Tag: survivors

Life Lessons

10 THINGS TIME HAS TAUGHT ME

1. Most of our life is spent chasing false goals and worshipping false ideals. The day you realise that is the day you really start to live.

2. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second, everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.

3. Fighting the ageing process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing, but it always has been. Don’t waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new.

4. Nobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot. When that sinks in you are free of comparison and free of judgement. It’s truly liberating.

5. No one really sees what you do right, everyone sees what you do wrong. When that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reason and you will start having so much more fun.

6. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better. Your body is amazing and important but it does not define you.

7. Your health is obviously important but stress, fear and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink you may deny yourself. Happiness and peace are the best medicine.

8. Who will remember you and for what, become important factors as you age. Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, they can travel farther than you can imagine.

9. We are not here for long but if you are living against the wind it can feel like a life-sentence. Life should not feel like a chore, it should feel like an adventure.

10. Always, always, drink the good champagne and use the things you keep for ‘best’. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Today is a gift that’s why we call it the present. Eat, Drink (or don’t) & Be Merry.

Donna Ashworth

From ‘To The Women: words to live by’

https://amzn.eu/d/boCNeID

#growingolder #women #inspiration

#ageing #wise #wisdom #menopause

No Future in sticking by Narcissist

One of the reasons it’s so hard to accept the narcissist for who they are is believing they think the same way we do.⁠

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They repeat the script and we believe them.⁠

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Their script keeps the fantasy alive in our minds that they care, that we’re deeply connected to them, and that we have a special bond with them that no one understands.⁠

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Only…this is nothing more than a storyline we keep alive in our imagination (with the narcissist’s help, of course).⁠

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The truth is too painful, so we deny the reality that keeps playing out before us, even in the face of unquestionable proof.⁠

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We project our empathy and compassion onto them, falling prey to the idea that they’re just a hurt soul who is trying to live and survive like anyone else.⁠

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And all while you’re giving them second chances and the benefit of the doubt, they’re planning on ways to destroy you…it’s only a matter of time.⁠

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I promise you that if you’re dealing with a narcissist, they may pretend to be a decent person here and there, but you will be hit with the shock of their deceit…and probably sooner than later.⁠

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Which will later lead to crippling feelings of anger and revenge. You will be so consumed with hatred for them, you won’t be able to see straight.⁠

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You’ll be so obsessed with feelings of revenge, you won’t be able to function in everyday life.⁠

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How can I say this so confidently? Because not only do I hear it from my students and clients (every day), I experienced these feelings myself.⁠

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If you’re struggling to detach from the narcissist, to resist their hoovering, or are feeling fed up with yourself for the number of times you’ve forgiven them, chances are it’s because you’ve bought into one or more of their schemes.

Grief , Sorrow, Loss = Strength

In the Lakota tradition, a person who is grieving is considered most wakan, most holy.

There’s a sense that when someone is struck by the sudden lightning of loss, he or she stands on the threshold of the spirit world. The prayers of those who grieve are considered especially strong, and it is proper to ask them for their help.

You might recall what it’s like to be with someone who has grieved deeply. The person has no layer of protection, nothing left to defend. The mystery is looking out through that person’s eyes. For the time being, he or she has accepted the reality of loss and has stopped clinging to the past or grasping at the future. In the groundless openness of sorrow, there is a wholeness of presence and a deep natural wisdom.

Partentification

Parentification is where a child is forced or expected, to act as a parental stand-in from a young age.

Parentification is generally classified as parent-focused or sibling-focused and then either as instrumental or emotional. Parent-focused means you were primarily taking care of your parent. Sibling-focused means you were taking care of a sibling or siblings.

Instrumental revolves around practical responsibilities.

– Physically meeting the needs of your siblings or parent by feeding them, helping them get dressed, or bathing them.

– Being in charge of cleaning, cooking, or grocery shopping.

– Paying bills, budgeting, or being in charge of the family finances.

Emotional revolves around being forced to be an emotional support system.

– Listening to your parent talk to you about adult problems.

– Giving advice or comforting your parent over age-inappropriate problems.

– Mediating between your parents or family members.

– Being the one to make your siblings feel loved, safe, and protected.

#parentification

Relationship with Narcissistic be like ….

