Over A Decade of Being Over Him

Never saw him as the package that included our sons .

Business of old , irregular , illegal is finally going to be resolved .

Surprised at the hold out ? Not I, I heard complaints over a $2 bank charge for him to automatically deposit my Spousal Support .. Of course he was relived of that , though judgements brought up his many car payments etc

Mentioned that he was to be responsible , however that varied ..the energy shifted and outcomes varied until the last hearing .

My words , he will never have enough of my money . It’s endless. I do not wish to question him due to his lying .

Initiate Partner Violence

Malignant

High Conflict

Very few lawyers know this , and it’s not merely Domestic Violence when a marriage is obtained when the other is targeted as the abuser .

It has delayed the liberation of our 3 children and their children until recent events , allow that his WAR is HIS and I release him to that eternal war within .

Clearing this took so much effort and resistance, but upon my ancestors revelations and history I learned I had the honor of clearing this , and added to my vow to create a safe world for Harper Ann who will never have the abusive experiences of her ancestors.

Of course that applies to 5 grandsons too

His kids

There’s lots to heal and I know that’s imposing but the rising out of that trauma has a universal theme ..a drum beat and one just need surrender to their highest power and ask to be gentle in the release ..knowing I was ready to leap forward and end the never ending narrative of an abuser who is a victim and owns his power in money and has spent plenty to thwart my truths .

My healing has been tested these past 7 months intensely but my faith remains .

I am grateful 🙏 🥲

Love % Blessings

Dona Luna ✌ ✌ ✌

Over it, long ago; the legacy of NPD , the Never Ending Pain

You can do all the research in the world to understand the inner workings of the narcissist’s mind, but it will do nothing to influence the outcome of the relationship.⁠

Narcissists don’t think like most people. You can try to appeal to their seemingly ‘hurt’ inner child, be the most devoted partner or family member, and do everything they ask of you, but it will not change a thing.⁠

Ever.⁠

Narcissists are not interested in stable, loving, reciprocal connections. The idea of meeting your emotional needs repulses them to the core. The only positive leanings they have about your love and devotion are that they can use your sentimental feelings against you for their own benefit.⁠

Here’s one thing I know to be absolutely true – when it comes to narcissists, we all want to believe we’ll be the exception to the rule, but none of us ever are.⁠

There simply is not a way to “make things work” with a narcissist that doesn’t involve erasing your own identity, emotions, and needs.⁠

You cannot set boundaries with them (none that they’ll honor, anyway)⁠

You can’t reason with them.⁠

You can’t get them to stop lying, cheating, betraying, etc.⁠

You cannot have a loving, reciprocal, healthy relationship if you’re the only one interested in having it.⁠

And this is the last thing on the narcissist’s mind, even if they try to convince you otherwise. Pay attention to patterns, because patterns never lie.⁠

Don’t forget to claim your free healing roadmap. It’s been downloaded tens of thousands of times and has helped people across the globe to begin their recovery in gentle and encouraging ways:

selfhealers #toxicrelationshipcheck #doesntworklikethat ⁠

( #📷 @kim.saeed )

Childress : NPD Pathology & Delusions

Narcissistic Pathology & Delusions

The narcissistic personality collapses into persecutory delusions under stress – like the stress created by their public rejection during and surrounding divorce.

This is a known fact about narcissistic personality pathology, that it collapses into persecutory and paranoid delusions under stress.

Theodore Millon is considered among the top experts in personality disorder pathology. He is author of the Millon Clinical Multi-Axial Inventory (MCMI), considered the gold standard assessment instrument of personality disorder pathology.

Theodore Millon wrote the book on personality pathology. Look at the title of the book. Then listen to what he says about narcissistic personality pathology.

Millon. T. (2011). Disorders of personality: Introducing a DSM/ICD spectrum from normal to abnormal. Hoboken: Wiley.

From Millon: “Under conditions of unrelieved adversity and failure, narcissists may decompensate into paranoid disorders. Owing to their excessive use of fantasy mechanisms, they are disposed to misinterpret events and to construct delusional beliefs. Unwilling to accept constraints on their independence and unable to accept the viewpoints of others, narcissists may isolate themselves from the corrective effects of shared thinking. Alone, they may ruminate and weave their beliefs into a network of fanciful and totally invalid suspicions.” (Millon, 2011, pp. 407-408).

