Tag: survivors

Go Lightly

It’s dark because you are trying too hard.

Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly.

Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply.

Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.

I was so preposterously serious in those days, such a humorless little prig.

Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me.

When it comes to dying even. Nothing ponderous, or portentous, or emphatic.

No rhetoric, no tremolos,

no self conscious persona putting on its celebrated imitation of Christ or Little Nell.

And of course, no theology, no metaphysics.

Just the fact of dying and the fact of the clear light.

So throw away your baggage and go forward.

There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet,

trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair.

That’s why you must walk so lightly.

Lightly my darling,

on tiptoes and no luggage,

not even a sponge bag,

completely unencumbered. ~Aldous Huxley

(Book: Island [ad] https://amzn.to/47lc19H)

(Art: Photograph by Goncarlo Claro)

Some Parentified Kids Grow Up to Be Compulsive Caretakers – The Atlantic

Some people who have to be responsible for their siblings or parents as children grow up to be compulsive caretakers.
— Read on www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2017/10/when-kids-have-to-parent-their-siblings-it-affects-them-for-life/543975/

Coming to terms with the pathology of CPA & PA – Charlie Mc Cready

Parents who become alienated (not estranged, alienation is rejection with no justification), from their previously loving children benefit from coming to terms with the pathology. This is to understand the root causes of the problem. We often find we cannot rely on the mental health and legal services offered. If they don’t have an understanding of ‘parental alienation’ it can be a waste of your time and and resources, and potentially exacerbate the situation. That is unfortunate and I hope things will change, but as I write, this is the situation we’re in. There are a number of reasons for this which I often address, but that’s not what this post is about. ⁠

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Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is often recommended during adversarial court cases. It was originally designed for people with borderline personality disorder, and it focuses on teaching emotional management, enhancing interpersonal relationships, and developing mindfulness techniques. Incorporating acceptance and change strategies, DBT emphasises the balance between self-acceptance and personal growth, which is particularly helpful for people struggling with emotional regulation, self-destructive behaviours, and unstable relationships. Where there’s a dearth of empathy and potential for cruel behaviours (in the alienated parent or the children), Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) could be integrated. They are often dealing with the drama, disruption and chaos created by a borderline/narcissistic/dark personality, alienating parent. CFT helps those who are trying to cope with shame, guilt, and self-loathing. It can rewire the shared delusional beliefs imposed on them through the alienating behaviours. It incorporates mindfulness too for stress reduction. ⁠

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Navigating the complexities of parental alienation isn’t easy, but through the application of therapeutic approaches like DBT and CFT, there’s a path toward fostering healing and understanding. Also through my 9-step program or 1-2-1 private coaching, alienated parents can work toward restoring the bond with their children, building resilience, and a more positive future.⁠

#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationawareness #ParentalAlienation #parentalalienationisreal #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedmother #rejectedfather #rejectedparent #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #narcissisticchildabuse #FamilyCourt #familylaw #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissism #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissismawareness #narcissisticparent #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticrelationship #narcissists #narcissismawareness

Nellie Bly- Journalist undercover in an insane asylum

The trailblazing American journalist Nellie Bly began her record-breaking 72-day journey around the world on this day in 1889 — a trip which made her the first person to ever complete the fictional journey depicted in Jules Verne’s “Around the World in Eighty Days”! A minimalist traveler, the 24-year-old Pittsburgh native brought with her only the dress she was wearing, a sturdy overcoat, a wool cap, a few changes of underwear, and a small handbag with her toiletries and writing supplies. She started the 24,899-mile journey from a port near New York City and traveled by steamship to England. From there, she traveled by train across Europe and Asia, by ocean liner across the Pacific Ocean, and by train from San Francisco back to New York. In total, her journey lasted 72 days, six hours, eleven minutes, and fourteen seconds, setting a new world record for fastest circumnavigation.

Bly, one of the earliest muckraking journalists, was also famous for her undercover investigative reports on corruption and social injustices. The year before her famous journey, Bly took an undercover assignment for the New York World where she feigned insanity to get herself committed to the New York City Lunatic Asylum on Blackwell’s Island. Her work pioneered the realm of undercover journalism after she wrote an exposé on the horrific conditions and mistreatment of patients she found there. Bly’s series of articles led to a grand jury investigation and, subsequently, to improved care for the patients and increased funding for the care of people with mental illness.

