Tag: survivors

A child’s view of parental alienation

From a child’s perspective:⁠

⁠

Mom/Dad tells me I can’t see my other parent because they’re bad and they’ve done all these bad things, but I don’t understand why they’d do that. I always felt happy to be with them and I miss them. It hurts when I’m not allowed to see them. Why can’t I have both my parents like before? Why can’t I see both my parents like my mom/dad does? They’re angry with my mom/dad, but I’m not … although the things I hear are really upsetting. ⁠

⁠

I remember when we did things together – like picnics and playing games. Now it’s just me and Mom/Dad. They say the other parent doesn’t care about me, but I can’t believe that’s true. Surely that’s not right! They used to laugh with me and hug me. It’s confusing because the stories I hear are so different from what I remember. It’s like my Mom/Dad I miss so much has always been a monster, and I didn’t know it. All the time, I had no idea how bad they really were, and I can’t get my head around it. I’ve kind of lost all the good memories too because I didn’t know the truth of what they have been all this time. It’s so sad. ⁠

⁠

I try to understand it all, but it’s hard. I want to ask questions, but I’m scared it’ll make Mom/Dad angry or sad. Sometimes I hear them talking about court or lawyers, and I don’t know why. I wish I could tell them that I love both of them and want to see Mom/Dad too. It feels like a secret I’m not supposed to say out loud.⁠

⁠

I don’t know why everything changed. I don’t want to think that one of my parents is bad. It’s like my heart is split in two, and I want things to go back to how they used to be. I wish I could understand why this is happening. I don’t think I can cope with thinking about it anymore. I’m just going to have to cut off because it’s too hard and upsetting. I do believe what my Mom/Dad says. Why would they lie to me? They are doing all they can to protect me from all this.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#alienatedchild

#parentalalienation

#childpsychologicalabuse

Those who do not move , do not notice their chains

The quote about liberation from oppression captures how people can become so entangled in a situation that they fail to recognise their own subjugation. Alienated children are caught in a web of emotional manipulation, coercive control, psychological abuse, fear, and loyalty binds that prevent them from seeing the truth about the situation and, as a result, being distanced from a loving parent. The alienating parent creates a situation where the child’s perception becomes skewed, making it difficult for them to recognise the unhealthy dynamics at play and how they’ve become stuck, as if in chains. The children might believe they are acting out of their own free will, but they are held captive by invisible emotional chains, preventing them from breaking free and realising the depth of their situation. Often during custody battles, the control over the children and the indoctrination going on worsens. We need to keep raising awareness about parental alienation and its effects on children, as well as the need for intervention to help these children break free from the psychological control that binds them.⁠

⁠

Rosa Luxemburg was a Polish theorist, philosopher, economist, and advocate for democracy, women’s rights, and worker’s liberation.⁠

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#emotionalabuse

#parentalalienationawareness

#CoerciveControl

#traumabond

#parentalalienation

#custodybattle

#custody

#familycourt

#ChildCustody

Pathology of Lies – Craig Childress , PsyD

Parallel Process

I will need to go silent on our world around us… it’s becoming too dangerous to speak out. But before I grow silent… I’ll make some observations for the 50% of minds who can see.

Compassion is a good thing. Empathy for the suffering of others is a good thing.

The absence of empathy is the capacity for cruelty – and the capacity for cruelty is the source of evil. The Dark Triad and Dark Tetrad are the core of evil.

The pathology in the family courts is evil. The pathology in our social surround is evil.

They – the target – whether in the family courts or in our society – “deserve” to suffer for their inadequacy… for their sins… for the bad things they supposedly did.

In the family courts, that’s the targeted parent who “deserves” to suffer – in our social surround… we have a variety of targets du jour. Pick your favorite target of fear – non-White people of color – the deep state – immigrants – liberals – LGBTQ – people who are different.

Anyone who makes me afraid.

In the family courts the targeted parent “deserves” to suffer because of their supposed inadequacy as a parent. That’s the narcissistic value system of cruelty – it’s okay to be cruel to someone when they “deserve” it.

The child is taught this narcissistic value of cruelty – and the child says immensely cruel things to the targeted parent because the parent supposedly “deserves” to suffer for what they did to the child, for their inadequacy as a parent.

