Many folks are exposed to trauma, and it’s accepted
as ” normal” , or anything but what it is , and for the
sake of all concerned this is worthy of transforming
ASAP .
Emergency dispatchers are often exposed to duty-related trauma.
— Read on www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma/201709/trauma-exposure-linked-ptsd-in-911-dispatchers
My ” mom/dad” , nurturing Dad , James , who exited
in January 2012, and whose birthing day was January
5 th , 1930. I was born Feb 29 , 1952, his desire for a son
first time child with Mom, Joyce . Mom had a daughter
who was born on Feb 29th 1948, whom was 1 year
old at the time of their marriage March 4 th 1949
In 1951, Mom was rejected by OB as being in labor
and spontaneously delivered Joyce Marie in 1951,
who had died and begun signs of decomposing
Dad explained . Blisters on her body , which is
buried , unmarked in the ancestral church grave
yard ..
I was born in 52, and I’m sure Mom had C-PTSD
and my inability to nurse ,regrettably created
more grief and shame . I had to be returned to the
hospital , severely dehydrated , 5 days after birth.
Dad explained that Mom’s had been unable to
nurture me, and if he had not nurtured me
no one else would have .
I was very happy to have the awareness that he
was slipping away , slowly and we talked of
heart matters and cleared so much , that lacked
only his being made aware , as I did from child
hood on. One pop from his belt , left one mark
and I stood up to him at that time , aged 4/5
and he never ever used physical violence
against me.
He may not have understood me , always but
he wasn’t vicious , or silently withdrawn , we
cleared our stuff and moved onward , never
brought up again.
His last years , were of lifting from a depression
of Mom’s exit in 1999. His restricted life was
a form of self protection , and withdrawal from
family members he came to be reunited with
his last years..The last 5 1/2 months , were high
low and everything between, until his finale .
The growth , the healing, the love as well
as undeniable realities , will lend themselves
to my efforts in transformation , as I witnessed
denial of dignity , and much adverse action
that’s is barbaric . I grasp that it was after-all his
his journey , and I was but a part of it.
The dynamics allowed me to understand my
” caregiving ” was and is instinctive , and
more on mark than not , and the Divinity
and Light of my essence was always tested
in a family , that’s fractured traumatic parts
are denied , and that allowed my poor choices
and failures to escape the mindset of energy
of compliance to abuse in male dominate
examples, ie ” former” ..
I’m not the ” fixer” , it’s not my job , but the
experience of being with Dad as he exited
watching his awareness of spirit guides
and his acceptance , as I witnessed his ” labor”
in returning to the womb of the great mother
my joy was absolute for I knew he would return
as he has in spirit. Our circle , will not be
broken, and he will present in another form,
as he pledged to me , and I to him , as “family
soul mates ” , I His ” Mom, and emotional partner
who grasped his deepest joy and pain, as it
came up in loudness, or harshness or anger ,
his lack of understanding , helplessness
and yes his failings and unhealed trauma ..
We nurtured each other , and it wasn’t grasped
in a dynamic of not communication basic life
issues , and silently approved of disenchantments
and divisions within families .
With Dad’s exit , I stepped away from ” family”
withholders, and abuses that defy what my
perception of family is..
Certainly many ” triggered” acts that related to
” formers” disposal/abuses as if from a play book,
and finally much can be put to rights .
And that gift 🎁, from Dad to me, was not to give
up.. truth and light did , and still do cast away
shadows ; James (supplementor) Abner( Father Of
Light) Wheeler ( wheelwright) was transforming
and transformed from moral suffering , very passionate
and attached , who missed his Mom, Minnie
and felt Mom’s presence and essence until
he exited. Time stopped for him with her passing
as I witnessed in preparing their home for
organization , and ease in preparing , finding
treasures along the way , sharing with him
then siblings ..
