I did not abandon our sons

From Instagram recently. Please follow me there. https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/
It helps my quest to spread awareness, inform and uplift.
You’re not alone.
Our children have a version of the truth that was drip-fed them and force-fed them, like a poison, until they are literally sick of hearing anything more about it. The cognitive dissonance is such that even when they sense something not true (what the parental alienator said), they still can’t believe it’s not true. It’s very twisted. Not that we should be unloading our version, our truth, our completely different experience, our grief, our sense of injustice, on them. They have enough to deal with. They have to survive parental alienation, something they don’t even like to recognise as a thing. Coercive control. Child psychological abuse. So, this, ‘I didn’t abandon you’ is what an alienated parent might like to say, but doesn’t / can’t. With time, with counselling, and with whatever it takes to get through this enormously challenging, heartbreaking experience, and with great self-love, we have to do all we can to accept, and to be happy, with or without, our beloved children.

Normal Parenting vs Abuse &Alination

Another from my Instagram feed. Please follow me there.
https://www.instagram.com/charliemccready1/

The parental alienator is angry you left them and you’re no longer under their control, paying their bills or stroking their ego, and playing their victim/victor games, so you must be punished and they will use any means, especially the child/children because that will hurt you the most. Your pain is their pleasure because they are incredibly sad, low, unloving individuals who have deep wounds of their own and rather than fixing them, they blame others – it’s easier. Parental alienators mostly enjoy using coercive control, which is, basically a way of reducing, or totally denying a victim’s freedom, stripping away their sense of self. Parental Alienation with coercive control restricts, undermines or destroys (this is their end game) the child’s relationship with their other parent after family separation. They will manipulate a child (subtle use of language, lies, fears, bribes, threats) into showing unwarranted fear, disrespect or hostility towards the target parent and their extended family and friends.
The parental alienator convinces others the child speaks for her/himself, and this is similar to gaslighting behaviour seen in situations of domestic violence whereby the perpetrator convinces the victim it’s his/her fault. Also, the parental alienator triangulates others into believing the targeted parent is the cause of the children’s rejection. It is not normal behaviour for a child to totally reject a parent.

Dixie Chick’s: Traveling Soldier

This song Traveling Soldier came to mind as I considered all the veterans, of many wars ..wars of the soul and spirit

My 1st boyfriend became my 1st husband and brought much shame into our union .

My brother , perhaps my whole family at that time knew of his shadow but kept secrets of his infidelity .

After 9 months of trauma and abuse ( he was working out of town 4 nights a week ); he was drafted .

He left me with orders .

And his 65 cherry 🍒 red GTO.

I rebelled against his abuse and unknown secrets that had a very negative energy to them .I was sensitive to these unknowns but unaware of my intuition . Of course I had faith but was overwhelmed at being treated like a possession .

I don’t recall any discussions or plans for the future .

I wed due the loss of my virginity ..

And it was over , he filed for divorce , took emergency leave and took possession of his car .

I had nothing to say except that I was too young to be married .

Charged with abandonment …

Then

Marriage to a man who for 4plus decades has held his trauma , puking it out on others , making others responsible .

At the sale of the family business he began to travel or claimed to.

In high trauma made worse by psychiatric drugs , I needed him . Our eldest drove me to various motels in the area . He was not at any of them but it certainly was an education of his habits unknown to me

Runner

Ghosted

A guest or drop in …

His secrets , his war, his lies and his projected blame and shame are his and his alone .

There are all kinds of soldiers, veterans, and survivors and very long and crooked the long and twisted journey to leave that war , to loose children and grandchildren to such distortion.

To discover , it’s money power motivated , the ever pressing need to WIN against and release of a past that did much destruction and cannot exist in the consciousness and awareness of the existence of abuses that harm children by erasing a parent .

Blessings 💚 🙌 Peace ✌ 🙏 ❤

Dona Luna

Narcissist Credo; Diminish & Isolate

A Narcissist’s design and scheme to diminish and isolate people from one another – Divide and Conquer! Narcissists USE triangulation on a regular basis to shore up their fake image through compartmentalizing people and information – this keeps their lies hidden from one person to the next.

https://afternarcissisticabuse.wordpress.com/2022/01/27/a-narcissists-design-and-scheme-to-diminish-and-isolate-people-from-one-another-divide-and-conquer-narcissists-use-triangulation-on-a-regular-basis-to-shore-up-their-fake-image-through-compartmen/

Retaliatory Abuse towards children

An example , horrifically abusive

My son came back to me 17 days ago after almost 8 months of being alienated from me. His father is now furious with him. We just found out 2 days ago that he and his wife booked a trip to Disney and will be taking only my sons half sister. They leave in 3 weeks. My son is not invited and he is absolutely devastated. Has anyone else had anything similar happen? Any words of advise? I have been through hell for the last 8 months. I’m traumatized and I feel like I can’t think straight. I don’t want my son to be under stress anymore, I don’t know how to help, I can’t fix that relationship and I’m honestly terrified of my ex after what he just tried to do. I just can’t stand seeing my son continue to suffer. I want them to make up but I don’t know how to help and I’m terrified of being cut out again.

Hate Crime: PA Child Abuse

It’s sad so many encourage Parental Alienation with their silence and tacit approval. If you watch in silence you are part of the problem. I’ve personally seen the pain this causes to both the children and the target parent. The damage these malicious parents do to families, friendships and lives is horrible. Just because it doesn’t affect you doesn’t mean silence is okay. Would you sit in silence as a man beats a woman?!?! Then why sit in silence as these abusive parents damage so many lives?

PAS is child abuse.