It’s not our mission in life to hold space for someone’s toxic and abusive behaviors.
This doesn’t help us and it doesn’t help the toxic person.
Instead, we teach them that their seeming positive traits make up for their abuse, giving them no motivation to change.
And if you’re dealing with a narcissist, no amount of self-sacrifice will make a difference.
Recovery includes learning–perhaps while still trying to function within the relationship–that this sort of behavior pattern likely means change is next to impossible and your efforts to maintain this disruptive relationship will likely never bear fruit for long.
It means recognizing that, despite your repeated attempts to change yourself or the narcissist, the primary change that’s happening is the loss of your own sense of self, independence, and vitality.
In other words, you are sacrificing yourself in the relationship, not for some greater future reward, but for NOTHING. Your efforts to maintain the relationship are effectively allowing a dysfunctional person to continue to be dysfunctional, but without suffering the natural consequences of his or her dysfunction (which would be perhaps the first step in their own healing, if it were possible).
Instead, YOU are suffering for them—enabling their continued dysfunction, even while enduring their abuse. You’ve been acting as a buffer between your abusive partner and reality, and all the rest is just the collateral damage from your own well-meaning, but pointless, self-sacrifice.
This can be a hard pill to swallow because it effectively means giving up hope on both the relationship AND your abusive partner. Once you’ve realized, however, that the person you thought you loved was merely a phantom conjured up by your abuser in an effort to “hook” you through your heart and manipulate you–THEN your radical acceptance of the truth about your partner puts you one step out the door.
☑️ If you’re just starting on your journey and you’re feeling discouraged, I really want to recommend the 14-day free course to you. Because this will start helping you unpack everything, giving you your life and your hope back.
Grab yours here and begin healing your life in gentle and doable ways:
👉 https://bit.ly/BeginnersRoadmap
Always thinking of you. Xo
Kim
Tag: boundaries
Cutting cords , ties to Shadow deserve to be severed
You are allowed to leave relationships. You are allowed to leave a relationship with any person, mother, father, sibling, child, boss, friend or romantic partner who is manipulating and abusing you. You have the right to protect yourself and remove these people from your life.
Life is miserable when you live in perpetual states of confusion, fear and trying surviving on relentless hope. This is not love. Whoever is making you feel these ways is not loving you.
If anyone tells you that you should not cut ties with family because “life is short,” you must hold the mindset that the exact reason you did cut ties is because your life is absolutely too short to allow yourself to be continually abused by your family or any other toxic relationship in your life. You have a much better life to live.
By Sherrie
Silence
Perhaps the most important thing we bring to another person is the silence in us, **not the sort of silence that is filled with unspoken criticism or hard withdrawal.
The sort of silence that is a place of refuge, of rest, of acceptance of someone as they are. We are all hungry for this other silence. It is hard to find. In its presence we can remember something beyond the moment , a strength on which to build a life.
Silence is a place of great power and healing ..
~ Rachel Naomi Remen ~
Art by Pascal Campion
Web page : Illegal Retaliatory Evictions
Unfortunately, as the ex wife of a landlord
who has distorted everything business , financial
as well as our personal life and certainly with
regard to our 3 sons and 6 grandchildren ( that I know
of) .
His residence to change , his slow and methodical
planning of years , aided by his family whose opinion
of me , was critical from the get go because I didn’t
accept , that I had to wear a fake mask , or hold a man
on high , when he lived in distortion far too much .
Was it my imagination , that I saw higher sides in him
and held faith for his more attached and balanced
mood in consistent growth ? I have realized our family
was a business , his pride at creating 3 sons to carry
his family name 📛📛📛📛📛📛📛📛📛 had nothing to
do with me ..Secrets and untruths have been held
rotting the core of what was , with our son’s and I
and aided by many who agreed to shut me up , has
ultimately failed .
As any professional , dare retaliate in these unique times
of COVID , their boomerangs will be swift …But just in
their very acts , those wormholes are being exposed
and there are no exemptions .
Any professional business who puts folks in jeopardy
in foundational ways to retaliate , repeadly , covering
themselves , taking no responsibility , discriminations ,
failure to comply with code , forced evacuations that
are delicious with over powering abusive energy ,
enjoying the trauma for the recipient to whom
all abuse is projected .
