You can do all the research in the world to understand the inner workings of the narcissist’s mind, but it will do nothing to influence the outcome of the relationship.
Narcissists don’t think like most people. You can try to appeal to their seemingly ‘hurt’ inner child, be the most devoted partner or family member, and do everything they ask of you, but it will not change a thing.
Narcissists are not interested in stable, loving, reciprocal connections. The idea of meeting your emotional needs repulses them to the core. The only positive leanings they have about your love and devotion are that they can use your sentimental feelings against you for their own benefit.
Here’s one thing I know to be absolutely true – when it comes to narcissists, we all want to believe we’ll be the exception to the rule, but none of us ever are.
There simply is not a way to “make things work” with a narcissist that doesn’t involve erasing your own identity, emotions, and needs.
You cannot set boundaries with them (none that they’ll honor, anyway)
You can’t reason with them.
You can’t get them to stop lying, cheating, betraying, etc.
You cannot have a loving, reciprocal, healthy relationship if you’re the only one interested in having it.
And this is the last thing on the narcissist’s mind, even if they try to convince you otherwise. Pay attention to patterns, because patterns never lie.
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( #📷 @kim.saeed )