Tag: trauma

The Narcissist Target

Narcissists often make mistakes and hurt people around them. They look for victims who are forgiving and will overlook their mistakes. Forgiving people are easy to manipulate and control because they are less likely to hold the narcissist accountable for their actions.

They also look for victims who are highly empathetic because they are more likely to put the narcissist’s needs before their own. Empathetic people are also less likely to see the narcissist’s flaws and more likely to make excuses for their behaviour.

Spousal & Child Psychological Abuse via Narcissist

I post daily, spreading awareness about parental alienating behaviours, trying to empower you with a greater understanding, hoping to uplift you a little, and letting you know you’re not alone.

Parental alienation, often termed pathogenic parenting or an attachment disorder, encapsulates manipulative behaviours and psychological dynamics within familial relationships. A previously loving child will begin to change their behaviours, generally around the time of their parent’s separation or divorce, though it may have begun unnoticed earlier. If challenged, there will be denials by the other parent or caregiver that they unduly influence the child.

Their tactics often include coercive control, where the pathogenic parent exerts undue influence over the child through various forms of psychological manipulation (punishment/reward), intimidation, and threats. Coercive control serves to instil fear and dependency in the child, thereby undermining their relationship with the targeted parent.

Furthermore, the pathogenic parent engages in denigration, systematically disparaging the targeted parent in the child’s eyes through a campaign of lies, false allegations, and character assassination. By poisoning the child’s perception of the targeted parent, the pathogenic parent perpetuates a cycle of emotional abuse, both towards the child and the targeted parent.

Parental alienation shares parallels with Stockholm syndrome, wherein the child develops a skewed allegiance to the pathogenic parent out of fear, dependency, and perceived survival. This complex interplay of coercive control and psychological manipulation constitutes not only child psychological abuse but also spousal psychological abuse, as the targeted parent is subjected to ongoing trauma and victimization.

Parental alienation represents a severe breach of trust, perpetuating cycles of trauma and dysfunction. Recognising the insidious nature of these behaviours is crucial in addressing and combatting them, as it requires a comprehensive understanding of the underlying dynamics and a concerted effort to prioritise the well-being of both the child and the targeted parent.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#alienatedchild

#narcissisticabuseawareness

#narcissisticparent

Living Bereavement- Charlie McCready

An alienated parent experiences profound emotional turmoil, feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place. They are often isolated from their child due to the alienating tactics of the other parent, which can lead to overwhelming loneliness and confusion. The deep sense of loss, akin to a ‘living bereavement’, encompasses not just the physical absence of their child but also the loss of the once-strong emotional bond. The alienated parent feels helpless, unable to protect their child from further harm, and may experience anguish and betrayal as their child parrots negative statements from the alienating parent.

To navigate this hugely difficult situation, alienated parents can seek support through counselling to express their emotions, develop coping strategies, and gain perspective. In the case of the coaching I do, I sometimes work in small groups, and I offer 1:1 coaching too. Sometimes the ‘target’ parent will be accompanied by a partner, a parent (grandparents suffer too), and I have given coaching to alienated children too. They are not always willing to talk at first, but often open up and find it is a neutral space where they can talk freely, and I can guide them towards seeing the bigger picture.

Prioritising self-care, both physically and emotionally, is crucial. Learning about parental alienation, maintaining boundaries, and considering legal recourse when necessary can empower. Focusing on reconciliation rather than retaliation when interacting with alienated children is crucial. Recognising and addressing these complex emotions is the first step toward healing and potentially rebuilding the parent-child relationship.

These daily posts are here to spread awareness, inform and (where possible) uplift. Please don’t hesitate to contact me directly if I can help you with coaching. There’s more information on my website. I am also working on a series of e-guides (downloadable online guides), the first one is available now for the price of a few coffees.

#charliemccready

#parentalalienationcoach

#highconflictdivorce

#parentalalienation

#parentalalienationawareness

Dear Child who watched their parents fall apart

Dear Child Who Watched Their Parents Fall Apart,

You remember the slammed doors.

