Never saw him as the package that included our sons .
Business of old , irregular , illegal is finally going to be resolved .
Surprised at the hold out ? Not I, I heard complaints over a $2 bank charge for him to automatically deposit my Spousal Support .. Of course he was relived of that , though judgements brought up his many car payments etc
Mentioned that he was to be responsible , however that varied ..the energy shifted and outcomes varied until the last hearing .
My words , he will never have enough of my money . It’s endless. I do not wish to question him due to his lying .
Initiate Partner Violence
Very few lawyers know this , and it’s not merely Domestic Violence when a marriage is obtained when the other is targeted as the abuser .
It has delayed the liberation of our 3 children and their children until recent events , allow that his WAR is HIS and I release him to that eternal war within .
Clearing this took so much effort and resistance, but upon my ancestors revelations and history I learned I had the honor of clearing this , and added to my vow to create a safe world for Harper Ann who will never have the abusive experiences of her ancestors.
Of course that applies to 5 grandsons too
There’s lots to heal and I know that’s imposing but the rising out of that trauma has a universal theme ..a drum beat and one just need surrender to their highest power and ask to be gentle in the release ..knowing I was ready to leap forward and end the never ending narrative of an abuser who is a victim and owns his power in money and has spent plenty to thwart my truths .
My healing has been tested these past 7 months intensely but my faith remains .
I am grateful 🙏 🥲
Love % Blessings
Dona Luna ✌ ✌ ✌
Every state in the country has a child support enforcement agency. No where in the country will you find a visitation enforcement agency! The reason? For Every dollar the court collects in child support arrears they get a dollar. So for the 25,000 that I was in arrears for, that I paid, the court got 25,000! The court didn’t get any money when I visited my daughter. Family law needs to be abolished!
2 moved from hometown , leaving the shame of a ” crazy” Mom and a Dad that was exposing his love in expressions of himself , traveling , dinning , buying expensive cars , moving to a part of town I had refused due to schools and crime .
The absolute delight derived in dividing , and conquering in a non stop competition, ongoing after 2 plus decades .
Of course as a target , and former ” mental patient ” , anything I said or did was seen as character ..Not Trauma , Not Abuse , Not addictive and toxic RX ..
The foundation of shaky ground denying a balanced partnership included the constant triangle or 3rd person , beginning with the matriarchal as his choice for happy as he walked away , was a gal in such distortion that her vicious behavior and words confirmed her mental health issues. Mirrors of each other , united in my total and complete destruction.
Coming to was a hoilicost of recall and clarity , reading the divorce contract was a complete and utter farce , allowing him control of my finances.
The post nuptials I have no idea of , the charges I placed expunged to ” no fault ” , our lawyers had been partners ( no conflict according to the Bar ; plenty of conflict if I searched for representation .
After 3 lawyers and judicial renderings that supported the abuses , with the bonus of shame that I show up without council .
Depleting my income, ignoring my need to address the side effects physically , of trauma , abuse and neglect our last 5 years , of course I’m responsible .
Legally responsible for my own health care .
Responsible for my own legal fees .
Huge blow back from discoveries, especially financial that address the responsibility of the party/ partner who committed fraud , even legal.
I had 30 days in 2001, to read and comprehend the divorce contract . I was a medicated mental patient , which never has been allowed in civil court .
However , our last court , was made aware of the high conflict , malignant relationship he insist on maintaining .
I was asked if I wished to question him.
Unfortunately he is separated from the truth . There’s no point in asking questions; he lies .
The court was informed that I do experience Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Far from a mental illness , awareness is lacking in legal / law enforcement, and has unfortunately destroyed the lives of many children, leveraged in retribution that has no end .
I am clear on what’s going on .
I did not agree to be the dumping ground for his unhealed trauma or a cover so his life looked normal .
Over 20 years of his being the victim that survived and thrived of whom I still want vengeance ever more .
A very recent experience pertaining to business , has revealed much ,that demands closure , a cutting of cords .
Sadly I realize and accept our 3 sons are still in energy of hatred and I’m their monster in their closet , lacking in everything, especially money .
Which is the point of his vengeance… I should never be allowed the freedoms , deserved with salary, home , health care or a relationship because he looses …as his target , he feeds on my challenges , without me he must find another supply .
Ignoring all the nudges from Divine , he in fact digresses.
Fact to face , 2 weeks ago , I had to agree to meet for a cash gift .
As we drove to meet him , I grew concerned that he carried a gun .