In our social surround, the targets for cruelty are people of color, non-White immigrants, federal workers who are lazy, LGBTQ who are different, the media who criticize, Ukraine, pick your target who “deserve” to suffer because of the supposedly bad things they did.

Ukraine started the war – they deserve to suffer.

Trans-gender are different – they deserve to suffer.

People of color are not White – they deserve to suffer.

Federal workers are lazy parasites – they deserve to suffer.

The Jews killed Jesus – they deserve to suffer.

Pick your target. Whoever you want, whoever makes you afraid, whoever is different. The old woman who lives alone must be a witch – burn her.

They didn’t do bad things. They’re just normal-range people. The target, whether it’s the targeted parent in the family courts, or the targeted scapegoat in society, is just normal.

But they are villainized to justify the cruelty inflicted on them – they “deserve” to suffer, they “deserve” the cruelty.

We are purging our Shadow. We are purging our darkness within that we project onto the other to make them “deserve” our cruelty, reflecting our damaged love and bonding system, our absence of empathy for their suffering.

No one will comes. There’s no rescue. Not now, not when we’ve reached the purging of our Shadow. Your abuser can dominate you and do whatever they want… and there’s nothing you can do about it.

They have allies with power… you don’t. Accept your abuse like a good compliant victim.

Maga-mind is the pathological parent. Trump is the narcissistic dad variant (Dark Triad/Dark Tetrad). The 50% of the nation who are liberal (i.e., have normal-range compassion and empathy for the child-nation and each other) are the normal-range targeted parent in the parallel process of abuse.

The narcissistic dad-parent makes false allegations that are used to justify their cruelty – Ukraine started the war with Russia – whoever the “they” are of their selected victim will “deserve” to suffer for the bad things they did.

The bad things aren’t actually bad things… the bad things are the unresolved trauma from childhood – the lack of love – the attachment trauma – that is then projected onto the other.

The “bad-mommy” or “bad-man” of the family court narrative is not real, it’s a lie, it represents the unresolved trauma in the pathological parent from their childhood that is being projected onto the current normal-range mom or dad.

It’s called a scapegoat. The sins of the sinful person are projected into the target, and then the target is killed to supposedly alleviate the person’s sins.

There were no sins in the scapegoat. The targeted parent is a normal-range mom or dad, the sins of narcissistic cruelty are in the allied parent. The sins remain in the person and are never transferred to the scapegoat.

It’s all projection. To see inside them, flip what they say to make it about themselves… everything will be revealed.

Pathological Parent: “I’m not the inadequate parent (spouse) – you are. You deserve to suffer for your inadequacy as a parent (spouse). You never loved the child (me) as the child “deserves” to be loved (as I deserve to be loved).”

Truth: “I’m an inadequate parent (and spouse). I deserve to be rejected because of the bad things I am. I don’t love the child, I never loved you. I’m incapable of love because I’m inadequate as a person.”

Everything – everything – everything – about this pathology is projection. Flip it and you’ll see what’s going on. The pathological narcissistic-borderline-dark personality parent isn’t revealing truth about the targeted parent… they are revealing the truth about themselves.

Pathological Parent: “The targeted parent is abusing the child” –

Reality: “I am abusing the child.”

The pathological parent decides who “deserves” their cruelty because of the “bad things” they did (the unresolved trauma from childhood that can never be solved) – it’s the unresolved trauma being projected out onto the target.

Pathological Parent: “I’m not bad – you are. You deserve to suffer for the bad things you do.”

What to look for in the assessment of the court-involved family conflict is the absence of empathy – the capacity for cruelty – probe for empathy and you won’t find it. A normal-range person will feel sad at the suffering of others – a pathologically cruel person won’t.

When prompted for empathy – when given a situation that should provoke empathy and compassion – the pathological parent (and child) in the family courts will respond that the targeted parent “deserves” to suffer for some past injury they supposedly inflicted on the child (or allied parent).

What’s interesting about this pathogen – i.e, about the projection of unresolved trauma in the attachment networks – a ripple of childhood attachment trauma – is that there are people who will be in the role of the targeted parent in the family court context, and who are in the role of the psychologically abusive parent in the social context of our times.

And they cannot see the parallel process. A shared delusion cannot – cannot – see itself… “despite contrary evidence” – it’s impossible.

I’m a mirror. I’m showing you to you. They will attack the mirror for the refection they see.

