Because of their lack of empathy, a narcissist cannot really love you.
When they first meet you, they can and do become infatuated. But it’s not with you as a person. It’s the unrealistic fantasy they form that you see them as flawless. This is why the love-bombing period is so intense (in most cases).
However, they simply cannot maintain this charade forever. Love bombing is initially fun for the narcissist, but it eventually becomes draining and an annoyance to them.
This is not only when you begin to see their true colors start to peek through, but also when they begin to see that you’re a regular human and not the Peter Pan story character they made up in their mind.
They recognize that you’re beginning to understand that something isn’t quite right and this is when you fall from grace and the devaluation begins.
When it’s all said and done, narcissists know of only one way to keep people entangled with them and it’s through trauma and betrayal.
Repeated trauma and betrayal carried out by the narcissist strengthens insecure attachments and abandonment wounds (often borne through the narcissist) guaranteeing you will feel jealous, needy, and worried all the time, perpetually seeking reassurance and validation from the narcissist – the very person who will never give you either of those things.
Stop trying to have a heart-to-heart with the narcissist in order to get them to understand your point of view or discuss the ever-elusive resolutions to your relationship problems.
Narcissists don’t want to solve problems because that’s how they keep you hooked.
They can’t comprehend that you have willingly given your love and forgiveness to them because you care for them. This explains why nothing you do is ever good enough.
To the narcissist, compatibility means that you have learned their love language and are engaging with it.
And the longer you stay with them, the more they believe this to be true.