Challenges were many , but I know, that he
knows I did my best; he lets me know👍🏼🤓♥️
So missing his actual voice , or physical
presence is tempered by his freedom from
the constraints and trauma and torture of
our current transformation , towards heaven
on earth , I fully expected to be reunited with
Dad , and Mom, on a cosmic level for a reunion
of joy , and bliss that will include many souls
gone before me ..
Happy Birthday Daddy
Love Always & Forever
Punkin’
Want to Feel Closer? How You Respond To Common Conversational Cues Can Make All The Difference
— Read on www.heartsintrueharmony.com/relationship-bliss/phrases-that-kill-intimacy.html
I felt I had no choice but to isolate .
Our children were exampled the methods of
a detached abuser , who never involved himself
in partnership , and fathered like a friend/brother
rather than a Dad . That was abusive during our
1st due to the surprise ” gift” he wasn’t responding
to as such, moreover obsessed with the change
in finances .. home was not somewhere he liked
to hang out, but was my haven, my peace , my
solace. Quoted as saying he warned a son before
choosing marriage , of not finding himself having
to marry ..Baby was 1 year , 7 days after I do.
He was responsible for birth control , and sadly
the pattern for non responsibility has been life
long as in horror I learned of all of the outs he
had experienced from infancy on …it’s a very
long list .
I find him the most self isolated , unreachable
soul I never knew ..His heart is so isolated from
all that life teaches , as I suspected there are
many fragmented parts of narcissistic behavior
and it can be relieved by personal choice and intent .
Our sons and grandchildren are not enough to be
incentive , and that still shocks me .
parentalalienation-pas.com/2019/01/05/isolation-to-facilitate-abuse/
This is beautiful, I had no one, and I erred ..took
much longer than it should have
Psychiatrists don’t know how to wean people off SSRIs — so patients are helping each other do it themselves.
— Read on sg.news.yahoo.com/recovery-antidepressants-patients-helping-withdraw-130646526.html
I never knew this, from tracing to Germany with no discussion,
I lived with the rigidly of a partner who was critical of my every
move or non move. Asking for help when it is clearly needed ,
was part and parcel of ” marriage ” to an under developed
emotionally stuck man child . I realized he wasn’t meeting
in the middle. He worked outside the home and that’s all he
had to do. Taking a road job he was away 3 days a week,
in order to dodge responsibility ..
Sadly , many adult men were ” sheltered ” in the model of
trauma bond with mom, ” matured ” socially , but from
birth has had less emotionally grounding /bonding with
Mom, and need and deserve it ..The interactions of parents
can very will imprint the male child with fear of emotions
watching Mom treated like a servant..
Gifts were seldom a surprise , request circumvented his either
ignoring the event , or a gift that had no rhythm or rhyme .
Adult men seldom transform this naturally, many
beaten into submission by a spouse who threatens
using kids as leverage .. a huge mistake , for
seldom does a man romance or honor a woman
wife who ” mothers ” him.. the nurture of each
should be the bridge ..
The unpaid job men still don’t understand.
— Read on www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a12063822/emotional-labor-gender-equality/
Emotional pain you experience in the present can be used as a bridge to help you identify and then heal past traumas that are holding you back. In complex trauma the link between the emotional dysregulation you experience in the present and the unresolved traumas of the past is not conscious. Unlike in shock trauma…
— Read on abuse-recovery.com/2019/01/01/emotional-pain-as-a-bridge-to-heal-past-trauma/
I use , and highly recommend. My sleep is better , calmer
Balanced .
Let us all unite!
— Read on thespiritscience.net/
I wear a necklace and have small small pyramids to protect
and heal a room in my place of trauma of a child , who
lived here before me. It’s very hard for me to work in
that space ..clearing and balance as well as protection.
I get lots of positive responses to my Orgonite necklace
which is gold tone on one side ..blue lapis on the flip side.
What is Orgonite? – Orgonise Yourself – Crystal Healing Orgone
— Read on orgoniseyourself.com/how-orgonite-heals/
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 