One reason among many that I post on Trump is to push the Maga-minds away from here.

I’m making a point not yet comprehended – I’m identifying a group of minds. They care more about Trump than they do their own children. I’m making a point about their motivations – I’m a mirror.

They can’t see themselves – no self-reflective insight. It’s impossible. Everything inside is projected out – that is the defense.

There’s a large group of targeted parents who won’t come to this location to receive the information I provide here about how to help their children, how to protect their child from child abuse, because they care more about Trump than they do the information.

If there is negative (contrary) information about Trump… their motivation to avoid the negative information will be stronger than their motivation to protect their child. It’s a cult.

How many times has the parent-child relationship in the family courts been described as a cult mind? That’s a good description of the fused psychological state.

I’m a mirror. I show you to you.

Another reason I comment about what’s happening is to teach using the parallel process for those 50% of minds that are not part of the shared persecutory delusion of “we’re being malevolently treated in some way” – who are not part of the cult.

The pathology of the Dark Triad/Dark Tetrad variant is on full display. It’s the core of evil.

We’re headed for complete destruction – with forensic psychology in the family courts – in our social surround. Same. Parallel process. It’s the same pathogen there and here, a Dark Triad/Dark Tetrad pathology.

Some things can only be seen looking the other direction in time. Trauma shuts down the frontal lobe executive function systems for three things – linear-logical reasoning – foresight and planning ahead – self-reflective insight.

The absence of foresight is going to become a substantial problem… for the forensic psychologists in the family courts… for the Trump administration.

Once you destroy, you then need to govern with a dysfunctional system. The mental health system in the family courts is completely broken. The system of forensic custody evaluations is entirely dysfunctional.

Same thing.

The exact same thing will happen in our social surround. Watch. Everything will be torn down and broken, beginning with the rule of law, everything will become chaotic and dysfunctional… just like the family courts and the mental health system in the courts.

There’s a reason no prior president ever did what Trump is doing. Do you want to know the reason? Wait… you’ll find out.

There are NO competent mental health services in the family courts. None. Zero. Parents are 98% UNABLE to get a diagnostic assessment of their families, and 100% unable to get effective treatment.

Let that sink in – understand it. There are no – none – zero – competent mental health services in the family courts. Parents cannot – cannot – get a diagnosis for the problem.

Everyone everywhere else, with all the other forms of pathology (problem) can get a diagnosis and treatment. Not parents and children in the family courts – zero – none.

We are headed into a state of complete dysfunction in the family courts – and – with our nation. This is the Encounter time. This is my time to Encounter the forensic psychologists directly. I’m going to collapse the dysfunctional system – so it can be properly rebuilt.

Trump is entirely collapsing the systems of government – so he and his minions can rebuild them in their desired image – long live King Donald I.

I’m encountering the forensic psychologists – by name – I’m destroying the “deep state” of psychologists who are disabling the mental health system response to the pathology.

I’m riding the same lines – just differently. I’m a clinical psychologist, so I’ve flipped some things on the lines of unfolding. Your lines will take a darker turn.

This is a pathology of lies – in the family courts – in our society.

Ukraine didn’t start the war. Russia did. Everything about this pathology is a lie. It isn’t about custody, it’s about treatment. The solution is NOT in the legal system, a child rejecting a parent is not a crime, it’s a pathology. The solution is in the healthcare system – diagnosis and treatment.

BUT… you can’t get a diagnosis or treatment. The systems in the family courts are 100% dysfunctional. We are headed toward the same thing everywhere around us.

We are purging. I’ll be purging the mental health system in the family courts of its incompetence… which will create a 100% dysfunctional system until competent mental health services can be established.

Trump and his Maga-mind minions are purging our society… which will create 100% dysfunctional systems. Same… but different outcomes.

The over-line is the incompetence polarity – the under-line is the competence pole of balance – one dark, one light.

What we’re watching is the Purging. If you want to see an excellent Purging, it’s the French Revolution. I know exactly what’s happening, I’m riding exactly the same lines.

We are in the Encounter phase in our social surround. I’m on the Encounter phase in the family courts. My work is precise. I’m riding lines of movement – cowabunga baby – this is going to be one helluva ride.

I’m estimating my departure from here in five years (plus or minus two)… then… everything becomes entirely your problem and entirely none of mine.

