It’s increasingly common for older adults to age without children or grandchildren. Here are tips to stay engaged and prepare for aging independently.
Tag: erasing families
A personal account : what has psychiatry done for me ? – Mad in America
What Psychiatry Has Done for Me
Tammy
The stigma and discrimination I have had to endure due to my ‘diagnosis’ crushed my spirit and the dreams I had for my life. But the most devastating part of all is how it altered my relationship with my two sons.
In psychiatry’s wake, society continues to deny people their civil rights based solely upon its perception that ‘they’ need ‘help’. But is psychiatric help the answer? I can think of far more kindhearted and empathetic methods and less stressful ways of helping someone cope with a life crisis or distressing situation than locking them up, forcibly drugging them and stigmatizing them with a scarlet letter for the rest of their lives.
Another accounting of the damage / abuse of psychiatry :
The road to hell, they say, is paved with the best of intentions. As a boy of ten, a psychiatrist diagnosed me with a condition then known as MBD (Minimal Brain Dysfunction) which has, in the years since, become what is now known ADHD, I was put on a daily dose of 350mg of Thorazine and remained on it for roughly seven years. Now the possibility that because I was a child, along with three siblings, who had been abandoned by both of his parents before the age of six, sent to live with a psychologically (and sometimes, physically abusive,) grandfather, placed in an orphanage by the age of eight, and separated from his siblings two years later, would have anything to do with the emotional and mild behavioral issues I presented, did not seem to cross her mind. I was an intelligent (IQ of 145) and sensitive child who had experienced a considerable amount oain and disruption in his young life and was a target for bullies in school which led me to become withdrawn from and subsequently rejected by his peers, which led a psychiatrist consulted by my long term psychologist to suggest that I was borderline psychotic (a diagnosis which my therapist, thankfully, didn’t accept.) None of the psychiatrists and psychologists that dealt with my case had intent to do me harm, but their good intentions resulted in my growing into an adult who would never achieve his full potential and who would spend his entire life in social isolation. I went twenty five years without contact with my siblings after graduating highschool and my relationship with them, save the youngest of my two oldest sisters, is tenuous at best. Now, at the age of sixty, with my life winding down, I look back across the years and despair over what might have been if I had never crossed paths with that first psychiatrist.
www.madinamerica.com/2022/12/what-psychiatry-has-done-for-me/
Narcissist WIN must save face
Trauma & Betrayal
Because of their lack of empathy, a narcissist cannot really love you.
When they first meet you, they can and do become infatuated. But it’s not with you as a person. It’s the unrealistic fantasy they form that you see them as flawless. This is why the love-bombing period is so intense (in most cases).
However, they simply cannot maintain this charade forever. Love bombing is initially fun for the narcissist, but it eventually becomes draining and an annoyance to them.
This is not only when you begin to see their true colors start to peek through, but also when they begin to see that you’re a regular human and not the Peter Pan story character they made up in their mind.
They recognize that you’re beginning to understand that something isn’t quite right and this is when you fall from grace and the devaluation begins.
When it’s all said and done, narcissists know of only one way to keep people entangled with them and it’s through trauma and betrayal.
Repeated trauma and betrayal carried out by the narcissist strengthens insecure attachments and abandonment wounds (often borne through the narcissist) guaranteeing you will feel jealous, needy, and worried all the time, perpetually seeking reassurance and validation from the narcissist – the very person who will never give you either of those things.
Stop trying to have a heart-to-heart with the narcissist in order to get them to understand your point of view or discuss the ever-elusive resolutions to your relationship problems.
Narcissists don’t want to solve problems because that’s how they keep you hooked.
They can’t comprehend that you have willingly given your love and forgiveness to them because you care for them. This explains why nothing you do is ever good enough.
To the narcissist, compatibility means that you have learned their love language and are engaging with it.
And the longer you stay with them, the more they believe this to be true.
Kim
Bible speaks of Narcissist
Why the Narcissist’s behavior is ignored by family
The Role of Money in Child Psychological Abuse /Alienation
So true !
The last 5 years in family was a freaking Hell on earth and I watched the effects on our sons .
Of course I let him down , not doing my part to keep a house , tend to ALL the things he didn’t and did not serve his personal needs .
Of course knowing ALL he did not educate himself or sons ; excusing my not being with them as my being ” sick ” .
It seemed to be just what he needed ; a ” crazy ” wife , and absolutely no light shown on his abuse , neglect etc . He’s the injured one ; the Victim 💯
Money is his Super Power and he used it against me before and after marriage and still denies he has embezzled my income .
The facts are facts and cannot be denied . A contract handwritten to resolve this with help with a home and purchase of a new SUV was just more of his plot 4 years ago when we signed the lease agreement and I let him , knowing I can and will prove the facts .
Sending him home listings with no reply , he has his form of Justice by my homelessness. And loss of time and property as much more money goes out to accommodate homelessness , challenging health issues , all delight him and he feels proves me to be bad at finances !