My reality is never knowing what he might do . Not enough for a protective order ..
Though his intentions are clear .
Watching , needing to know all with secrets that include my siblings , horrific disregard for vows made, ignoring universal law or karmic justice.
No closure , no periods at the end of sentences decades old , he holds his rage and it shows in his eyes, in his body , in his words .
Trust lost long ago , no more allowances for illegal acts .
Cord Cut .
I’m Thankful , and realize this will include ” his ” children and grandchildren who choose their own path as adults , preferring to ignore me in all ways .
I have not been tempted to act or be as he expects to be allowed contact or relationships with children
He has been informed and has ignored any responsibility for the physical and emotional and mental wellness of his children.
His WAR is not mine , should not be our children’s.
Intimate Partner Violence, ongoing is my reality, and I intend to do all I can to extract myself from the bonds that bind finding no cooperation exist ; only more targeting and secrets and lies .
The triangle 🔺️👌still present , exalted elder , until death they are bonded …matriarchal secrets carried within a destination less than heavely.
Regrets ; His mask was 95% in place and I had no reason to question his presentation, until I became pregnant and a year later became a married single patent and leverage for his partner whom he shared his angst at my forcing a child on him .
The blame game was done in shadow , in secret but I knew it all around me .. with lulls that I held as ” normal” striving to balance our family , to be enough for an insatiable need, want , desire that had no boundaries and still doesn’t.
…and possibly your biological children.
I see so many beautiful souls who believe that by forgiving the narcissist and giving them another chance, they can help the narcissist feel accepted and loved. They believe they can appeal to the narcissist’s hurt inner child and that this might create a breakthrough in the relationship.
But instead of miraculous breakthroughs, lives are being destroyed. Families are broken. Loved ones suffer.
For these reasons, then, we should resist the call that we show greater sympathy for these abusive individuals, at least to the extent that by doing so we are causing greater and unnecessary harm to ourselves and other members of our family.
Why show patience with the narcissist when they are repeatedly inflicting deep wounds upon us and when they are having such harmful effects on our children and their emotional development?
While it’s true that most narcissists were wounded as children, we must realize that those children are now gone. In their place are adults with underdeveloped levels of emotional maturity, deficient attachment capabilities, and a complete inability to empathize with others.
What’s left in the place of those wounded children are scheming manipulators who don’t give a care about anyone except themselves and their own immediate needs.
Our energies are wasted on the narcissist and are better devoted elsewhere—to improving our own lives and giving our children the sort of childhood that will enable them to have healthy relationships and happy lives.
The pain that ending a relationship with a narcissistic partner will bring leads people to hope and look for some other way.
Articles that hold out promises of narcissists changing and of your improving your relationship with them are stepping in to serve that misguided need. But, the truth is: it’s dangerous to keep a narcissist in one’s life. The ripple effect from doing this is far beyond the scope of what people can generally comprehend while in the midst of abuse.
If you’d like gentle guidance on taking your power back from the narcissist, join me and other wonderful thrivers in my therapist-approved program for narcissistic abuse recovery.
You will learn real-life ways to develop new and empowering habits that heal – AND are backed by psychology and neuroscience.
For full details of this nurturing program, click here:
Your friend on the journey. xo ❤️
( #📷 @kim.saeed )
Narcissistic Pathology & Delusions
The narcissistic personality collapses into persecutory delusions under stress – like the stress created by their public rejection during and surrounding divorce.
This is a known fact about narcissistic personality pathology, that it collapses into persecutory and paranoid delusions under stress.
Theodore Millon is considered among the top experts in personality disorder pathology. He is author of the Millon Clinical Multi-Axial Inventory (MCMI), considered the gold standard assessment instrument of personality disorder pathology.
Theodore Millon wrote the book on personality pathology. Look at the title of the book. Then listen to what he says about narcissistic personality pathology.
Millon. T. (2011). Disorders of personality: Introducing a DSM/ICD spectrum from normal to abnormal. Hoboken: Wiley.
From Millon: “Under conditions of unrelieved adversity and failure, narcissists may decompensate into paranoid disorders. Owing to their excessive use of fantasy mechanisms, they are disposed to misinterpret events and to construct delusional beliefs. Unwilling to accept constraints on their independence and unable to accept the viewpoints of others, narcissists may isolate themselves from the corrective effects of shared thinking. Alone, they may ruminate and weave their beliefs into a network of fanciful and totally invalid suspicions.” (Millon, 2011, pp. 407-408).