If you’re going to use my understanding and knowledge… you’d better use it quickly, I’m turning 70 this year and I’m not planning on sticking around.

I’ve done things to shorten the time of collapse in the family courts. There’s nothing I can do for you in our larger social surround. I spoke when I need to speak to protect the nation I love.

This is what you want. This is what you need. You need to purge your Shadow… again.

Now it’s time for me to grow silent… it’s becoming too dangerous to speak on the over-line. Hail Trump <Maga hand salute of mutual love>. Everything Trump does is exactly right.

Bots watch. Bots move. Advertising bots creating my algorithm for marketing are one thing, governmental surveillance bots searching for the “enemies within” to be purged are something else.

Elon Musk is going to save us. Elon Must is brilliant. Trump is the anointed of God. Trump is our savior. Mark Zuckerberg is a innovative genius and Meta is my favorite social media platform. We need more tax cuts for the wealthy… it will trickle down to everyone else eventually.

Bots are moving and watching – AI has arrived – Big Brother of 1984 is arriving a few years later than predicted by Orwell. Face recognition is here. They have our data. They know where we are. It’s not quite here yet… but I plan ahead.

I need to clean up my online algorithm so bots won’t locate me. Shhh… Hail Trump <Maga hand gesture of mutual love>. Trump is going to make America Great again. Canada should be our 51st state and we should get Greenland from Denmark. Gaza should be redeveloped into beachfront resorts for the wealthy. Ukraine started the war with Russia. Putin is on our side.

What’s in it for us?

I’ll need to grow silent soon so the bots won’t notice me once the surveillance bots arrive. I’m small, I’m inconspicuous. Nothing to see here. I’m leaving not arriving.

This is your world that’s coming, not mine. This is the world you wanted. This is the world you’ll get.

We need to fire the lazy federal workers. We need to deport immigrants to make our country White again, we need to eliminate the undesirable people. There are no trans-gender people, they don’t exist, and anyone who says they’re trans-gender should be banned from participation in our society and shunned… and they should be persecuted for being different.

Tariffs are an excellent economic policy. Elon Musk will save us. Elon Musk is brilliant and he’s our protector. Elon will make everything right with the world if we simply give him the power to do what he wants to fix the things that are broken.

For those of you following along on your Play at Home version of Parallel Process, as far as I can see, the family courts are ahead of our social surround. The collapse will be quicker, and the recovery will come sooner.

Germany in 1935 took ten years and a World War to reach Germany in 1945… and the world was in ruin when they arrived at the end. We’ve still a long way to go in an increasingly dangerous world around us.

Hail Trump <Maga hand gesture of mutual love>. Trump is always right. Trump is making America Great… again.

We’ll see what happens. June is when the next solid numbers arrive for your equations of you. Watch out for big rocks.

Never mind. It’s too late and there’s nothing the forensic psychologists can do at this point. There’s nothing you can do either. Complete destruction of the old ways is coming – here – there – everywhere.

Long live King Donald I, the anointed of God who will save our nation from the dangers it faces.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist

WA 61538481

OR 3942 – CA 18857

Reconnection Trauma & Trust /Charlie McCarthy

The short answer is: Yes, relationships can be restored.

The longer answer is that, speaking from personal and professional experience, rebuilding trust (the love is there, just dormant/suppressed/disallowed) after experiencing parental alienation and the subsequent trauma can be a challenging journey for both the parent and the child. Many of us are so thrilled when we have communication and contact again, that we get our hopes up, giddily high. It’s obviously amazing to get to that point, having suffered the loss of our children from our lives, and so unjustly, but the road ahead can still (not always) be a winding one with some twists, turns and speedbumps along the way.

Here is some guidance that I hope will help:

Remember that healing is a unique and individual process for each family. Acknowledge and celebrate small milestones in the healing/reconciliation process. Recognise and appreciate the positive moments that signify progress.

Recognise and validate the emotional pain caused by parental alienation. It’s crucial to acknowledge the trauma both you and your child have endured.

Gain a deeper understanding of parental alienation, its effects, and strategies for overcoming it. Educate friends, family, and professionals involved in the child’s life to create a supportive network.

Where it might help things along, engage with mental health professionals who specialise in trauma, family dynamics and have a firm understanding of ‘parental alienation’ (though they might not want to mention those words out loud as they’re loaded and potentially insulting/upsetting to the child.