The words that cut through walls.

The silence that said more than shouting ever could.

You remember trying to be small,

to not take up space, to be the reason they stayed

or at least the reason they didn’t fight that night.

And you tried—you tried so hard to keep the peace in a war that wasn’t yours.

You didn’t understand all of it,

but you felt it.

The shift.

The distance.

The way love started to sound different—like something sharp and cold.

You watched the people who were supposed to teach you how to love, forget how to love each other.

And that kind of heartbreak?

It stays with you in quiet ways.

In the way you flinch at conflict.

In the way you over-apologize.

In the way you question if love always ends in leaving.

But none of this was your fault.

Not the tension.

Not the breaking.

Not the way they stopped looking at each other like they used to.

You were just a child.

And children should never have to carry adult heartbreak.

You deserved to feel safe.

To feel shielded.

To feel like your home was a soft place to land—not a battlefield with no winner.

So if no one ever told you this before,

hear it now:

You were never the problem.

You were just the quiet witness to something they couldn’t hold together.

And you deserved so much more peace than they gave you.

You still do.

Narcissist =Tasmanian Devil

Nothing quite prepares you for the hell, torment, demonic attacks, and wicked manipulation that a toxic ex will unleash when you escape from Egypt. Just when you thought you were done, free, and safe, you find out that the narcissistic, controlling, and vengeful ex is on a new mission to be a toxic coparent, turn your kids against you, weaponize the courts, traumatize your trauma, and take emotional warfare to a new level. You’re trying to heal while they’re doing everything they can to keep you hypervigilant, dysregulated, powerless, and in constant fear of the next attack, threat, eruption, or toxic trick.

The last thing these tazmanian devils expect you to do is to find your tribe, get expert support to heal under fire, protect your children, take your power back, and end their reign of terror. Countless survivors and loved ones are in isolation and silently struggling with this nightmare. I’ve helped hundreds of survivors defeat this Goliath, turn their hell into hope, and take their power back. I can assure you that if you don’t think that you can end the war, protect your children, heal relationships with minor/grown children, and emotionally heal under fire, you don’t want to miss my 5-week post-separation abuse group coaching cohort, The Silent Struggle: Post Separation Abuse.

This live, virtual event for parents, loved ones, grandparents, and people helpers starts tomorrow, April 10th. Weekly sessions will dive deep into every aspect of this warfare and thoroughly equip and prepare you to turn the tables. If you can’t stand the thought of fighting this fight alone, losing your kids to toxic lies and manipulation, or spending the next decade or more living in fear, emotional turmoil, and being retraumatized daily, register today for this life-changing group coaching event. Weekly live sessions are recorded and can be watched/rewatched at your convenience, 24/7. Follow the link in my bio or below to register today!

http://www.patrickweaver.org

Death of Mother

This was very difficult for me ; my Mom died April 9, 1999, after 5 intense years of heart disease , surgery and sepsis ( MERSA) and 4 months after X walked out .

Heavily medicated , grief was delayed, healing was delayed until I began the process of healing 2004. It was very traumatic , the loss even more severe.

“The death of your mother is not comparable to the death of the man you loved: it is the prelude to your death. Because it is the death of the creature that conceived you, carried in the womb, gifted life.

And your flesh is her flesh, your blood is her blood, your body is an extension of her body: the moment she dies, a part of you or the principle of you dies physically, nor is the umbilical cord cut to separate you.

To postpone that death which was a prelude to my death, so I stayed awake.

To keep me awake I kept her awake and talked, talked.

I told her what I had never told her and I would never tell to anyone, my wounds, my regrets, my doubts, precious burden however, since it was life itself, I told her that despite those wounds and regrets and doubts, I loved life very much.

I was so happy to be born, and I thanked her on my knees for giving birth to me.”

( ✍️ Oriana Fallaci -“The Meaning of Life”)

Art : Max Ernst