The Narcissistic Parent

2 moved from hometown , leaving the shame of a ” crazy” Mom and a Dad that was exposing his love in expressions of himself , traveling , dinning , buying expensive cars , moving to a part of town I had refused due to schools and crime .

The absolute delight derived in dividing , and conquering in a non stop competition, ongoing after 2 plus decades .

Of course as a target , and former ” mental patient ” , anything I said or did was seen as character ..Not Trauma , Not Abuse , Not addictive and toxic RX ..

The foundation of shaky ground denying a balanced partnership included the constant triangle or 3rd person , beginning with the matriarchal as his choice for happy as he walked away , was a gal in such distortion that her vicious behavior and words confirmed her mental health issues. Mirrors of each other , united in my total and complete destruction.

Coming to was a hoilicost of recall and clarity , reading the divorce contract was a complete and utter farce , allowing him control of my finances.

The post nuptials I have no idea of , the charges I placed expunged to ” no fault ” , our lawyers had been partners ( no conflict according to the Bar ; plenty of conflict if I searched for representation .

After 3 lawyers and judicial renderings that supported the abuses , with the bonus of shame that I show up without council .

Depleting my income, ignoring my need to address the side effects physically , of trauma , abuse and neglect our last 5 years , of course I’m responsible .

Legally responsible for my own health care .

Responsible for my own legal fees .

Huge blow back from discoveries, especially financial that address the responsibility of the party/ partner who committed fraud , even legal.

I had 30 days in 2001, to read and comprehend the divorce contract . I was a medicated mental patient , which never has been allowed in civil court .

However , our last court , was made aware of the high conflict , malignant relationship he insist on maintaining .

I was asked if I wished to question him.


Unfortunately he is separated from the truth . There’s no point in asking questions; he lies .

The court was informed that I do experience Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Far from a mental illness , awareness is lacking in legal / law enforcement, and has unfortunately destroyed the lives of many children, leveraged in retribution that has no end .

I am clear on what’s going on .

I did not agree to be the dumping ground for his unhealed trauma or a cover so his life looked normal .

Over 20 years of his being the victim that survived and thrived of whom I still want vengeance ever more .

A very recent experience pertaining to business , has revealed much ,that demands closure , a cutting of cords .

Sadly I realize and accept our 3 sons are still in energy of hatred and I’m their monster in their closet , lacking in everything, especially money .

Which is the point of his vengeance… I should never be allowed the freedoms , deserved with salary, home , health care or a relationship because he looses …as his target , he feeds on my challenges , without me he must find another supply .

Ignoring all the nudges from Divine , he in fact digresses.

Fact to face , 2 weeks ago , I had to agree to meet for a cash gift .

As we drove to meet him , I grew concerned that he carried a gun .

My reality is never knowing what he might do . Not enough for a protective order ..

Though his intentions are clear .

Watching , needing to know all with secrets that include my siblings , horrific disregard for vows made, ignoring universal law or karmic justice.

No closure , no periods at the end of sentences decades old , he holds his rage and it shows in his eyes, in his body , in his words .

Trust lost long ago , no more allowances for illegal acts .

Cord Cut .

I’m Thankful , and realize this will include ” his ” children and grandchildren who choose their own path as adults , preferring to ignore me in all ways .

I have not been tempted to act or be as he expects to be allowed contact or relationships with children

He has been informed and has ignored any responsibility for the physical and emotional and mental wellness of his children.

His WAR is not mine , should not be our children’s.

Intimate Partner Violence, ongoing is my reality, and I intend to do all I can to extract myself from the bonds that bind finding no cooperation exist ; only more targeting and secrets and lies .

The triangle 🔺️👌still present , exalted elder , until death they are bonded …matriarchal secrets carried within a destination less than heavely.

Regrets ; His mask was 95% in place and I had no reason to question his presentation, until I became pregnant and a year later became a married single patent and leverage for his partner whom he shared his angst at my forcing a child on him .

The blame game was done in shadow , in secret but I knew it all around me .. with lulls that I held as ” normal” striving to balance our family , to be enough for an insatiable need, want , desire that had no boundaries and still doesn’t.