Consistency in your actions and words is crucial. Demonstrate reliability and a commitment to rebuilding the relationship by being present and involved in your child’s life. Understand that rebuilding trust is a gradual process. Be patient and set realistic expectations for yourself and your child. Avoid rushing the reconciliation process.

Create an environment where open and honest communication is encouraged. Both parties need to express their feelings, fears, and hopes without judgment. However, I would suggest that the child speaks more fully. It can even be that, years down the line, the child is unable to accept that anyone but them was the victim. They have endured a hell of a lot of ‘programming’ in that alienation period. It’s heavy with guilt, shame, anger, grief … let them unload (this isn’t easy) in a ‘safe space’ with you, one where your child feels emotionally secure. It might have to be neutral ground at first. And let them not fear retribution and anger. Do all you can to give them a sounding board, empathy, patience and love.

I hope you enjoy our daily posts, offering guidance. Reach out if I can help you with the coaching I offer.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#narcissisticabuseawareness

Adolp Hitler -Monika Aksumit

In 1923 Adolf Hitler incited an insurrection against the German government. He was tried, given a slap on the wrist, and became a convicted felon. Despite being treated charitably by the judge, Hitler claimed the trial was political persecution and successfully portrayed himself as a victim of the “corrupt” Social Democrats.
Hitler cleverly positioned himself as the voice of the “common man,” railing against the “elites,” cultural “degeneracy,” and the establishment, who he all labeled as “Marxists.” He claimed the education system was indoctrinating children to hate Germany, and promised to return Germany to greatness.

To solidify his base, Hitler masterfully scapegoated minorities for the nation’s problems, exploiting societal divisions with an “us vs. them” narrative. Many Germans took the bait. Hitler’s Nazi Party continued to gain traction, until he became Chancellor in 1933.
Hitler appointed German oligarchs as his economic advisors. He proceeded to privatize government run utilities, solidifying support of the economic elite.

With the working class divided along cultural and ethnic lines, the Nazis shut down workers unions and abolished strikes.
Progressives and trade unionists were imprisoned and sent to concentration camps. Corporate profits skyrocketed while working class Germans lived paycheck to paycheck.

Hitler, who became a billionaire while in office, knew he and his clan of oligarchs could get away with the scam if they constantly had an “enemy within” to blame while the corporatocracy robbed the country blind.

An easy target was one of the smallest minorities. Hitler removed birthright citizenship rights of Jews and started rounding them up for mass deportations for being “illegally” in the country.
The German press under Nazi rule highlighted instances of violence by Jews to convince the public that Jewish immigrants were a danger to the “real Germans.”

Hitler wasted no time dismantling democratic institutions. Loyalty wasn’t just encouraged; it was demanded. Opponents were silenced. Media that dared to questioned[sic] him were vilified as “the enemy” and “Marxists.”

Hitler’s Propaganda Minister, Joseph Goebbels, bragged about how the Nazis were able to intimidate the media into giving them favorable coverage, and didn’t need to give direct orders.
The Nazi regime and its followers collected all books they saw as promoting “degeneracy” or what would be considered “woke” today, and burned them in large bonfires. They also burned books that promoted class consciousness.

Berlin had a thriving LGBTQ community in the 1920s, and even had the first transgender clinic. The Nazis burned it to the ground. LGBTQ people were sent to concentration camps and forced to wear triangle badges. Many were killed in the Holocaust.
The Nazis also saw manhood as under threat by independent women who didn’t rely on men. In 1934, Hitler proclaimed, “A women’s world is her her husband, her family, her children, her house.” Laws that had protected women’s rights were repealed and new laws were introduced to restrict women to the home and in their roles as wives and mothers.

Reproductive rights were severely rolled back, and doctors who performed abortions could face the death penalty.
Despite all of this, the German people didn’t have a similar historical parallel to look upon as a warning.
Most Germans never acted like the sky was falling.

Most just went along with their lives as usual, until many of their lives were snuffed out. By the time Hitler’s reign was forced to an end by the Allied Powers, 11 million people were murdered in the Holocaust, and 70-85 million were killed in WW2 .

Monica Aksamit
Bluesky

Just thought everyone needed a refresher course on this tragic part of world history.