Tag: parents

Craig Childress PsyD – Pathology of Lies

Devoid of truth or light … know this all too well

This is a pathology of lies. How many times have I told you that?

Countless times – because is is true. Stop reacting like it’s unexpected. It’s not. It’s a symptom feature of the pathogen, it lies all the time. Not some of the time… all of the time.

Even when there is no reason to lie… it lies. This is a pathology of lies, the pathogen lies all the time. All. How do you know when the pathogen is lying? Its lips are moving. All the time, it lies ALL the time.

I wish I had an example from our everyday world I could show you of a narcissistic, psychopathic, manipulative Dark Triad personality who is collapsing into persectuory delusions and constant continual lies.

You know what that’s like. Your pathological ex- lies to the judge in declarations and you spend hours and hours compiling all the evidence to prove the lies. What do they do when you prove their lies are lies?

They lie again. They just don’t stop lying. It’s a symptom feature of the pathology. So are your huge mountains of evidence you’ve compiled trying to prove reality to people.

You don’t need to prove reality to me. I already know reality – you’re fine – you did nothing wrong, it’s not your fault, you’re ex-spouse is psychotic and cruel – the type of psychotic (out of touch with reality) is called a “persecutory delusion” – delusion is the professional term for the big-lie, the one at the core.

The big lie is that the child is being malevolently treated in some way by you. That’s not true, that’s a lie, that’s just crazy… the professional term for “that’s just crazy” is a delusion, in this case it’s a persecutory delusion – a fixed and false belief in supposed victimization.

I wish I had an example from everyday life I could show you. I think a real-life example would make it oh-so-clear… lying is a symptom feature of the pathogen, it lies all the time – all of it. All.

Its lips are moving… it’s lying again.

The pathogen seeks to destabilize you in every way possible. It creates a false reality of lies. You trigger… don’t trigger. Stay grounded. You’re the healthier parent, you’re the protective parent. You have work to do, you’ll need to step-up and step into leading the family.

You will face challenges because the mental health system in the family courts is immensely broken. We’ll need to fly the airplane at the same time as we fix the airplane. That’s a challenge. I’m a certified pilot, I’m here with you and will talk you through it.

We have to obtain an accurate diagnosis for the cause of the attachment pathology with you and your child. You want a treatment plan to fix it. Hold onto that and don’t let go… you want a treatment plan to fix the attachment pathology being displayed by the child.

The pathogen tells lies about you. Of course it does – it lies all the time, not some of the time… ALL the time. Even when it doesn’t have to lie… it lies. It’s the craziest thing to see… it doesn’t need to lie… but it can’t help itself… it lies all the time.

Perhaps if you look around you can find an example from our everyday life of a narcissistic, psychopathic, manipulative Dark Triad personality who lies all the time – all of it – forcing the real-world to generate mountains of detailed evidence proving the lies.

And what’s the pathogen’s response when caught – in detail – in the lie? It lies again. Expect it. Anticipate it. Don’t trigger. Don’t disprove the lies – speak the truth – it’s a shared (induced) persecutory delusion – and get an accurate diagnosis because you’ll need a treatment plan to fix the attachment pathology in your child and family – to fix the problem.

You’re the healthier parent. We need your leadership in times of chaos and collapse. You’re the protective parent. I know that and you know that. So let’s get to work protecting your child.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.

Clinical Psychologist, CA PSY 18857

Sinéad O’Connor Documentary ‘Nothing Compares’ Reexamines Her Complicated Story | HuffPost Entertainment

Director Kathryn Ferguson re-centers the singer-songwriter as the icon she rightly is. But that comes with limitations.
— Read on www.huffpost.com/entry/sinead-oconnor-nothing-compares-documentary-interview_n_6335dab4e4b0b7f89f3ef123

Conditioning & Traumatizing – Legacy for kids

Many women relate to being single married single parents , as I realized I was responsible for everything but a paycheck ..when I reacted to the psychiatric RX , the traumas of my life , our family was affected … however I became responsible for everything from a to z and after 20 years of trying to resurrect a family from those ashes to normalcy , ease and acceptance/ forgiveness is not my sole purpose in life .

I had no idea just how many families are adversely effected by psychiatry, toxic/addictive RX, a legal system that has aligned with the dictates of the psychiatric/ chemical companies for profit over families .

We cannot ignore the side effects of deep and profound trauma that is diagnosed as mental illness of varied labels and the consequences for the individual who does not know, accept or allow that transformation that re creation , reparenting , and surrender give us .

So having witnessed and experienced and researched , I know in my bones children deserve much better and it’s coming ..

( we are all seeds in gods hands )

Parentification by Charlie Mc Cready

Alienating behaviours include what’s known as parentification. Signs of this will be when a child shows signs of parenting one of their parents (the alienating one). The child knows far too much about what should be purely adult problems or concerns. Also, the child feels responsible for the well-being of the parent – a role-reversal. It could be that the child feels guilty because the alienating/aligned parent makes them feel they’ve sacrificed for the child. Or they’ve been trauma bonded through shared persecutory delusions. It is, of course, psychologically abusive. All children, especially the alienated enmeshed child, should be free to be themselves, to ‘find themselves’, to self-realise, and develop a separate identity. This is an important goal of adolescence onwards. They need love, support, encouragement, and the space to do this, which is the opposite of the control and coercion inflicted on them by an alienating parent, intent only on creating an obedient mini-me, with imprinted thoughts and beliefs.