Not Holding Space for Narcisst Distortion by Kim

It’s not our mission in life to hold space for someone’s toxic and abusive behaviors.
This doesn’t help us and it doesn’t help the toxic person.
Instead, we teach them that their seeming positive traits make up for their abuse, giving them no motivation to change.
And if you’re dealing with a narcissist, no amount of self-sacrifice will make a difference.  
Recovery includes learning–perhaps while still trying to function within the relationship–that this sort of behavior pattern likely means change is next to impossible and your efforts to maintain this disruptive relationship will likely never bear fruit for long. 
It means recognizing that, despite your repeated attempts to change yourself or the narcissist, the primary change that’s happening is the loss of your own sense of self, independence, and vitality.
In other words, you are sacrificing yourself in the relationship, not for some greater future reward, but for NOTHING.   Your efforts to maintain the relationship are effectively allowing a dysfunctional person to continue to be dysfunctional, but without suffering the natural consequences of his or her dysfunction (which would be perhaps the first step in their own healing, if it were possible).
Instead, YOU are suffering for them—enabling their continued dysfunction, even while enduring their abuse.  You’ve been acting as a buffer between your abusive partner and reality, and all the rest is just the collateral damage from your own well-meaning, but pointless, self-sacrifice.
This can be a hard pill to swallow because it effectively means giving up hope on both the relationship AND your abusive partner.  Once you’ve realized, however, that the person you thought you loved was merely a phantom conjured up by your abuser in an effort to “hook” you through your heart and manipulate you–THEN your radical acceptance of the truth about your partner puts you one step out the door.
☑️ If you’re just starting on your journey and you’re feeling discouraged, I really want to recommend the 14-day free course to you. Because this will start helping you unpack everything, giving you your life and your hope back.
Grab yours here and begin healing your life in gentle and doable ways:
Always thinking of you.  Xo

Web page : Illegal Retaliatory Evictions

Unfortunately, as the ex wife of a landlord

who has distorted everything business , financial

as well as our personal life and certainly with

regard to our 3 sons and 6 grandchildren ( that I know

of) .

His residence to change , his slow and methodical

planning of years , aided by his family whose opinion

of me , was critical from the get go because I didn’t

accept , that I had to wear a fake mask , or hold a man

on high , when he lived in distortion far too much .

Was it my imagination , that I saw higher sides in him

and held faith for his more attached and balanced

mood in consistent growth ? I have realized our family

was a business , his pride at creating 3 sons to carry

his family name 📛📛📛📛📛📛📛📛📛 had nothing to

do with me ..Secrets and untruths have been held

rotting the core of what was , with our son’s and I

and aided by many who agreed to shut me up , has

ultimately failed .

As any professional , dare retaliate in these unique times

of COVID , their boomerangs will be swift …But just in

their very acts , those wormholes are being exposed

and there are no exemptions .

Any professional business who puts folks in jeopardy

in foundational ways to retaliate , repeadly , covering

themselves , taking no responsibility , discriminations ,

failure to comply with code , forced evacuations that

are delicious with over powering abusive energy ,

enjoying the trauma for the recipient to whom

all abuse is projected .

I lived through this, survived this and I KNOW what

this is .

And I know I am called on , and called to aide others

as much as I can . *** new leases have clasuses that

stipulate that they cannot be legally held ” responsible “,

the same language ex used in his divorce , making me

responsible for legal and health , and every freaking

thing negative , as 20 years with yet another who

met him energetically , and delighted in increased

abuse , as did others who joined in family ,

savoring my son’s disposal of me , adding the death

of our son’s mom , was a complete and done deal

and they wanted nothing to do with me .

Shadow of the matriarch , who has ruled with a

vengeance, that negates a peaceful landing upon

exit from this plane of existence .

The choice is his, to liberate himself or stay as is ..

I’ve been long gone, exhumed from the grave , and

the box of Distortion , and my voice is clear and

much needed , plus Spirit is in the house .

My house , and I am , I am home And that’s magnetic

as my tribe awakens and we converge in cosmic

love and joy 💖.


Blessings & Peace

Dona Luna