Tag: Domestic Abuse
Anger
“If you don’t like something someone is doing that’s your shadow”
“If you have a negative judgement about someone that’s a projection”
🤢
“If you feel angry that’s actually your past trauma getting triggered”
“If you feel a strong NO to something that’s your ego being in resistance”
And-
“All of these are opportunities to look within. Work on yourself. As well as open and surrender your resistance”
🤢
I used to believe these things.
They informed my life and my choices.
Yes, sometimes they are true.
They are not rules to be applied blindly to everything.
Like many “conscious women” they paved the way for my own ritualized self harm in the form of pathological self gaslighting.
They drained my life force and dissociated me from my self protective instincts and wisdom.
They entrapped me in narcissistic cult/abusive relationship dynamics.
They groomed me to be perfect prey.
I have watched so many people lost in this labyrinth of false spirituality, completely disconnected from themselves.
Completely dissociated from their own precious human existence. Their own sacred inner knowing.
Getting no where in their “healing” or “awakening”.
Spinning their wheels with no wisdom.
Trapped in the mind and held hostage by these beliefs.
Beliefs which I now believe are a kind of virus that originated from the minds of abusers wrapped in spiritual robes.
I have seen women’s healthy defenses completely dismantled by this paradigm.
I have watched women become sick and sucked dry because of these beliefs.
One woman I loved even died.
Anger is what broke this spell for me.
Anger is what clarified my ability to see.
Anger was the medicine that brought me back to life.
Anger is what grounded me back into my body and sanity.
Anger is exactly what this paradigm does not want you to feel and own.
Now I wonder who would be motivated to tell you that?
Take Your Time : Sherrie Campbell PhD
When toxic people leave your life, or you decide to get them out of your life, you are gifted the time and space to self-reflect on what you learned and to see where you need to grow to become stronger. If you skip the self-reflection process, you will repeat your pattern of attracting toxic people into your life over and again.
Life is hard after toxic people exit because they have twisted your head in a million different directions causing you to doubt yourself and your perception of things. It takes time in self-reflection to right yourself in the direction of what you know to be the truth of your experience.
Take the proper time to heal. Take the time you need to trust that you are not and were not crazy. Take the time to recognize you were abused and in what ways you were abused. Taking this time helps you see what you need to see in others to keep yourself safe.
Trauma Response
The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response.
Your “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. And you needed it to shield your heart from abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you.
From the parent who was absent and abandoned you by choice or the parent who was never home from working three jobs to feed and house you.
From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy but never offered a safe haven that honoured your heart.
From the friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave.
From all the situations when someone told you “we’re in this together” or “I got you” then abandoned you, leaving you to pick up the pieces when shit got real, leaving you to handle your part and their part, too.
From all the lies and all the betrayals.
You learned along the way that you just couldn’t really trust people. Or that you could trust people, but only up to a certain point.
Extreme-independence IS. A. TRUST. ISSUE.
You learnt: if I don’t put myself in a situation where I rely on someone, I won’t have to be disappointed when they don’t show up for me, or when they drop the ball… because they will ALWAYS drop the ball EVENTUALLY right?
You may even have been intentionally taught this protection strategy by generations of hurt ancestors who came before you.
Extreme-independence is a preemptive strike against heartbreak.
So, you don’t trust anyone.
And you don’t trust yourself, either, to choose people.
To trust is to hope, to trust is to be vulnerable.
“Never again,” you vow.
But no matter how you dress it up and display it proudly to make it seem like this level of independence is what you always wanted to be, in truth it’s your wounded, scarred, broken heart behind a protective brick wall.
Impenetrable. Nothing gets in. No hurt gets in. But no love gets in either.
Fortresses and armor are for those in battle, or who believe the battle is coming.
It’s a trauma response.
The good news is trauma that is acknowledged is trauma that can be healed.
You are worthy of having support.
You are worthy of having true partnership.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of having your heart held.
You are worthy to be adored.
You are worthy to be cherished.
You are worthy to have someone say, “You rest. I got this.” And actually deliver on that promise.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy to receive.
You are worthy.
You don’t have to earn it.
You don’t have to prove it.
You don’t have to bargain for it.
You don’t have to beg for it.
You are worthy.
Worthy.
Simply because you exist.
- Jamila White
Suppressed Trauma Shows
Implosion of Narcissistic Is Inevitable
This morning out side of my
room , I am blessed with no
one here at the moment ! The
basic deal yesterday and I
chose to do very little .
The birds are joy filled and
singing on high and there are
moments when there is no
traffic and the singing sounds
are pure ! Heaven on Earth
includes non disturbed nature
sight and sound ; and sound
will be at my discretion and
mostly my discernment 🙏🏡
As will be guest ie visitors
who notify me as to their
intention to see me .
I deserve the peace and I
have grasp the continued
attempts to alienate me
are they indeed war between
shadow and light that ends
the choke hold of behaviors
such as narcissistic for several
reasons to intend to expound
on .
So I was only present a few
times when my abuser , took
the low road , became the
victim who was entitled to
walk out on his family , and
his ” partner ” , quickly co
habitat with his new supply
and all the horrific abuses
targeting me in intensified
and I was not allowed to be
in her airspace . The times
I was she childishly had to
pointy place me far away
or behind her ( as with
3rd son’s high school
graduation)
I wasn’t allowed to attend his
college graduation , nor his
wedding , nor have I met his
2 sons .
I did not pay towards these life
events so I did not deserve to
attend .
So the wedding pictures have
the newer supply , who split
after almost same year span
and nearly dead .
She called as I visited , heard
my voice and I heard her
screaming !?!?!
So this is his life or was .,,
Not being a man of change
or communication with
honesty , I have noted the
signs of implosion .