Twisted Thinking
Money is weaponized when it comes to our children
That’s why he feels I deserve less because having a home or money would entice male friends and possibly sons to connect with me .
That’s not going to happen .
His ever present greed is revolting , as much as his denial that he is in any way responsible for anything ever .
What part does MONEY play in PARENTAL ALIENATION?
Please see more of my posts on Instagram. I post 2-6 each day to spread awareness about parental alienation, to inform and to uplift. I hope they help. https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/
Money often motivates alienating behaviours. If there’s a personality disorder too, it’s a double whammy. Alienators are controlling, and money is a system of control too. Mind control is subtle, and it coercively nudges and persuades and influences, it changes thoughts and beliefs, but it’s entirely invisible. All anyone might see is the pretence of protection, best intentions, and care while, in truth it’s all about profit and power. Entirely selfish behaviours. This is how governments work too, and a debt-based financial system which is in itself disordered and broken. So, money and alienation often go hand in hand, a nightmare partnership, controlling and manipulating. The child might feel they are acting autonomously. They may believe the ‘grass is greener’ with the alienating parent. They may have been induced with bribes by a ‘Disneyland Parent’. Deep down, the child will know they are being played, but children, especially at a certain stage, are more selfish, and pliable, and try to spread their wings more anyway. But if there were years of a good, loving relationship with you and your alienated child/ren, despite all the rubbish the alienating parent says and does, the love will still exist between you and your child/ren. It may take time, but the relationship can be repaired
End of Soul Contracts
So many relationships, family ties and long-term connections are currently in chaos and emotional pain…The divide between those who embody Love and those who still live in fear is very real. We’re seeing some people we’ve known and tolerated for years on a completely different wavelength…
Literally. We no longer have anything in common and our differences are greater than the karmic bond that once held us together. This is all a natural misalignment of energy… The quantum realignment process. As energy attracts, and different energies repel…
As ever higher frequency energies continue to hit the planet, those of us who can absorb the light are no longer aligned with those who cannot. The change is taking place on a very physical level.
Those we no longer resonate with are literally vibrating out of our lives as we align with different levels within dimensions. While we may still be aware of their presence on the planet, the energies ensure that our paths no longer cross.
This is the physical shift that divides 3D and 5D that is being created in our individual reality.
You may have tried everything to maintain those relationships or maybe some kind of change has occurred and you instinctively know to walk away. Listen to your intuition and follow the messages you are receiving.
These relationships have already expired.
You have learned everything you need to learn from this situation and it is time to let go and move on. Send love and healing to those you are releasing.
As you come out of these soul contracts, you will raise your vibration and align with your Soul family.
🌹💜🌹-Christine Chris-
Hidden Knowledge-Inspired
This message was perfect and expressed my life long attempt to live in harmony with Gaia and those around me .
I have great faith in my self and try to hold that faith for our sons but allow that I can be the warning , if not thy r example of how women have been used as the catalyst to control men and children . To abuse the mother , trickles down to the kids .When secrets , lies and denial of truths that would allow healing and liberation as I have surrendered to time after time , year after year until 2021 made it clear just how “Dead ” I am and how beneath them I am , how stupid , how inept .
No Thank You !
I head their Dad’s words , his conditioning , his culling his sons to hate and reject their Mom . He could not liberate himself from his and I failed in not freeing him from their trauma bond .
I am so totally ready and eager as I have been for decades, learning all I could , creating and evolving as I noted for a decade or so how these episodes and challenges are intent to imped my efforts and or break me ; hoping I’ll commit suicide and since I’ve been told by a very frank in law , our son’s friends think their Mom , me is DEAD !!
And yes huge pieces of their Mom is dead and the desire to begin anew , to communicate to heal their trauma is rejected . Grandchildren are with held to show me their power if I don’t do as I’m told !
Nope ❤️🩹
I’m aware of Heaven on Earth and plan to see the results of the evolution that no longer exalts abuse and depravities that dishonor the family . Or target one member to insure a WIN 💯
Blessings & Peace
Dona Luna
Legacy – Family History
The picture I’ve included here is of ( left to right) , my great grandmother Laura Margret Creasy Wheeler, James Abner Wheeler , Dad , holding me and Granny Minnie Zola holding my cousin Pam Ragland .
I was born 2/29/52
* Due to a ” hint” on Ancestry I learned that Minnie Zola Creasy Wheeler lost her Dad in 1952!!
What grief must have dwelt in her soul 👁
I have tears for her, I had my Dad but major parts of him became lost to me due to my psychiatric “care” and his grief / anger/depression.
I’m so glad we had our time together to heal so much and for me to do my best to see that he had the dignity that he deserved .
Unfortunately 2 siblings took over his legal and medical and he made dementia based decisions . He was used and over medicated ; the greed was sickening .