From Millon: “Among narcissists, delusions often take form after a serious challenge or setback has upset their image of superiority and omnipotence. They tend to exhibit compensatory grandiosity and jealousy delusions in which they reconstruct reality to match the image they are unable or unwilling to give up. Delusional systems may also develop as a result of having felt betrayed and humiliated. Here we may see the rapid unfolding of persecutory delusions and an arrogant grandiosity characterized by verbal attacks and bombast.” (Millon, 2011, pp. 407-408).
It is a known fact of the pathology that the narcissistic personality will collapse into persecutory delusions under stress.
The rejection inherent to divorce will present the narcissistic parent with conditions of unrelieved adversity and failure. The narcissistic parent will decompensate into persecutory delusions.
We know this. This is an established fact about narcissistic personality pathology
Shared (induced) Delusional Disorder
The pathology of a shared delusional disorder is also called an induced delusional disorder.
Wehmeier Barth, & Remschmidt (2003). Induced Delusional Disorder. Psychopathology,
From Wehmeier Barth, & Remschmidt: “Induced delusional disorder (or shared paranoid disorder), also known as folie à deux, is a fairly uncommon disturbance characterized by the presence of similar psychotic symptoms in two or more individuals. Most often the symptoms are delusional. Usually the ‘primary’ case, i.e. the individual who first develops psychotic symptoms, can be distinguished from one or more ‘secondary’ cases, in whom the symptoms are induced.”
From the American Psychiatric Association: “Usually the primary case in Shared Psychotic Disorder is dominant in the relationship and gradually imposes the delusional system on the more passive and initially healthy second person… Although most commonly seen in relationships of only two people, Shared Psychotic Disorder can occur in larger number of individuals, especially in family situations in which the parent is the primary case and the children, sometimes to varying degrees, adopt the parent’s delusional beliefs.” (American Psychiatric Association, 2000, p. 333)
Shared (induced) Delusions in Family Courts
The journal Family Court Review is the flagship journal of the AFCC.
From Walters & Friedlander: “In some RRD families [resist-refuse dynamic], a parent’s underlying encapsulated delusion about the other parent is at the root of the intractability (cf. Johnston & Campbell, 1988, p. 53ff; Childress, 2013). An encapsulated delusion is a fixed, circumscribed belief that persists over time and is not altered by evidence of the inaccuracy of the belief.” (Walters & Friedlander, 2016, p. 426)
From Walters & Friedlander: “When alienation is the predominant factor in the RRD [resist-refuse dynamic}, the theme of the favored parent’s fixed delusion often is that the rejected parent is sexually, physically, and/or emotionally abusing the child. The child may come to share the parent’s encapsulated delusion and to regard the beliefs as his/her own (cf. Childress, 2013).” (Walters & Friedlander, 2016, p. 426)
Walters, M. G., & Friedlander, S. (2016). When a child rejects a parent: Working with the intractable resist/refuse dynamic. Family Court Review, 54(3), 424–445.
Diagnosis Guides Treatment
In healthcare, all of healthcare, including all of mental health care, diagnosis guides treatment. The treatment for cancer is different than the treatment for diabetes.
Is there a shared (induced) persecutory delusion created by the pathogenic parenting of the allied parent? Creating delusional thought disorder pathology in the child that then destroys their attachment bond to the other parent is a DSM-5 diagnosis of V-995.51 Child Psychological Abuse.
Diagnosis guides treatment. Is the DSM-5 diagnosis V995.51 Child Psychological Abuse? Was a proper risk assessment for possible Child Psychological Abuse conducted?
Apply knowledge to solve pathology, ignorance solves nothing.
2.04 Bases for Scientific and Professional Judgments
Psychologists’ work is based upon established scientific and professional knowledge of the discipline.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857
The two authors William Bernet and Demosthenes Lorandos will be interviewed tonight January 27, 2022 Forwarded information by Lena Hellblom Sjögren from Family Access – Fighting for Children´s Rights Families Divided TV Airs Tonite @ 9 PM EST! Dr. William Bernet and Dr. Demosthenes Lorandos!! Please Join Us! Family Access – Fighting for Children’s Rights https://www.familyaccessfightingforchildrensrights.com/families-divided-tv-show.htmlClick […]Parental Alienation – Science and Law
Do they care ?
Yes if it’s in their best interest to
Far too many examples of huge lack of compassion , empathy .
Bet its my fault 😀, like everything else