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienation #parentalalienationawareness #custody #custodybattle #coparentingwithanarcissist #coparenting #highconflictcoparenting #highconflictdivorce #divorce #childabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissism #narcissist #narcissist #familycourt

Pathogenic Parenting

It is not normal for a child to align with one parent over another who is ‘normal-range’, willing, loving, available. It should be something all family courts are alert to because it is a sign of parental alienation and there is pathogenic parenting going on here. It is child psychological abuse. To cope with the traumatic experience of being told terrible things about one parent by the other who also requires and coaxes that child to fear, loathe and reject their loved, loving ‘target’ parent, the child psychologically ‘splits’. It is a way of cutting off from the love they feel (that they cannot feel anymore) for the rejected parent. It seems counter-intuitive but even in abusive relationships, the victim seeks love and affection from the perpetrator. It’s Stockholm Syndrome, and ‘identification with the aggressor’ which I’ve covered in other posts. The alienated child is angry, rude, and highly critical of the ‘other’ parent. The experts should be wary of the child who has few if any good memories of the alienated parent, and has no wish to repair the relationship. Abused children want a good relationship with their abusive parent. This is hard to believe but true. The abused (alienated) child wants to downplay or deny any wrongdoing on the part of the ‘aligned’ parent, they don’t do the same with the ‘target’ parent. These are red flags.

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienation #parentalalienationawareness #highconflictdivorce #Divorce #childabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissism #narcissist

Targeted parents , don’t see it coming

As target parents, we do not foresee alienation from our child/ren. That is not because we are weak, gullible, stupid or ignorant. It’s because it’s not loving behaviour, and it is not something a mentally healthy parent would do. It’s not what we would do. There may have been signs (narcissism, for one) but still, we didn’t imagine the other parent would be willing to hurt the child/ren so they could hurt us. We hoped and trusted that the child/ren would be of the highest importance. Someone told me yesterday that a judge, before taking custody of his son, said the ruling was ‘against his better judgement’. How ridiculous! If the judge thinks it’s not right, then why make the ruling? He’s a judge! That’s his actual, paid job, to use his best judgement, and not make a ruling that goes against his best judgement. This father also described receiving letters with such statements as; ‘in the best interests of the children’. What hypocrisy! Family courts should understand that a loving parent does not badmouth the other parent, and have the child aligned with them against the other parent. A loving parent encourages and supports the child/ren in having a good relationship with the other parent. They do not coerce the child into fearing, hating and rejecting the other parent. This is psychological abuse. A parent capable of engaging in parental alienation will typically refuse to see the harm they’re doing or to collaborate in any way that’s helpful or remedial. These people do not change. They have poison in their own systems, and their parenting is pathogenic. We have to do all we can, when we can, to be the opposite of the alienator. We have to stay sane, we have to remain the mentally healthy parent amidst the pathology of abuse and lies, and a corrupt/broken healthcare system and appalling family court misunderstandings, rulings and theatricals. It helps to work on ourselves, to find understanding and some kind of acceptance, to be firm/know our boundaries, to be strong, to live a fulfilling life, to stay calm and non-reactive to provocation, to be happy, and to be mentally healthy – all the things the alienating parent is not able to do or be.

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienationawareness #parentalalienation #divorce #highconflictdivorce #coparenting #coparentingwithanarcissist #childabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissism #narcissist

Charlie Mc Cready , The “ Child Catcher “

Do you remember the sinister Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? He terrified me when I was about the same age as the brother and sister in the film, Jeremy and Jemima Potts, especially when he abducts them. The character didn’t appear in Ian Fleming’s book but was a creation of the writer of some of the greatest villains of children’s literature, Roald Dahl and the director, Ken Hugues. In his long black hat, the Child Catcher searches the streets for children with a butterfly net, luring them to him with promises of lollipops. His horsedrawn carriage is transformed into a cage as soon as the children enter it, and he carts them off to prison under the orders of the evil rulers of Vulgaria, Baron and Baroness Bomburst. Their father Caractacus along with Truly Scrumptuous finally rescue all the children, topple the evil regime, and Vulgaria becomes a free country.

In many ways, alienating parents are like child catchers, and what they do is tantamount to a kidnapping. It feels like robbery, our children were taken from us with lies instead of lollipops. But we have to be so careful about the rescue mission. First of all they have to understand they’ve effectively been enmeshed/stolen from us. It reminds me of these quotes:

#charliemccready #9StepProgram #parentalalienation #parentalalienationawareness #coparentingwithanarcissist #coparenting #highconflictdivorce #divorce #childabuse #narcissisticchildabuse #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissism #narcissist