Nellie Bly told the story of her historic journey in her book “Around the World in Seventy-Two Days and Other Writings” at https://www.amightygirl.com/around-world-seventy-two

For an inspiring new picture book about her journey around the world, we highly recommend “Nellie vs. Elizabeth: Two Daredevil Journalists’ Breakneck Race around the World” for ages 6 to 9 at https://www.amightygirl.com/nellie-vs-elizabeth

For an excellent book for adult readers about Bly’s journey, we recommend “Eighty Days: Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland’s History-Making Race Around the World” at https://www.amightygirl.com/eighty-days

For more books for kids about this pioneering journalist, check out the chapter book “She Persisted: Nellie Bly” for ages 6 to 9 (https://www.amightygirl.com/she-persisted-nellie-bly) and “Who Was Nellie Bly?” for ages 8 to 12 (https://www.amightygirl.com/who-was-nellie-bly)

And, for toys and games to ignite your Mighty Girl’s interest in traveling the world, visit our “Geography Toys” section at http://amgrl.co/1T0VKeS

Grief

Grief can shake us to our core, unraveling the familiar into unfamiliar territory. Its acute pain can convince us joy has perished too, that happiness will never return. I woke up one morning to find I wasn’t fully living anymore, and that my body was locked into a permanent state of clenching, not unlike the way your body prepares for a shot, or a hard blow. I realized I wasn’t even close to any state of happiness, and that somehow I had come to believe that at any moment, it could all be taken away. Being afraid of opening again to life’s beauty, lest it be taken away again so cruelly. Poet Rumi captured this sentiment: “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

In my own seasons of grieving, I wanted to cling to sorrow, to honor all I had lost by resisting solace. Yet light slipped through anyway – hearing music that stirred my spirit, going back to writers and artists whose work gave me joy. Letting go and embracing laughter’s healing. A colleague advised, “Let your heart break open, not closed.” Heartbreak can reveal our wholeness, if we allow it.

Grief works on the soul over time, changing the shape of our capacity to hold joy again. One of my favorite quotes from Leonard Cohen nails this:

“Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.”

We need not rush the journey, simply breathe through the cracks making space for light. On the other side, we are larger, more compassionate, braver. “Akhilanda”, is the literal representation of this: a woman’s body is filled with cracks, incredible light spilling out. Her name means “Never not broken” – she embodies the truth that we are always changing, transforming, perfectly imperfect. And yes, there is joy again.

May we surrender to each wave of grief, trusting we will return again to happiness, cultivated from the fertile soil of loss. Poet Pablo Neruda said “You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming.” Our spirits will bloom brightly once more. Have faith and courage.

The light finds a way.

“Akhilanda”

Mixed Media

2017

Prints:

8X10 Matted and Signed Gallery Print: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1131525005/akhilanda-8×10-signed-and-matted-gallery

4X6 Matted Mini Altar Art: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1231271505/akhilanda-4×6-matted-altar-art-print

Read Thoughts on Britney Spears’ Memoir, ‘The Woman in Me’

Before Britney Spears’ memoir, “The Woman in Me,” was released, some wondered why she wrote it. The answer is simple: She deserves to.
— Read on thestoryexchange.org/there-is-no-statute-of-limitations-on-womens-pain/

Charlie Mc Cready

An alienated parent experiences profound emotional turmoil, feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place. They are often isolated from their child due to the alienating tactics of the other parent, which can lead to overwhelming loneliness and confusion. The deep sense of loss, akin to a ‘living bereavement’, encompasses not just the physical absence of their child but also the loss of the once-strong emotional bond. The alienated parent feels helpless, unable to protect their child from further harm, and may experience anguish and betrayal as their child parrots negative statements from the alienating parent.⁠

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To navigate this hugely difficult situation, alienated parents can seek support through counselling to express their emotions, develop coping strategies, and gain perspective. In the case of the coaching I do, we often work in small groups, which can be incredibly supportive and/or one-to-one work. Prioritising self-care, both physically and emotionally, is crucial. Learning about parental alienation, maintaining boundaries, and considering legal recourse when necessary can empower. Focusing on reconciliation rather than retaliation when interacting with alienated children is crucial. Recognising and addressing these complex emotions is the first step toward healing and potentially rebuilding the parent-child relationship. ⁠

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These daily posts are here to spread awareness, inform and (where possible) uplift. But don’t hesitate to contact me directly if I can help you with coaching. There’s more information on my website. ⁠

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Parental Alienation

#charliemccready #9stepprogram #parentalalienationcoach #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienationisreal #parentalalienation #alienatedchild #alienatedmother #alienatedparent #alienatedfather #rejectedparent #rejectedfather #rejectedmother #highconflictcoparenting #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #highconflictdivorce #divorce #familylaw #FamilyCourt #childabuse #psychologicalchildabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticrelationship #narcissismawareness #narcissism

Medication-free Ward in Tromsø, Norway May Soon Close – Mad In America

The Tromsø ward has shown that offering patients the option to forgo psychiatric medication can be a successful model of care.
— Read on www.madinamerica.com/2023/11/medication-free-ward-in-tromso-norway-may-soon-close/

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and the Impact It Has on Individuals Lives – Real Health

This article is sponsored by Otsuka America Pharmaceutical, Inc.
— Read on www.realhealthmag.com/article/misconceptions-posttraumatic-stress-disorder