From Millon: “Among narcissists, delusions often take form after a serious challenge or setback has upset their image of superiority and omnipotence. They tend to exhibit compensatory grandiosity and jealousy delusions in which they reconstruct reality to match the image they are unable or unwilling to give up. Delusional systems may also develop as a result of having felt betrayed and humiliated. Here we may see the rapid unfolding of persecutory delusions and an arrogant grandiosity characterized by verbal attacks and bombast.” (Millon, 2011, pp. 407-408).

It is a known fact of the pathology that the narcissistic personality will collapse into persecutory delusions under stress.

The rejection inherent to divorce will present the narcissistic parent with conditions of unrelieved adversity and failure. The narcissistic parent will decompensate into persecutory delusions.

We know this. This is an established fact about narcissistic personality pathology

Shared (induced) Delusional Disorder

The pathology of a shared delusional disorder is also called an induced delusional disorder.

Wehmeier Barth, & Remschmidt (2003). Induced Delusional Disorder. Psychopathology,

37-45.
https://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/69657

From Wehmeier Barth, & Remschmidt: “Induced delusional disorder (or shared paranoid disorder), also known as folie à deux, is a fairly uncommon disturbance characterized by the presence of similar psychotic symptoms in two or more individuals. Most often the symptoms are delusional. Usually the ‘primary’ case, i.e. the individual who first develops psychotic symptoms, can be distinguished from one or more ‘secondary’ cases, in whom the symptoms are induced.”

From the American Psychiatric Association: “Usually the primary case in Shared Psychotic Disorder is dominant in the relationship and gradually imposes the delusional system on the more passive and initially healthy second person… Although most commonly seen in relationships of only two people, Shared Psychotic Disorder can occur in larger number of individuals, especially in family situations in which the parent is the primary case and the children, sometimes to varying degrees, adopt the parent’s delusional beliefs.” (American Psychiatric Association, 2000, p. 333)

Shared (induced) Delusions in Family Courts

The journal Family Court Review is the flagship journal of the AFCC.

From Walters & Friedlander: “In some RRD families [resist-refuse dynamic], a parent’s underlying encapsulated delusion about the other parent is at the root of the intractability (cf. Johnston & Campbell, 1988, p. 53ff; Childress, 2013). An encapsulated delusion is a fixed, circumscribed belief that persists over time and is not altered by evidence of the inaccuracy of the belief.” (Walters & Friedlander, 2016, p. 426)

From Walters & Friedlander: “When alienation is the predominant factor in the RRD [resist-refuse dynamic}, the theme of the favored parent’s fixed delusion often is that the rejected parent is sexually, physically, and/or emotionally abusing the child. The child may come to share the parent’s encapsulated delusion and to regard the beliefs as his/her own (cf. Childress, 2013).” (Walters & Friedlander, 2016, p. 426)

Walters, M. G., & Friedlander, S. (2016). When a child rejects a parent: Working with the intractable resist/refuse dynamic. Family Court Review, 54(3), 424–445.

Diagnosis Guides Treatment

In healthcare, all of healthcare, including all of mental health care, diagnosis guides treatment. The treatment for cancer is different than the treatment for diabetes.

Is there a shared (induced) persecutory delusion created by the pathogenic parenting of the allied parent? Creating delusional thought disorder pathology in the child that then destroys their attachment bond to the other parent is a DSM-5 diagnosis of V-995.51 Child Psychological Abuse.

Diagnosis guides treatment. Is the DSM-5 diagnosis V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse? Was a proper risk assessment for possible Child Psychological Abuse conducted?

Apply knowledge to solve pathology, ignorance solves nothing.

2.04 Bases for Scientific and Professional Judgments
Psychologists’ work is based upon established scientific and professional knowledge of the discipline.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

https://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/69657

2nd Month Tested and ” Holding “

A very harsh lesson , still on going as I enter a 2nd month of no income except social security.