I am not the example , I was
the warning ; it would not
serve me to make any
efforts towards helping him
as the last example I
experienced was the end of
any more test .
Legal business matters are
more urgent , for several
reasons and as usual he goes
silent and disconnected ;
not an ounce of cooperation
as our sons hold tight, the
past is present . I again can
do nor say anything .
I am resting a lot , mentally
holding peace and faith , but
my body has other
experiences.
A 1st partner , contractually
owned me through the laws
of a Common Wealth that up
holds the standard quo in
patriarchal abuses that’s
gained clarity as we
experience, the country of
men, not a country of law .
That paradigm is domestic
abuse and domestic terror
and has no place on New
Earth !
It’s way past time ; I
surrendered to the path both
the marital partnership and
the resent attempt to partner
while doing business as well
as my living space and
reducing my income income
as indicated this is his business
and his faith upholds these
acts !
Both feel chosen and enabled
to target me , attempting to
leave me very little . Age ,
health, and a conscious that
says this is wrong or illegal.
The repeated lessons of not
finding legal assistance , left
no doubts who did not have
an interest in my situation
and as such cost me the truth
towards getting charges ;
same repetitive lack of
concern and consciousness
that’s a red flag 🚩
Neither are interested in doing
the right thing . This is the
energy that sucked up our
sons , and we all know
we have free will… eventually.
Healing is supported , choices
are made , resolutions do
exist , and I’m quite sure I am
not responsible nor deserving
of being targeted by anyone
for any reason ; it does say
more about the other person
but for now I’m safe , seizing
the restorative aspects of
this fraudulent attempt at
divestment; while assured
I was invested and would
not know I was being taken
and that no one would care .
Excellent response by Deputies
magistrates and Agency on
Aging , as well as Austin
who has my back and for Spirit
who assures me , all is coming
together in true liberation
of any energies who do not
support me and I am grateful
to be closing out ancestral
trauma for both sides of my
family ; that our grandchildren
as well as we , never have to
have these abuses come up
for replay , repeating the
trauma .
Blood Lines are cleared and
new again for New Earth and
New Beginnings !
Blessings on this 4th
Let freedom / Liberation and
Unity rock & roll
Dona Luna
Boundary Violation
Dr. Annie Kaszina has this to say about forgiveness of your abuser:
Notice, this is all about self-forgiveness. Those people who tell you that you need to forgive the people who hurt and abused you, might well not be considering your feelings in all of this.
Your feelings are what matter.
Toxic people who hurt you quite deliberately don’t need your forgiveness. They won’t do anything good with it. If and when you actually want to forgive them, feel free. But do think what that forgiveness means to you.
It can just mean cutting the cords of resentment – but still holding people accountable for their behavior. In your own mind, at least.
It doesn’t mean exposing yourself to further abuse.
The person who needs your forgiveness is you. Clearly, your life suffered as a result of choices you did or didn’t- could or couldn’t – make.
Even if the choices were wrong, your intention was likely honorable. So, forgive yourself for your mistakes and allow yourself to start to rebuild.
Why Narks fake Intimacy
Perhaps some , distorted
folks do fake intimacy . The
fact is it never existed on his
part, ever ! I knew that was
the place we needed to go
to succeed; it never got there .
It was good insanity to lies
his war , his lies , his
addictions .
It took , years to face that fact
and realize that smut and
pornography, swinging and
drinking at every opportunity
with no growth whatsoever
in our marriage . End Game
I considered options and
internalizing his rejects , lack
of support with expectations
that our home was in perfect
order and our lives were to
be envied .
Never Knew Lonely as deeply
and began to know how
weaponized he would make
every body and everything
I held sacred and holy .
In the 2 decades since he
released himself from any
and all emotional ties with
me , all that remains is hatred
and the continuation of my
living death so truths die with
me .
There was a beginning .
There is an end .
His WAR belongs to him as
liberation has released each
if our family to peruse their
lives as they wish .
War
Peace
And in between Thy Will Is
Done
Blessings & Peace ✌️
Dona Luna
Narcissist Relationships
Being in a relationship with someone who is a narcissist, sociopath or has a personality disorder is extremely confusing. It is difficult to know what was real and what was made up. Did you make it up or did they? And why? You can get lost in a maze of why’s but there will most likely never be a answer that makes sense to us. Because we don’t think that way. The relationship was set up to be confusing. Your abuser benefits from you being unsure of where you stand. Keeping things in turmoil makes it easier for questionable behavior to be missed. The goal is to make you insecure, unsure of yourself. The less confidence you have the more reassurance you will be looking for. This is actually a very calculated. plan set up by your abuser. They know what they are doing. It’s important that you educate yourself and then take the necessary steps to protect yourself.
#Whywomendontleave#violenceagainstwomen#domesticabuse#abuser#divorcinganarcissist #domesticviolence#narsissisticlove #sociopath#exhusband#abusive #divorce#manipulation#toxic#toxicrelationship#trauma#crazymaking#silenttreatment#manipulation#ptsd#cptsd#postseparationabuse#gaslighting#lying#cheating #liar#drama#betrayal #chaos
Nark Parent
Anything and everything has been done and said to disqualify me as a parent . As a person
Money is a super power , thus I should not have money to buy a house , a new vehicle, to pay for health,dental treatments, much less travel or invest .
So entitled, he has negotiated leasing contracts , and I receive varied amounts of income per year in a 5 year contract period .
For 20 years !!!
Believing your own lies and expecting me to.
My social security was affected by his 1 check from check company which looked like higher income and thus he paid taxes on it .
With credit & family companies and connections plus his creative abilities allowed him to annul our marriage with a request and large donation!
Nothing he won’t do to save his reputation EXCEPT doing the right thing . Doing as he wrote , promising .
He loves ” his ” kids ….
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 