In every toxic relationship, there comes a point where you look at your life and think, “Not This”. It could be a fleeting moment of awareness during your morning shower or when you’re being subjected to yet another silent treatment or triangulation event. ⁠

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We all have “Not This” moments during the course of toxic relationships.⁠

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It’s during our “Not This” moments that we can choose to start planning something different for ourselves. We may not know what that will look like, but in the moment, it doesn’t matter. All we know is “Not This”. There is no turning back.⁠

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Or, after the dust settles, we may choose to “work on” the relationship because staying means less upheaval than leaving. At least with a toxic partner, we know what to expect. ⁠

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Getting out on one’s own is often a scary proposition, so we choose to stay in “Not This”, thereby setting ourselves up for a life of emotional ruin. You’ll look back on all the years you wasted and realize things haven’t changed at all.⁠

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But, every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around. I have several resources for you if you’re ready, or even if you’re just thinking about it…⁠

👉 https://linktr.ee/kim.saeed

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Xo (◍•ᴗ•◍)♡ ✧*。⁠

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#healing #breakinghabits #emotions #emotionalhealth #hope #selflove #emotionalwellness #narcissisticabuserecovery

Line Em Up – James Taylor

Of course I’m a huge fan , my Dad and 2nd son are named James , which translates to supple-mentor.

A deceased soul mate was also named James and died of extreme complications from years of IV drug use .

The detached upbringing and loss of both parents ; created this grieving soul who captured my heart in a bond that I could not escape . Addiction to this addict did not resonate and I married for several weeks to break the tie that bound me . I had experimented to better understand and it did not please me and it was easy to abstain except for “pot”.

In marriage it was the same , an occasional Valium , or smoke.

Sleep was threatened from the get go , with intense snoring and I don’t do well with lack of sleep . My nature then was high strung and active but I became weak and moody but did not understand why .

The reasons have lined themselves up , as it were . Our family was destroyed for reasons of addiction , control and ego .

The eyes have become more beady . And darker . As have some of our leaders , exposing a consciousness lack that is staggering .

After hearing Romney state that morality had nothing to do with politics , yesterday I heard the GOP rep talk about morality in the GOP.

That’s a good thing because I know Republicans that are moral and the greedy eyes are lining up . I don’t need to name names but look at the eyes ! Note who peers over their glasses in a passive aggressive profession / authority , manner ?

We each are part of a whole and as the harvest comes in we do harvest the truths that are clearing the way to new earth and less greedy little eyes !

youtube.com/watch

Preference for Alone Time : Bad Ass

I have always spent time alone since childhood and came to appreciate my alone time ; on my own time upon beginning waking 03/04.

Of course I have met lots of lonely folks and defined that I could not and would not be a space filler

awarenessact.com/people-who-prefer-to-be-alone-are-total-badasses-recent-study-shows/

Child may present as Autistic in Narcissist home

A few years into becoming a consultant for narcissistic abuse recovery, I began to notice a high correlation between parents who had an autistic (ASD) child, and who also had a narcissistic partner in the home.

In some cases, emotional abuse and neglect can present as ASD, but recent research also points to some children being highly sensitive who cannot process their emotions in a toxic household.

In the movie, Sensitive – The Untold Story, featuring Alanis Morissette and HSP expert, Dr. Elaine Aron, cover this topic in detail. It’s definitely worth getting a second opinion if your child has been diagnosed with ASD…as well as exploring options for getting your child(ren) out of toxic environments.

#highlysensitiveperson #hsp #empath #highlysensitive #highlysensitivepeople #infj #sensitive #introvert #introvertproblems #mentalhealth

Past Trauma Shows up in your body

“I don’t remember much about my past or childhood.”

A common reality for many.

“Do I have to?” No.

“Can I still heal?” Yes.

Your past is stored in your body. You are quite literally a walking, living, breathing product of your past. The evidence of your past is present in your daily life.

It’s present in your triggers.

It’s present in your habits.

It’s present in your beliefs.

It’s present in your relationships.

It’s present in your patterns.

It’s present in your reactions.

There’s no need to remember a thing, because your body remembers it for you.

Your body can heal. Your nervous system can heal. You can heal.

By noticing the automatic self.

By becoming aware of the patterns.

By bringing safety to your body.

By regulating the nervous system.

By consciously choosing different.

By reprogramming your subconscious.

By listening.

By nurturing.

By becoming fluent in the language of your body, which is sensation.

By showing compassion.

By increasing empathy.

By meeting your own needs.

By effectively communicating.

By being vulnerable.

And so much more. 🙏🏻

#healingjourney #healinghorse #holisticjourney #healingtrauma #traumasurvivor #mentalhealthmatters #Goodvibes #spiritualquotes #thirdeyeawakening #Knowthyself #spiritualenlightenment #spiritualawareness #soulgrowth #wellnesswarriors #healingfromptsd #trauma #spiritualhealing #healingbody #markearlix #physicalpain #emotionalpain #spiritualquestions #horsehealing #painrelief