Indeed the wheeling and dealing was deeply embedded in shadow with intentions of divesting me completely, financially and intentions geared to digress me mentally, physically, financially and spiritually .

With holidaze and weather, further delaying forward movement , I can assure you all thats possible is being done .

Posing as a professional, the facts deny anything professional and though this energy is dank , I have 4 decades of experience and 20 plus pulling in pieces of the puzzle that are my present reality..Different entity..Same MO..

Finally at rest , with half a tank of gas , $10 cash and Thankful for food , I wait patiently for resolution.

Partnership that wasn’t…says much about the other who dwells in distorted energy .

Maintaining my balance as much as possible, grateful I’m present instead of medicated into submission as I was in past partnership of marriage so that business arrangements could be made to benefit the other .

Sensing the varied reasons for this current situation, I will not demure but will continue with my every effort to accomplish my goal of a home . Noting how much effort has been made to thwart my progress , the facts are present and I’m not concerned about the outcome for the other . Abusing my safety, my trust , my health and finances assures justice as Thy Will Be Done .

Snow is yet another challenge with more predicted in a few days . I refuse to live in fear or anger . Noting the severity of my situation of which I cannot detail at this time for legal reasons, I am aware of the opprotunity offered and denied , that have boomerangs , and no I cannot worry about the other’s side effects , for knowing , for enjoying my every trial if not support them in hopes I expire and their abuse kept secret .

Betrayal in Distorted energy is still abuse 💔especially when confidences have been shared and vulnerability exploited for greed and power .

Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna

A narcissist will use your wounds against you. And that’s it! They use the insecure or unhealed inner parts of you like bullets in their gun to fire at you.

A narcissist knows this. They’ve been practising this from a very, very early age.

And they know how to hit that person with those things to trigger them and get them to hand their power over.

As soon as you’re triggered, you’re pulled out of your powerful, innate self, your centre, and you regress back into childhood or past life traumas. Meaning those parts of you have now been activated, and they’ve come to the fore and feel powerless to protect you.

When you’re triggered into survival programs, you suffer from adrenaline and cortisol that activate the fight, fight, flee or freeze response. And this is where you have brain fog. You can’t think, you can’t get to solutions. You don’t know what to say.

The reason for that is everything shuts down. You’re back in your amygdala, which is triggering you into survival programs. You don’t have access to the cognitive solution, power, wisdom, or the logic to detach and know what to do. You just don’t have access.

It’s so important to understand what’s literally physiologically chemically going on within you so that you can accept that this is what happens. And when you look back through the times when you get triggered by a narcissist, if you’re honest with yourself, you know that’s what happens.

And you know that in those times, it’s like watching yourself by remote, and you can’t stop yourself reacting in a way that you know is not helping you, but it’s like, you feel powerless. You’re hijacked by it. That’s what’s going on.

For more on this, please take a look at these blogs –

The Answer To Narcissistic Abuse That No-one Is Talking About – Peptide Addiction – https://bit.ly/2Q4pGQ8

How Narcissists Draw You In By Identifying Your Gaps – https://bit.ly/3eb0CiC

Join me in the next free Healing Webinar, where I will explain how to seal your gaps and take your power back. You get to experience two healings that will start the Quantum Way to heal from abuse – https://bit.ly/3dn4w8S. You will be sent a replay link after the event has finished.

Much love xo ❤️

Reclaiming the Sovereignty of Motherhood

Clearly , I was a married , single mother , who was disposable.

Shame on anyone in such a distortion, negating the bond of mother and child to infinity to hide truths worthy of exposure and healing ; be it force or choice .

“Maintaining sovereignty as a mother seems to be an impossible task for many women in capitalist patriarchal societies. I saw a quote on Facebook recently from Mamá Kaur that said, “It’s not motherhood that’s exhausting. What’s exhausting is to nurture in a world that doesn’t care for and support its mothers.” That rang true for me.

