos of my family and memories I brought from home. And that’s all. I miss them.

I hope that the next generations will understand that families are born to have a future (with children) and that they do not forget about the family even in old age.”

PLEASE DON’T FORGET YOUR LOVED ONES.

Smart Meters , EMF & Bill Gates ( wants 2 rule the world)

Opting out of Smart Meters is a reality in Virginia . I had a protective kit on the smart meter when I learned the homeowner could opt out .

I told my ” landlord ” who did contact APCO and the smart meter was removed !

I had an adverse reaction in August as I worked outside and sweat ensued , in all those places I sweat , I blistered big time . There was a transformer in the front yard area emitting enough radiation to poison me and cause the blisters .

This is very serious and I’m very concerned for loved ones health and well being , especially children .

Moisture draws the radiation ☢️!

I’m not fond of utilities who gouge folks for profit and as part of the experimental services that are utilized and adversely affect many people who are unaware .

Children’s well being deserves more attention .

Big Daddy watches over the usage of electricity and can lower or even cut it off ?

No freaking way should this be allowed !

Bill Gates has a huge Karmic lesson coming .

Blessings 🙏 & Peace ☮️

Dona Luna 👁❤️

articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2022/09/07/smart-meters-privacy-risk.aspx