Tag: death

Last Breath

When you take your last breath and your heart beats no more. It will not matter anymore the problems you had in this life, your pain and your sadness will have no more meaning. What you have gained outside of yourself that you value will mean nothing to you, and what you have gained within you will mean everything as you now take your place in the Spirit world. The future to the Lakota ancestors was not about obtaining riches or power but it was to prepare ourselves in this short life to enter into the next world. For the truest reward you could give yourself is to acheive a closer relationship with Wakan Tanka within you and this you will truly take with you when you pass. For the closer you become to the divine source the better your spirit will experience in the next world, for what was most important and valued by the Ancestors was only what you could take with you from this short life and what you could not take had much less importance. Leaving your children with a more close and loving relationship with Wakan Tanka and Unci Maka is a much better gift than leaving them with money and physical possessions.

Dad takes his life due to legal and grief over his kids

CW-Suicide

This is the final photograph of Phillip Herron 34, crying in his car, literally minutes before he took his own life.

He was a single Dad of three young children, struggling with escalating debt of over $20,000 and was desperately waiting for a Payday lending payment he’d applied for. But it’s paid in arrears, with a 5 week wait time. That wait drove him even deeper into debt, and when he died he had $4.61 in his bank account and clearly couldn’t see any other way out.

Like a lot of people, especially men, he kept all of this to himself, nobody else knew how bad things were getting. The poor man even had to tell his children that Father Xmas wouldn’t come this year, and in his suicide note he wrote that they’d be better off if he wasn’t there any more.

And now he isn’t.

We need to talk more. We need to be kinder. And we need to be a country that helps people when they need it the most.

Boys learn to isolate or anger as toddlers . It’s too feminine to allow emotions , tears ???

Be a Big Boy 👦

My Little Man 👨

He’s a child and worthy of expression of his feelings in a way that is not anger or rage but expressed in communication that is received compassionately and doesn’t project or target the other person .

Children deserve truth per maturation/age etc because they do get curious and asking around in peer’s can mislead or pressure an opinion .

Boys can be harsh and very physically intimating on impressionable younger boys and so they deserve to have a foundation that allows them participating in open , factual discussions per age and readiness .

Too late I realized that younger kids who hung out with our sons but had over 5 years life experience ; had much trauma at a young age sexually and other ways . This did not become fact to me until later in life as did the competition as I had our 1st child . I did not pick up on jealously and that would extend to lust for what I had in partnership . It was very unbalanced and I have had moments of clarity about the negative influences early on towards our 3 children .

I have grieved deeply about this and baby sitters and relatives that had our children when we were not there to witness and protect them .

This Dad could not take anymore . I’m not suicidal and I’ve had decades to surrender to the horrific cost of distorted alienating that is a living death when one has no contact with one’s children as punishment that continues Domestic Abuse/ Malignant/ High Conflict / Intimate Partner Violence that is non gender specific and is Child Abuse

Moment of Death : Do Nothing

When someone dies, the first thing to do is nothing. Don’t run out and call the nurse. Don’t pick up the phone. Take a deep breath and be present to the magnitude of the moment.

There’s a grace to being at the bedside of someone you love as they make their transition out of this world. At the moment they take their last breath, there’s an incredible sacredness in the space. The veil between the worlds opens.

We’re so unprepared and untrained in how to deal with death that sometimes a kind of panic response kicks in. “They’re dead!”

We knew they were going to die, so their being dead is not a surprise. It’s not a problem to be solved. It’s very sad, but it’s not cause to panic.

If anything, their death is cause to take a deep breath, to stop, and be really present to what’s happening. If you’re at home, maybe put on the kettle and make a cup of tea.

Sit at the bedside and just be present to the experience in the room. What’s happening for you? What might be happening for them? What other presences are here that might be supporting them on their way? Tune into all the beauty and magic.

Pausing gives your soul a chance to adjust, because no matter how prepared we are, a death is still a shock. If we kick right into “do” mode, and call 911, or call the hospice, we never get a chance to absorb the enormity of the event.

Give yourself five minutes or 10 minutes, or 15 minutes just to be. You’ll never get that time back again if you don’t take it now.

After that, do the smallest thing you can. Call the one person who needs to be called. Engage whatever systems need to be engaged, but engage them at the very most minimal level. Move really, really, really, slowly, because this is a period where it’s easy for body and soul to get separated.

Our bodies can gallop forwards, but sometimes our souls haven’t caught up. If you have an opportunity to be quiet and be present, take it. Accept and acclimatize and adjust to what’s happening. Then, as the train starts rolling, and all the things that happen after a death kick in, you’ll be better prepared.

You won’t get a chance to catch your breath later on. You need to do it now.

Being present in the moments after death is an incredible gift to yourself, it’s a gift to the people you’re with, and it’s a gift to the person who’s just died. They’re just a hair’s breath away. They’re just starting their new journey in the world without a body. If you keep a calm space around their body, and in the room, they’re launched in a more beautiful way. It’s a service to both sides of the veil.

Sarah Kerr, Death Doula

Lyme Info

I have failed 2 test for Lyme

A former friend tried to say

I had it , perhaps he wished

it so.