When I was a single mother especially, the last thing I felt was sovereign. As I wrote in Single Mothers Speak on Patriarchy, “It’s hard to feel like a Goddess when you’re worried sick about how you are going to feed your kids. You can do all the affirmations and self-help work you want, but it is a rare woman who feels empowered living in poverty.”

https://www.magoism.net/2021/12/book-excerpt-8-on-the-wings-of-isis-reclaiming-the-sovereignty-of-auset-ed-by-trista-hendren-et-al/

Geivence Against Psychiatric Abuse

State Legislators: they represent you.

There are multiple lines all moving forward simultaneously – one of them is the legislative line with your state legislators – they represent you.

You have a grievance… with the licensing board’s failure to act to discipline incompetent and unethical malpractice by forensic psychologists.

This is child abuse. The courts and mental health professionals need greater guidance from the legislative branch regarding their obligations to protect children from child abuse. That means amending the child abuse reporting laws to more clearly define all forms of child abuse – including Child Psychological Abuse, DSM-5 V995.51 – and the obligations to protect the child.

Previous legislation was introduced in Florida to do this. There are forces that don’t want change… then there was the Trump era that sucked all the oxygen from the political room – then there was Covid that sucked all the oxygen from the political room.

We are starting to get our oxygen back within state legislatures and their interest in the injustice and child abuse occurring in the family courts.

The state licensing boards will be increasingly exposed for their cover-up of the unethical malpractice in forensic psychology. Parents only have two options when the licensing boards don’t protect the consumer and instead protect the ignorant, incompetent, and unethical forensic psychologist from accountability for their unethical malpractice.

1) Malpractice lawsuits filed in the courts.

2) Complaints to state representatives for legislative review of licensing boards and the corruption and exploitation within forensic psychology and the family courts.

A parent is in contact with their state legislator’s office regarding their matter. An aide was assigned. The parent, the aide, and I met in my doxy.me/drchildress office for background.

There was no opportunity to intervene on the individual matter, but the representative’s office requested more information about any prior legislation that has been helpful. That’s the way of things – we fight for each other – we move things forward step-by-step, no step is lost when we move together.

I sent this parent the following resources to provide to their state representative’s office:

The Florida proposed changes to the child abuse reporting laws that provide greater clarity to the courts and mental health professionals regarding child psychological abuse (DSM-5 V995.51) would be extremely helpful. The courts and mental health professionals need greater guidance and clarity from the legislative branch regarding the obligations surrounding child abuse.

Florida House Legislation Proposed: SB1342 Child Psychological Abuse (Torres) https://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/Bills/billsdetail.aspx?BillId=58975

Florida Senate Legislation Proposed: HB1279 Child Psychological Abuse (Antone) https://www.myfloridahouse.gov/Sections/Bills/billsdetail.aspx?BillId=59358

In addition. Kentucky passed a rebuttable presumption of equal shared parenting legislation in 2018, and these laws too for a rebuttable presumption of equal shared parenting are also very helpful to calming court-involved custody conflicts.

Kentucky Equal Shared Parenting Law
https://www.kentuckylawjournal.org/blog/index.php/2019/02/19/kentuckys-new-presumption-for-joint-custody-and-equal-parenting-time#_edn2

US News: Equal Shared Parenting
https://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/articles/2019-09-18/report-states-lack-laws-to-support-equal-shared-parenting

Forbes: Equal Shared Parenting
https://www.forbes.com/sites/tamiforman/2021/02/09/study-finds-that-equal-custody-arrangements-narrows-the-gender-pay-gap/?sh=67fc9c785611

I also have a presentation to the Pennsylvania House Children and Youth Committee on the situation in the family courts.

Pennsylvania Legislature: Dr. Childress Testimony
https://www.forbes.com/sites/tamiforman/2021/02/09/study-finds-that-equal-custody-arrangements-narrows-the-gender-pay-gap/?sh=67fc9c785611

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Childress offers response to questions

Prepare your questions for Dr. Childress.

On this New Year, I will be providing an email address here and I’ll ask for your questions. Any question. From anyone.

I’m attending to parents, but attorneys and mental health professionals can ask questions too. Now-adult kids recovering. Anyone. Any question.