Sadly I knew it all too well as surely did Granny Minnie Zola❤️
This was spring or early summer and Great Grandmother Laura is in a coat and scarf . Apparently already ill , she passed on June 7, 1953. She was born May 20, 1878.
* Ex left Dec 98, Mom died 4/9/99
Minnie Zola was born 1906.
Died 1994
** I vaguely remember her funeral , and did see her before she passed. Granny had warned me that if she could no longer take care of herself , she’d saved medications and do it herself.
**Valium did not take her out ; not quickly anyway and I saw her . She reached out for me her nails grazing my cheek . The gesture frightened me for I was 1 year on Psychiatric RX , certainly not myself . I long since accepted that she was scared out her mind and wanted to warn me . Her big brown eyes were wild .
* Minnie Zola – Valium
Dona Luna – Xanax
Both highly addictive Benzos
Warner Hartwell Wheeler -1908
Died 1977..
Granny Minnie Zola had been run off from her family farm with what she could carry ; by Warner and had to place the 2 youngest children, a son and a daughter until she became stabilized .
Warner and Minnie Zola had 5 sons and 2 daughters and lost 1 son .
The family farm was 120 acres given my grandparents by her parents Laura and James Edward.
I had heard stories of his abuse and temper which necessitated my Dad live elsewhere at an early age . He spoke of Warner not buying his school books .
He did have some kind of relationship with Warner until I was around 10/12
Warner it would seem was a moon shine maker , his sons were to help him with the fields of corn he grew . He had boxes of cash money seen by other family members .
Granny Minnie Zola struggled the rest of her life .
A baby boy was near term when Warner pushed her on outside steps and though a doctor was sent for baby David died and she was blamed . Of course he blamed her .
At some point as the new psychiatric RX came on the scene she was given Valium as was Granny Cora was , when the farm was sold to APCO electric company to create Smith Mountain Lake . Granny Cora was highly sensitive already and very religious and became labeled with a psychiatric disorder .
Valium decreased life vitality and increased mental stressors which neither Granny deserved .
I feel that somehow they knew I would solve the issue by having similar experiences with regard to psychiatric “care”.
I’m not sure why I had to learn these historical facts so late in life , experiencing the trauma with regard to the end of my marriage and my Mom’s death months later .
My aunt had taken Granny Cora to the same psychiatrist I ended up with but didn’t like him and Granny was spared , his medical abuse . Nothing was said when he became my psychiatrist for 13 very long and tragic years but it seemed to answer the prayers of ex who attended the same collage as Dr and to my knowledge never met Dr
My dentist and psychiatrist both had last names that started with an L and both were Polish and honored ex as my ” concerned ” partner !
So I’m sure that with the ancestry of abuse , the support and guidance of ancestors all these decades , that completion of these cycles have been cleared as I survived the trauma and abuse and alienation of a marital partner , loss of finances , character assignation and disposal by children , extended family and friends and religion that has not healed but continues to target me .
11/23/21 brought another partner in business that had groomed me in a case of fraud that was to deprive me of all I have financially and I experienced yet another lesson in law that did not serve me or the factual truths but the criminal who still walks freely, committing his crimes . My request for codes and for a detective were ignored by one office .
I am grateful to have installed a new battery and new tires in my 98 4Runner as on Dec 14 after breaking into my place and shutting off my internet , my jeep became my ” office ” .
My old jeep , a 4 cylinder could not make it up the steep icy driveway and I had to call a wrecker who was very kind . In the Spring I had to pay out $1200 for engine repair from the effort .
My business partner claimed to own the property and gave me an inclusive price of $650
Electric , internet and rent for a very shabby single wide that was to be my shelter until spring 2022 when we would build my house .
He did not mean a word of it , I discovered he rented the single wide and has no physical address . He later turned off my electric but thankfully I had received my pay and hired a lawyer who informed him of the illegal transaction and it was back on by days end . I later discovered he has not paid the electric in months and was shut off just after I left May 1 2022
I have been in a motel at triple the expense of rental , yes it’s inclusive . My things are in storage , one being 40 miles away costing $300 per month .
I am Thankful to the magistrates I talked to who informed me there were many laws broken and the many deputies I talked to but each were unable to help until the orders were given by the one office that much like ex and business partner and our children …are not interested in me what so ever .
I’m sure Granny Minnie Zola felt the sting as did I but I allowed that I would keep my head and heart on my intended outcome .
I met ex in Nov around this time and he offered to rent me a room ; I eventually moved in and acknowledge that stability and safety were never part of our life over the next 21 years . And of course all he surveyed was his , controlling every aspect of my life until I started to wake in 2004 and he began the process of trying to strip me of everything I had ; his property. $$$$
His sons , his grandchildren and his story , all ripe for the truths that release the trauma bonds and end the insanity of malignant intimate partner violence and effect much better laws that end the erasing of families due to the distorted reality of one who has no God , no morality no empathy and no place in my life !
Blessings & Peace
Dona Luna
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 