I lived through this, survived this and I KNOW what
this is .
And I know I am called on , and called to aide others
as much as I can . *** new leases have clasuses that
stipulate that they cannot be legally held ” responsible “,
the same language ex used in his divorce , making me
responsible for legal and health , and every freaking
thing negative , as 20 years with yet another who
met him energetically , and delighted in increased
abuse , as did others who joined in family ,
savoring my son’s disposal of me , adding the death
of our son’s mom , was a complete and done deal
and they wanted nothing to do with me .
Shadow of the matriarch , who has ruled with a
vengeance, that negates a peaceful landing upon
exit from this plane of existence .
The choice is his, to liberate himself or stay as is ..
I’ve been long gone, exhumed from the grave , and
the box of Distortion , and my voice is clear and
much needed , plus Spirit is in the house .
My house , and I am , I am home And that’s magnetic
as my tribe awakens and we converge in cosmic
love and joy 💖.
🌟🐺🦕♓☮️🧚
Blessings & Peace
Dona Luna
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=illegal%20Retaliatory%20Evictions&ko=-1&ia=web
Watch “You Are Now Approaching The Master Number 44⎮Kryon Late Night Series” on YouTube
I surrender to and honor “old souls” who are
Magic ,Mystical , Walking & Talking Historians
It’s wisdom that is timeless as we strive to
exit negatives of past .
This morning I danced in a pj top and a sheet
and felt like my actress self as a young child.
With little furniture there is dance room and
I did and I felt renewed ..I am weary now
as I wash , dry , sort and hang cloths , much
to give away ..it’s exciting .
I was given new things , by a lady , goddess who
stole my heart with her compassionate nurture
and friendship ..So this new life is a reality .
I’m in a home to witness Mother Earth , in Spring and
Summer , having a taste of the worst of Winter
I learned a lot and my list increased of required
readiness items , lol .
But I’m good , ready for bath and bed after some
dinner .
Pay should hit and my $3.37 balance increases!
As my inheritance hits , I’m wisely manifesting
my dreams , many of childhood , many of our
sons …Beloved and never having to worry about home
or being unheard , I have such peace today , as
I am called on to aide many in abusive situations
that example the less concious , who in these
days , highlight the disparity in legal judgements .
Writing in , the lease …cannot sue company
Oh but that’s a very bad move ….
I have a suit that should be open, and it’s
clear what’s going on.
Talking legal is not fun..glad I have close and trusted
advisors .©
DonaLunaLLC
Blessings & Much Peace ☮️💯🙏✌️❤️🥰
“I’ll never be Your Maybe “
Honey,I’m not the kind of person that will wait for you to “figure things out.”I know what i want and who I want it from- I expect the same from you.If you can’t make me a priority, then don’t think that I’ll stick around as a possibility.I know my worth and I’m as good as they come.If you can’t see that, someone else will.I may not have everything always figured out and I may just have “those” days sometimes where i cry in the shower, but then, who doesn’t?I never said I was perfect and I don’t ever want to be.So, if you’re looking for Barbie, Ken, you won’t find her here.I’m imperfectly beautiful in all the most chaotically wonderful ways, and if you’d stop looking at me and start actually seeing me, you might just get that.I need someone strong, confident and passionate-I don’t want to sit idly and watch a small camp fire, I want passion fiery enough to set a thousand nights ablaze.If you’re trying to define me like every other woman you’ve known, then let me just stop you right there.You may never figure me out, you might have a challenge trying to understand me, but if you want something badly enough, I’d think you’d do your best to try to unravel my layers.True love and blazing romance doesn’t just appear for the faint of heart.You can call me stubborn, headstrong or sassy- I’ll just smile and thank you for the compliments.I’m not going to be just another option in your playbook and I’m not happy settling for small slivers of your attention.So, this is your chance and I’m your wake up call.If you’re playing a game, then find another field to play on.My love isn’t something I value lightly and i don’t waste my time with hopscotch of the heart.So, do us both a favor, won’t you?Forget your maybes, hopefully and possibilities.Step up and treat me with some respect if you want to earn my love.My life isn’t a dress rehearsal and this isn’t an audition.This time..I’m playing for keeps.|ravenwolf
GreatCosmicMothersUnite 