There’s no such thing as a dumb question. Well, actually, that’s not true, but that’s okay, ask it anyway. Any question.

Except what’s my favorite color, no trick questions to get me confused.

In January, I’ll ask you to send me your questions to the email address I provide. In February, I’ll start answering your questions on YouTube. All your questions. Even the stupid questions. My favorite color is blue, no wait… red… now look what you’ve done, I’m all confused.

Why not?

You have questions. That likely means more people just like you have the same question. I could answer your questions over-and-over each time one-by-one… or all together on YouTube – whee, don’t you love the Internet. I do. Best thing since fire.

So prepare your questions for Dr. Childress. I don’t need your stories. You think I need your stories to understand your questions, I don’t. I could tell you your stories. I want your questions – I can tell exactly your story by your question – each story has its questions.

I’ll won’t read your stories, I know your stories. I’ll read the sentences that end with this ? thing.

That sentence, the one that ends with that ? thing, is called a question. That’s what I’ll read and answer.

I’ll group your questions sort of, and I’ll start posting YouTube videos in February answering your questions, in 10-15 minute segments until there are no more questions – and a lot of answers on YouTube for everyone now and into the future.

Don’t ‘cha love the Internet. I do. Best thing since fire. Internet gud, and oh my goodness, no one knows your a dog. What’s your question for Dr. Childress? January 2022.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

My belief was chipped away until 2008..”friendship never was :WAR Within

Too many beautiful, loving folks believe they and the narcissist are soul mates or twin flames. They believe the narcissist is simply fulfilling the “runner” dynamic and will ‘come to their senses’ and return to the relationship sooner or later.⁣⁠
⁣⁠
And they will wait YEARS for this to happen, enduring untold, horrific abuse.⁣⁠
⁣⁠
Please understand that a soul mate will not betray you, stab you in the back, tell you pathological lies, or make it their duty to cause you to feel unworthy of their love. Only sadistic manipulators do that.⁣⁠
⁣⁠
Many writers and content creators are romanticizing emotional abuse and calling it ‘spiritual lessons’ and ‘evolution’.⁣⁠
⁣⁠
This is one of the worst forms of gaslighting.⁣⁠
⁣⁠
The truth is, staying in a relationship with an individual who emotionally abuses you and repeatedly breaks their promises can cause crippling levels of chronic depression due to repeated emotional traumas, the nature of which is made worse by the limiting beliefs we form in response to the narcissist’s degrading verbal assaults.⁣⁠
⁣⁠
Even more alarming, repeated emotional injuries shrink the brain’s hippocampus, which is responsible for memory and learning, while enlarging the amygdala, which houses primitive emotions such as fear, grief, guilt, envy, and shame.⁣⁠

In short, you habitually become hijacked by your freeze response, unable to form rational thoughts or reactions. Over time, this becomes your baseline state of being. It’s a cycle of emotional destruction of the most grievous kind.⁣⁠
⁣⁠
⁣⁠I cannot recommend enough to stop romanticizing abuse and stop self-abandoning.

The Modules of THRIVE are dedicated to helping you evolve into a healed version of yourself so you can say “NO” to continued abuse.

And you will be restored in more incredible ways than you ever believed possible.

Learn more about THRIVE here: https://bit.ly/331a4j7

Much love xo

Kim

Children who Reject a Parent

“Sometimes the pain of being rejected by our own adult children and being rendered completely invisible to our grandchildren cuts so deep that we loose sight of the fact that what our estranged/alienated adult children are truly rejecting is parts of themselves and their own children.
That’s the part of all this emotional cut-off / no-contact madness that is the most tragic. We’ve got a whole lot of adult sized humans running around pretending as if their own parents don’t exist, and, a whole many more adult humans trudging through life as if they have been buried alive. Then as a result we’ve got all these young humans being raised by parents who have come to believe the illusion that if they just emotionally cut-off and ignore the existence of their children’s grandparents they will somehow succeed in “parenting” the grandparents out of those children.” ~Anue Nue
“if you show someone the sun in your bones and they reject you you must remember. they hurt themselves this very same way. – unable” ― Nayyirah Waheed, Salt