Empathy, caring and unconditional love can cure many things, but with a Malignant Narcissist it would be like throwing gas on a fire with the hopes …

Empathy, caring and unconditional love can cure many things, but with a Malignant Narcissist it would be like throwing gas on a fire with the hopes …

— Read on afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2022/07/21/empathy-caring-and-unconditional-love-can-cure-many-things-but-with-a-malignant-narcissist-it-would-be-like-throwing-gas-on-a-fire-with-the-hopes-to-extinguish-it-4/

Waiting for Change

HOW MUCH TIME AND HEARTACHE DID IT COST YOU, WAITING FOR AND IMAGINING THE NARCISSIST WOULD CHANGE? I wasted…wait for it…half my adult life! Time I can’t get back. A dead life filled with confusion and hurt.

I decided to put that behind me and to stop thinking about the past, and to try to have a good present and future. I asked myself, “What can I do today to make my life a little bit better?” I dated some…not much. When I decided to just concentrate on making my life better right now, and on my children, one day, about year later, I met the love of my life.

I had no hesitation about being friends. Everything went so easy. We got along well with our kids. Learned to laugh again and enjoy ourselves. Love grew out of that experience.

I used to use the metaphor “falling in love”, but now I think the better analogy is of a tree growing. When we met, a seed was planted, and soon sprouted, and as time passed, it began to grow. Trees grow slowly, but they can get very large…large enough to withstand anything. It was not how I imagined it would happen. But that’s what happened.

Now I think of love, not as excitement, but as quietly resting in the shade of the tree, protected by its outspread arms, smiling, laughing, caring, feeling totally secure in every respect…personally, emotionally, financially, and it every way. That’s love that lasts.

Mom sues Judge GAL and ex for 8million

Mom Sues Judge, GAL, Ex for $8M in U.S. Federal CourtConspiracy to Deprive of Due Process & Equal Protection
Aneta Hadzi-Tanovic, leader of the local Illinois Women’s Coalition, has filed an $8 million federal lawsuit against the Family Court judge, Robert Wade Johnson, the GAL, and her ex for conspiring to deprive her of her right to due process and equal protection, as well as for “abuse of process” and “intentional infliction of emotional distress”.
Aneta’s custody nightmare mirrors women’s cases all over the country and world in which Family Court judges disregard substantial negative evidence about the father, and fabricate negative evidence about the mother, in order to justify switching custody to the father. 
In Aneta’s case, the judge ignored substantial evidence of physical, psychological and emotional abuse by the father, much of it gathered by police, a forensic interviewer and social services.
Instead of protecting the children, the judge falsely found Aneta to have coached them to report abuse (i.e. alienating), and so is emotionally abusive, despite no evidence supporting that finding. Then he allowed the father to alienate the kids from her to the point that they refuse to talk to her on the phone and are so badly behaved in supervised visitation that she cannot keep a supervisor. 
Aneta had a wonderful, loving relationship with her children and believed their disclosures of abuse. She did everything possible to protect them, but now her relationship with them has been destroyed. She has not seen her children in over a year now. 
Through her pain, Aneta has managed to gather the strength to hit back by filing this federal lawsuit detailing how the judge and GAL conspired in the taking and alienating of her children.
The U.S. Statute 42 U.S.C. §1983 does not provide for injunctions against state judges, so it will not affect the custody ruling or bring her children back. But Aneta hopes publicity on the injustice she has endured, and especially a win, will help her case moving forward and help expose the injustices women everywhere are being subjected to.
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LAWSUIT COUNTS1. Conspiracy to deprive of due process [42 U.S.C. §1983]2. Conspiracy to deprive of equal protection under the law [42 U.S.C. §1983]3. Abuse of process [intentional tort]4. Intentional infliction of emotional distress [intentional tort]
IN ANETA’S OWN WORDSMy ex has been abusing my children and me for very long time. He filed 6 times to DCFS claiming I am abusing my children, all of which were rejected as unfounded.  My children reported that he is forcing them to lie, but nothing has been done about it. I filed a Motion for 604.10(b) Psychological Evaluation and that was denied.   
In June 2017, I was forced to sign a 50/50 Allocation Judgment under a threat by the GAL that if I don’t sign it, they will take my kids away. This was all 2 days after the Judge allowed my attorney to withdraw without giving me 21 days to retain new one, all of which is in direct violation of the Illinois Supreme Court Rule 13. 
After the divorce, my ex intensified his abuse and my children reported him to social services, school officials, police, DCFS, and even a video-recorded forensic interview was done. Even though all the evidence was against my ex, the police, social services and forensic investigations were all quickly dismissed after the former GAL got involved again into everything. 
In court it was all turned against me, with multiple false testimonies by the GAL, and my time was reduced from 50% to supervised visits only. There were periods of 6 months when I didn’t see or even talk to my children at all because my ex and the GAL would not agree to any supervisors. And then when supervisors were finally appointed, my ex would attack one after another for supposedly not doing their job, and they would refuse to do any more supervision. 
In the meantime my children went from loving and caring and wanting to spend time with me, to swearing at me, attacking me, and stealing the stuff from my house, which was also why the last 4 supervisors refused come around my children again and supervise visits. 
TWC NOTE: If you’d like to join your local coalition, email: mycoalition@womenscoalitioninternational.org