I do feel that there are

overlapping symptoms

few doctors are knowledgeable

I have been celibate by choice

for 12 years and have no

regrets if this is fact , about

sexual transmission .

I pray for an end to these

diseases that I feel are

engineered for profit and

economic growth for an

industry of medicine .

I’m into preventative , natural

alternatives , due to that harm

done by modern medicine

that omits mind, body & spirit .

Saying Good Bye to a Parent

When you say goodbye to a parent.

You are suddenly living in a whole new world.

You are no longer ‘the child’ and regardless of how long you have officially been ‘grown up’ for, you realise you actually never were until this moment. The shock of this adjustment will shake your very core.

When you have finally said goodbye to both your parents, assuming you were lucky enough to have had two. You are an orphan on this earth and that never, ever gets easier to take no matter how old and grey you are yourself and no matter how many children of your own you have.

You see, a part of your body is physically connected to the people that made it and also a part of your soul. When they no longer live, it is as if you are missing something practical that you need – like a finger or an arm. Because really, you are. You are missing your parent and that is something far more necessary than any limb.

And yet the connection is so strong it carries on somehow, no-one knows how exactly. But they are there. In some way, shape or form they are still guiding you if you listen closely enough. You can hear the words they would choose to say to you.

You can feel the warmth of their approval, their smile when a goal is achieved, their all-consuming love filling the air around you when a baby is born they haven’t met.

If you watch your children very closely you will see that they too have a connection with your parents long after they are gone. They will say things that resonate with you because it brings so many memories of the parent you are missing. They will carry on traits, thoughts and sometimes they will even see them in their dreams.

This is not something we can explain.

Love is a very mystical and wondrous entity.

It is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all and grief, grief is the price of that love. The deeper the love the stronger the grief.

When you say goodbye to a parent, do not forget to connect with that little girl who still lives inside you somewhere.

Take very good care of her, for she, she will be alone and scared.

When you say goodbye to your parents, you lose an identity, a place in the world. When the people who put you on this earth are no longer here, it changes everything.

Look after yourself the way they looked after you and listen out for them when you need it the most.

They never really leave.

Donna Ashworth

From ‘to the women’: https://tinyurl.com/ye9f93zd

#fathersday #griefpoetry

Mom asking about her child’s suicide

Is it the fluoride in fluoxetine that causes the brain to “misfire”?
Has pharma removed all ‘negative for them’ articles from the internet?
Most people I know call antidepressants medicine. Is there anything medicinal within antidepressants?
Why do a lot of people say antidepressants help them? And they don’t want me telling people they’re dangerous because they don’t want people to think they’re basically sinning if they do take an antidepressant, or that they haven’t prayed enough to feel better. And that some people Need a pill to chemically balance themselves. Are millions of people chemically imbalanced and need correction?
A friends son had a brain injury and they put him on one to balance his chemicals. He seems ok but I can’t ask them about it. Is it working for someone like that?
Is marijuana a safe alternative to antidepressants?
A psychiatrist told me that my son’s pot, and occasional other over the counter drug use (he was a junior in high school and partied on the weekends) (I didn’t know a lot of what he was doing at the time) cancelled out the effect of the antidepressant he was taking. So, the antidepressant had no effect on his suicide.
Is this true?
Our son was missing doses and the doctor said just get him back on it and take it for six more weeks until the end of school then he can quit. No instructions to wean off, just to quit. But, he died 4 weeks later, by suicide. He had continued to miss doses, so at the end, he was off and on, missing a day here and there. I believe this is what caused his suicidal thoughts. He kept moving from room to room his last day and was upset over the fight he was having with his girlfriend. He hadn’t slept most of the night. I didn’t know until we read his phone after he died that he cried all night too. I know he was stuck on the girlfriend problem and he tried to play video games but he couldn’t focus. Our daughter was 6 at the time and later said he told her his heart was racing. People always say a person commits suicide because of the emotion problem but I call his a symptom of what the pill did to him and the relationship problem just triggered the suicide. Can what he was experiencing be considered akathesia?
Have ‘they’ improved antidepressants from years ago, like so many believe?
I don’t know why I care to know all this now. I guess I just can’t quit talking about it. I don’t know why I talk about it with people, half or more just get mad because they believe in them. I guess I just want the truth and to tell the truth. In my mind, I believe pharma, with even one lie,
are not benevolent, to say the least. I believe they are evil. I don’t know why I bother and take so much of my own time trying to put together evidence against the antidepressants. Maybe because we were going to take it to court but the lawyer friend we were talking to said it wasn’t his specialty or anyone he worked with. Later found out he owned a walk in clinic. Probably didn’t have anything to do with it but?? My husband didn’t want to sue anyway because we didn’t want to make money off our son’s death.. I guess I’m just mad and I guess I’ll never let it go but maybe I’ll run out of steam about it and drop it. I do want to write about it for my blog but haven’t said much yet..
I know no parent out of so many I can’t count, that cares about this, even though I know a lot of their kids were taking an antidepressant at the time of their suicide.
The whole time I was growing up through the ‘70s & ‘80s, I remember of one suicide. I just believe it was because the dispensing of antidepressants weren’t as prevalent as later years?.?.